Spørg en fyr: Hvordan får han ham til at sende dig en tekst igen

rox Jeg har været i et langdistanceforhold i 15 måneder nu. han ville sende mig den første ting og normalt sende en selfie. han ringede til mig to eller tre gange om dagen og derefter ansigtstid om aftenen. vi ville se hinanden hver anden uge i et par dage. i løbet af de sidste 3 måneder (begge fra hinanden i lockdown) har han ændret sig. opkaldene er sandsynligvis en gang hver 2. uge fra ham, jeg indleder facetime, men nogle gange mens han er på facetime siger han, han er træt og går i seng. Teksterne er få er langt imellem nu, og han gør ikke som min dag er, medmindre jeg spørger ham 1.. vi har talt om alt dette, og han siger, det er fordi han aldrig har været i et forhold før, så han ved ikke, hvad han skal gøre. han sagde også, at der ikke er noget at tale om, fordi vi ikke laver noget andet, da vi er i lockdown. vi er forlovede, og jeg håber at komme nærmere ham, når jeg er i stand. han fortæller mig at stole på ham, at han elsker mig, og at det at tænke på at se mig og mine børn igen gør ondt for ham, fordi han savner os så meget. tror du der er sandheden bag dette? 12. maj 2020, 06:27 kelly thornton hvis han fortæller dig, at han savner dig og elsker dig, så tro ham. som kvinde har jeg en tendens til at kede mig med sms'er, og hvis jeg ikke har noget at sige, er jeg lidt som en mand. nogle mennesker, især fyre, har ikke tid til small talk. det generede mig, når fyre ikke sendte en sms til mig så ofte, som jeg troede, de skulle eller jagede mig, som jeg troede, de skulle, men jeg lærte, at de alle er forskellige og lad dem være dem og i mellemtiden være dig og fokus på din lykke, så du kan være glad, når du er sammen med ham igen! held og lykke! 23. juli 2020, 11:37 am julie godt sagt, og jeg er 100% enig, men jeg har et spørgsmål, så jeg har talt med denne fyr et stykke tid nu .. vi hænger ikke rigtig meget ud, og han tager timer tilbage .. han laver planer, men gå aldrig igennem det .. men han sender mig sms hver dag “god morgen” & “godnat” jeg er bare forvirret, er han på mig eller bare leder mig videre? 9. maj 2020, 23.39 lyng hej, så jeg havde downloadet en dating-app for ikke længe siden. lang historie kort Jeg havde en god forbindelse med denne fyr derude, vi endte med at sende sms'er / facetiming, han ville sms'e mig først om morgenen og sende en sms til mig meget .. Jeg ville tilbage den lørdag. Jeg vendte ikke tilbage til en af ​​hans tekster søndag intet .. så mandag sendte jeg en sms .. svarede han. vi talte i telefonen i et par minutter og sendte senere en sms-besked, han gjorde ikke det i går intet .. i dag intet ... jeg sprængte ikke hans telefon, og jeg ved, at vi ikke kender hinanden et ton, men det har gravet videre mig hvad der muligvis har ændret sig ... måske var jeg for tilgængelig til at tale eller idk .. bare underligt ... jeg vil nærme mig det, og selvom det ender som venner fint, vil jeg naturligvis bare have et svar .. jeg mener selvfølgelig jeg kan ' t tvinge noget, bare hvordan det gik fra at tale hele tiden til den ene gang, jeg ikke vender tilbage ... han syntes godt, da vi snakkede forleden, så ikke sikker på, hvad der foregik ... han fortalte mig, at han har været skilt i over et år og så engang senere, når vi har talt dage senere, sagde han, at han kan lide mig og muligvis ville flytte for at arbejde sammen med mig. så idk hvad skete der ?? lol 15. april 2020, 15:35 kristy denne slags får mig til at tænke, at selv når en fyr er i et eksklusivt forhold, kan enhver anden pige sende ham en fræk sms pic og han vil være over det hele. hvor almindeligt er det for en fyr at tale med mere end en kvinde, når han teknisk set kun er 'med' en kvinde? 4. juli 2019, 09:52 keri hej eric, jeg er stoppet med at kommunikere med denne fyr i 3 uger for nu, som jeg lidt daterede en måned tilbage. Han var den, der ringede til mig og sendte en sms til mig hver dag og opmuntrede mig og løftede mig, da jeg lige var igennem min skilsmisse på grund af min dårlige fortid. Jeg følte, at vi virkelig forbandt, og han kender mig virkelig ud og godt på trods af at han kendte mig i en kort periode. dog havde jeg vist, at jeg var for trængende, og han nævnte nogle gange for mig, at hvis en pige optræder for trængende, vil en fyr gå væk. på trods af at vi chatter hver anden gang dagligt og mødes, sagde han også, at han ikke kan begå sig lige nu, og vi bør tage tingene langsomt. så kom en tid, hvor jeg drukkede sms'ede ham en aften n hældte mine følelser ud, som jeg vidste, det var en goner n værste fejl nogensinde. fra da af; han holdt op med at kigge på mine instagramhistorier nogensinde, da han uden fejl ville gøre det, så det tidligere. dog kunne han lide nogle af mine instagram-billeder. Jeg havde fået ham noget fra udlandet for en måned tilbage, som han bad mig om at hjælpe ham med. jeg sendte den ud, og han modtog den i går. der er gået 3 uger siden han først kontaktede mig for at ønske mig et godt nytår i ferien. i går afgang sendte han en sms til mig efter åbning af mailen - ”hvorfor aldrig fortælle mig, jeg kunne have gået over for at indsamle fra dig”. men jeg gætter på, at jeg lavede en fejl ved at give ham den måde, jeg skulle have gjort. Jeg fortalte ham det bare, jeg troede det overhovedet ikke nåede ham. det gjorde han ikke siden. Jeg tænkte, om jeg bedre kunne have sagt - “Jeg er glad for, at du har det, og hvordan har du det”. men nu tror jeg det er for sent. Jeg er lidt kommet over ham på en måde lige siden vi stoppede med at kontakte de sidste 3 uger, men jeg fandt mig selv på bestemte tidspunkter stadig at tænke på ham, men ikke så meget mere. skal jeg bare lade det være, da han ikke gjorde det? han takkede mig ikke engang for den vare, jeg hjalp ham med at få, hvilket normalt ville han helt sikkert sige tak. eric, kan du venligst rådgive.? han rejser til ferie i weekenden, n jeg havde ønsket at ønske ham en sikker tur. jeg skildrer ikke ham længere, at jeg er en trængende kvinde, for jeg ved, at fyre ikke kan lide det. håber at høre fra dig snart; tak så meget !! 18. februar 2019, 18:44 geoff fra en mands perspektiv: vi indleder, så når vi har din interesse, trækker vi os tilbage. du klager måske over denne taktik, men den enkle kendsgerning er, at det er det, der holder kvinder interesserede. en kvinde er altid mere interesseret i en fyr, hvis følelser er uklare. vi spiller dit dumme spil, det er derfor, vi begynder at slippe med teksterne. spørg enhver fyr, hvad der sker, hvis vi ikke gør dette. svaret er, at vi får den dejlige fyr tale. åh, du er så flot, så perfekt, jeg kan ikke tro, at du er single, men ja, jeg føler det bare ikke. kvinder, du kan benægte dette alt hvad du kan lide, men det er bare sådan du er. 8. december 2018, 3:41 am stacy så den fyr, jeg har set ugentligt i cirka 5 måneder, sender ikke meget mellem mig, hvis det overhovedet er mellem datoer men vores tid sammen er altid rigtig god. så det er fordi han vil holde mig interesseret? det føles ret fjernt og løsrevet, indtil vi fysisk mødes igen. hmmmm ??? 21. februar 2019, 16:52 mor hej eric, mit spørgsmål er måske lidt uden for emnet, men jeg har virkelig brug for dit perspektiv .. vi er nu om 8 måneder dating, og vi fandt lige ud af, at jeg er gravid. vi talte altid om, at vi havde en baby nogle gange, men det kom som en overraskelse. han vil have mig til at afbryde, og det gør jeg bestemt ikke. på den anden side er jeg bange for, at han måske tror, ​​det er en fælde, og måske bare efterlade mig med en baby, (ps jeg har allerede et barn, ikke for ham, så jeg føler, at det ville være for meget for mig at have to af upræciserede dads) Jeg ved, du kan ikke træffe et valg for mig, men hvad er virkningerne af mine to muligheder efter din mening. han har været rigtig god, når det kommer til at støtte min karriere, og når vi sammen er meget åbne over selv ting, han ikke bare vil dele med nogen. hans grunde til ikke at have babyen nu er vores professionelle forhold, da vi endnu ikke afslørede vores forhold til vores interessenter, han føler, at det kan ødelægge den tillid, de især har til ham, jeg er i en position, hvor jeg ikke har brug for deres godkendelse, men han er i en mere daglig position ... værdsat din indsigt ... .. 30. oktober 2018, 12:34 eric charles hej mor, det bedste svar jeg kan give dig er, at du skal kommunikere nøjagtigt dine tanker med ham og prøve at være så åben som du overhovedet kan med at høre ham om, hvor han kommer fra. Jeg forstår, at du er bange for at gøre eller sige den forkerte ting her, men dette er en alvorlig situation og skal diskuteres seriøst. det betyder, at I begge er så klare, direkte og åbne med hinanden, som I kan være. som du sagde, skal du træffe valget, og jeg (eller nogen anden) kan træffe valget for dig, hvad du skal gøre. men jeg kan ikke se nogen måde for dig og ham at komme til, hvad dit valg vil være uden meget at tale med hinanden og have en meget klar samtale. ja det vil være ubehageligt, ja du og han har måske to meget forskellige meninger om, hvad du vil gøre ... men din situation er, hvad den er, og der er ingen at ignorere det på dette tidspunkt. efter min mening (og alt dette er bare min mening, dette er ikke en professionel recept eller noget lignende), jeg tror, ​​du ville have det bedre, hvis du kommer forbi ubehaget ved at tale om det og lave en klar plan for, hvordan du Jeg bevæger mig fremad herfra. Jeg tror, ​​du sikkert ved, at dette er hvad der skal ske, men du håber, at der måske er en mindre ubehagelig måde at komme videre ... og desværre tror jeg, at dette bliver nødt til at være ubehageligt, men du kommer forbi ubehaget, og du ' Begge vil være i en bedre position til at komme videre, når du har den åbne, ærlige, direkte diskussion om, hvad der vil ske herfra. held og lykke. 30. oktober 2018, 13:32 d.k wow! god kommentar! jeg udstationerede det 26. august 2018, 13:03 sherri hej eric, en fyr fra arbejde, og jeg har talt om dating og lære hinanden mere at kende i ca. 7 mos. vi havde ikke en egentlig dato før kl. 6 efter vi har talt om dating. vi har delt en masse intimitet. han spurgte endda hvor engageret jeg ville være. Jeg fortalte ham, at jeg gerne vil have et voksende, blomstrende forhold til ham. han sagde, at han leder efter noget meget lang sigt, hvis alting ordner sig. for et par uger siden blev jeg for ængstelig, ophidset og følelsesladet og sendte ham en række tekster, der spurgte, hvad der foregik, og hvordan ved jeg, om du ikke fortæller mig det. han gjorde ikke til nogen af ​​dem. tidligere i forholdet sagde han, at kommunikation er en af ​​3 vigtige ting i et forhold. Jeg spurgte ham, om vi kunne løse dette, og jeg fik nej. Jeg er tabt og ved ikke hvad jeg skal gøre eller sige til ham. hjælp venligst! tak skal du have! 11. august 2018, 08:58 jessica hej, en fyr indledte chat over twitter, fulgte, flirtede. Jeg var sej, sarkastisk, vi havde skød og han skubbede stadig flirten og fik mig til at grine. han bad om mit nummer. vi sms'er frem og tilbage, flirt, uartige videoopkald og stemmemeddelelser. han bad om at mødes flere gange, var super ivrig. Jeg ville, men ventede indtil dette tidspunkt for at fortælle ham, at jeg havde en kæreste (jeg ved), han havde det fint, dømte ikke, talte stadig / skrev. så spurgte han mig, om jeg ikke kunne gå i møde med ham i sidste øjeblik en aften. Jeg arbejdede og havde travlt og svarede, at jeg ikke kunne. Jeg var ikke sikker på, at det var beregnet til mig og sagde, at jeg antog, at det var til en anden. nej. tekst 3 dage så senere spurgte hvad der foregik den aften bad han om at mødes. nej tekst mødes i dag og fik en stump, der antyder, at det er fornuftigt at stoppe med at kommunikere. ikke sikker på, hvorfor ændringen ... 