Spørg en fyr: Hvordan får jeg ham til at jage mig igen?

john er en fyr og alt dette b.s. Jeg ser online om kvinder, der jagter mænd, er et stort nej nej er komplet b.s. mænd og kvinder vil begge have en partner, de kan stole på, på et bestemt tidspunkt er begge køn blevet såret og mistet tilliden til andre, så folk lukker ned eller lægger mure, bange, bevogtet osv. det er svært for mænd at forfølge kvinder og samfundet har det i dag, der er en tynd linje mellem at vise for meget interesse og eller opføre sig dumt (spille spil) godt lad mig fortælle dig, når du læser artikler som dette, spil dumme spil vind dumme præmier !!! hvis du kan lide en fyr, så lad ham vide det, handle normalt og vær dig selv ingen spil .... ingen minipulation !! mænd bliver hip til den slags behandling virkelig hurtigt, det er en turnoff, fyr vil aldrig stole på dig igen, ikke alle vil matche hinanden, men hvis du er ærlig om, hvem du er, og han er ikke det enkle, fortsætter du med ingen spil! hvis du vil ringe til ham, så ring til ham! hvis du kan lide ham, så fortæl ham! hvis han fungerer som en a & $ så er han ikke fyren, det er så simpelt, men hold dig aldrig tilbage og spil ikke hårdt for at få, medmindre du er din super grimme, og det er alt hvad du har, fordi kun mænd, der er interesseret i slynger og sex, har tid og patienter til at vente rundt, fordi han har andre, bliver du legetøjet .... så ikke svært at få, medmindre du er villig til at blive spillet tidligt eller hurtigt nok ... være dig og vis, hvad du vil, hvis han ikke går ind i det, til sidst finder du nogen, der vil have chancer, er det vil være en, som du troede, du ikke ville have ønsket i første omgang ... vær ikke opmærksom på disse bs artibles deres forvirrende kvinder .... folk spiller mange spil, som det er ... ..vis dine kort og tag det let med alt, hvad der er til det. 4. november 2018, 1:11 am wtf hvorfor vil du få ham til at chace dig, hvis du vil have ham, efter at du har afvist ham, hvorfor siger du ikke bare det og hold op med at spille spil. wtf er forkert med verden i disse dage? 28. september 2018, 13:55 megan min kæreste på 3 år (vi brød op et stykke tid, men begge besluttede, at vi ville arbejde på tingene igen) begyndte for nylig at tale til andre piger på tinder. hævder, at han bare chatter, fordi han keder sig. han fik mig til at læse meddelelserne, og de er helt uskyldige, men jeg er stadig ikke okay med det udelukkende på grund af at det er på tinder et dating / tilslutningswebsted. hvordan får jeg ham til at stoppe? han har også for nylig taget beslutninger om ting, han ved, vil irritere mig og gør det alligevel. og er nu begyndt at lyve eller skjule det. Jeg finder ud af det hver gang, men han gør det stadig! hvordan får jeg ham til at stoppe? Jeg ønsker ikke at skulle rejse (det gør det også svært, da vi har en virksomhed sammen). hvad skal jeg gøre!! Jeg har brug for seriøs hjælp her. jeg er så såret og forvirret. 6. juni 2017, 17:25 mig hvis han ikke holder op med at gøre noget, som du med rimelighed ikke vil have ham til at gøre, respekterer han dig ikke. selvfølgelig handler han rundt efter en anden kæreste. hvis han overhovedet skjuler noget for dig, så er denne situation tydeligvis en vittighed. hvis han ryster sine vaner og vågner op og beslutter at være en ægte mand, der sætter en ære i sin kvinde og hans forpligtelse over for hende, så er han ikke værd at gøre ondt og forvirring. Jeg ville komme ud af den situation. 25 juni 2017, 10:46 mig Jeg mener, hvis han ikke ryster sine vaner osv. held og lykke og være stærk. 25. juni 2017, 10:48 kazz nogen råd til dem af os, der er på vej mod et langdistance-facebook-forhold? .. det lyder vanvittigt, når jeg skriver det ... Jeg er ret tæt på en fyr, jeg gik i skole med, han havde inviteret mig på en rejse om et par måneder, og vi er enige om, at vi tænker på hinanden hele tiden, han har haft nogle dybe tab i sit liv, den ene er hans søn .. han indser, at han nogle gange kører varmt og koldt ved kommunikation, og jeg skubber det ikke..han sagde, at han prøvede ikke at føle sig skyldig over at være lykkelig på grund af sin nærhed med mig, fordi hans søn ikke lever Jeg kan forstå det til en grad .. Jeg ville bare ønske, at han til tider ville være lidt mindre fjern. andre gange taler vi i timevis og sender hinanden sange ... jeg er helt forvirret .. han siger, at han ikke vil være single for evigt .. hjælp! Jeg vil ikke skubbe ham væk. tak. 19. april 2017, 05:59 deseree jeg daterede en fyr i cirka 4 måneder den første måned var helt fantastisk, vi så hinanden hver dag indtil 3-4 i morgen nogle gange 7 om morgenen. godt jeg ville vente, indtil mine børn sov, så få ham til at komme hen, og vi ville hænge udenfor. hurtigt frem fortalte jeg ham en gang, at jeg hader at tænke over. han fortalte mig, at jeg ikke havde nogen grund til at tænke for meget, at han i løbet af den sidste måned har haft nogle ret stærke følelser for mig, han vil ikke have noget at skifte mellem os, han havde bare meget på hans tallerken. godt fire dage senere sendte vi sms'er om visse ting, og jeg spurgte ham, om han nogensinde ville fortælle mig, om han mistede interessen (han er en ret ærlig fyr), han sagde ja, men han følte, at han ikke havde tid til et forhold. få tekst efter det og havde spurgt, hvor det efterlod os, og han sagde, at han endnu ikke var sikker. men vi lavede de korte søde tekster i ca. 2n halv uge uden at se hinanden, da vi begyndte at se hinanden igen efter det. godt nu tingene er gode vi ser hinanden 3/4 gange i løbet af ugen. så pludselig bliver han fjern. men jeg spørger ikke noget, jeg lader ham intinere tekst ect ect. der går dag ét uden nogen tekst den næste dag, jeg brød og sms, hvordan han gjorde