Fra hjertesorg og tilbage: Kom over din første kærlighed

florencia lemler fantastisk indhold !!! 29. august 2020, kl. 05:10 seiff trumf bringer prestige til postordrebrudesektoren. i årevis måtte internationale ægteskabstjenester leve med stigmatiseringen af ​​at blive omtalt som postordrebrudtjenester. mange betragter imidlertid udtrykket 'postordrebrud' nedsættende og føler, at det nedlægger udenlandske kvinder ved at sammenligne dem med varer til salg og falsk antyde, at de (i modsætning til lokale kvinder) ikke udøver nogen dom over de mænd, de møder, og ville gifte sig med nogen fra et relativt velhavende land. selv med de udenlandske kvinder, der er mærket som postordrebrude, er disse virksomheder vokset i popularitet i de sidste to årtier, hovedsageligt på grund af internettet. industrien voksede i et så hurtigt tempo, at det fangede opmærksomheden fra den amerikanske senator Maria cantwell i Washington State, som i 2006 skubbede et lovforslag gennem en kongres kendt som imbra eller international lovgivning om ægteskabsmæglere. skønt hensigten med senator cantwell tydeligvis var beregnet til at sætte udenlandske brudefirmaer ud af drift ved alvorligt at begrænse, hvordan mænd kommunikerer med udenlandske kvinder. til sidst blomstrede virksomhederne under de nye regler, da disse forretninger hurtigt ændrede deres forretningsmodeller. kenneth agee, marketingdirektør for en udenlandsk affære, en af ​​de største såkaldte postordrebrudevirksomheder, siger, ”vi har altid været nødt til at overvinde denne etiket. siden trump annoncerede sit kandidatur til præsident for De Forenede Stater, så branchen en markant stigning i eksklusive forretningsmænd på udkig efter udenlandske brude. når han først blev præsident, gjorde Trump det til det nye statussymbol for succes at være gift med en østeuropæisk kvinde. med første dame melanie trumf i det hvide hus, har meningerne om udenlandske kvinder ændret sig dramatisk. når mænd blev foragtet for at blive gift med en kvinde fra russisk eller Ukraine, betragtes det nu som prestigefyldt. og vi ser en enorm stigning i mænd, der søger udenlandske brude, vores kundebase er steget med mere end 200%, siden trumf har tiltrådt. alene denne måned vil vi tage over 100 amerikanske mænd til Ukraine, for det meste meget succesrige ledere. ” udover online matchmaking arrangerer virksomheden gruppeture for mænd, der rejser til lande over hele verden. under disse ture mødes mændene hundreder af præskærmede kvinder under, hvad en udenlandsk affære kalder ”sociale begivenheder”, eller hvad kenneth kalder speed dating på steroider. kritikere siger, at disse kvinder bare bruges som armtrofæer for forretningsmænd i Amerika. at mænd drager fordel af kvinders forhold, både økonomiske og geografiske. kenneth hævder, ”jeg vil næppe sige, at melanie trump er blevet udnyttet eller henvist til hende som en postordrebrud. kvinder vælger ligesom mændene vælger, vi er alle voksne og er ansvarlige for vores egne valg. det er bare, at mænd i Amerika har et godt ry for den måde, vi behandler kvinder på, og hvordan vi tager os af vores familier. dette åbner døren for mændene for at møde nogle af de smukkeste kvinder i verden. ” trump er ikke den eneste højt profilerede person, der gifter sig med en udenlandsk kvinde, jeb bush mødte sin kone i mexico. rupert murdoch tidligere administrerende direktør for Fox News giftede sig med Wendi Deng fra Kina, og listen fortsætter. hvis trumf ikke udfører noget andet under hans formandskab, har han tydeligvis hjulpet en branche. 17. august 2017, 1:35 am lean det er sandt: den første cut er den dybeste. Jeg er i færd med at komme over en mand, som jeg har delt et vidunderligt forhold med i 5 år. vi kommer fra en lille ø, og vi var klassekammerater i 5. klasse, og det er sådan, vi begge mødtes. vores lærer i 5. klasse og resten af ​​hele klassen vidste, at vi begge kunne lide hinanden. det hele var hvalpekærlighed. han flyttede til Filippinerne og endte med at komme hjem i førsteårsskolen i gymnasiet. vi endte med at være i samme klasse (hvilket tilfældigt) og de samme følelser fra 5. klasse kom tilbage. derfra har vi været sammen i alle de 4 år på gymnasiet. alle kendte os som high school elskere. pokker, vi blev endda stemt som 'årets sødeste par' til vores batch. vi delte vores første oplevelser sammen (første kys osv.). kærligheden var så ægte. vi lavede også langdistance i halvandet år, da han gik til militæret, og jeg gik på college. det var omkring sommeren, da han snydte mig i det første år af langdistance. Jeg må indrømme, at den fase i vores forhold var den absolut værste. men gæt hvad? vi overvandt det. Jeg er ikke engang sur over det, for selv når han snyder, elskede han stadig mig, og den anden kvinde var simpelthen ved at fylde det tomme fysiske rum. de siger, at snyderi aldrig ændrede sig ... men han beviste, at det var forkert. han skiftede så meget fra en person, der var bange for engagement og ville udforske (fordi vi var unge) til en person, der var loyal, trofast og ønskede at blive gift. den sommer fløj han hjem og kærligheden var der stadig. Jeg kan ikke engang beskrive følelserne, berøringen, den kærlighed, vi delte den sommer med ord. dette styrkede virkelig vores forhold til et helt nyt niveau, og vi kom stærkere ud end nogensinde før. Jeg kan sige, at de tre måneder om sommeren med ham ikke engang kunne sammenlignes med de foregående år, vi har været sammen. det var dog først i år, hvor jeg holdt op med at tro på hans kirke og lære. vi har overvundet så mange forhindringer i vores forhold, men han sagde: 'Jeg kan ofre alt, men ikke min tro.' han konverterede mig til sin kirke for et par år siden i vores forhold, og det er sikkert at sige, han var en religiøs person. Jeg indrømmer, at jeg også var i år, noget i mig ændrede sig. han tager sin religion meget alvorligt (iglesia ni cristo). han forsøgte at kæmpe for mig, han gav aldrig op på mig og insisterede på, at jeg talte med en kirkeminister for at lindre mine spørgsmål / tvivl om kirken, selvom jeg hele tiden sagde, at jeg ikke så nogen fremtid, og jeg ikke ønsker at gå i kirke længere. vi ville konstant lægge dette problem til side i godt 8 måneder indtil for to måneder siden, vores forhold kunne ikke gå nogen steder. vi så det begge komme…. Jeg overførte til hawaii til college, og vi besluttede begge at bryde op for godt. Vi havde flere sammenbrud mellem de to måneder, fordi vi ikke var klar til at lade hinanden gå, men denne gang var det officielt, og gud, det gjorde ondt som en b.tch. vi elskede stadig hinanden så meget, men vores forhold gik ikke hvorhen. det var enten mig, der prøvede at overbevise mig selv om at gå i kirke igen, eller at han opgav sin tro. frem to måneder, jeg er her fortryder så meget for at give slip på en vidunderlig mand. Jeg var for fanget af det kærlige liv, at jeg simpelthen forsømte gud. Jeg føler, at dette var et ultimatum for mig. han gik allerede videre og fandt en anden, der er i kirken. vi sluttede i meget gode vilkår, og jeg er ikke sur over for det forhold, vi havde. men jeg græder hver dag og tænker på, hvad vi havde. det var virkelig enestående, og jeg fortryder konstant at skubbe ham væk, selvom han fortsatte med at prøve i de 8 måneder. det er usædvanligt at finde ud af, at vores forhold sluttede simpelthen på grund af religiøse forskelle. Jeg spekulerer stadig på, hvad hvis vi ser hinanden igen. kun tiden vil vise, om vores kærlighed sejrede efter alt, hvad der er sket. 23. oktober 2016, 9:47 am saftig jeg har været forelsket i min 1. kærlighed i mere end 30 år .. vi brød op på grund af at han snydede på mig 3 uger inden jeg flyttede til hans college med en kvinde, at han havde mig venner ... vi fortsatte med vores liv, jeg blev gift, og så på det tidspunkt ... mødte jeg sin nye kæreste under en genforening mellem vores venner .... senere mødte vi ansigt til ansigt, og hun kunne sandsynligvis fortælle, at der var følelse der ... hun fik ham til at træffe beslutningen om ikke længere at tale med mig eller være min ven for livet ... som vi lovede, da vi begge mistede vores jomfruelighed over for hinanden .... 