2. november 2017, 23:54 lyng jeg begyndte at se en fyr i juni, og vi ville enten gå ud og spise middag på hans sted med sine venner over eller har et dejligt hjemmelavet måltid hos mig omkring hver uge til 2 uger. vi boede altid natten på hinandens steder og skyndte os aldrig at forlade hinanden. vi sender aldrig tekst imellem at se hinanden, fordi vi bare ville vente med at tale, når vi kom sammen. han besøgte kun min by sommeren for at arbejde og nu flyttede han hjem der kun er 2,5 timer væk. Jeg fortalte ham, inden han gik, at jeg vil holde mig inde. han sagde, at han også vil holde kontakten, han vil have mig til at besøge ham, og han sagde, at han også vil komme og besøge mig. nu hvor han er væk, ved jeg ikke, hvor ofte jeg skal sende en sms til ham. vi sendte aldrig meget sms, da han var her. Jeg har ikke set ham i 2 uger og har heller ikke hørt om det. på det tidspunkt sms'er jeg kun to gange uden svar. var det bare en sommerslynge? skal jeg bare give ham tid til at bosætte sig derhjemme og vente på at se, om han sender en sms eller ringer til mig? 17. august 2017, 19:25 cristiana hej eric! om mands sms-vaner, når du er i et forhold, og fyren, der er optaget, reagerer på tekster, men ikke faktisk indleder kontakt i et par dage eller deromkring, kan det betyde, at han ikke er ligeglad med vores forhold ? Jeg mener, fra dit perspektiv, føler ikke fyrene behovet for at tjekke ind, hvis vi er i orden, eller er det et tegn på, at de ikke engang tænker på os? tak for de gode artikler, forresten. masser af kærlighed :) 6. juni 2017, 12:48 kaitlyn g bare et spørgsmål. går en fyr virkelig sammen med dig, hvis du ønsker datoer hver dag og er villig til at betale for datoerne? 24. april 2017, 23:33 mae min kæreste og jeg har været sammen i 6 måneder. han prioriterer mig ikke. skriver næsten ikke mig i arbejdstiden, hvilket er fint. jeg får arbejde kommer først. endnu før og efter arbejde hører jeg ikke fra ham. han har altid en undskyldning. Jeg er altid nødt til at indlede samtalerne. Jeg har talt med ham om dette, men bare ikke meget forbedring. hvad skal jeg gøre? 5. februar 2017, 23:38 jill hej eric! Jeg ville bare sige, at jeg har fulgt mange af dine råd om dine indlæg, og indtil videre har det fungeret meget bedre for mig end før, jeg vidste noget af dette om mænd. tak for at dele din viden til os og fortsæt det! 31. december 2016, 12:05 jill hej eric! Jeg ville bare sige, at jeg har fulgt mange af dine råd om dine indlæg, og indtil videre har det fungeret meget bedre for mig end før, jeg vidste noget af dette om mænd. efter dit råd fik jeg en rigtig sød fyr (som jeg har knust i 2 år) gå ud af hans måde at bede om mit nummer. tak for at dele din viden til os og fortsæt det! 31. december 2016, 00:24 jill wow betød ikke at skrive det to gange! 31. december 2016, 00:37 eric charles ingen prob - fantastisk, dejligt at høre den jill. glad for at hjælpe. 31. december 2016, 1:11 am lyn hej eric. denne fyr begyndte at sende en sms til mig og plejede at indlede samtalen hver dag. vi plejede at have en god samtale og vi smsede hele tiden. vi plejede at ringe til hinanden i timevis, mens vi studerede. han ved, at han gør mig glad, og han fortalte mig, at jeg gjorde ham til en bedre person. men for nylig fortalte han mig, at jeg er for god for ham, og at jeg kunne finde en bedre fyr end ham. han indleder ikke længere en samtale med mig og begyndte endda at ignorere mine beskeder. hvad skal jeg gøre for at få ham til at føle sig selvsikker? og mig..? hvad skal jeg gøre for at redde forholdet? 11. november 2016, 05:48 skat ærligt talt tror jeg ikke, at han ikke føler sig 'selvsikker'. fyre er jagere, de elsker at jagte kvinder uanset om de synes, hun er for god for ham. Når han taler ud fra personlig erfaring, kan han bare tale med andre piger på siden og føler sig skyldig, fordi han ved, at du er ægte med dine følelser, og hævder derfor, at du er for god for ham. hvis en fyr virkelig kan lide en pige, og hun er gensidigt interesseret, ville han ikke bare afskære hende så hurtigt (undtagen hvis jeg har nogle alvorlige dybe problemer) 16. november 2016, 02:48 ojo folashade Jeg mødte denne fyr for næsten et år siden, vi har haft sex som to gange, men jeg gætter på at jeg mister ham over en anden gurl, og det er som om han ikke respekterer mig mere. at krone Jeg havde meget for ham. hvordan får jeg min respekt tilbage, og jeg får ham til at blive forelsket i mig igen. og han hævdede også, at han ikke er en type, der sms'er meget. 28. oktober 2016, 12:31 skat bedst at bare lade ham gå (især hvis han er begyndt at tale med en anden pige), i hans øjne så han sandsynligvis bare dette som en tilslutning kan du få din respekt tilbage ved at elske dig selv, opbygge din selvværd og til sidst vil den rigtige fyr komme til dig. du skal aldrig føle behovet for at overbevise nogen om at blive forelsket i dig. x. 16. november 2016, 02.50 ninette har været sammen med denne fyr, og jeg synes, jeg sender ham lidt for meget sms, nu vil jeg have ham til at sende en sms til mig, ikke sms til ham, hvad skal jeg gøre 25. august 2016, 05:40 nicole Jeg har talt med denne fyr i et år nu over messaging. vi gik faktisk i skole sammen. alligevel sendte jeg ham et nøgenbillede, og jeg så, var han set det, men han svarede aldrig. det har været dage nu. en anden ting er, at han bad mig sende en sms til ham når som helst, og at jeg skulle. han reagerer aldrig tilbage. jeg smsede 3 gange om 2 uger. sjov eller tændt hans dag. han kun tekst mig 02:00. 1. juni 2016, 13:18 su hej. Jeg har været i et forhold med min kæreste de sidste 2,5 år. vi er i et langdistanceforhold i 10 måneder nu. lige fra starten kæmpede vi om de mindste sager. tidligere plejede vi at diskutere og udarbejde tingene og derefter kæmpe igen, men i de sidste seks eller syv måneder lægger han ingen anstrengelser i dette forhold. hans følelser for mig forsvinder. den største ulempe er, at han bor der sammen med fem af sine barndomsvenner, så selv når vi bryder sammen, vender han sig ikke til mig og bruger sin tid sammen med dem. Jeg tager altid det første træk. indtil nu er vi gået adskillige gange og kom tilbage. han udtrykker ikke ham kærlighed til mig, kalder mig heller ikke fra sin egen. når jeg sender en sms til ham, svarer han meget sent. for nylig lod han sine forældre vide om vores forhold. men under vores sidste kamp fortalte han mig, at han ikke vil gifte sig med mig. vores break ups sker, fordi han giver mig meget mindre tid om dagen og om natten, når han ringer, fortæller han mig, at han er søvnig. når jeg klager over, at han aldrig giver mig tid, bliver han sur over det faktum, at han er søvnig, men jeg lader ham ikke sove. vær venlig at hjælpe mig. tak. 12. maj 2016, 10:44 am kate denne fyr tilføjede mig på facebook for cirka et år siden og sendte mig derefter en besked på min fødselsdag for at bede mig om kaffe .. kl. den gang jeg var sammen med en anden og måtte afvise ud fra det og fortalte ham, at jeg værdsatte invitationen. for et par måneder siden skiltes den kæreste og jeg, og for et par uger siden sendte jeg en besked til den fyr på facebook, og vi begyndte at chatte i timevis ad gangen online og til sidst via tekst og syntes virkelig at slå det af .. denne sidste uge hang vi ud flere gange og havde en masse sjov. det ser ud til, at han er i mig ved den måde, han taler og handler omkring mig, og jeg har gjort det klart, at jeg er i ham. Men siden vi hang ud, har han ikke været den, der sendte en sms til mig først, og han har været rigtig inkonsekvent til tider med, da han til sidst kom rundt med at sende mig en sms. enten tager han op til 24 timer til eller undertiden slet ikke. da vi hang ud, sagde han, at han havde meget på hovedet lige nu og har været lidt stresset med arbejde. han arbejder ude af byen på 7 til 7 uden for tidsplanen og synes åbenbart at have meget at indhente med familie / venner / livet generelt, når han er hjemme, så igen kan jeg forstå det travle aspekt af tingene .. jeg Jeg er ikke en trængende person, men jeg sms'er ham måske en gang om dagen bare for at sige hej og sige, at jeg håber, at han har en god dag, eller at han var på mit sind .. Jeg har lyst til at få nogle blandede beskeder nu om, hvorvidt han ønsker at tale eller endda gå videre med at hænge ud. Jeg har til tider bemærket, at han har været aktiv på sociale medier efter ikke at have reageret på mine tekster med det samme .. Jeg er lidt tilbøjelig til lige ud at spørge ham, om han stadig deler min interesse i at hænge ud mere, og om han ser mig som en mulig kæreste, men igen kommer det til at virke trængende eller støder på for stærk for tidligt i spillet. er det bedre at være fremad og spørge lige op? eller skal jeg bare køre den ud, stoppe med at sende en besked til ham et stykke tid og se hvad der sker? kunne dette bare være en indikation af hans sms-vaner, og måske læser jeg for meget ind i det? 28. april 2016, 02:31 em Jeg har været sammen med en fyr i omkring tre måneder nu. han fortæller mig altid, at han virkelig kan lide mig, han er meget jaloux og køber blomster til mig hver gang han ser mig. dog har han en tendens til at 'forsvinde'. med dette mener jeg, at han vil slukke for sin telefon og gå en hel dag uden at tale med mig og derefter sige, at han havde lidt travlt. for nylig er han også begyndt at ignorere mine beskeder .. hvad betyder det ?? hvad skal jeg gøre ?? 1. april 2016, 15:07 h her er hvad jeg ikke får. hvorfor er der så mange indlæg om, hvordan kvinder skal ændre sig for mænd? det er altid noget, der grundlæggende siger 'ikke have nogen følelser eller opføre dig som et normalt menneske, vær bare som en sexrobot, og du har det godt!' vi gætter på, hvad der kan imødekomme mænds behov, men kvinden får normalt ikke det, hun vil have. der skal være en balance. mænd skal begynde at imødekomme kvinders behov mere, ikke omvendt. 30. marts 2016, 13:02 eric charles det handler ikke om, at en kvinde 'skal' skifte for mænd. gør hvad der passer dig. dette er et sted med et kvindepublikum, så artiklerne er skrevet for kvinder. Uanset om du er mand eller kvinde, er en ting klar: Hvis du vil have andre resultater end det, du får, skal du ændre, hvad du laver. Hvis du ikke ønsker at få forskellige resultater, skal du ikke ændre det, du laver. du kan sige andre mennesker 'har brug for' at gøre dette eller det, men det gør det ikke sådan. når jeg skriver noget, skriver jeg det, fordi jeg vil fortælle folk (mænd eller kvinder), hvad der vil være effektivt. der er intet mere smertefuldt og frustrerende end at ønske at få forskellige resultater, men enten ikke vide hvordan eller ikke forstå, hvorfor det, du laver, ikke er effektivt. Jeg har ingen interesse i at føre samtaler om, hvad andre mennesker ”burde” gøre for dig. verden skylder dig ikke noget, og hvis du vil have noget, er det op til dig at træffe de valg, der får det til at ske. ikke kun de handlinger, du tager og de beslutninger, du tager, men også hvem du vælger at deltage i relationer med, og hvad du vælger at sige ja og nej til. så jeg synes ikke, du ”burde” gøre noget - gør hvad du vil. Jeg er kun interesseret i at hjælpe folk med at være effektive og komme ud af smerte. 