det, var kort. den følgende dag intet. men den næste morgen sms'ede han mig og sagde. “God morgen, så jeg må være ærlig. Jeg kan ikke lide den måde, vi har set hinanden på, og jeg har ignoreret, og dig, det er heller ikke sejt, undskyld, hvis det var for at blive sløv, men jeg er sikker på, at du har spekuleret på, hvad der foregår. Jeg skrev ham efter min mening. timer senere den aften smsede han mig og sagde ok ok, jeg endelig fik det hjem, der kørte suget (fordi han har og arbejder ude af byen to timer hjemmefra hele ugen), kastede det mig, for jeg tog det som han troede intet var sket tidligere den morgen. så jeg svarede bare, jeg vedder på, at det gjorde det. så en time senere spurgte jeg ham, hvad han mente, han fortalte mig, at han ikke ville være i et forhold. knuste mit hjerte, da jeg hørte disse ord igen. to gange! i en periode på fire måneder, hvor vi opfører os som om et par har en costco-konto sammen, lavede jeg hans datter til en stor banket med slik til hendes eksamen. alle parret skriver ting. men da han sagde disse ord, var jeg som okay senere sagde han, at han ”vi kan stadig være venner, du kender, jeg hader dig ikke, det er ikke, at jeg ikke kan lide dig eller noget” ah jeg er i venzone ! så havde han spurgt om hans ting der er hjemme hos mig. Jeg fortalte ham, at han ville få det. men for nylig har vi ikke haft tid til at mødes for at få hans ting tilbage. det er den eneste gang, han sender sms til mig, når han kommer hjem og siger, at han er hjemme, når det er en god tid. selvfølgelig svarer jeg ikke med det samme. men det har været 2 weekend senere og i løbet af ugen hører jeg ikke fra ham, og jeg sender heller ikke sms til ham. han kunne godt lide et billede af min søn og jeg på fb. Jeg ved ikke, hvad jeg skal gøre, jeg troede, det var ham, forbindelsen var så stærk! hvad kan jeg gøre ? hvilke handlinger skal jeg tage? 13. august 2016, 14:31 ana Jeg datede online, indtil vi endelig mødtes, vi blev koncerteret, men når jeg spørger ham, hvilken type forhold han ledte efter ... afslappet eller stabil, han bliver ked af det, og nu har han ingen besked eller telefonopkald. hvad er dit forslag? hvad skal jeg gøre nu? ana 21. juni 2016, 18:11 allie jeg havde troet, at jeg ville prøve mig på online dating, tog det ikke meget seriøst og prøvede egentlig bare at møde nogle nye mennesker og få venner. Jeg havde været i kontakt med en fyr, der virkede meget ægte og forklarede sin situation. han prøvede bare at gøre det samme og ledte lidt efter noget lidt mere seriøst. vi kom godt overens og slog virkelig i gang (dette er naturligvis alt over sms) han var temmelig vedholdende og smsede mig konstant i cirka en uge. så blev det bare lidt mærkeligt, han smsede mig ikke så meget og virkede lidt fjernt. derfor havde jeg sagt noget, som jeg virkelig fortryder, at jeg opfordrede ham til ikke at have nogen interesse i mig mere. Jeg skræmte ham væk, og det er indlysende, at vi nu aldrig mødes personligt. er der nogen chance i helvede, jeg nogensinde vil høre fra ham? bare nysgerrig efter en mands ærlige, upartiske mening. 8. januar 2016, 19:13 alicia tak allie for din historie, det samme er sket med mig stort set. har gået over i mit hoved, hvor eller hvad der gik galt. det er interessant at læse en historie, når du kan forholde dig til den, jeg vil bare gå videre. det er svært, fordi du spekulerer på mulighederne. alt det bedste 11. januar 2016, 18:59 mig mig også. bare pludselig koldt. Jeg regnede med, at jagten var komplet, og fyren besluttede at vende tilbage til sin rygskrabe og boogieplukning. de er ikke alle de fyrster, vi vil have dem til at være lol! heldigvis tillod dette mig at finde nogen bedre til mig. 25 juni 2017, 10:51 am kristie Jeg har set en kollega i gang i de sidste ni måneder. Jeg har skubbet ham væk med mig, når jeg prøver at spille denne hårde rolle, jeg er ligeglad. denne følelse af sikkerhed får fat i mig nogle gange, når alle disse kvinder er i hans ansigt. han siger, det er sådan, de er, han er en flink fyr. for nylig sendte han sms-beskeder til mig, og jeg ignorerede ham i to dage. jeg sms'er og kalder ham nu, der er ikke noget svar. jeg kan godt lide hvad gjorde jeg? Jeg ved ikke, om jeg skubbede ham væk for godt eller ej. vi arbejder sammen hver dag, så jeg ser ham, men siger jeg hej eller ignorerer ham og ikke er ivrig. vær venlig at hjælpe mig. 29. november 2015, 16:04 mampho jeg håber, du ikke ændrede dit job på grund af en fyr, der spiller spil. han er ikke i dig, han ved, at du vil løbe efter ham som en kærligheds hvalp, og han nyder at have dig under sin nåde. han er ikke det værd. tør den selvtilfredse i ansigtet og stop med at løbe efter ham. har samme selvrespekt dame. 1. oktober 2015, 12:50 meghan Jeg har kendt denne fyr et stykke tid nu, men vi havde aldrig rigtig nogen kontakt, vi ville bare sige hej og farvel når vi så hinanden. sidste weekend var vi på den samme fest og kom godt sammen, og på et tidspunkt begyndte han at kysse mig. vi så hinanden igen næste aften, og da jeg gik, forsøgte han at kysse mig igen, jeg lod ham ikke ligefrem, og han fortalte mig, at han ville sende en sms til mig. han smsede mig samme aften og fortalte mig, at han syntes, det var trist, jeg forlod. vi smsede i yderligere tre dage, og så sluttede jeg samtalen. hvad skete der? Jeg er 20, og han er 28. Kan det være en deal breaker for ham? 12. august 2015, 1:53 am clair Jeg havde denne fyr i 8 måneder, men vi havde denne enorme kamp, ​​fordi han fortalte mig, at hendes mor ikke kan lide mig, fordi jeg kom fra dette sted med dyre lønninger, når det kommer til ægteskab, selvom hendes mor ikke så mig endnu, jeg var så vred, at hun var uretfærdig og fordømmende, da jeg spurgte min ven om det, sagde