6 år senere vi genforbundet og han undskyldte, og jeg accepterede ham tilbage i mit liv ... min mand og jeg havde problemer, så det var sejt at have min bedste ven tilbage i mit liv .... i 2010 besluttede jeg mig, at jeg var træt af ikke at være sammen med ham og igen begyndte at lave planer om at flytte ... men jeg begyndte at få mange personlige idéer, og jeg besluttede at blive hos min mand, og min første kærlighed og jeg fik ikke ting fortsatte ... .Jeg blev liggende og et år senere havde han en forfærdelig ulykke, og en anden kvinde hjalp ham med at komme sig..men vi fortsatte med at være venner. godt mit ægteskab var på stenede grunde igen, og vi planlagde at se hinanden den samme dag i måneden, hvor vi mistede vores vigilitet over for hinanden for 29 år siden .... at tage en beslutning..på os fremad ... vi har set hinanden, og vi tog beslutningen om at være venner for livet .... unødvendigt at sige, at vi virkelig ikke er kompatible, og jeg er ikke forelsket i ham, som jeg troede ... vi boede på det samme hotelværelse uden at være seksuelle ... han ville, men Jeg fortalte ham, at jeg elskede min mand og ønskede at komme ind i mit ægteskab, og fortalte ham, at jeg ikke kunne være hans ven lige nu ... måske med tiden, men jeg er nødt til at gendanne igen til min mand ... men vi vil vær stadig venner ... bare ikke nu. han blev oprørt og følte, at jeg stillede ham et ultimatum ... og blev sur og forlod rummet ... vel vidende, at jeg ikke havde transport til at gå nogen steder. vi så hinanden senere samme dag og havde drikkevarer ... men jeg var klar til at gå hjem til min mand og gav ikke noget for ham …… så nu er han sur og fungerer som en røv og nægter at tale med mig ... så Jeg sendte ham en sms i morges ... hvor jeg fortalte ham, hvor skuffet jeg er over hans opførsel, når jeg har været forelsket i ham i alle disse år og fortalte ham, at han skulle have et godt liv ... men jeg er færdig ... jeg slettede alt med ham ... rev op billeder, efterladt vigtige af vores fortid på det hotelværelse ... blokerede hans nummer og fokuserede på mit liv ... .. nu er mit spørgsmål forkert ... eller skal jeg bare holde det i bevægelse og ikke være bekymret for at holde vores løfte ... min mor og bedste ven fra gymnasiet ... der kendte vores kærlighed til hinanden meget godt ... rådede mig til at give ham tid til at komme over det skuffende besøg..og sagde, at vi bliver venner igen ... men jeg er ikke sikker på, at jeg vil ... jeg har været den konstante kamp i sit liv i 30+ ja… .. hjælp venligst… 27. april 2016, 22.43 belle ærligt, denne artikel er rea lly deprimerende, især for mennesker, der er knust i hjertet. sandsynligvis ikke den bedste artikel at markedsføre over for mennesker, der er knust i hjertet, hvis du vil have dem til at føle sig bedre ... 5. april 2016, 23:54 fru ..... Jeg har læst disse typer artikler i løbet af de sidste par måneder (fantastisk her, btw) af en specifik grund, som jeg snart vil forklare. Jeg vil ikke lyde nedslående, men jeg er her for at fortælle dig, at du måske aldrig kommer over din første kærlighed, især hvis det var en ægte kærlighed. Jeg er meget ældre end de fleste af jer, og her er min historie. min første kærlighed & jeg mødtes på college og var meget forelsket, dating hele college - brød op efter 5 år sammen, jeg var knust, han var også på sin egen måde. men for mig kunne jeg ikke spise, sove, kunne næppe fungere. vi begge flyttede til sidst og jeg blev gift med en anden (været gift i mere end 20 år), han giftede sig og skilt sig to gange, han har aldrig boet i USA igen efter vi brød op. Jeg fandt ud af det for 2 måneder siden, at han pludselig var død, og jeg er blevet ødelagt igen. Jeg har lyst til, at vi faktisk aldrig sagde farvel - vi var stadig i kontakt fra og til, indtil jeg blev gift, og han holdt tæt kontakt med min familie indtil det tidspunkt, hvor jeg blev gift. Jeg har græd / hulket hver eneste dag, siden jeg hørte nyheden om hans bortgang, det har været forfærdeligt - ville ikke ønske nogen denne smerte og hjertesorg. det er forbløffende for mig, at jeg stadig føler mig så stærk alle disse år senere, disse følelser er blevet begravet så dybt i så længe. Jeg har mange beklager og meget skyld. Jeg har været i sorgrådgivning og jeg beder hver dag om fred og forståelse. Jeg ville give noget for at have en sidste samtale med ham, men det sker ikke, før jeg ser ham igen i himlen. Jeg er så meget sønderknust og trist. mit råd er, at hvis du føler, at du har noget usagt ... ..sige det! Gud velsigne, & mit hjerte går virkelig ud til hver af jer, der har at gøre med hjertesorg. følelsesmæssig smerte kan være utrolig overvældende. 13. marts 2016, 10:13 pm taylor Jeg gik et år og følte intet efter vores opbrud, og nu er det næsten to år, jeg er gift og jeg er har disse tilfældige udbrud og nedbryder, som jeg ikke kan kontrollere. min følelse er bare så såret, og jeg kan ikke forklare eller fortælle nogen sandfærdigt hvorfor .. mit hjerte gør så ondt, og der er ingen kur. ville ønske jeg kunne kramme dig, tak for håbet 22. februar 2016, 7:21 am mario mcgee fantastisk artikel, det er det virkelig. 28. december 2015, 00:11 cindy min første kærlighed, vi var sammen i fem år blev forlovet, men det hele sluttede for 10 år siden, nu er han tilbage og ønsker at komme ud af hans helvede af et ægteskab, men for mig at se ham efter alle disse år fik mig nervøs til at se ham igen for første gang, det var normalt, og han var den samme dejlige i dit ansigt og stak dig i ryggen. Jeg troede aldrig, jeg kunne have været så clam over vores opbrud, da det skete, blev jeg såret ud over og jeg hadede ham i et par år, jeg plejede altid at ringe til ham og snakke ham ud, men efter et stykke tid indså jeg, at jeg måtte komme videre som jeg gjorde. vi mødtes sammen med gamle venner og hænger ud, men for mig var det ikke det samme, han krammede mig, men jeg kunne ikke huske det føltes som at kramme ham, men husk min lugt, hvordan mit hår lugtede og spurgte endda, om jeg stadig brugte det samme .produkt . hurtigt frem mod nu vil han have, at vi skal ordne tingene, men jeg kan ikke virkelig beslutte mig, det er som at glemme vores fortid og huske vores historie, men vores fortid er vores historie, og jeg vil ikke gentage det, det tog mig lang tid tid til at komme over ham, og det gjorde jeg nu, jeg vil bare forblive venner. 20. december 2015, kl. 09:10 tequan berenice, jeg er ikke fortrolig med den evige gentagelses donritce. det ser ud til, at det ville være noget at undgå, hvis man fratrådte sig for evig gentagelse. derfor kan jeg ikke se nogen grund til, at det ville blive omfavnet. (selvfølgelig antager jeg, at de fleste religioner og filosofiske donorer normalt omfavnes for håb snarere end fortvivlelse.) (selvfølgelig antager jeg også, at evig eksurrence ville være evigt kedelig.) Jeg ser snarere på dette digt og følelse som skrevet af en, der er alt andet end kedelig og ikke ville overholde det i sig selv. hun har levet tidligere liv. det tror jeg eller vælger at. (jeg kender naturligvis ikke hende, og du kender sandsynligvis hende. du har fordelen over mig; men jeg er ikke desto mindre tilfreds med dette stykke poesi!). Jeg vil også slå op på din egen, kære dame. Nu skal jeg trække min bohemske røv til gården. der er omkring fire hundrede hektar mere majs, der skal beskæres (GMO-ting. Mine fætre og jeg har lovet at plante mindst hundrede hektar ikke-GMO næste år til certificeret formaling til konsum. Jeg tror, ​​der er et markedskrav!) 14. december 2015, 09:36 natalie hej! Jeg ved ikke, om folk stadig bruger dette websted til rent faktisk at søge efter opdelingsråd, men hvis du læser dette, antager jeg, at du gennemgår en hjertestop. du har mistet den ene person, som du troede betød mest for dig, og det giver dig virkelig en slags smerte, at du føler, at nogen har stukket dig med en kniv i dit hjerte, og intet vil helbrede det. Jeg er 15 og ja jeg ved hvad du synes ... 