30. marts 2016, 15:21 e Jeg er så forvirret. Jeg har været sammen med en fyr en gang om ugen i cirka 3 uger. han skriver normalt hele dagen, glade ting, ting der forstyrrer ham om sit job, spørger mig hvordan min dag er osv. indledning er sandsynligvis omkring 60/40 mig eller relativt lige. når vi går ud, er det fantastisk. som om jeg har fundet en der virkelig får mig. og han har sagt det samme. han siger ting som, 'din smukke', 'du er vidunderlig,' 'jeg vil gerne se dig mange flere gange' osv. Jeg var meget tilfreds med, hvordan tingene skrider frem. han er en meget indadvendt person, der lider af depression og migræne, så jeg ved, at han har 'slukkede' dage. Jeg prøver at give ham plads og var virkelig begejstret, da han inviterede mig over til sit hus for at se en film. en masse af vores sms'er var blevet temmelig seksuelle på dette tidspunkt, så jeg var temmelig sikker på, at det ville ske. og det gjorde det. en gang om natten og igen om morgenen. vi chattede lidt, og så kom jeg på vejen. da jeg sagde farvel, blinkede han et rigtig underligt blik på mig, men jeg prøvede at ignorere min tarm. når alt kommer til alt, havde vi haft sex som 10 minutter tidligere, og efter at vi gjorde det, tog han mig ud for at vise mig båden, han bygger, sin stolthed og glæde. senere samme dag (5 timer senere?) sms'ede jeg ham med en sjov henvisning til den film, vi så den foregående aften, og fik ikke noget svar. så omkring 930 den aften, måske 12 timer efter jeg sidst sagde ham, sendte jeg en sms for at sige 'Jeg har bemærket, at du ikke har reageret som du normalt gør, er alt i orden?' tænker måske på, at han havde migræne eller var deprimeret og måske vil tale om det (som han har gjort før). det er nu gået 24 timer siden jeg sendte den tekst, og der har været død stilhed på hans ende. jeg forstår ikke. Jeg vil ikke sende en sms til ham, i det mindste i en uge, for at sikre, at jeg ikke generer ham. men jeg er et rod. Jeg er virkelig bekymret for, at jeg gjorde noget forkert, eller værre, at jeg blev brugt til sex. hvilket virkelig ville være overraskende, da han virkelig var følelsesmæssigt sårbar over for mig før den nat / morgen. selv efter vi først havde sex. det er som om noget gik galt i løbet af de 15 minutter mellem at komme ud af sengen og ind i min bil. giver jeg bare op og går videre? det ser ud til, at enten 1) han er død 2) hans telefon er brudt (klart begge er meget usandsynlig) eller 3) han var virkelig god til at foregive at være sårbar og åben, med det endelige mål at have sex og sparke mig til kantstenen . Jeg føler mig helt brugt, og det er en forfærdelig følelse. det faktum, at han ignorerede mig, da jeg tjekkede ind (på en mild måde) for at sikre, at han var ok, er sååååå ikke 'hans normale' ... men det er i øjeblikket hans virkelighed. “spøger” han på mig ?? er der en eller anden måde at rette situationen på? hvis dette bare er som han er, er det temmelig umodent og ikke nogen, som alligevel vil være sammen med. men han var slet ikke sådan, før jeg forlod sit sted lørdag morgen. Hjælp!! hvad sker der??????? e 21. februar 2016, 23:03 skinneben han er klassisk undgående. google undgående vedhæftet fil, og det er ham. det har intet at gøre med dig. han har et problem med ægte intimitet. 16. juni 2019, 15:44 daniella så jeg er asiat, vil bare påpege, at derude xd ham og jeg plejede at være i samme skole i singapore , men nu, på grund af noget der skete med mine forældre, måtte de flytte tilbage til Filippinerne sammen med mig. vi er begge filippinere btw. vi var bare venner, men lidt nære venner. det er mere end 6 måneder siden jeg så ham. et par af mine venner sendte en besked til mig og sagde, at han kunne lide mig, men jeg troede ikke på dem. så sendte de en besked til ham for at bevise sig ret, men han benægtede hvert ord af det. Jeg troede, jeg var over ham, så jeg sendte en besked til ham om at undskylde, hvis han misforstod situationen eller følte sig ubehagelig. men det har været næsten 2 måneder (tror jeg), og han har ikke svaret tilbage. han har dog læst det. tak, jeg har brug for din hjælp. Jeg forstod lige, jeg er stadig ikke gået videre. 25. januar 2016, kl. 07:56 katie ok så min ting er en langdistance ting, og vi er ikke sammen, selvom han spyttede et lille godt spil. vi kender hinanden gennem fælles venner og er lige begyndt at tale, jeg var ikke interesseret i starten, så da vi gik 2 uger uden at tale, generede det mig ikke ... men for nylig udtrykte vi vores følelser for hinanden. han skulle komme og besøge mig i de næste par uger, og på nytårsaften var jeg lidt overdreven med at sende sms'e til ham uden svar ... vi talte på nytårsdag og hver nat syntes godt ... vi havde noget interaktion på sociale medier følgende dage, men han har ikke reageret på nogen af ​​mine tekster ... han har ikke ringet til mig som skræmte jeg ham af ??? han arbejder i oliefeltet, så han arbejder 144 timer på 12 dage ... han har været nætter i det forløbne arbejde, så han sover om dagen, og jeg ved, at han sandsynligvis er udmattet ... skræmte jeg ham, jeg kan godt lide ham, og han kunne godt lide mig meget, tænkte jeg ... jeg mener, han åbnede sig for mig, og vi havde så rigtig dybe samtaler ... han talte endda om at flytte her ... men så har vi ikke talt i 7 dage af telefonen, og vi har ikke haft nogen kontakt på sociale medier om 5 dage… jeg kommenterede et foto og sagde, at han skulle gøre det til hans profilbillede, og det gjorde han ... men jeg er bare så fortabt og forvirret, hvorfor ignorerer han mig ??? hvad der skete, jeg er en meget lidenskabelig person, skræmte jeg ham, jeg håber ikke jeg mistede ham, min hjerne går 100 miles i timen ... hjælp mig venligst !!! 9. januar 2016, 10:17 pm sabrina eric, jeg er lidt tabt og lidt overrasket over nogle af kommentarerne fra folk her. Jeg relaterede til så mange ting, du sagde og forstod fuldstændigt, tankegangen 'Jeg arbejder og byder velkommen til en behagelig distraktion' er virkeligheden ved at arbejde hårdt og meget. Jeg har et spørgsmål eric, hvad med kvinden, der skal lede seksuelt. jeg mener ikke på en trucker rå måde (intet imod truckere eller rå mennesker), jeg mener på den måde, at jeg er 45 år gammel kvinde, der ved meget klart, hvad jeg kan lide seksuelt og kan udtrykke og bede om det. det ser ud til at skræmme eller gøre mænd nervøse. Jeg taler ikke om fetisher eller usædvanlige fantasier. Jeg ser ingen forskel i at finde ud af nogen personlighed, arbejdsmoral, familieværdier, lide og ikke lide verden. noget andet end at finde ud af, at deres seksuelle libido kan lide og ikke lide at se, om du er kompatibel. forslag til, hvordan jeg kan gøre dette uden at en fyr bliver nervøs eller ubehagelig at diskutere det. på forhånd tak for eventuelle råd. sabrina 23. december 2015, 17:52 keri jeg har et spørgsmål. det er ens, men med et par forskellige faktorer. Jeg har været sammen med denne fyr i 7 måneder nu, og vi er i øjeblikket i et langdistanceforhold. vi var sammen og havde samme sted i to måneder, og nu har vi været langdistance i næsten 6 måneder. Jeg har set ham en gang i denne lange afstandstid, og jeg vil se ham igen om to uger. han er fra Sydafrika, men han arbejder i øjeblikket på en skole i Mellemøsten, hvor jeg arbejdede. mange af mine venner boede der også, så jeg kender mange af hans venner og kolleger. vi blev virkelig forelsket, og han foreslog, at vi skulle forblive sammen og gøre tingene på lang afstand. og han betaler for mig at komme til hans brødres bryllup om to uger i Sydafrika. han har planlagt vores fremtid til næste år, hvor vi leder efter skoler at arbejde i et andet land. når vi er sammen, er alt godt, og han er venlig, følsom og opmærksom. men når vi er fra hinanden, føler jeg nogle gange, at han glemmer mig. når vi adskiller os oprindeligt, er han meget opmærksom på meddelelser og tekster og skypes og breve. han vil sige ting som 'du er min alt' og 'jeg savner dig' og vil gerne vide, hvornår vi springer over næste. men efter et stykke tid, især med denne længere adskillelse (4 måneder), blev han bare rigtig travl, og så følte jeg mig tilbage. i det mindste en tekst eller to om dagen, men ikke noget større, ikke mere fluffy ting virkelig - det kun meget lejlighedsvis. han kan godt lide, at jeg sender ham sex og billeder og vil bede om dem, men nogle gange gør han det ikke engang! Vi har haft et par argumenter om det, fordi jeg ikke forstår, hvorfor han ikke længere kan finde tid til at sende små beskeder eller endda svare på de meddelelser, jeg sender. han ser ud til at have det godt med denne slags forhold, men da vi aldrig ser hinanden, vil jeg tale mere, men det får mig til at være trængende og får ham til at trække sig væk, hvis jeg bringer det op. hvad gør jeg forkert? hvorfor blev han så fjern? is he trying to imply that he’s over it and doesn’t want me to come on this trip? but he sends me emails about jobs for next year, but he forgets to text “i love you.” i don’t understand! and how do i then adjust my texting style? december 9, 2015, 3:52 pm nikita somehow i find these exceedingly wrong..if you don’t want to deal with anything besides sex,don’t be in a relationship have a “no strings attached relationship”..if you want to be in a relationship with someone,communication is the key.if you want to focus on yourself,stay single & take all the time you want to work on yourself.i feel if you’re in a relationship with someone you have to give them time,through the good bad and ugly am i right?it can’t just be all fun and good times,where she keeps you happy with sexy and fun times.how about you treating her like your queen rather than your servant?it is self centred that you want to be a king but refuse to treat her the same way you wish to be treated..women aren’t needy,we don’t want you men to text us back every second of the day,atleast respond to what we say.if you’re going to be busy just send one simple text thats it,that’s all we ask,saying “will be busy for a while”don’t even have to include the three words if you dont wish to.but it is self centered to just disappear for days on end and give some pathetic excuse yet we forgive you because we actually take the time to understand you and love you..and if we were to do the same to you,maybe you men would not even mind it,but our hearts could not bare to do the same to you.. this is not right,and that’s just my opinion. december 7, 2015, 1:38 pm shannon so i’ve been dating a guy for a few months, he always seems into me when we’re together but doesn’t communicate well. he rarely will text or call. he rarely will make plans but when i ask him to do something he is always willing and we have a great time. he always is very affectionate and have never pushed sex. he always compliments me and has told me several times he likes me. he is alway a gentleman when out, opening door, pulling out my chair etc. i feel confused about the whole situation, but i really really really like him. november 24, 2015, 6:39 pm mike sleep with him you idiot. the fact that he’s even sticking around after not getting his d wet for 2 months is a red flag on his part. december 2, 2015, 11:55 am mimi i’ve been speaking to a guy for about a couple of weeks, started dating recently, everything was fine, conversations went well and he visited me a day before this happened and then all of a sudden, he went silent too, i texted and called him nothing literally, no for the past 10 days, his phone rings but always goes to