de hvorfor skulle han sige det til mig, medmindre han selv lavede en alibi bare for at dumpe mig, var jeg så sur, indtil min vrede aftog, jeg svarede på hans tekst, og han ringede, men han antog, at jeg stadig er ligeglad, derfor kontaktede jeg ham, jeg var så rasende igen, jeg fortalte ham at han ikke er det værd, jeg ser ham altid online, men vi chatter ikke hinanden, jeg vil ikke jage ham 30. juli 2015, 10:56 kali hej , jeg plejer at gå ud med denne fyr i gr syv, og vi hader hinanden efter det, men så blev vi langsomt venlige. alligevel er jeg nu i ni år, og denne fyr, jeg taler om, er til og fra af og på vi, vi er faktisk slags venner med fordele, men alt, hvad vi gjorde eller gør, betyder noget. vi begyndte at blive tæt igen og kontakte hinanden, da jeg lavede træk og gav ham min ph-nummerbit, han havde en gf på det tidspunkt. vi har gjort nogle rigtige dumme ting, men hvor stadig venner, men det er problemet, jeg vil ikke have venner. mig og ham har øjeblikke, hvor vi har så store tider, men hans mor godkender mig ikke .. han sagde også, at han vil have os til at ske, men han er bekymret for, at han kan lide en anden. Jeg vil bare vide, kommer vi nogensinde til at ske igen ?? åh, jeg har ikke en e-mail haha, så det ville være okay, hvis du kunne kontakte mig på facebook. kali hathaway bourne. Jeg ved, at der er mange andre, du har brug for at komme til, men jeg er ond .. 22. juli 2015, 08:02 val hej hvad skal jeg gøre, hvis du mødte en fyr på ferie intet skete kemi var der på grund af omstændighederne i den afstand, du holdt kontakten, da han gav mig sin e-mail-adresse nu og da intet seriøst…. fanget ham på ferie igen snak og talte fik det fint han blev natten, men i separate senge, da jeg ikke følte det var rigtigt at sove med ham, selvom jeg har stærke følelser, var han ok med det, jeg fortalte ham, at jeg kunne godt lide ham meget, men jeg ved ikke, om jeg kom over trængende, da han fremsatte en kommentar, der fik mig til at tænke, så han sagde, vær sikker på at du er en meget speciel og cool gal. du har ikke brug for nogen til at validere dig. glem det ikke. siden da er jeg vendt hjem en otte timers flyvning væk, og han arbejder også væk fra sit hjem og tilbringer 5 uger til og fra kysten ... nej, vi taler stadig nu og igen, han har altid været blæst varm og kold, og han giver enten korte svar på beskeder eller tge chats ender med hans bange for, hvor sexet han finder mig…. han siger altid, at han er ude med en øl og jagter kvinder, så har han en skjult dagsorden? eller er det bare gammelt, at han ikke vil tale om noget seriøst? Jeg sagde til hjemmet, jeg vil gerne komme nærmere jul og tilbringe lidt tid sammen med ham, det er hvis det var ok, og alt hvad han kunne sige var ... .. det lyder som en idé, ingen idé om hvad jeg vil være med af dem ... .og fortsæt med at sige, at han synes, jeg har en smuk kropsval, og det er tid for ham at gå, mens han skal ud, og hvem ved, at han måske bliver heldig? så fortæl mig under al denne forvirring, der går rundt i mit hoved, hvad antager jeg at gøre af alt dette? venlig hilsen val 20. juli 2015, 20:28 jess sååå jeg har haft tre datoer med denne helt fantastiske fyr på date fire, han rejste mig op og lod ikke mig ved hvorfor indtil den følgende aften lige siden jeg ikke har hørt noget tilbage. hans havde i sidste ende en helt berettiget grund og undskyldte. forud for dette har jeg været den sejeste afslappede pige med ham som til det ekstreme, men jeg har ladet ham vide, at jeg er interesseret. vi har masser til fælles og går så godt sammen. jeg smsede den følgende morgen, som var min første fejl, da det var lidt krævende og trængende og derefter en to dage senere det samme og derefter en om aftenen undskyldte, da jeg indså, at jeg nogensinde har gjort det fatale træk, og det var at være ivrig for tidligt! hvorfor sagde jeg ikke bare noget! du laver dumme ting, når du kan lide nogen, tror jeg. men alligevel har jeg stadig ikke hørt et ord fra ham, det har været en uge. er der nogen måde, jeg kan sende en besked til ham igen for at få hans opmærksomhed? hvis ja, hvordan kan jeg gøre det uden ham igen og tænker, jeg er physco, som jeg lover jeg ikke normalt. kunne virkelig godt lide denne :-( er der nogen måde, jeg kan klo denne tilbage ?! tak fyrene x 7. juni 2015, 19:26 mig det er et mysterium 25 juni 2017, 10:54 am sally så her er sagen, han er en af ​​mine nære venner, og jeg er glad for ham. men han gør denne underlige ting ved at ignorere mig indimellem. Jeg lagde ikke mærke til det i starten, men jeg indså senere, at han faktisk ignorerer mig med vilje. Jeg spurgte ham, om noget er galt, og han er som nej, så jeg lod det glide. En god dag ignorerer han mig helt og det gik i flere uger. til sidst fortalte jeg ham at mødes og fortælle mig, om der er noget. han beskyldte mig for ikke at give ham plads, så jeg var som wtf, hvordan kommer jeg ind i dit rum, vi er bare venner og vi hænger ud og sånt. halt forklaring. da jeg ikke ville kæmpe på grund af hans ulogiske historie, lod jeg den glide igen. vi begyndte at tale igen. ligesom vi kom ind i vores normale rutine med at chatte og hænge ud og snakke og lille kamp ts. han ignorerer mig igen. Jeg er tæt på hans familie, og han er en god ven. han kan virkelig være ond til tider, men det generer mig ikke. Jeg forstår ikke hans handlinger, han er til tider virkelig sød, og han kan være meget uhøflig. Jeg vil ikke miste ham som en ven, men jeg kan ikke udholde hans lort længere. Jeg prøver altid at udjævne tingene. hans manglende kommunikation og modenhed belaster et meget godt venskab. han gik endda en ekstra mil for at planlægge en ferie for os til at hænge ud med sine folk, og han talte ikke engang til mig på hele vores