'hun er for ung til at være forelsket' og alt det lort, men jeg havde en kæreste ved navn sam, som jeg troede verden af, han behandlede mig som en prinsesse, sagde konstant han elskede mig, ville altid være omkring mig, og det var den bedste følelse i verden, men vi var sammen med hinanden i et år og to måneder, og jeg ved, det er intet i forhold til mennesker, der er gift i 20-30 år, men jeg ærligt ærede sam han betød mere end noget for mig, men mod slutningen af ​​forholdet begyndte tingene at ændre sig .. vi blev så kede af hinanden og gav op. Jeg var så sønderknust af at have mistet ham, jeg græd på min mødres skulder i dage og dage, indtil der ikke længere kunne komme tårer ud af mine øjne! Jeg kunne ikke komme over ham, og det var sværere for mig, end det var for ham .. hvilket fik mig til at føle mig så værdiløs og forfærdelig, jeg smsede konstant til ham og bad om ham tilbage, men det var den forkerte ting at gøre, men på det tidspunkt du har lyst til at du skal gøre det, men det gør du ikke. at se ham sende til instagram / snapchat / facebook var så hjerteskærende, vel vidende at han havde det godt uden mig, gjorde mig virkelig ondt. så jeg slettede ham fra alt, slettede alle billederne og slap af med alle gaverne! og den dag i dag er han ikke længere en del af mit liv, men han viste mig virkelig oplevelser, som jeg er glad for, at jeg fik at gøre med ham. Jeg er nu over ham, og det eneste sted, han eksisterer nu, er min hukommelse! hvis du kommer over en pause, skal du huske, at du er mere værd, og at det vil være der tab, ikke dit! 3. oktober 2015, 20:06 mahak shauna, jeg elsker virkelig din historie. alt det bedste forude! :) 1. oktober 2015, 10:27 shell tak, fordi du sendte dette. Jeg kan ikke forklare, hvor nyttigt det var, og hvor meget trøst jeg tog i det. Jeg daterede min første kærlighed fra 18 - 24. troede helt sikkert, at han var det for mig. vi gav mange mange løfter til hinanden. han var på medskole i det meste af vores forhold, så det var ekstremt ujævnt. Jeg gav - han tog. alt udviklede sig omkring hans liv og hans tidsplan, som jeg forstod lidt siden medschool prøver, men så begyndte jeg at lægge mærke til, hvor ujævn vi blev. Mod slutningen af ​​forholdet fandt jeg ud af, at han havde snydt mig med en ven af ​​mig på en fest foran alle mine venner og hans. så opdagede jeg, at der var langt mere snyd, der fortsatte. Jeg var forfærdet, sønderknust, vred og på det tidspunkt lettet. Jeg var udmattet af konstant at give, det føltes godt at fokusere på mig en gangs skyld. Jeg begyndte at rejse meget, kom meget i fitness og mødte en fantastisk mand, der nu er min forlovede. Jeg begyndte ikke sorgprocessen før to år senere (da jeg vidste, at det virkelig var forbi, og han blev flyttet videre). det tog mig yderligere halvandet år at føle mig okay igen, og den dag i dag undrer jeg mig stadig nogle gange, og jeg aner ikke hvorfor. Jeg ved, jeg er en langt bedre og stærkere kvinde, end jeg nogensinde ville have været, hvis jeg havde været i det giftige forhold. Jeg tror, ​​det var derfor, det tog mig så lang tid at sørge, noget inde i mig vidste, at det var usundt, så jeg ventede på at føle, indtil jeg vidste, at han ikke ville prøve at få mig tilbage længere. en underlig proces, men jeg formoder, at jeg normalt gør tingene lidt anderledes. 5. september 2015, 07:52 derrick johnson Jeg er en 17-årig mand, der er ved at komme sig efter et opbrud fra min første kærlighed. det var fire måneder, men på det tidspunkt elskede jeg hende så meget. vi havde så meget til fælles, og hun var sød og smart. for ikke at nævne smukke. Jeg ville gerne gå så langt med hende. men hun havde brug for at finde ud af sit liv, og det kunne hun ikke gøre med mig. så hun lod mig gå for at finde sig selv. det er gået to dage siden da. på dagen for bruddet døde jeg fyr. Jeg skammer mig ikke for at sige, at jeg græd mere end én gang. smerten er forsvundet, men mine tanker om hende fortsætter med at gnave i mit svage hjerte. men efter at have læst dette var jeg i stand til at finde trøst ved at vide, at andre har været, hvor jeg er, og at jeg måske finder kærligheden igen. en dag måske. mange tak. 21. juli 2015, 22:07 nåde jeg har brug for hjælp. har brug for rådgivning. For 2 uger siden lærer jeg at vide, at min tidligere kæreste, min første kærlighed, har foreslået sin nuværende kæreste. vi har afsluttet vores forhold for 6 år siden. dog brast jeg bare af at rive efter at have vidst det. i disse 2 uger har jeg tåret uden at vide det og drømt om fortiden. Jeg føler mig så beklagelig og bange. bange for, at jeg lige har mistet nogen, der er beregnet til mig. grunden til, at jeg slog op med ham, er fordi vi har været meget skræmmende, men ikke involveret samleje med det. Jeg har en frygt for samleje, men jeg gaber efter mere. Jeg syntes, det var underligt at tænke sådan, da ikke en af ​​mine venner taler om dette. Jeg var bange for, at jeg er den, der har problemer. men nu ved jeg, det er fordi jeg elsker ham, som jeg gaber for mere. at være i en traditionel stor familie, det er meget svært at have et forhold også. ikke kun det, da jeg er det 3. barn, arbejder jeg meget hårdt for at lade mine forældre anerkende og anerkende min tilstedeværelse. Jeg var ikke i staten for ikke at vise mere kærlighed og tid til mine forældre, så jeg føler kærlighed. forældrenes kærlighed er virkelig noget andet, og da jeg var sammen med min eks, blev min kærlighed til min familie spørgsmålstegn ved. Jeg var så bange for at miste min familiekærlighed. så til sidst vælger jeg min familie. dog er der gået 6 år. mine søskende er alle gift, og mine forældre har travlt med deres barnebarn. jeg var alene igen. forsøger mit bedste for at hjælpe i min familie, men indser, at jeg også har mistet nogen, som jeg skal sætte pris på. For 3 år siden, da jeg kom ind i en meget alvorlig ulykke, er den første ting, jeg vil finde, min eks. dog var jeg bare for bange for at finde ham. Jeg er den, der ønsker opløsningen. et år senere, da jeg endelig kommer over depressionens ulykke, er han knyttet. tænkte jeg for mig selv, hvis der er nogen chance for os at mødes, vil jeg gå til ham. men nu, har han foreslået, har han slettet vores minder. han er gået videre. måske er jeg egoistisk, at han vil huske mig. for mig er timingen for os at være sammen bare forkert. hvis vi kun begynder at tale senere. hvis vi kun kender hinanden senere, kan tingene have anderledes. dette bliver ved med at dukke op i mit hoved. Jeg ved, jeg elsker ham. indtil nu. mit hjerte gør ondt i ny og næ. nogen fortæl mig hvordan jeg overvinder dette. Jeg kan ikke tage det længere. Jeg er så bange for mig selv, beklager jeg. Jeg håber at få ham alt det bedste, men dybt nede ved jeg, at jeg vil have ham. 18. juni 2015, 00:05 saftig nåde ... jeg sympatiserer med dig .... men søde gør alt hvad du kan for at komme over ham .... fordi kærligheden, hvis mit liv i mere end 30 år…. bare gjorde det ultimative for mig .... jeg har været der .... og når jeg beder ham om at lade mig have tid til at komme over ham ... han vælter helvede ud på mig, og jeg har besluttet, uanset hvor meget jeg elsker ham ... jeg elsker mig mere .. 28. april 2016, 20:11 keara min første kærlighed brød op med mig for omkring tre måneder siden, vi var sammen næsten to år. han ville have nogen anden. han var min bedste ven. han brød lige op med mig ud af det blå. det føltes som om mit hjerte var blevet revet ud af brystet. Jeg har stadig ikke givet slip, fordi jeg troede, han gik på grund af mig. Jeg arbejder nu mod helbredelse. Jeg troede aldrig, dette ville være mig, virkelig tror ingen det, men det kan ske. det er svært at tænke på, og der er altid meget gråd, men jeg kommer langsomt over det og lærer at give slip. Jeg troede, at dette betød, at jeg aldrig ville elske igen, fordi den kærlighed, jeg havde til ham, var så stærk. Jeg tæller mig dog ikke ud endnu. du skal være stærk. 11. april 2015, 15:19 elle vi brød op for et par dage siden. min første kærligheds navn var jonathan, jeg var 17. vi datede i et år, og jeg ved, at det ikke ser ud som meget, men det var nok for os at blive forelsket i hinanden. vi mistede vores jomfruelighed til hinanden og talte om ægteskab og fremtiden. vi var forelskede. så ændrede ting sig, problemer startede og pludselig blev vi dette par, der var jaloux hele tiden. vi kæmpede konstant, hvilket resulterede i, at vi brød sammen, men med tiden ville vi komme sammen igen. Jeg har altid troet, at jeg aldrig ville være i stand til at elske igen, at han var den ene, og det var slutningen på den historie. Jeg ved ikke, hvad jeg skal tro, det gør ondt, jeg er bange, og jeg ved, jeg vil savne ham. men jeg vil prøve at komme igennem dette rigtigt denne gang uden at gå tilbage til den samme smertefulde cyklus med at bryde op og komme sammen igen. tak for at dele din historie, jer alle sammen. det er rart at vide, at jeg ikke er alene om dette, og at livet fortsætter. jeg ønsker dig alt det bedste. elle 7. december 2014, 21:48 maria mig og min kæreste brød op for mindre end en uge siden ... han var min første alt. jeg troede, jeg ville være sammen med ham for evigt; som han sagde, at han ville have mig til at være hans kone og mor til sine børn. vi havde været sammen i næsten 3 år. disse år var imidlertid vanskelige. vi havde mange opsving; men også mange nedture. han gør ondt med mig, og jeg blev ved med at lade mig selv komme til skade. en del af det var fordi jeg var forelsket i ham, men den anden del var fordi jeg var bange for at miste ham og