voicemail, tried calling with other numbers same situation. i’m stuck in the same situation. i don’t know what to do anymore? help anyone? november 8, 2015, 6:39 pm michelle i got a boy friend but iam into his friend should i tell him or should i wait until he finds out on his own november 3, 2015, 2:15 am michelle tell that’s just hurting for anyone to do to a poor guy november 19, 2015, 10:47 am stac so there’s this guy that i have been texting and hanging out with for almost a year. he used to text me almost right away or at least in the same day if i text early enough. lately i have to initiate the conversation and i tell him that i don’t like doing that but all he’s done is apoligize and says that he will try to text often but he’s busy with school and work, which i understand since i’m busy too. i’ll text him and if he doesn’t respond within 2 days i won’t text him at all and usually it’s like 2-3 weeks before he starts feeling bad about not texting. usually at 1 1/2 weeks i’ll text just to make sure he’s okay and still alive and he’ll respond to that but won’t say anything else. i’m starting to get super fed up. i’m wondering how i just completely sever ties with him at this point. october 26, 2015, 10:03 am rin apply the no contact rule november 25, 2015, 3:39 am fish27 the guy i was seeing a couple months ago went travelling. he stopped talking to me before he left without any warning. he started talking to me again a month ago, saying he’s been missing me, making plans for when he comes back but he’s suddenly stopped talking to me again. he’ll put stuff on facebook, check snapchat but won’t even read my messages on whatsapp even though it’s telling me he’s online. i just feel like i’m being taken for a mug, what do i do? october 11, 2015, 10:34 am mg though he says he likes when i do it, he doesn’t respond to my sexy texts either. never asked him why, but i assume he’s hiding something. he says he’s not married and doesn’t have a steady girlfriend, further more he says he loves me. so why doesn’t he respond? clueless, but staying positive and confident in who i am and what i possess. october 1, 2015, 8:39 am brooke this article is all about doing what the guy wants to make him happy. shut down your feelings of being disrespected and treated unkindly and keep it light, act like it doesn’t bother you so you don’t come off needy. aka let men make every decision when it comes to a relationship on his watch and time, and don’t be needy. jesus september 24, 2015, 9:04 am marina i totally agree with brooke. here is the quote from this article that i find most sexist: ‘orient your mind towards giving him what he likes, not on what you want to get from him’ . the implicit suggestion here is not to expect anything in return. so send him sexy photos, keep it light and fun to entertain and please him, but when it comes to giving the woman what she wants, i.e. to be heard, loved and respected, then that woman is labelled as ‘needy’. how very convenient for men! a good relationship is about give and take, and men would and should be expected to be respectful towards their women and respond to texts. i am not talking about obsessive and demanding texting, of which men are also guilty, but normal communication between two people who treat each other with love and respect. if a man is not responding to you, then he does not respect and does not appreciate you. you need to move on. october 16, 2015, 10:10 am eric charles @marina – you’re making an assumption about me and the article that isn’t true… you think that i’m giving gender-based advice, telling women to put men first. truth is, when i work with guys, i tell them the same thing… that instead of being self-centered and thinking about how they’ve been wronged or what they want, shift their focus to considering where the other person is coming from. and, just like you’re saying here, a few guys will whine, “what?? why should **i** have to cater to her needs?!?! women get everything in this society! oh so i should just give and give, work till i drop and all she has to do is look pretty?” this kind of defensive thinking comes from guys who have been hurt and that hurt turned to anger. everyone has been hurt. i have, you have… and i can understand how that hurt can turn to anger and bitterness. still… anger and bitterness aren’t effective and when i write to an audience, i write what will be the most effective for the person asking the question. with all that said, we actually agree on much of what you are saying… yes, people do treat each other with love and respect in relationships… yes there is give and take. you’re not going to get there having an adversarial attitude towards men (just as men aren’t going to get into a great relationship if they have an adversarial attitude towards women). october 16, 2015, 11:30 am marina eric, thank you for your comments. i would like to say straight away that i believe that you do have women’s interests at heart when you give them advice. and i understand that this is a guy’s perspective, which is referred to by the name of your site. however, as a woman, there are things in this article that i am very uncomfortable with. for example, whilst describing yourself as a hard working man, whose time is of value, you do not seem to give the same credit to women, and choose to focus on their ability to send you their naked pictures. in my opinion, this is stereotyping. many women also work hard and long hours. so what is your point here? why working hard should stop a person from being respectful? it is sufficient to say once that you are busy and will respond later. however, this is not even the issue that women raise here. they are not saying that they are frustrated because men do not respond to texts that they send them to work. the women here are saying that some men do not respond for hours, days, weekends. women here are saying that the relationship is on men’s terms and that they feel exhausted of doing all the work, they feel ignored, unappreciated and hurt. i think the message should be loud and clear to men (and women) – leaving the other person ‘hanging’, being selfish, inconsiderate and disrespectful to others is not ok and should not be put up with. also, eric, you make an assumption about me – i do not have adversarial attitude towards men. on the contrary, in my comments above i am actually talking about treating each other with fairness, respect and appreciation. regards, marina october 17, 2015, 5:52 am eric charles hey marina – you made a couple of points here, so let me speak to them one at a time. first, with regards to stereotyping… honestly, i think you are creating an issue where there is none. if i say i’m hardworking, that doesn’t take away from the other person’s attributes. me saying that i’m “x” doesn’t make the other person “not x”. and saying that i enjoy anything about a woman (e.g. her sending sexy pictures to me) doesn’t reduce her in any way either. that’s not stereotyping — that is you seeing stereotyping when it isn’t there. stereotyping would be if someone stated something like, “men work hard and women don’t”. i didn’t say that and i definitely don’t believe that. personally speaking, the women i date tend to be highly educated and hard working (i’ve dated many doctors, lawyers, surgeons, business owners, top salespeople, a college professor, etc.) they happen to be attractive women, very feminine, but also very effective, hard-working, high-achieving women. i think we live in a dangerous age right now because you’re not allowed to talk about gender issues openly… you’re only allowed to talk about the pc version and opinions on things… and if you bring up points that don’t mirror that incredibly limited narrative, you’re attacked for being an -ist (racist, sexist, chauvinist, etc.) and i’m not even talking about points *against* the pc narrative… i’m talking even just about points that don’t fall into that very limited narrative. so that’s why i’m taking issue with you blanket-labeling my article as sexist or stereotyping… i mean, there are even several occasions in the article where i explicitly say, “this applies whether it’s a guy or woman”. i try my best to make it clear that i’m not sticking characteristics to a gender, but some people are never satisfied… and it takes so freaking long to say anything when i have to pad everything with softeners to make sure i’m not offending anyone… the point gets lost and it’s frustrating. now, to your other point – you’re saying that women are frustrated that the relationship is on the man’s terms and i’m not speaking to that. i’ve written about this in many different articles and i think that if you read more of my stuff, you’d find that what i talk about, recommend and encourage is probably in agreement with what you think too. i just didn’t get into it in this article because i can’t write a book for every article. october 18, 2015, 2:00 am pearl this guy does the same thng. in the beginning he would txt but now very rarely. i usually would send tons of txts. one day i sent a sexy pic and he responded “i like that” and that was all. well yesterday no txts. but at 9pm he txt and ask if i was mad at him. i said no ofcourse not. he told me to txt him at 9am this morning. i did but no response. havnt txt him back yet. i think some guys do just want u to chase them to see how good they have u wrapped around their finger. but i learn fast. he is probably getting worried now bcuz two days in a row i held my ground. when he txt later i wont respond. he just pkaying games. men do that. but he gonna be chasing me bcuz im going to give him the cold shoulder even tho i miss him terribly. if a guy really likes u and he see u are changing he will get scared and fix his attitude october 27, 2015, 6:09 pm rena my boyfriend and i took a break for a couple of months. we saw each other last week, and everything was just great ! and invited me to go to the beach with his daughter in the morning. however i had plans that day, with my mom. but i asked for a raincheck. anyway few days later asked him, if he wanted to go have ice cream and he replied “that he was in park with his daughter and then going to a restaurant. ” then i answered, “at church, leaving soon, where is the restaurant ? seems like a funny name for a place. lol.” haven’t got a response since. i hope he didn’t think like if i was inviting myself, because i didn’t mean that. i just wanted to see him. og intet andet. what do i do ? please help, i want to take the proper steps. haven’t heard from him since saturday and it’s monday. september 14, 2015, 8:39 am mss be careful… a months break is too much,,,may be he z roaming around with smbdy else september 26, 2015, 11:01 am michelle so there’s this guy that i’m very much interested and i have just started talking with. things have been going good,but i’ve noticed i’m the only one asking questions trying to get to know him better.we text each other but he too takes hours to respond.before i read your article and watched the 7 secrets video. i sent him a text saying ” i have to be honest i feel like you’re losing interest in me.” should i have sent him that text? september 4, 2015, 11:10 am danielle the guy i like isn’t into texting. or so he says. but i do miss him a lot and would appreciate an answer during the same day! i get a response almost next morning or sometimes post 3am. he