ferie. han irriterer det levende helvede ud af mig, og jeg lader ikke noget af det påvirke mig. 5. maj 2015, 06:21 mikaela Jeg forstår dig fuldstændigt. den fyr jeg kan lide er en total kæreste, selvom han til tider kan være virkelig uhøflig og ond til mig. han får mig til at føle mig forvirret, fordi han har sine op- og nedture med mig. Jeg har allerede haft noget for ham i et år, og i løbet af den tid kunne han lide 4 piger, inklusive mig. han bliver ved med at forråde mine hemmeligheder bare for at prøve at kommunikere med de andre 3 piger, og jeg finder det virkelig irriterende. en gang spurgte han mig, hvem hans crush kunne lide, og efter 2 timers tiggeri fortalte jeg ham mit gæt. han endte med at fortælle pigen, at jeg spredte rygter om hende med hendes 'crush'. så råbte han på mig for at være så ond til sin knus. Jeg var så sur at jeg svor aldrig at stole på ham igen. men når han bliver pænere, bliver jeg varmere op til ham, og han får langsomt tillid fra mig igen. men så forråder han mig flere gange. denne cyklus er gået igen og igen, indtil jeg mistanke om, at han virkelig brugte mig. selvom han sagde, at han kunne lide mig lidt, har jeg lyst til, at han lyver for mig og bruger bare mine følelser for ham til at få information. 19. september 2015, 02:32 forvirret Jeg har været sammen med en fyr i næsten 5 år nu. vi har været forlovet næsten to år. vi skulle gifte os den 16. maj i år. For 3 uger siden kommer han bare ud og fortæller mig, at han ikke vil gifte sig, fordi han har set hele sin familie og venner gifte sig og ende i skilsmisse, og det ønsker han ikke for os. siden da har alle dele af vores forhold syntes at glide ud i mørket. han forventer stadig, at jeg fortsætter med vores forhold, som om der ikke er sket noget. ja jeg elsker ham stadig og vil være sammen med ham, skør som det ser ud. nu har jeg lyst til, at han fortæller mig, hvad han tror, ​​jeg vil høre. ja, han elsker mig, lejlighedsvis, og vi er stadig intime, han fortæller mig, at han elsker mig, og alt andet, men jeg har problemer med at tænke over ting og et stort problem med at lade min vagt være nede for nogen. endda familie. tror du, at han virkelig stadig elsker mig, og jeg er lige ved at tænke igen, eller er jeg bare kendt for ham nu, og han vil ikke være alene? 9. april 2015, 18:14 dina hej Jeg har været sammen med min kæreste / forlovede i 8 år nu. vi har været forlovet i et år nu og 6 måneder før vi fik bryllup, han får kolde fødder og begynder at sende en besked til min bedste ven / ærepige og fortælle hende, at han føler, at hun er mere kompatibel med hende og nyder de samtaler, de har over min . vi besluttede at tage en pause, og i løbet af den tid finder han ud af hende og begynder virkelig at lære hende at kende, men kun for at indse, at hun ikke er den, han ønsker, og ville arbejde med mig. han har undskyldt som en skør og forklaret alt for mig. vi besluttede at arbejde på tingene, men vi bor 4 timer væk fra hinanden, fordi jeg flyttede ind hos mine forældre. Jeg ved ikke, om han virkelig vil have mig eller stadig vil have hende. Jeg føler, at jeg er den, der har gjort en indsats for at rette op på tingene. Jeg kørte hele vejen til hvor han bor og betalte for mit hotelværelse og hans parkering og alt. Jeg ved ikke, om jeg lavede en fejl eller ej. Jeg elsker ham så meget, og vi har et fantastisk forhold, jeg vil bare føle, at han også elsker mig og virkelig vil være sammen med mig og virkelig værdsætter mig. 26. marts 2015, 23:00 leah hurst Jeg mødte denne fyr online og han gjorde alt for at få min opmærksomhed, så jeg gav efter og talte til ham, vi var møde i omkring en måned. her er den irriterende del, jeg arbejder en uge væk og en uge derhjemme, når jeg er hjemme, alt er godt, vi mødes, mødtes med måltider nætter i osv. denne gang, mens jeg er på arbejde, sluttede han det, sagde han han doserer rigtig godt om mig og ked af at tingene gik hurtigt, han er normalt ikke sådan, han finder det virkelig svært at lide nogen og ikke været i stand til at se dem meget (jeg finder det også svært) vi talte i telefonens tekst og lignende, men intet følte det samme som når jeg er sammen med ham, men efter at han sagde alt, sagde han, at han ikke så os gå nogen vej, og han sagde, det kunne være fordi mit job. Jeg ændrer min arbejde væk nu, da jeg finder det svært, hvilket har fået mig ned for nylig. tror du, at når jeg er i mit nye job, ville han være interesseret i at give det endnu et skud? Vi havde al den kemi, et par, der startede, skulle have, og han følte også forbindelsen. hjælp :( 20. februar 2015, 19:05 joan hej hjælp, jeg har set en fyr til og fra i næsten 2 år. Jeg er forelsket i ham men jeg ved, at han kun har brugt mig. hver gang vi mødes, holder han kontakt i en uge eller deromkring, og så hører jeg ikke fra ham i flere uger. Jeg ender altid med at komme i kontakt med ham igen, og vi ender med at tilslutte op igen. Jeg ved, hvordan det ser ud, og jeg ved, at jeg bare svigter mig ved at kontakte ham hver gang. Jeg har ikke kontaktet ham nu med 5 uger. Jeg håbede virkelig, at han ville kontakte mig i julen eller nytår, men ikke et ord fra ham. Jeg savner ham så meget. Jeg går på aften- og weekendundervisning. Jeg går i gymnastiksalen og møder mine venner. men kan bare ikke få ham ud af mit hoved. Jeg kan ikke tale med nogen om ham, fordi han allerede er i et andet forhold er han også meget ældre end mig. han er også den første mand, jeg nogensinde har været sammen med. det startede, efter at mine forældre døde. Jeg havde passet dem derhjemme, indtil de døde, så havde ikke tid til dato. jeg kender jeg var sårbar, da den startede. Jeg leder ikke efter sympati, bare hjælp til at forstå, hvordan man håndterer denne situation. Jeg