være alene. Jeg havde valgt at snarere gennemgå den smerte, han fik mig igennem de 3 år end at være alene og søge min egen lykke. sidste gang han sårede mig igen, sagde han, at han havde brug for tid for sig selv, for at være alene, for at ordne sig selv, så han kunne være bedre for mig. jeg gjorde, jeg gav ham tid, selvom jeg bad ham om at være sammen med mig. Jeg fortalte ham, at vi kunne rette vores fejl sammen og med Guds hjælp, men han havde valgt ikke at gøre det. Der gik 3 uger, og jeg blev såret ved at dø indeni, jeg smsede ham, jeg savnede ham. og gennem en tekst brød han mit hjerte. han brød 3 år af mit liv ... jeg troede aldrig, at han ville bryde op med mig og fortælle mig, at han ikke ville holde mit håb længere, fordi han ikke så en lykkelig fremtid med mig ... alt dette gennem en sms .. efter at jeg gav ham mig alle .. sådan betalte han mig. Jeg besluttede at slette alle de billeder, meddelelser og ting, vi delte sammen. Jeg afbrød ham fra alle mine sociale medier, og mit mål er at glemme ham og alle de minder, vi delte. Jeg håber det tager ikke lang tid, og min lidelse forsvinder ligesom han forsvandt 3 år af mit liv gennem en sms. 2. december 2014, 15:45 ana wow, det er den samme nøjagtige situation, som jeg gennemgår i øjeblikket. hvordan er det for dig? er du over ham endnu? Jeg bad ham om at blive, men han siger, at det er bedre, hvis han går, så han ikke gør mig mere ondt. Jeg spekulerer bare på, hvordan det fungerede for dig, for lige nu ser det ud til, at min verden slutter 9. marts 2015, 15:04 rean omg dette sammen skete med mig. Jeg var sammen med ham i fri år, og vi brød op for 2 måneder siden, han sagde, at han bare vil være single, og at han bare ikke elsker mig mere. det føltes som om hele min verden var slut. han var min første kærlighed min første alt. Jeg er stadig i mit restitutionsstadie, jeg savner ham så meget, men jeg føler mig meget bedre nu end for to måneder siden. det er bare noget, jeg skal acceptere, fordi jeg ved, at vi aldrig kommer sammen igen. det føles dog underligt, fordi jeg ikke kan se mig selv elske eller være komfortabel med nogen anden, jeg ved, det er tidlige dage, og det tager tid, men jeg elskede min kæreste af hele mit hjerte, jeg troede, vi ville være sammen for evigt, og så rev han mit hjerte til strimler. Jeg har lidt en rebound fyr, men det hjælper mig ikke rigtig. for hvis vi stopper med at tale for eksempel, så husker jeg bare min ex boyfriboyfriend, så nu har jeg bare besluttet at helbrede alene. Jeg leder ikke efter et andet forhold, da jeg bestemt ikke er klar til det endnu. forhåbentlig inden næste år vil jeg være et andet sted og føle mig stærkere end nogensinde og aldrig engang have den punk i mine tanker! 4. maj 2015, 02.33 alli mit første elskede navn var ben. vi mødte mit førsteårsskoleår. han var et år ældre end mig. han var populær og atletisk. alt hvad jeg ikke var. han opbyggede min selvtillid. vi datede i to år. vi hang hver weekend i to år i træk. vi sendte en sms i to år. vi mistede vores jomfruelighed over for hinanden. men han brød bare op med mig. og denne gang kommer han aldrig tilbage. han sagde, det var fordi han ikke følte det mere. og han er heldig. heldig at han ikke behøver at gennemgå den smerte, jeg gør. Jeg savner ham hver dag. og jeg vil bare vide, hvornår jeg bliver glad igen 27. november 2014, 21:43 aj fra en hjertesnedet mand ...… .. fyres oplevelse det samme interval af følelser fra hjertesorg for et mislykket forhold ... ”forholdet” ... med kvinden, der bare tager sex til virkelig at elske, den der får dig til at føle, at du går i luften ...… for mig er det det er næsten to år siden hun sluttede det med mig… ..helbreder jeg stadig… Jeg har dateret på reboundet, det helbredte mig ikke, jeg har afsluttet meget langvarige venskaber, fordi disse venner blev trætte af min synd parti, jeg afslutter endda 100.000 job, fordi jeg absolut ikke var fokuseret .... jeg gik bogstaveligt talt væk fra livet ... .jeg er en 49 år gammel mand, der var involveret i et 5-årigt forhold til den mest fantastiske og fysisk attraktive kvinde på planeten ... alt overfladisk ... der var intet stof bag hendes skønhed, bare en masse smerter, jeg troede, jeg kunne ordne hende, klare stormen, og vi ville blive gamle sammen ... ikke CA se ... ..Jeg har endelig accepteret, at jeg har brug for at helbrede, gå videre, evaluere mig selv og stole på, at Gud vil gendanne mig ... min erfaring har været den sværeste oplevelse, jeg nogensinde har haft ... jeg får bare modet at vide, at jeg skal helbrede indeni, før jeg bringer nogen anden ind i min cirkel …… jeg spekulerer på, om det stadig bare er absolut kærlighed til den, der knuste mit hjerte, eller det faktum, at jeg ikke har mødt en anden kvinde, der holder min opmærksomhed og stimulerer mig intellektuelt fysisk åndeligt… hvor der er den gensidige kemi, der ville medføre en ændring af fokus ………. 20. oktober 2014, 10:27 rebecca tak gud for denne historie og alle dine virkelig ... Jeg har flippin googlet om dette kun for opmuntring ... 10 år senere. vi mødtes officielt efter gymnasiet. gjorde hele college sammen. min første kærlighed ... min bedste ven ... min alt. min første kærlighed. brød op efter 5 år. kom sammen sidste sommer efter 4 års mellemrum. han siger, at han ikke kan give mig, hvad jeg fortjener. han elsker mig, men er ikke 'forelsket' i mig. nogle gange prøver jeg at overbevise mig selv om, at han er homoseksuel, så jeg føler mig bedre. jeg kan ikke lade være med at bo. at sammenligne hver eneste fyr, jeg endda har en samtale med. Jeg er så kærlig. så giver. Jeg kan bare ikke synes at lade min vagt svigte igen ... Jeg tror, ​​jeg er mest bange for at forsøge at tvinge mig selv til ikke at have følelser bundet til en sådan vital og hvad der var en vidunderlig del af mit liv. Jeg ønsker ikke at glemme eller ønsker at have dårlige følelser mod den tid ... men at tænke på det er som en påmindelse, der er frisk igen ... 10 år senere .... tak alle sammen for at være så åben 8. august 2013, 19:24 zee at læse dette minder mig om min situation. vi var sammen i 10 år og 9 måneder. begge succesrige med fremragende job og karriere, købte en lejlighed sammen efter dating i over 8 år. blev forlovet, og jeg troede, vi var glade sammen, indtil jeg indså, at min eks var ekstremt utilfreds i forholdet, så vi kaldte det afsluttet !! faktisk skiftede jeg kontinent for at være væk fra ham, og jeg kæmper stadig de fleste dage. however, i can most certainly say that it gets better every day and time is the greatest healer. its been 16 months since the separation, i haven’t been on any dates. i’m just trying the enjoy being on my own and being happy. i wish all the broken hearted people here a speedy recovery and pray that they find love. may 29, 2013, 5:50 am val i really enjoyed your post. my story is extremely similar and i just want you to know that i really appreciate your words. it gives me hope that i will love again.. it is year two for me. february 22, 2013, 12:50 am leanne i’m just out of a year and a half relationship :( i met my boyfriend is spain (we are from scotland) when i was 15 and i genuinely thought we would be together forever. he was my first love and we lost our virginity and everything to one another.he ended it a month ago and i still can’t stop myself thinking about him! he ended it cause we werent moving forward as he couldn’t stay over.. and because i put school i’m front of him. he left school when he was 15 to go to college so he doesn’t understand how stressful school was and now he does nothing so of course he had time to put me first. he argued about everything but i still loved him and so never wanted to leave. he wanted to get engaged when i turned 17 and didnt want me going to uni so i could have children.. i didnt want that. i had to delete him off facebook when i found out he was seeing someone else as it killed me but he took it bad. a few days ago he text me even a fter him telling me he deleted my number and blamed everything on me saying i put in no effort it was all him and there’s nothing wrong with him wanting to be in another relationship with someone who actually moves forward.. then after the abuse he said hopes he never sees or hears from me again :( how can someone who loved you so much and wanted everything with you now hate you so much :( february 16, 2013, 4:50 am elyse my first love was when i was 21 with my best friend that i worked with. we were totally in sync, which i’ve never experienced that with anyone, not