is always upto helping me out with anything i want and even when i ask for help studying, he quips “when do we start?!” what do i make of this? is he into me? is he not…? september 1, 2015, 3:10 am cindy hi, thanks for this article..i’m.confused :-/ and i’m would love some advice from military perspective. for me i had a really good chemistry with this person. everything was good….until he was informed about deployment. he told me he doesn’t do well with long distance relationship. i told him i understood his decision since i had that experience and didn’t blame him. but! the problem is that he’s the one ?and i told.him i loved him with all my heart. he questioned this expression because we’ve met for only 3 wks already in person, and about 1 month via text. i feel i scared him away :( that was not my intention. he told me he would think about what he wanted to do with our relationship. he left for a trip for 2 wks so i send him a message wishing him to have fun & to wishing he would come back safe. i didn’t hear back from him. a wk prior to sending him this last text i had send him a “good morning text” and i received a zero response :-/….help! august 2, 2015, 8:40 pm marina i totally understand and agree with what you are saying. however, he spends time texting and reaching out to his ex girlfriends, but doesn’t text me back. my texts are sweet, sexy, and fun. it’s frustrating when i do send him a question and he doesn’t but will to something stupid…selective replies. july 22, 2015, 10:06 pm krysta i don’t see why a guy needs a sexy picture if he’s having a bad day at work and ing to that than something else that was written in the article neediness is more girl stuck on an island not a lot of resources not because she needs to know why a guy isn’t texting her back when its his fault. july 19, 2015, 4:06 pm krysta what’s the problem ladies if the guy doesn’t text back for whatever reason is it gonna hurt to call him and get his attention that way? voice mail? blind women much granted that doesnt get returned with some are you that scared? all the he doesn’t text me back complaints problems july 19, 2015, 8:15 am edele a guy in my church was madly interested in me, but the church members in my congregation fiercely oppose to him dating me. to them he should choose another who are their friend. he no longer in my congregation, but, he is still interested. the church members lied about me, spread a bunch of lies. he’s good friend with them, but i don’t communicate with him. i called and texted him once, he hasn’t replied back. i occasionally see him. when he sees me i can tell that his world lights up. i believe i love this guy too very much. everywhere i go i carry him in my spirit. can i tell him how i feel about him? i want to move on. what do you suggest??? july 6, 2015, 6:52 pm louise the author sounds a bit dramatic!! mothers bring up children and deal with long phone calls and can manage a quick text instead of not responding. june 24, 2015, 4:47 am sacha i met this guy who play in the band. i thought that he was very handsome. we started talking and he asked me for my number. we started to text for a few weeks, all of the sudden he slow down on texting me and he never even ask me out or anything. he seem like he is trying to make me ask him out. last i texted him he never till now. should i be worried about or should i even ask him why he not really answering to my text anything. that was going to be my text to him “you seem to be very busy and i don’t want to be a bother to you. let me know if you still want to talk to me”. hvad skal jeg gøre? may 6, 2015, 12:18 pm crys hi eric, i met this amazing sweet man a few weeks ago in florida at a social club/hotel (i’m from ny, he lives in amsterdam & ny)… we realized that we had everything in common and could not stop hanging out together for the rest of the night. we made out, i went back to my room afterward. he called me in the morning (4 hours later) asked me to go running before he had to leave for the airport – i said no, he called again and came by to say goodbye and we made out. during the time we hung out he said that he loved that we both have 2 kids and that we could take our time getting to know each other. he texts me as he was boarding his plane and said he couldn’t wait to see me in ny. 1 week later he calls and texts. we’ve been exchanging sexy messages… he told me he wanted to spend the entire day with me and wake up to me… so things seemed to be exciting. i wrote him 2 semi long mssgs a few days ago telling him i’m excited to spend time together, and reflecting on the time we spent together the first night and he doesn’t respond. both mssgs sent during his work day, my off time. he’s a ceo and i’m a vp… he thought we were so compatible. why hasn’t he responded to my last mssgs? too long to respond to bc he’s too busy or losing interest? his last mssg to me before my 2 mssgs was – “i will not disappoint you”. (think its sex related bc his texts are pretty flirty/sexy). am i his ny girl? we’re both 40. he’s divorced and i’m single after a 2 year committed relationship. i just want to know so i can understand whether i should move on or keep him as an option. i know that my next move is to not reach out again. but should i forget him? what is happening? april 28, 2015, 7:44 pm amy basically i saw my ex boyfriend, we split up because of distance. i know he hasn’t been with anyone else and neither have i and when i saw him it was as if we were still together. i still have feelings for him, what do i do? april 17, 2015, 6:52 pm emma amy , you need to think about the reasons you broke up. if when you saw him it felt like you’d were together , you’s broke up the last time you’s were together. i’m not trying to be mean but if you see your ex again you should be wanting to get back together with him if he has changed or fixed the problem or the reason you’s broke up. if it feels the same as last time , it will en the same as last time august 26, 2015, 7:31 pm victoria i have never been the type of girl to worry if a guy answers my texts or not. then i meet this guy that’s really kind and before he asked me out we both had said that we didn’t want a relationship since we both had recently gotten out of one. we were good and he texted me all day, everyday. they were light, funny texts. around october, november he says he likes me but he didn’t want to push me into a relationship ( i’m 19 and he’s 22) so i told him that i liked him too and that we could take things slow to see if we would work out. after i said yes, his texts started to become sweeter but less, we wouldn’t text all the time like before. i had no problem since i’m in college and i never see him all the time either ( we’ve only seen each other once and that was in november). i try not to text him everyday so we only talk once maybe twice a week and it never long possibly 1 hour. i was on spring break last week and he said that he was going to text me to see when we could go out. he never texted me and, to not sound needy, i didn’t text him either. i sent him a text saying hi when i got back to school and he hasn’t answered( and that was on monday). i don’t want to push him so i haven’t sent another one, what do i do? do i still wait for him to answer? april 15, 2015, 8:24 pm emily hi eric! i’m a 19 year old female dating a guy age 30. i’m confused with his texting habits and the times we are seing each other. i’m so confused because i know he likes me but when it comes to seeing each other it almost never happens even though we text a lot and we’ve been having sex much too but lately he says he’s too busy to come see me and i know that i’m so busy too i can’t drop everything off my hand and anyways i told him we need to see each other more often and he indeed promised me that he will be better on that. but the thing is he has promised me a billion times since like 2 years! we have been on and off since then and we do have sexy conversations, i send him a lot of sexy pics and he sends me back, and then few days ago we both watched a kinky movie and i asked him if he have had kinky fabtasies about me and he ignored ing me. anyways this is not the first time he ignores me the weird thing is that he comes on and off all the time i don’t know why. i know he came out of a relationship like 3 months ago and i’ve been completely fine with his gf before i think he might be seeing her again but i am still ok with it. you see this is complicated can you try to answer me in the best way you can? tak! april 10, 2015, 2:24 pm confusded i can’t express in words what a breath of fresh air it is when a sexy woman appears on my phone and her fundamental message is: i want you to feel good. jeg vil have dig tændt. jeg vil have dig til at have mig. and if you think i’m being a pig with what i just said, i challenge you to find a man who disagrees – even the most feminized, wouldn’t-hurt-a-fly, harmless man would agree that if there’s a sexy girl sending him some alluring messages, you can be sure he’ll be all over that. guaranteed. ^^ thia is what i’ve read but i’m still confused because i am this woman and me and the guy i like and was friends with have been sexting for over a month we agreed fwb but haven’t met up recently due to distance all of a sudden he’s texting/sexting has diminished when i text him he either doenst respond or if he does it’s different i said if u don’t wanna talk to me anymore that’s fine just say but he didn’t say he doesn’t so what’s going on? lol march 16, 2015, 9:21 pm tyka snyder the guy always texts back and i sent him a naughty flirty text and he responded wow. and didn’t say more i asked him if i was being to forward; we’ve had sex but he seemed unsure and uncomfortable with me asking him what he liked or if he felt good and just got the same tense it feels good. its the only response he had; but was very affectionate, eye contact so he was interested. is he interested in more and my sexual behavior is making him nervous that im not or is he inexperienced possibly and doesn’t know how to respond or reciprocate? i’ve said naughty things before and he responded with words like proficient and oral and bj. march 15, 2015, 2:10 am mich confused as i can possibly be. our phone conversations are fantastic – we talk about everything, very in depth conversations about different things. now i haven’t heard from him in more than a day and i literally have no idea why that is. we usually text every day – he recently had a large work project which he told me he would me very unavailable, so i didn’t expect any texts but he would still send me something during the day just a quick “i miss you” or “thinking of you”. he is back, we have texted and talked by phone then yesterday – nothing – for the first time in 3 months – absolutely nothing. i text him yesterday day morning to say i hoped his meetings went well and that i knew he would be awsome in his work and that i was thinking of him. he has just started a new personal project that he is working on and we have talked about extensively. and now nothing!!!! he has told me he more than cares for me and that one day it’s just all going to come spilling out. he and i talk about the unusual connection we both feel and on and on. i am just so torn because i have feelling for this person and from everything he has said, he does as well. i have not text him since