ønsker ikke at afslutte forholdet, men jeg vil gerne afslutte det. Jeg tænker på ham hvert minut hver dag. bedøm mig ikke. vær venlig at hjælpe mig med blide råd. tak skal du have. joan 4. januar 2015, 17:05 victoria joan jeg føler virkelig for dig! Jeg ved, hvordan det er at være besat af en fyr, men desværre, han bruger dig. Jeg er ikke sikker på, om han ved om dine forældre, men hvis han gør det, er han elendig. Jeg tror, ​​at have mistet dine forældre, du låste fast på ham, han var den første fyr for dig, og nu kan du ikke give slip. selvfølgelig vil jeg sige, at du er nødt til at give slip på ham. du skal. men jeg vil anbefale rådgivning / terapi, da det at have mistet dine forældre må have været så svært, og en terapeut kunne hjælpe dig med at arbejde igennem sorgen og hjælpe dig med at finde styrken til at forlade denne mand. der virkelig ikke er din tid værd. 2. februar 2015, 13:40 anexlli jeg var sammen med min kæreste i 4 år. det var en ldr, og vi bestræbte os på altid at være i kontakt og rejse frem og tilbage for at være sammen. i april gik han hjem og skulle komme tilbage i august for at starte en skole her og starte et ordentligt liv sammen med mig. da han gik tilbage, besluttede også hans familie at flytte til en anden stat. Jeg ved, at dette placerede ham under en masse pres. han havde ikke meget tid at tilbringe sammen med mig. vi forsøgte at holde kontakten, men jeg blev fortvivlet over ikke at se ham, og der skete nogle vigtige ting i livet med mig. så jeg var til tider ikke lykkeligst. i juli aflyste han det endelig. sagde, at han ikke synes, vi skal være romantisk forbundet. sagde han dette med sin søster i bilen. så bare logget af. han valgte derefter at gå uden kontakt med mig, men svarede kun, da hans mor havde bedt ham om det. (jeg sendte nogle blomster og kort over, da de flyttede) det var sådan indtil midten af ​​november. Jeg var begyndt at sende hans ting tilbage via mail. han kontaktede mig for at bede mig om ikke at gider, spar mine penge. først reagerede jeg ikke på ham, jeg arbejdede på at komme over ham. det har været meget svært for mig. Jeg indså, da han gik tilbage i april, at denne mand er en, som jeg har meget dyb kærlighed til. selv hans meget stemme efter al denne tid sender stadig min mave flyvende. til sidst svarede jeg. dette har derefter bedt ham om at kalde mig dagligt på skype. Jeg har fundet det svært at modstå. nogle gange beder han om video, andre gange er han ikke bekymret. han delte skærmen med mig forleden, han troede, at jeg gik væk fra tastaturet og begyndte at tjekke hans e-mail. Jeg bemærkede, at han er tilmeldt et datingside, siden han er begyndt at tale med mig igen. selvfølgelig er jeg meget dybt såret. Jeg gætter på, at jeg havde håbet, at vi kunne få en slags forsoning. han har tilføjet mig som venner tilbage på hans konti, spil og facebook. Jeg sagde ikke noget om datingsiden, foregiver bare at jeg ikke ved det. i går begyndte han at opføre sig underligt igen. Jeg tror, ​​han måske allerede har fundet nogen, der kan tale på det sted. han ringede ikke til mig hele aftenen. så prøvede han og lod som om han ikke kunne høre mig og skar mig af. han fortsatte derefter med at ignorere alt, hvad jeg sagde. (jeg lavede et par vittigheder og bare generel chit-chat) Jeg prøver at gøre 'normalt'. jeg er så forvirret. Jeg er knust i hjertet over, at et forhold, der gik rigtig godt, (vi var ikke et par til at kæmpe og argumentere, der var ingen problemer, som jeg er opmærksom på i vores forhold, han gik lige og selv nu kan han ikke fortælle mig hvorfor) er afsluttet så brat og uden en rigtig god grund. han undgår bare at tale med mig om det. det er klart, at hvis han har tilmeldt sig et websted, at han ønsker at være sammen med nogen, har han nogen, der praktisk talt afguder ham, forstår jeg ikke. Jeg prøver at 'hænge på' i håb om, at han bare er ked af noget og så forvirret som mig. Jeg har også forsøgt at tale sin mor, der bare fortæller mig 'hæng på derinde'. han annullerede at komme til skolen her og bad mig om at hjælpe ham med hans personlige erklæring, så han kan gå til en over i den tilstand, han er i nu. Jeg har bare brug for hjælp til at prøve at forstå, hvor jeg går hen, og hvad jeg gør nu. Vær venlig? 19. december 2014, kl. 07:18 april ok, så jeg er en 37 årig kvinde, der for nylig netop fangede min mellemskole og kæreste i gymnasiet. vi gjorde alt sammen tilbage i disse dage, men efter at han blev involveret i nogle dårlige ting, forlod jeg situationen. han gik i fængsel i 8 år og har været ude i 7 år nu. han havde ledt og søgt efter mig efter at han kom ud og kunne ikke finde mig før for nylig efter at han allerede var blevet gift. han har ingen børn med denne kvinde, og han bliver sjældent hjemme hos hende. vi mødtes i sidste weekend og genforbundet. det var helt fantastisk at se ham efter alle disse år. vi elskede ikke kun sex. han var de bedste herrer, jeg nogensinde har kendt. nu er jeg så interesseret i ham og tænker på ham hvert sekund af dagen. ja han har skrevet et par gange, og det har jeg også. han fortalte mig, at hans ægteskab var i stykker, og han var ikke tilfreds med hende. han kan godt lide at holde sig ude natten efter aftenen og lave sine puljeturnerings ting, som vi havde til fælles om dagen. Jeg var med ham lørdag og søndag, og vi elskede to gange, og det syntes behageligt for os begge. han arbejder uden for byen, og han er ved at tage til cali i 2 uger. Jeg vil have ham så dårligt at have mig igen, men igen er han gift, men ikke lykkeligt. Jeg skulle ikke have sovet med ham, men da vi daterede langt tilbage, klikkede alt så godt. kysene kærlighed at lave og kæle. Jeg er så interesseret i ham, og jeg vil have ham fra nu til