even my current friends. he recently broke up with me 4 days ago over the phone, saying that he wanted to be single again. we were together for 3 years and known each other for 4 years. i was completely devastated, shocked and couldn’t control my emotions. why over the phone? i ask. he said he couldn’t look at my beautiful brown eyes and say that to my face but he kept saying that i was an amazing girlfriend, a wonderful lover and that i deserve better. i immediately hung up on him the first time, then called back asking him to meet me so he can say it to my face. he agreed but followed later with a text to call him back. i called back, a bit calmer than i was before and he gave me a more concrete answer. he wasn’t ready for a commitment. i asked if he was no longer in love with me or if he meet someone else. neither one, he proclaimed. this made me more confused than ever but i let it slide. he proposed the idea of still being friends but i had to think about it. i never realized how quick i was able to dust myself off and think positive. i cried for 2 1/2 days straight, to the point where my eyes were so puffy i couldn’t keep them open and only slept for an hour the night he called. everyone handles this completely differently. some take years or months. mine took about 4 days. i did call him back to say i would like to stay friends; however, for him, it will take much longer for him to calm down and jump into a friendship. february 11, 2013, 5:51 pm neha this blog is for all of you who love to be in love. stefanie ellis, the creator of this blog, posts real love stories of others. some are funny, some are inspirational, and some are just cute. thanks for share this post. january 18, 2013, 4:31 am please read not to be a hoe i had sex with another guy to try to see if i could get over this and it didint help :((( november 14, 2012, 10:36 am brenda renkema i think a lot of this getting over someone stuff anymore is not really as hard as we make it, i say this becasue i really for the first time cared for someone deeply that i could not be with, held on for years.. then with enough pain had to leave, and it so far as been everyday just more and more happiness for getting myself a new life instead of waiting for him to return anything. but then in my past i would get torn for months on end.. and looking back none of them i loved or even liked but back then thought they had something to offer becasue they said this or said that, you know pounded future fantasies in my head. i think what happened is i have been alone for so long that without even realizing it i had transformed into a new more self-reliant p erson, and rejection hurts like hell especially when you genuinly care for someones soul. but it is that same careing that made it easy this time, i cared enough about him in the end to care about myself, and he wasn’t any innocent angel, but he was my angel freind for a long time and was always kind even when he was not into me, he was kind in his manners, i do not think he just set out to ruin me. so i am taking the best of what i had of him with me, and i was not as nice as i could have been, my past got in the way of being happier than i could have been – many things actually stood in our way of ever meeting and becomming something solid. but the longing and pains where sucking my energy for years, to where the investment was no longer a healthy thing to put into him, so it was for both of our best interest for me to move on, and i think that is always the case and how you need to see it.. it is for both of you, your feelings can change into optimismn if you let it happen, cry when you need to, but being “miserable” is not actually proof of any love .. happiness and survival is. and if he misses you suddenly when your happy nad have moved on.. let him work to proove to you it’s going to really last and that it is not just a game of getting you back, men are famous for that, you need proof by action and action is more than words could ever you give when it comes to a man, they will surely act when they know your the one. nomatter how much love you think you have, your love alone is not enough, it has to be strong for him as well, you do not want a partnership where you need to question anyone’s motives, you need to know it’s because he really loves you and made the choice to do that on his own, and when he is ready. that is the most loving thing you can give a man, his desire to have you or even another if it needs to be another person for him, and for you – he should want you to have the best if from another if he cannot give it to you and let you go, not expect to have you waiting around in some agony, that is actually exteamly selfish and cruel, but some guys will take you there no problem, those are the one’s that cannot love anyhow, so why bother? your time is what you have, men they make typically the descision to propose, so use your time wisely – do not let anyone suck it away with games, nobody is worth that. october 28, 2012, 12:51 am haydn thank you so much for posting this. it’s been over a year since i left my first love. he never loved me, only used me. i gave him everything and got scraps as return. the relationship with my parents and sister disintegrated to such a point while we were together i honestly began to think that without him, i’d be nothing anyway as the bond between my family and i was so irreparably damaged. well, i’m glad to say i was wrong. he’d been cheating on another girl the whole time with me, and i was too stupid to realise, or rather too stupid to believe it. i’d gone through the whole rebound thing, self-hating, anything under the sun you-name-it, i did it. i thought i’d never get over him. every other relationship i’d had since had been imperfect, no one had been able to live up to his standards. in every way, i felt he was the one for me and if only fate had been kind…we would still be together. now, in hindsight, i was wrong. and i cannot be happier that he isn’t mine. seeing what he did to his girl with me makes me feel slightly sick. to think she was unaware the whole time, and that she surely loved him far more than i, they had been together for a year when he met me. i went non-contact in february this year and have been relatively sane since. i’m getting better and realised since i’m still a teenager, i have a long way to go and far more people to meet. better people. thankyou so much for this article. it did help. (: october 1, 2012, 10:02 pm cakey it’s funny. when i was with my ex(my first true love that i dated about 6 years)… i thought it was the most wonderful thing anyone could ever have created. i thought our love was special, deeper than a large majority of anyone else’s. our love was from storybooks and fairytales and we would be together forever. i thought i was one of the lucky few that had find my first love and would stay with my first love. i lost my virginity to him and we both shaped each other to be what we are today. but really…. the only thing that stuck us together was this weird obligation of a fantasy that we were meant for each other on a subatomic level. i thought that breaking up with him would be a crime… a sad crime against the purest love ever found. i thought that if i broke up i would never find someone just right… just like he was. we fought constantly. i always wanted to break up. tried… and each time he’d cry or i’d feel bad and in the e nd, despite all the bad we overcame it. oh the worst part was that it was long distance. visited each other twice a year. then i broke up with him last year in the beginning of fall. he didn’t argue. and i knew by then that he was cheating on me emotionally with someone. it still burned a lot. i felt betrayed because he couldn’t just have been honest and broken up with me instead.. or at least be honest about his feelings. he had let me do all the dirty work. and i was still not over the notion that i would never find anyone like this. it was a rough 4-6 months. cried daily. thought about suicide. isolated myself. then as time went by… feelings just dissipated. im not even aware of when or how exactly it happened. but 6 months after the relationship i could say that i was fully recovered and over him. i could barely even remember the good or bad times. he was just air to me. i didn’t feel sorrow, jealousy, happiness or anything regarding him. maybe just annoyance at his personality(i’d always found him annoying). but yea… when this epiphany hit me, i just couldnt believe i’d actually wasted 6 years on him. i gather that we should have broken up 3 years in. which would still have been pretty decent for most relationships. it became apparent to me that i’d never loved him for who he was, rather i loved the idea of what we could be together. and i’d lost myself in him. i’d seen myself as an extension of him rather than my own person. i think that in the end, what really broke my heart was not letting him go. it was realizing just how much of myself i’d invested and sacrificed into the relationship. but im really proud of myself. i never needed a rebound either. in fact, i enjoyed being alone. the thought of being with others while i was still heartbroken just didn’t appeal to me(though i did flirt a bit left and right). 