yesterday morning and i do not plan to. i feel like the ball is in his court at this point. i just enjoy him so much and as i said, i care for him. i have a very full life myself so i am busy with projects of my own. so i understand very much being busy. i just find it odd that during his other busy times, he still found a second to send me a quick message and now….????? i have told him how those little messages make me feel special and how much i appreciate him taking the time to send me that to let me know he is thinking of me. almost as soon as i acknowledged those things – he hasn’t done it. he asks me if i am happy – and i answer that i am – because i am a happy person – i don’t rely on him to make me happy – he ads to my happiness however, which perhaps i should tell him that in that way, i usually just answer that questions with a “yes, i am”. and i have been, until right now – i am utterly confused – my heart feels like a small hole has formed for some crazy reason. help!!!!!!!! february 13, 2015, 8:39 am cheryl my bf works out of town so when he is away i uaually get a short 5-10 minute phone call daily that’s it. but there are a couple times where i haven’t heard from him for2 days. it makes me feel w isn’t into me or there is someone else. when he is home i am with him all the time so i’m totally confuaed and vwry worried…..helppppp february 7, 2015, 2:15 pm gabriela cano okay so this guy is a freshman in college and i’m a junior in high school i’ve liked him for the longest time and i started to snap chat him he would respond but it was like a normal conversation. i feel like he doesn’t want to talk to me because he takes a long time to respond. how do i make him message me more and make him interested in me? january 29, 2015, 11:12 am clare i met a guy and we met on a friday night which is rare to begin with. he then preceded to ask me out saturday night so all was good. we went out the next 2 weekends and started to talk about my personal life. i am in a situation similar to a situation that he just got out of with a 5 year gf. as soon as he found out my mom lived with me he told me he needed time. a few days time is what he said he needed, but i couldn’t let it go, i kept hounding him and text bombing him. he has not replied to any of my texts for a week now. is there any chance of getting him back? january 28, 2015, 4:35 pm andrea hi my case is a bit different. this guy with whom i had a veery long time affair (age difference of 15 year, he being 25 and me 40, so we couldn´t be gf and bf) used to text me every day and quite often as he lived far away (other city 7 hours away) from where i live. he moved now only 40 min away and said he was afraid of us becoming too close and he also realized he wanted a girlfriend as he thinks he is missing something in life by not having a real relationship. so we kind of “split” and obviously his texts are rather dry and he doesn´t text as often as before. he write one day he still like me and he wanted to see me to clarify things….still we didn´t see each other as he didn´t suggest it. i stop writing to him because i don´t want to be either pushy or seem needy and i still like him but i miss him and miss his messages. i decided to leave him alone and break contact unless he wants to write…which is what i would like. sounds really dumm as the difference of ages is really big and eventually he will leave, i guess. january 22, 2015, 5:48 am charmaine almost the same situation as yours. as confused as you. would love to know what your outcome was/ is.???? september 22, 2015, 5:57 am sarah it seems your article is suggesting that we adapt ourselves to suit the needs of men. “orient your mind toward giving him what he likes ,not on what you want to get from him” a relationship is give and take. i don’t believe any relationship should be prohibiting in anyway for any of the participants, the point is a guy shouldn’t have to text you as a chore..i.e. if he would prefer to be doing something else then he shouldn’t be prohibited from doing that. if he stops texting then he is either playing it cool or would simply rather being doing something else. if a man used to text all the time and showed love and affection then suddenly stops it is probably one of those two reasons. i think my boyfriend of two years has started preferring to do something else, that is fine. it is your mission to find out why your boyfriend has stopped texting. once you know you can make an informed decision on whether or not you want to carry on with them. perhaps you like the chase or perhaps you don’t like to feel second best, you decide. january 4, 2015, 5:45 pm rachel you’re a sexist pig. women are people too. you must be a republican or something. what kind of advice is this? december 23, 2014, 1:36 pm eric charles i say several times in the article that this stuff could apply just as easily to a man as a woman. so, that’s kind of the opposite of a sexist… i mean, yeah, i’m going to address an audience of women because this is a women’s site, but i repeatedly, explicitly write that i’m talking about behaviors that men and women mistakenly do and it has the same damaging effect regardless of gender. when i write something, i write the kind of thing i would want someone to tell my sister if she was hurting and needed help with this question. so that means i’m going to write what i believe would help someone i love — even if it means saying things that might not fit within what’s politically correct to say. if it meant helping make sure i get a loved one out of pain, you can be damned sure i’m going to say it. you don’t like my opinion – no problem. there are plenty of sites that will pander to whatever you want to hear… regardless of whether or not its helpful or even damaging to your love life — they don’t care, they just want your clicks so they can sell ad space. i’m doing my best to help women get real results and escape the vortex of bad or harmful advice in magazines, tv shows, movies, books, etc. if all these messages out there were good for women, my site wouldn’t be the huge success that it is. i’m grateful that it’s a success — someone needs to say the tough things that nobody else wants to talk about. so i took the time to write this comment… not for you, but for everyone here who sees the difference between this site and all the other websites out there. i can’t please everyone, but for everyone who appreciates what i try to do here… thank you. october 18, 2015, 1:49 am kim hi eric, i’m in no relationship right now. i’m on a dating site and matched well with a guy. as we messaged, he stated, we have a lot in common. he asked to start texting so we did. in two weeks we sent pic’s of ourselves his were naked, he called min sexy, ckassy, he loves them, and had phone sex twice. he keeps saying we need to meet, when we set a day and time he was getting sick. fine, i believe him. you suggested a sexy pic. good idea. it’s fun, but is there a way to ask him if he still wants to get to know me? and, what is the standard of getting to know one another if the dating sites are where i’m meeting guys. i understand he and other guys are tired from work and are busy on days off and talking to other women on the site. thank you for your time, kim december 17, 2014, 12:17 am kim hi eric, i’m in no relationship right now. i’m on a dating site and matched well with a as we messaged, he stated, we have a lot in common. he asked to start texting so we did. in two weeks we sent pic’s of ourselves and had phone sex twice. he keeps saying we need to meet, when we set a day and time he was getting sick. fine, i believe him. you suggested a sexy pic. good idea. it’s fun, but is there a way to ask him if he still wants to get to know me? and, what is the standard of getting to know one another if the dating sites are where i’m meeting guys. i understand he and other guys are tired from work and are busy on days off and talking to other women on the site. thank you for your time, kim december 17, 2014, 12:11 am tee how would i know im his confessional? like what sort of things would he tell me? examples please december 15, 2014, 3:59 am sanabhat i broke up with my bf 7 months ago and it was my fault. but then i even apologized to him on facebook but he didnt . then yesterday after 7months i phoned him and again apologized and asked him to patchup with me. he accepted my apology but didnt accept to patchup. then i sent him a friend request and he accepted it. but when i messaged him, he didnt . please tell me what should i do. i strongly want him back. i’ll appreciate your help. stay blessed! december 5, 2014, 7:20 am stacy hi eric, i’m stuck and not sure if you can help but i thought i’d give it a shot. so me and my ex(it’s complicated) met at a party in may. i was 22 and he was 19. what i thought was a one night stand turned out to be a relationship. he said he’s faithful and doesn’t do one night stands and wanted to get to know me (he was drunk when he said this). anyways after a month of friends with benefits and me slightly pressuring him on making me out, we started dating. although the relationship still seemed like friends with benefits just with the added title. we would mostly hangout at my apartment, have sex, and then he would leave, everytime! i confronted him about this and he’s said it was because of his parents, even though he was an adult he had a curfew, even though it was usually around 2am when he would leave. things were good though he made me feel good about myself, would always make me laugh, even bought me flowers after a small fight we had. then it started going downhill when august came around. he goes to school in another state and we both knew that soon we wouldn’t be able to spend time like this anymore. he started hanging out with his friends more and bailing on plans with me. along with that other things about his personality started to bother me so a week before i confronted him on how our relationship was not working out and how i wasn’t happy anymore i felt like he didn’t care about me like he used to. this talk was so heartbreaking, he started crying which made me start crying and we came to the decision to break up but still talk to each other to see if the long distance thing could work. he didn’t want the clean break because he said he loved me but hated how i always got mad at little things. so we left it at that. since then we barely talked up until this week when he came home for thanksgiving break. upon his arrival all i got was a snapchat saying he was back in town. i asked where he was and he replied saying he was at his friends. that night i awkwardly saw him for 2 seconds and left to go downtown to the bars with my friends. he said his phone was dead so when i get back i should text his friend. so i did when i got back and him and his friends were all still hanging out. i stayed up waiting for him to come over but he never showed. he texted me at 4 am saying he found a charger, and i replied by asking if he was coming over. he didn’t for 2 days. so i got depressed and decided i would not text him back. (i know this is my flaw, i’m a spiteful person) so after the 2 days he sent a text asking “what are you doing late tonight?” i thought it was a booty call and didn’t feel like responding anyways. the next night he asked if i wanted to come to a party, then what i was doing, and then attempted