evigt. Jeg føler han er min soulmate helt sikkert. Jeg har aldrig nogensinde haft disse følelser for nogen, ikke engang mine 2 ex ægtemænd. hvad kan jeg gøre for at sikre, at han vil have mig og føler det samme. er der tegn. vær venlig at hjælpe ... i kærlighed og have brug for ham dårligt 9. december 2014, 20:40 glenn ur begge skide job. glem det og lad fyren flygte, før det er for sent. skør + skør = dobbelt så skør. 3. januar 2015, 20:51 analisa lavelle Jeg har brug for hjælp til denne. og nogle råd ville blive meget værdsat. Jeg havde denne fyr ven, han var min bedste ven, og vi begyndte at tale hele tiden grundlæggende, indtil en af ​​os faldt i søvn, tiden gik videre til flirting. i mellemtiden havde jeg en langvarig kæreste, hvor mit forhold svigtede. efter 8 måneders tale hver eneste dag og hænge ud mindst en gang om ugen. vi tilsluttede os, og efter det var det virkelig akavet mellem os. min kæreste og jeg brød op den næste dag, fordi jeg endelig havde fået nok af den kamp, ​​som vi gennemgik. nu er min ven virkelig kort med mig, og jeg ved ikke, om jeg bare skal lade ham være i fred, eller hvad det er svært, fordi jeg udviklede følelser for ham, og nu ved jeg ikke rigtig, hvordan jeg skal håndtere denne situation. det var heller ikke første gang, ugen blev tilsluttet, før vi kom ind i et forhold, hvorfor jeg ikke troede, det ville gøre vores forhold underligt. hjælp mig dette ud. 4. december 2014, 12:12 jessie min ekskæreste og jeg daterede i seks måneder, han snydte mig og kom altid tilbage efter at have forladt. Jeg tilgav ham altid og tog ham kun tilbage for at han kunne gøre det igen. vi kom sammen igen og forsøgte at ordne vores forhold, kun for at finde ud af, at han snyder igen med den pige, han forlod mig i denne gang. Jeg bad ham om ikke at rejse, men han slog mig og gik. han kom tilbage igen og fortalte mig at give ham plads til nu, og vi begynder at datere igen næste år. han sover stadig hos mig, men han vil ikke date mig nu. Jeg prøvede at komme over ham mange gange, men jeg kan ikke. Jeg elsker ham alt for meget og vil have ham til at blive hos mig. vær venlig at hjælpe mig med at gøre ondt 19. november 2014, 12:42 formicad jeg er ked af det, men det er ikke kærlighed, hvis han slog dig og misbruger dig mentalt ved at snyde. lad ham ikke komme tilbage !!!. efter en uge eller to vil du have glemt ham, og du vil føle dig meget bedre. stol på mig ... .. 3. december 2014, 21:11 cindy hej, jeg har været sammen med min kæreste i 5 år. han er vidunderlig mand. vi er begge 25, og han vil foreslå mig og give mig det tip (spørger mig om forlovelsesringen, som jeg kan lide, og ved et uheld fortalte mig, at han vil gifte sig med mig næste år). han er meget bekymret over den økonomiske situation og arbejder så hårdt for at få penge til vores levebrød. han bringer mig til sit liv, og alle ved i sit liv, kender mig. men jeg har lavet en kæmpe fejl, som jeg fortryder dybt. Jeg afviser ham og fortalte ham, at jeg ikke kan være sammen med ham, fordi jeg føler mig usikker på vores fremtidige liv (det er fordi jeg er påvirket af de fakta, at jeg har set mine andre venners liv bliver bedre end mit). Jeg ved, at jeg er lavvandet og dum at tænke sådan. Jeg fortryder det af hele mit hjerte. i’m just too naïve and i’m still learning to be better person. last month we break up and there’s no contact for several days until he text me and asking about me. telling how desperately he that days.i casually texting him until i seem needy to him. i nag a lot about how he ignored me because he doesn’t want to meet me. there’s one time he text me and when i late ing him. he told me he’s going to get a tattoo. i thought he’s just threatening to do that, because he’s not the kind of man who will do that. he used to be sweet and treated me like a princess even though i’ve sometimes been so damn shallow and don’t give him enough attention as girlfriend. i can’t forget myself for that. last two weeks is really a hard days in my life. he got a tattoo and i’m really shocked and can’t believe its true. i hate and feel traumatized whenever i saw people with tattoo. i feel like going to pass out thinking about this. i’m so depressed. i know tattoo is a normal things to other poeple but i can’t deal with it. i wish he erase it but he told me he’s not going to regrets what he’s done and never want to erase it. at the moment when he’s calm down he told me to accept him who he’s now or leave him. my parents also hates people with tattoo and i’m scared its going to be our problem later (that’s my biggest concern). he’s now act cold to me and doesn’t invites me to his family occasion like he used to be. whenever his family asked about me, he told me that i’m busy, but not letting them know about our breakup. lately we contact and meet up but his behavior is cold and emotional when i talk about his tattoo. he’s also smoking which i hate. he loss his weight and seem unhealthy.. i love him and i wish we can be like we used to be. i regret all what i’m done. i know he’s deeply dissapointed by my rejection and tired of my attitude toward him. i just want to be with him and would do anything for him. my friend told me that he’s just wanting some revenge throwing tantrum and want my attention. he’s trying to control me. his behavior toward me is cruel like doesn’t seem interested in me anymore but he’s still care if i’m safe or not. he’s going to panic if i’m home alone. when i told him my parents thought our relationship ended and he’s going to find others he said how about we try to work it again and told me that he loves me. please tell me how to : 1. make him want and treat me again like he used to be 2. convince him to erase his tattoo(its crucial