6 months for 6 years, i gather, is an incredible little amount of time.. i thought i would be heartbroken for years. yet now i just don’t get why i wept in the first place. then….. i got involved in an even weirder relationship x_x after those 6 months. i started liking this guy that i’d been talking to online. the stupid thing is he lives even further away(on the other side of the world in nz), and he’s almost twice my age. but i think that it’s safe to say that i love him. i know people say that you cant know for sure till you met, which is true… but how do i know he’s special? there’s not one thing i tried to change about him yet. i wouldn’t change him for the world. i mean he’s not perfect. im sure we will have little bumps on the road. but in general he just…. does everything right. without even trying. so i guess… while my first love i thought was perfect… this second love might very well be. but i am also less clingy now and more easygoing. i am not needy or dramatic. and i can just be happy and light. i made a ton of mistakes in my first relationship, but they taught me so many things, and i feel really happy that my first try was ‘wasted’ on my ex. i see now that i would have collected overall less happiness in my life had i stayed with him. im so happy we broke up. and im so happy i can be who i always wanted to be in my new relationship. now i just wonder if it will last :) august 26, 2012, 2:12 pm amy wow….its so amazing to here such encouraging messages from everyone and know that i am not going through this horrible experience alone. and what i’m feeling isn’t wrong. i was with my boyfriend for 5 years however the first two years were very off and on because he wasn’t really mature enough. however three and a bit years ago we made it ‘official’ (even though everyone already knew)! we started this amazing journey together and went through two deaths within our families which we were able to support each other through. i also nearly lost my mum in a car crash and he was there all the time. we went through so much and then about a year and a half ago his friends decided to really turn on me(for literally no reason- i still do not understand it) and they wanted him to choose who he wanted but i only ever cared about how he felt so i walked away….he realised extremely quickly that the fact i hadnt made him choose showed i really cared about him. so we carried on together and we were amazing, went on holidays, created some lovely memories and then recently his friends started to cause an issue again however this time he accused me of lying and decided to go off with his friends. it was the hardest thing because they dont care about him-he’s a trophy to them and they want to win over me. but he never could and still cant give a honest reason as 2 why it ended although i ended it in an argument about his friends but we have always made them threats but they have never actually been acted upon however this time he did. he decided to do this just before an exam that i had which was so selfish and i dont think i will ever forgive him for that. however, he since has text me at 1 or 2am telling me how much he misses me and loves me but he doesnt text throughout the day. i’m hurting so much because i gave up so much for him, he became part of the family and i did with his. i look back on all the things that he didnt do such as stick up for me when i needed him the most and it hurts so much. i thought he was the one- i thought we were going to the highschool sweethearts that end up together but it didnt and i’m struggling to cope with that. the past year i have been really unwell and i lost a lot of my ‘friends’ because i wasnt able to go out and do stuff so i dont even have them to rely on. i had been hurt before by family members and he knew all this n promised never 2 leave or stop loving me. another thing he said to me was that he is doing this for ‘us’ because if we continue at the rate we are going we will never be in each others lives again but he feels if we both do our own thing but remain friends!!!! then maybe one day we will be together again but i have assured him that there is no place for him in my life anymore because he walked away when i needed him the most. i have to see him everyday because we work in the same place and its so hard seeing him with the people that he thinks are good for him- the ones that want him to get pissed(he hates alochol)!i miss him so much and its been two weeks. i want it to get easier and for the first time today i am beginning to become more positive about what my future includes and he also said that he doesnt know what he wants to do with his life whereas i do know and he says he didnt want to hold me back so he let me go. i just wish he would realise the pain he has put me through and for someone who loves me- he has hurt me so badly. has anyone got any tips as 2 how i can help make this process a lot easier because i really am struggling ! thanks june 14, 2012, 2:41 pm trisha renee i read shauna’s story, and even read all the comments. and i can’t explain how much i am thankful that there are others like me, who just can’t seem to let it go. i know with time (lots and lots and lotsss of time) i will be able to get over him one day. but right now, it just seems impossible. we met three and a half years ago. he literally swept me off my feet, but it wasn’t until six months down the road that i fell completely in love with him, because we had become best friends. throughout the 3 years that we dated, we pretty much went through what a marriage would go through… or maybe it just feels that way. when i had first met him, he was on meth. i was the one to get him off of the drugs, because i was the only one who cared enough to. he’s been clean since. i was there for him through detox, i was there to bail him out of jail (he has a lot of issues in his life), i was there through everything for him… and same for me. he was there when i experienced personal bad family issues, or was hurt about something… whatever. point blank, we were best friends. very close. for a year, i lived with him. slept with him every night. woke up next to him every day. fought through the battles of not having a job, not having money to eat or get cigarettes. miscarried his child, that was very hard. but somehow, we remained positive and got through everything. got blessed when he got a job that paid 800$ a week, but he was gone for a month at a time. so, i decided it was best for me to go back to school because if i wanted to be a mother to his kids or his wife (which we talked about a few months before we broke up, he asked my ring size), then i better focus on myself and get my shit in order… anyways. toward the end of our relationship, we fought and broke up a good few times. the distance wasn’t good. we never got to see each other, which was something we weren’t used to. i had no problem with it, i could handle it. he, on the other hand, took it badly. he was edgy, angry… the first time we broke up, i was so hurt. but not being able to let him go, we still talked, and eventually got back together. he showered me with things. a new camera, a bracelet from mexico, stuffed animals, my first tattoo, a dozen roses delivered to my door for my birthday. i need to stop rambling. long story short: he found out, three years after a hook up, that his one night stand had a child. his child. he was really confused, wanted the best for his out-of-the-blue daughter… and left me. he said i didn’t deserve to go through the pain. what upsets me is he decided that for me. what happened to my thoughts? i could have handled it, i told him i had no problem with it. that i was there for him, like i