to call me but i ignored it. today i texted him and asked when he was planning on leaving and his was that he already left. and this conversation lead to all the issues we had in our relationship. he doesn’t make me feel appreciated and/or loved because he doesn’t show that he cares. his words>”nothing is good enough for you, you hold ridiculous standards, and you get mad for the smallest reasons”. in my heart i know i should end it because we’re obviously not good for each other but at the same time i’m pretty sure i love him and think maybe he’ll mature when he’s older. since he’s still 19 and i’m now 23. i do care about him a lot and he says the same for me. do you think we could learn to accept each others flaws/ mistakes or should we just completely end things? november 30, 2014, 10:31 pm jess hi, ok so i was at our normal sports bar for football and they happen to have another boyncer there helping. totally not my type but he caught my eye. we made eye contact all day but never talked. as me and my friends were walking out he came all the way out to the parking not in front of my friends to ask for my number. i was completly shocked! i normally do not meet or talk to guys when out and wasnt really looking fir any relationship. but i was like wow to go through all that ill give him a shot. we texted small talk that night at he disappearred….. the next week saw him again, hesaid he was glad i came in….he dropped that night and lost my #. i also changed mine. we texted a little throughout that day, and lil after he didnt seem big on texting. asked few times if wants to hang out or come over and just wasnt happening. he had recently gotten out of yr long relationship that didnt end well. she cheated… he approched my friends at time i wasnt there to ask about me. he then came to see me that night we did end up hooking up that night. then again distant with the text. he does work full time very busy job so i wasnt concerned, he would go days with no contact. we hung out a two other times kinda same thing not much contact. he did tell me going things with court, buying house and work. then we hung out and was telling ne he wanted to help me financially and have a baby settle down… we talk lil over that week. we make plans for dinner and movie night….at home. he texts on his way, then his cousin breaks down… he says he will be here soon as he can, no response the night or nexr day. i was really upset, figured i just wasnt priority and i was done not going to contact….. he calls 4th day my phone broke i am sorry i just got new phone. mske plans he comes over next day. i said he talked to his cousin and cuz we never said excludive he didnt just want to show up. if ever happens again just come over no one here, dont leave me hanging and wondering ok,i promise… so we make plans for few days later i go to normal hang out he working everything fine. he gonna play pool and come over in lil while no worries, ill go home make dinner see u in a bit. kiss goodbye all fine….. few hrs later text hows going are u coming still? yes and he was ready for dinner ok come whenever…. few more hrs… hows going? nothing, hr u change ur mind? no he playing in tournoment. ok good luck… see you in a bit. he has not texted or called or snswered phone in 3days. i pretty much have talked myself into that he is not into me enough that i am not priority. i feel like if u like someone u show them. he tells me when with me but it us lije if not here i am not on his mind. i dont get why bother? why tell me all the bs and my friends. he really not ready? or not into me? november 26, 2014, 6:52 am jess i forgot to add…… i have a 2yr old son. he has met and adores. i have not contacted him since the dsy aftet no show i just said how are you? nothiing…. november 26, 2014, 7:03 am stephanie i sent this guy a funny picture on monday night after all weekend of not texting. he never replied to that text. i just thought it’d be something funny to share with him. i haven’t texted him since. october 21, 2014, 11:35 pm pav eric hi,so i met this guy on line two months ago. we started chatting regularly and eventually he gave me his phone number. i didn’t use it and instead gave him mine. it took him only couple of days to contact met. since then we were texting each other pretty much non-stop all day. and most of the time it was him texting first. eventually after three weeks we arrange a meeting in person. that was four weeks ago. during these four weeks he`d come to see me (he lives 30miles away) every night or every second night and we even spent our days off together. he was so into me and so opened about his feelings towards me. he always wanted to know how i feel about him and he tend to discuss the previous day via txts. he was the one who wanted to establish the relationship straight away (which i thought was a bit weird tbh) making sure that we are exclusive so i wouldn’t date other guys. then he wanted me to tell my friends about him. well eventually i did as we seemed to get on better an better. i thought he was quite sensitive and insecure as he kept telling me how he feels and asking me how i see things. reading between lines it was like he doubted that i could like him. i didn’t get it. he was this typical good looking, cocky football player who spend a lot of time at the gym and posing in front of a mirror. which i thought was hilarious and i kept laughing every time i saw him doing that. he kept talking about me meeting his children (he has 3) and his family. and also about our future. quite frankly i thought it was all too quick but i never said a word. then last weekend he came down to see me (even met two of my girlfriends) and we had a good time as always. he left on sunday saying that he has a busy week ahead of him and if possible he`d come and see me in the middle of the week. i was completely fine with that. so as usual we spent all monday texting each other although i though he was a bit distant in his text which i thought was due to his busy work load. on tuesday he texted less saying he had no signal( which occasionally happened as he also works as gas engineer) and apologised saying he had a long bad day at work and not to ask. so i didn’t ask and just said that its ok that i understand. since then i`ve not heard from him. i texted him couple of times but no . its been, ,only,, few days but its very unlike him not to text at all. so i am really confused as i don’t know what`s happening. october 4, 2014, 12:06 pm lisa i’ve been texting a guy i’ve met online for months! he pursued me with se viral messages before i ever responded. now i feel like there is chemistry and he only texts sporadically at best. we haven’t physically met. he wanted to “finally meet by swinging by my place at 1 am?!? uhm…no way. i didn’t go for that. should i walk away or is he interested? i’m clueless. hjælp venligst! october 2, 2014, 10:38 pm hailey i did exactly what u said and sent him a sexy pic. he read it and did not respond i waited several days to talk to him then i sent him a message saying hey hows it going and shockingly he responded and then in the middle of the conversation he stopped and he didnt read the message yet now im waiting a day or two for him to open it. hes on facebook, im not sure what to do? should i leave him alone? ask him for an answer? let me know august 27, 2014, 12:27 am c what a load of crap – you are such a self important git. “i so important and busy so i’ll only respond to texts that make me horny” lame august 19, 2014, 9:05 pm yeny makes sooo much sense now!!! wow august 14, 2014, 12:36 am teresa we had a 4 year very rocky relationship, we tried to commit and be engaged but it felt so wrong and awkward, we finally broke up and usually when we fight we text for days debating and trying to figure out how to change and stay together, this time he hasn’t responded or called at all. i’m worried he moved on, what to do? august 3, 2014, 11:57 pm tania is there anyway i can write personally to you? you know, just to get private answers on my questions. july 20, 2014, 11:46 am claire been dating an older guy for 3 months, speaking most days on line. he is from usa never been married and no children. things in my mind very going very well.. he told me he was invested with the relation and he even came all the way from the usa to visit travel time 36 hours. we spent 5 great days together and and met up since. we talk almost everyday.. here is where i need help. i have never been needy until out last meet up he was leaving to do a dangerous job ie gone into a war zone you can only imagine. he told me he would contact me when he reached there( never did.. i sent one message saying hey i hope you made it.. first one was to skype and no .. second was to what’s app he replied i did make it a lot going on will get in touch with you soon.. it’s been 3 weeks and nothing i have backed off completely ..as i am unsure if he has or if he needs space due to his job and what he dealing with. how long do i wait i have no closure. please advise, this man seems far to mature not to put closure on what we have we were even planning on me going to see him in the us. july 20, 2014, 9:35 am tj hi eric, thank you for the wonderful advice! a few weeks ago i was driving myself crazy thinking i had done something wrong. i’m playing the waiting game right now and every time i feel like texting or calling, i read your articles again to drum it into my brain to stop! i’ll update when he comes around, but in the mean time, i’m keeping busy with my own stuff! july 2, 2014, 6:45 pm stephanie i don’t know how i have never read your advice columns before, but these have made me feel like i know more than ever before. so i have been talking to this guy that i met online in january. we have not met yet because i was away at school and only just got home. he initiated the relationship and used to be incredibly attentive to me. he would text me, sext me, call me…it was great. all of a sudden he says we are moving too fast and now he rarely texts me at all. he doesn’t answer my texts some times and it makes me crazy because he claims to want to talk to me more and meet me but i don’t know what to think. hjælp venligst. june 4, 2014, 11:19 am lans hi eric i don’t know how i didn’t read your columns before lol.. i think you are the love guru and i am reading your articles now for the first time coz i am going through a break-up myself at the moment. i had this problem: i didn’t know what else to do this guy to text me back. to my dismay i have broken up with this guy but by reading your article made me see clearly some of my own mistakes and i do want to thank you for your advice. it has helped me a lot today. cheers from oz. may 26, 2014, 5:27 am l i went on a trip with a guy. i know he’s busy from witnessing first hand the demand of his job. after the trip i texted him hi one day and he responded headed to dinner with a client i hope all is well. the next week i tested him with i know you’re stressed and pressured feel better. he responded the next day early in the morning with traveling sorry my text isn’t working great outside the us. i hope all is well. he told me he did have to go out of town internationally and domestically for work. he even warned this would busy month. but the i hope all is well confuses me may 11, 2014, 5:50 am rachel i love you so much in my heart may 10, 2014, 12:55 