for me). pretty please help me in this. our relationship would be rocky because my parents hates tattoo and he can’t find good job. 3. please told me your opinion what he’s thinking. and what should i do to make him comfortable with me again. how to react when meeting him? thanks before :d october 4, 2014, 10:51 pm yas i need help! my ex and i have been dating for almost 2 years and he decided that we can’t continue, it’s been almost 3 months since that and after all the arguements and cutting off he decided its better if we be friends. i haven’t seen him in a month. we talk once a day or two and he seems to be enjoying it this way but i’m still madly in love with him and i want him to chase me again and i have no clue what to do or who to ask for help. august 26, 2014, 1:09 am sharisse ok now in the past i was dating a guy an everything was going good for bout 3 month’s some where in that 3 month’s i find out that he was married, so after a few month’s i stop dating him, now 3 year’s has pasted an i bumpt in to him leaving a store an i asked him how was married life he said they are not together any more an that he was seeing a girl now so i said oh ok after that we never seen each other again. but jst resent i was getting ready to go out of town an he stoped by my house to see if i still live there. so we got the talking an exchange numbers but i didn’t call or txt weeks after i got back home. so i wanted to see what was up. we talked for a bout 2 hrs on the phone. then after a while we went back to seeing each other, i finally told him why i stop talking to him witch was cause he was married an i was catching feeling for him. now we still talk an see each other, but what do i cause now we took it to the next level by sleeping together an spending time together so asked him different question bout us an he said right now his not looking for a relationship cause it only been 1 year since his been devorce but he does care bout me it’s just to early to tell an that it’s been only 2 month’s that we have been seeing each other…. should i just go with the flow. Hjælp. august 23, 2014, 8:53 am sarah me and my ex have been friends for years! we became friends in high school (as sophomores) and he started chasing me after a night we spent together at camp (as juniors). we only made out which was about it and the rest was just having a laugh all night. he later on kept pursuing me and i didn’t have any feelings to him at all i knew it was a mistake. but then somehow he caught my interest. later on i felt needy and clingy which impacted me negatively. my ex and i were just ‘seeing each other’ never really went out on dates unless you take going out on dates as spending your time at the park or going for walks and what not. i’ve always paid for everything and never has he done anything like that… maybe once or twice. today marks 2 years of our little tug and push. during the ‘seeing each other stage’ he had a one night stand with a girl which was a freshman and later on lied to me when i tried to confront him. a few months later although he acted loving and caring he disappeared. he changed schools and i had no idea what to do. i was pretty devastated and needy. i was clingy, i’d stalk him on social media, try to come across him and do my best to get back with him. he was never my boyfriend though. this went on for half a year. as this stage was in process, he came back to me, made out, lead me on and left me. this occurred three times and on the third time he asked me out on a date. i never heard from him the day of the date which never took place. he says he never remembers himself even asking me out on a date during that stage. a month or two passes and i’m a senior and because he failed a year in earlier years he was a junior. thinking i would benefit of him coming back i some how found a way to persuade him to come back to my school. so i could see him whenever i wanted to and have a laugh and kiss here and there. he told me he came back for me. and he told a few people the same reason. but to everyone else he said that he came back for his mother. do not ask why! because even i have no idea why… whilst being back at the same school, we were seeing each other again but then randomly he started ignoring me, and having me chase him. during this we argued and were very distant. it came to a point where he started speaking to my best friend’s really close friend and told her that him and i never had anything going on. in his defence he tried to hurt her because my best friend hurt his best friend emotionally. i ignored his reason and the moment i confronted him he asked me to be his girlfriend. i accepted for some stupid reason. maybe because it was something i really wanted for so long. he kept it a secret. didn’t want anyone to know. he never really acted like a proper boyfriend. we had an argument and then he thought staying friends is worthwhile. he was wrong. me thinking this over, i messaged him a huge text explaining that i could not go through being friends with him due to it being weird. i told him i would cut contact with him. a few days later i felt the urge to see him and ran to him. he abused me verbally and i got angry. we had an argument full of misunderstandings. the next day was his birthday. he hated it. nothing went his way. i wasn’t there to even celebrate it. i sent him a huge text saying happy birthday. the next day he replied to me telling me how much he loves me and never wants to lose me. he told me how much he trusts me and how much he cannot stand not having me around. a few days later he asked me to be his girlfriend. i told him i need time to think. during this he asked me out to the club where