always was… it’s only been 2 months, but it’s been the longest, most painful 2 months ever without him. every day for the last 3 and a half years, he’s been in my life. he keeps trying and trying to come back to me, but i’m just so hurt. and there’s much more to our story that i won’t tell. however, i can’t imagine myself with anyone else. casey was my heart. my other half. i can’t even hang out with other people, because every time i did, he was always there. he completed who i was as a whole. when i hang out with people, there’s just this emptiness. this wrongness, like… he’s supposed to be there, like he always was. or, today actually, when i had a guy kiss me. i went home and i cried for an hour, at how i didn’t even feel the tiniest of sparks… i felt nothing. and with casey, even after 3 years, we still had so much passion in everything. kissing, sex, even holding hands or cuddling there was just so much emotion. he was my first true love. i had been in previous relationships, but… casey. casey was my everything. i don’t want to let him go, but. i feel like i have to. i feel like we’re too broken to fix. we’ve been through so much now that there’s no going back. we have so many grudges and hurt feelings. but we can’t stay away from each other. we literally can’t. i don’t even know where i was going with this comment… basically, i guess i just needed to vent. i feel for all of you out there who are hurting, and feeling hopeless. i feel the same. but we have to fight through this… it’s all we have left to do about it. april 20, 2012, 3:36 am karen hi there. your story was very interesting. obviously i dont know you or your personal relationship. but i do know this, whats meant to be, will be. and maybe right now is not your time. it sounds like you had avery mature, and “marriage-like” relationship. as in you have both gone thru alot together. that cant be forgotten overnight. my advice to you, would be to work on yourself. find hobbies, entertain yourself, build yourself up. breakups are a growing process. you both grow separetly, and sometimes you grow in ways you would have never been able to grow while being together. and again, if its meant to be, it will find a way to be. many blessings to you. :) april 28, 2012, 3:50 pm trisha i just saw this today. thank you so much for the encouraging words <3 it means more than you know. :) i agree that if it's meant to be, it'll find a way to work out. i still have a lot of night where it's just really hard to get through… but i'm just doing all i can to keep a positive attitude. again, thank you lots. blessings to you, too! june 14, 2012, 9:26 pm mika hey trisha; it’s been so many months, i wanted to know how you’re holding up? i too, just went through my one and only breakup, on dec. 25, 2011. it is 2013 now, and it took completely cutting him out of my life in the last 2.5 months to finally see the little light on the other side. before that was a year of post-breakup torture. i actually had to cope by moving out of the country, which was drastic, but it worked… mikah february 24, 2013, 11:56 pm sam » why did he cheat and said he still loves me? me and my ex were married for 28 years, had three kids that were on their own with their own kids. we got along great, did everything together, without any fighting. life was good. i thought it was anyways, but i was wrong. my world came crashing around me all in one day. all that i knew and loved was gone. i got home and my husband told me he was cheating on me. i actually, figured it out by myself several months before, but i told myself i was overreacting. i ignored all the signs because i didn’t want to fight. i threw him out and divorced and now he is living with her. her and her kids from another man have ridiculed my kids right in front of him, he sat by didn’t say or do anything. i feel like i need some closure and answers in my life, that i obviously am not going to get from him. i have read a lot of things online, it seems like he is going through a mid-life crisis. when all of this first happened he would still find some way to communicate with me. he would tell me none of this was my fault, i was a good wife, and i was a good mother, but he was still living with her. i finally told him to stop talking to me because it was too hard on me. to this point, i have been trying to live my life, been dating, and i push them away every time. one day out of the blue, he calls me up, says it was an accident. my first question is why he would call me after all this time. my second question is why he would let her and her kids destroy his relationship with his kids and grandkids. i know they are having problems, he has told me himself. i was also wondering what kinds of problems they would be facing right now. i am not sure how i feel about him right now sometimes i hate him and others i miss him. from what i have read and heard he will get bored with her and try to come back, is this true? i want him to feel the pain and misery like i did. i am doing really good on my own; i am going back to school. i don’t want it to be disrupted again. what should i say if he tries to come back to me. 1.why would he call me after all this time? 2. does he still love like he said? 3. he has told that him and her are having problems are they having? 4. why didnt he stand up for his own kids? in facted he said that her kids was better then ours? our kids are in college making some of their lives her are not . march 6, 2012, 6:16 pm mari i wanted to ask u how strong u had to be and if u ever saw him again? i am actually going through that right now its my 3rd day and im dying inside! any advice on just a couple of things on how you did it? january 1, 2012, 9:52 pm nasista you will be fine. you have to be very strong – but that is easy, because you are very strong. you have the capacity, you have the power, and you have the endurance. it hurts, of course. it is hard, of course! but it will be fine. i promise. when my first love left me (admittedly, i was 16, but still), i was broken. i broke down – wound up in the hospital, couldn’t see him for months without bursting into tears, couldn’t eat, couldn’t sleep, couldn’t think of anything else. i thought it was the end, really. det var det. but … it wasn’t. it took time, some really amazing friends (this also was very similar to how *another*, later relationship i went through ended), a lot of movies and crying, but with time, came healing. persevere. lean on your friends. express yourself however is best for you (writing? drawing? photography?). and be patient. you will be okay, i absolutely promise. better things are coming :) january 6, 2012, 9:47 am melba wow. such inspiration. love hurts but it also brings fun things into our lives. ive also been there ounce, and unfortunatly im still craving to be with him. i wish god still has a plan of us still getting back together. november 10, 2011, 3:57 am jessica shauna’s story is so real and gives me hope that things will get better. i just got out of a four year relationship almost a month ago. we met when i was 18 and fell in love fast and hard. i thought i was going to spend the rest of my life with this man, get married, have babies… white picket fence type stuff. we moved in together after about two months of dating and started our lives together. i never dreamed of another man. he was my everything, best best friend, i was part of his family, we were so intensly in love. this had gotten rocky though, we fought, over stupid things. sometimes the realationship was really stressful and i felt like he didn’t treat me right. he could be controlling and possesive at times. we fought over money, keeping the house clean, normal things. somewhere between year two and four the days became blurred. there was no more yearning to be with eachother, no butterfiles, the passionate love just faded. weeks turned into rollercoaster rides with some days being great and it felt like i had my bestfriend back and i was still in love. some days we fought hard and i told him i hated him, that i was leaving and i didn’t want to be with him. in ways i meant it but i didn’t. i never left. i always stayed. i think we both wanted to go back to the days where we were in much love and we were always striving to get there but i could never happen. we had just been through so much and we could never ever go back to what once was. one morning he woke up and was leaving for work. i looked at him and said in the most cold and utterly