pm la meant to say “responding” not “resounding.” october 24, 2013, 4:13 pm la i just had to leave a comment on this issue… i was seeing a guy who was doing the exact same thing: texting all the time, showering me with attention, etc. i noticed after a while, we texted less and less, and pretty soon i was texting him and he would take hours, sometimes a full day to respond! i realized after doing some research on this site that i was way too readily available for him. i wasn’t making him chase me. i wasn’t making him sweat it out wondering what i’m doing and why i’m not resounding. i decided that i needed to back off the neediness factor 100%. it was really hard not texting him and wondering what i could have done wrong, and wishing i could go back in time and redo it all. but i stayed strong and kept myself busy. after exactly one week of silence, he texted me! he apologized and said he has been so busy… he asked if i’m doing ok… he responded to my texts within minutes–not hours or days! i suddenly felt a huge shift in power in our relationship. i was making him chase me… and he liked it! i’m telling you ladies… this really worked. i got my second chance to “redo” everything. and now i always keep my cool. i will be the first to talk tohim once in a while, but i usually wait for him to come to me. i thought i was being rude at first by doing this, but men are weird. he is actually drawn to me more the less i act like i want him. Prøv det. it will suck at first, but if your guy is anything like mine, your silence will act like a magnet and draw him right back to you! october 24, 2013, 4:11 pm maureen i think this is an ok article, but fails to answer the most important part! and that is, of you are in an established committed love relationship, and he initiated 15 texts a day, and multiple e-mails a day, and multiple phone calls a day, and then gets “too busy” to even connect at all, that’s what seems to make even the strongest most independent women “needy”… it’s when men change their attentiveness that women ask questions… and that shift in the man’s behavior was not addressed in this article… every woman knows that being busy and involved in their own lives is a healthy thing to do and a good way to be, but when your bf or fiancée pulls away and gives less and stops texting or responding to your attempts at quick easy connection, yes, sometimes that makes a normally and still independent strong woman ask questions! it’s not needy, it’s curiosity! shifts in behavior prick away at foundations of trust… an occasional lapse or the odd shift in behavior (a one-off), no problem, but the wholesale changing of entire relationship and love connection patterns deserves some explanation… and i didn’t hear that in this article… august 17, 2013, 12:07 pm eva well said! july 17, 2014, 3:29 am tegan yea, well said. but i feel everything you say is true even when your not in a relationship. when your just talking to them, you still want to at least know why. anyways, i don’t think the author of this article, eric, is actually reading these comments…. august 24, 2015, 11:13 pm eric charles oh, i do… ;) problem is that there are so many that i get (in addition to e-mails, facebook messages, etc.) on top of my actual day-to-day work that i can’t always respond… if i do respond, i want my response to be a great response and not half-baked… when a comment is a lot of text i just don’t always have the time to read it. plus a new mode has such a great community that oftentimes someone from the audience will provide an answer. but yes… i do read the comments and whenever i can, i do respond. august 25, 2015, 5:59 pm kaz hi..eric could u say something about maureen’s comment..it would shed some light and clarify alot.. september 16, 2015, 9:14 am penny when he finally texts you how long should you wait to text him back? minutes, hours days?? mine is the typical story where he used to test me atleast once a day if not more. now 6 months into casually dating (we’re not exclusive) his texts are getting less and less frequent. we are both in our 50’s (if age is a factor..lol) tia!! august 16, 2013, 6:10 am elle eric, my guy went from texting every day to going mia for a couple of days after i told him how i felt about him. i realized in reading this article that when i told him i liked him, it was for him and not for me…so while i would have liked a i didn’t need it to feel secure about his feelings. ok, maybe i was a tiny bit worried about whether he would because he could have gone into the freak out phase. you were right, the sexy text did the trick. it took 3 minutes for him to get back to me after 2 days of radio silence. it felt good to give him something nice to look at during his long work day :) thanks! <3 elle august 1, 2013, 5:14 pm joann it’s cuz he only wants sex from you, that’s y he responds to sexy pics and sexting almost immediately. i have figured this out from experience. i can be busy as hell but take 5 seconds to respond to say, i’ll get back with u asap or when i get home. if he doesn’t it’s cuz he’s busy getting other sexts and pics believe it! this article is just an excuse for guys but in many ways true. it’s a guy telling us what most guys think and feel and it’s all in their crotch evidently right eric? january 16, 2016, 8:43 am linda hi eric, i have disagree with you. i think that we often make too many excuses for men, saying how differently wired they are, when really, all humans are the same. if a woman/man wants a woman/man, rest assured that he/she will not lose an opportunity to communicate with her/him. now if we take an extreme case where the woman/man is really busy at work…at the worse point she/he would saying that they can’t chat now but will reach out later during the day. i truly believe that a real grown up relationship should work that way…otherwise the woman/man is definitely not that into the other person. @eric, ask yourself and please be honest (i know that you like being straightforward) if that woman was indeed the one* (let me clarify the one, wouldn’t want you to think that i am stuck in a disney movie ending). the one: being a woman that you would consider as a serious long term partner, that you would be proud to introduce to your family and with whom you could see yourself having children. would you really risk losing the relationship by blaming not responding to a text because you are busy. when i justify an action by me being busy, it usually means, sorry dude i consider that the things that i am doing at work right to be of a higher priority and interest than you are. this was me being brutally honest. now it doesn’t mean that i wouldn’t care for that person intimately on a superficial level…it just means that since they are not a long term investment for me or possibly because i am not at that stage of commitment… this text was only to point out that at times we blame women for coming out as needy and dependent but really i have been in a few relationships where men were needy as well. after having experienced those needy men, i came to the conclusion that they came off needy to me simply because i didn’t care enough about them to make them feel confident about the relationship, again simply because i didn’t us in the long term; momentary distraction. june 1, 2013, 11:43 am mia well said and agreed! it’s all about common courtesy and the respect you have for a person. unless you have a career that requires you to be without your phone, there is no excuse that you can go 24 hours plus without responding back to someone’s text message. the advice given to females is to not act needy, yet then we are given advice that makes excuses for guys not responding…sure, sure it is possible that a guy was just busy when you texted him, but more times than most a man will make time to respond to you. that response can be “hey, i’ll text you later, kinda busy right now,” or a response to continue the conversation but the point is people don’t just put people off that they are interested in, in fear that the person will lose interest in them. by not saying this, but making an excuse for the guys texting habit only leaves many woman to assume everything’s alright with the guy they like and that he feels the same way about them, it is until they begin to see the mixed signals–like infrequent to long wait response times–that they can begin to exemplify signs of neediness. yes, neediness is a mental and often emotional projection, but many people become needy in these relationships when they are led to believe they are close to achieving what they want (as in closing the deal and having the man/woman of their dreams be their gf/bf). simply put you don’t want women to be needy but then you tell the poor girl to continue contacting this man and subconsciously making him her priority when he’s giving signs he doesn’t see her the same way? oh that’s the key to making a needy woman. july 14, 2013, 4:17 am anderson spot on october 13, 2014, 11:45 pm changed i used be the type of girl who got worried when a guy didn’t text back but now i don’t care cause i realised if a guy is really into you he will text you and we all get busy. i used to look at my phone at times hoping he would read my brain signals. the first think i have learnt with my new job is texts can be distracting especially when you’re in the middle of a line of thought trying to do your duties at work. you want to text back but you don’t respond as you get caught up in whatever you’re doing and the texting can drag on, sometimes you’re tired you want to respond but your so stressed out that you just want piece and lastly it can be hard at times, i know with myself i admit i have been faced with this dilemma one to many times if a guy is that into he will text you when his free. eric i think this logic applies to both men and women .thanks to your straight out truth i have come to not care so much as i did before if a guy liked text me because what is worrying going to do nothing and really ladies do we want to spend time messaging the guy who doesn’t put any effort at all and just cut our loses before we realise he is just not that into me or wait until the right one comes along who makes the effort and is really into us. june 1, 2013, 8:19 am merelyn yeah but what about if someone is hard of hearing and/or dead dating a man who can hear perfectly fine??? may 31, 2013, 1:00 am merelyn i mean deaf* lol not dead! may 31, 2013, 1:07 am sophia i dont know eric. its incredible to believe men arent into texting or that they are all busy as you are because we live in a technological era. texting is all we do. men, woman evenly. men may not text long emotional texts with their buddies, but they text. woman in the other hand text and we can never have enough of the long texting thing. i usually prefer e mailing than texting. i love computers and i hate cell phones. all we want is that they show us some signs that they are still alive. maybe 1 text a day asking us about our day. they just cant spend days not talking to us because that means they are treating us like their buddies, they arent showing us genuine interest. they are treating us like one of them. that is all we want. the main problem with all of this (and i think that life will be much easier for everbody) is that men dont know how to treat woman. they dont know how we connect. periode. may 23, 2013, 12:39 am