monotone voice that ” i love you… but i am not in love with you” we just shut the door and left. that day, i felt so bad and i must have called his phone twenty times. he never answered. he came home from work and told me that he couldn’t be with me any longer and “it’s over”. i had a feeling it was going to happen but i was devestated none the less. i called my mother bawling while he just stood there watching me. i was upset, i yelled at him, i told him he will never find anyone like me. i put up with so much of his s**t. for so long. i had a plan ticket in about thirty minutes and left in about two hours. i packed my stuff. we cried and we laughed, we hugged and said our goodbyes. i was in a state of shock. so here i am one month later. across the country, trying to figure out my life. i vowed to not speak to him, to make him hurt as much as i was by not letting him hear my voice… or know how i was doing. about three weeks of that and i broke down… sent a pic message of my new car and then called him. we talked about life and how things were. he sounded great. he was doing great. he didn’t regret it. he made peace with his decision. i was devestated all over again. i am thinking ” i still love you, i miss you, how dare you, how can you be okay with this?” everyday is a stuggle. i try and do things to take my mind off it. it works but temporarily. i recently found out he is now dating someone new and the heartbreak that has developed inside of me is about twice as bad. it’s hard to sleep and eating…forget about it. my stomach is a bottemless pit and my heartaches constantly. i feel anxious and nervous all the time. i can’t help but think about them and what new memories he is creating. i am jealous. i am spiteful. i want to be in love again. he tells me he still loves me and i will have the biggest peice of his heart for years to come, but we were toxic to eachother and things got bad towards the end. why oh why can’t i just think about all the hurtful parts of the relationship and all the pain he caused me??? i constantly think about my love for him and how close we were. heartbreak is a process and it is different for everyone. it may takes months or years as i have found out reading other blogs. i want the pain to go away. i want to stop crying to to wake up six months down the road and be okay. it feels like i left a part of myself with him when i left. i know things will get better. time will heal. love will come. i will be happy again in my life. i have to know this. if you are suffering from heartache, you have to know this too!!! life is too short. i know it’s better to have loved and lost than to have never have loved at all. it’s so true. it’s a learning experience. it will make you a better person. heartbreak hurts more than a gunshot wound and to be love feels better than anything in the world… it’s just the way it is. i just hope this passes and i can move on to the next step in the healing process. july 11, 2011, 1:05 pm marketa carrington u need this april 15, 2011, 12:39 pm marie shauna – thank you for sharing. i’m going to be going through a divorce with my husband soon. we’ve had a 3 year relationship. he said it wouldn’t work due to difference in our morals and views. we still love each other but we just can’t get along. were still married but he’s already had his rebound girlfriend. i however am staying faithful to my vows until my divorce is final. it’s hard but i know i will make it through. thank you for sharing your story. it’s good to know i can get through this without a rebound boyfriend. :-) thank you. january 5, 2011, 12:46 am jessica shauna – thank you so much for writing your story. i too had a first love starting freshman year of college. i met him online and i was done for. we were together 4 years and the first two years were the best and after that i started to really see that he wasn’t who i thought he was. i had fallen in love with who i thought he was and not the real person. didn’t help we were 3 years age difference (me 18 and him 21). so i pretty much listened to everything he said about love and life, like i was a sponge. it has only been about 16 months since i left him alone in his condo that he bought for the of us. i moved in with him after i graduated college and thats when i really began to focus my attention on the relationship. i was so busy with my undergrad there were alot of things that went un-seen or i just didn’t have the time to care. i really only saw the happy times then. however moving in i did see what was real, and that was we were two completely different people. he didn’t respect me how i should have been and he just was not what i wanted. so i decided to finally end it and the 3 weeks before i finally moved out, still haunt me to this day. that was definitely the hardest time of my life. i moved out to an apartment in a city where i had no friends or family, just my new co-workers at my first full time job out of college. i did have a couple of rebounds, mainly because i was just fully enjoying being single and finally doing what i wanted and not what my ex wanted to do. i then had a short relationship with someone who i finally started to have loving feelings for (at least i thought) and then he broke it off with me. that was very hard. now almost 16 months later i’am still single and slowly i’m finding other ways to make me happy. new friends, traveling, going out with girlfriends. i also just started grad school which is a good thing because it gives me less time to think about my ex. reading this blog and the comments make me feel less alone and makes me realize that its really just the first love that i miss. i know i can find someone else to love, but i’m still holding on to my ex because i really thought he was my soul mate, and obviously still think he maybe be is a times. but even writing that i realize that it will never work between my ex and i because we are too different and there was alot of hurt that came with the relationship. i have talked to him recently, which i shouldn’t have and now its just like i’m starting over with the heartache, regret, guilt, worry. etc. i plan on not speaking to him again. i realize that i still have a couple more years left to go in order to be fully over him. its actually easier for him even though i broke it off with him because i was not his first love. so i think he is out there already having feelings for others, and that just makes me jealous. i truely thank you for the story and i’m going to focus on enjoying my single life and living every day as it is my last. tak skal du have! september 17, 2010, 6:56 pm drea i like your story b/c it sounds like what i am going through now. i moved to another state after knowing deep down it wouldn’t work. i think i hurt myself more than i hurt him. in reality, i didn’t want to hurt anyone. i just wanted to make things better, move to another state go to school and live my life with him hopefully again. we dated 3 years and 6 months, we had a house and almost marriage. i wanted to go to school, get myself financially settled b/c we always fought about money and i know with the degree i currently have i couldn’t help like i should. i hope i can get over this. which i know i will. i am glad you shared your story b/c it gives me hope. he was my best friend and his family i considered my own. though i moved not to be selfish i hope life works out the way i foresaw it. december 6, 2009, 2:27 pm liz thank you for sharing your story, i feel like it gives me hope that i can get over my x. september 15, 2009, 11:03 pm jules thank you for sharing your story. having come out of a five year relationship…it feels so good to know that i’m not alone and that the time to be single should be cherished. so here goes… may 27, 2009, 2:31 pm sinead thank you so much for sharing this… having been out of a three year relationship for just about nine months now and still feeling heartache, it’s comforting to know that things will work out. may 22, 2009, 9:23 pm ms. rose well i think you should all go out and spread …. your loving! may 11, 2009, 10:46 am meghan i totally agree with sarah. thanks for sharing your story shauna! may 11, 2009, 10:25 am sarah shauna, i love your story because you got over it with no rebound. i feel that is so key in getting over someone. you have to get over it by yourself. im going through the same thing right now, and your story has aided in my recovery process. thanks for sharing! may 11, 2009, 10:13 am