one of my favourite artists were going to perform. i told him i will try to get permission of my mother. the day of the event i got the yes and messaged him telling him that i was allowed out. he told me not to bother. he came up with excuses like our ride is taken away, i wouldn’t like clubbing, i wouldn’t like what i see, etc. reading that i realised i needed to go there to see what he meant. i knew something was up. when i got there i saw that he made out with a girl. he had lipstick all over his face. i was heartbroken once again. i cut contact with him that night. during my finals i could not concentrate. i got really bad results. i got worse than my predicted scores. i spoke to him.. this wasn’t going to work for me. i needed to make peace with my past in order to move on. he asked me out a week after i tried to be friends. i kept refusing till he kissed me and i melted. i cried in front of him and he kept wiping my tears away. he told me he wanted me to meet his mother and all of his friends. i never felt so special. till the moment he kept avoiding me meeting his mother. 2 or 3 months had passed and i felt distance. i could see his best friend list on snapchat (social media) that he has a girl right on top of my name. i knew something was up. i could feel it. a few days later on his instagram bio he had a letter with a love heart. i asked who that was and he told me it was an artist. i broke up with him. i gave him a chance to own up to it and so i broke up with him when he lied to my face 8 times in a row. we tried to be friends but it did not work for me. he cried in front of me. he never cries in front of anyone. i told him i want no contact at all. that i couldn’t stand it. yet i still looked over him. i needed to watch him. if i didn’t no one else would. he looked happy with the girl he was best friends on his snapchat with. he announced her as his girlfriend unlike he did with me. everything was on the low. no photos, no announcements, no nothing. see how there are the 3 p’s? profess, provide and protect? he could only do one of them. protect but ever so lightly. after half a year of no contact, i had an argument with my best friend and have now thrown her out of my life. during the half year i tried my best to get over my ex, i spoke to others, but nothing felt the same. i thought i was over him. a week ago my ex’s friend tried to see me. he is one of the most amazing people around. so i agreed. little did i know he tried to set me up. once i found out i rejected it. three days later i was working, having a laugh with one of my colleagues and the moment i looked up i caught eyes with my ex. the amount of energy that pulsed through me was indescribable. i looked away as soon as i could. i ignored him the whole way. he went past me 8 times. i was in pain. i was full of anger. my friend i see as a little sister messages me asking what i’m doing after work. i told her i had to go to the mall. my ex was outside of my work place for an hour waiting for me in the cold. i went outside after my shift and interrogated him. i kept walking and asking with an angry tone of what he wanted from me. he kept trying to make small talk which angered me even more. i wanted him to come straight to the point. i wanted to hurt him. he came with me to the mall and spoke with me. he told me he regretted it all. how he missed me. he told me he just wanted to toot and boot his ex. as much as i missed him, i had to be a bitch to him. he told me he wanted me to meet his mother. i told him that would’ve excited me last year but it doesn’t anymore. i told him i don’t want to meet his mom. this really upset him. so two days after i made a mistake of wanting to see him and he found out about it and kept asking me. i blamed my pms for such emotional need for him. the day after that i asked him to come and give me my papers for psychology class because i needed it for college. he brought it but made a deal with me that if he brings them, i had to come watch his best friend play ball. which i did. he was really attentive. he kept his attention on me. i was quiet the whole night. i didn’t know what to say, what to do. what was right, what was wrong. we didn’t speak for three days and he called me the moment i got off the bus. he asked me where i was and that he wanted to see me and have me help him study for his senior classes. i told him i had to go to the mall to buy myself something. he was right across me. we both laughed and he made his way toward me. we went together and it was so different. he was comfortable with me. he laid on me on the bus. i missed those days. i started missing everything. he tried to go in for a kiss. i didn’t allow it. he took me home. the day after i met him at the library so i could help him study. little did i know he double booked me and he didn’t want to study. he just wanted to chill. though i had no idea. i got angry that i was double booked and that he was not studying. we had an argument and went our separate ways. i got a message that was two pages long from him. i didn’t want to seem as though i read it so i called him asking what it was about. he told me he didn’t want to try anymore if i don’t want to. he told me that i should let him know if i want anything because if i don’t he wants me to let go so he could let go. he told me he misses me yet he knows how much he hurt me and he knows that i let go a long time ago and he really wanted to forget the past like i told him i wanted to. i kept telling him history is not meant to repeat but he was always against it. we met an hour later and went to the city. we chilled, and spoke, and spoke and spoke! we put everything on the table and he caressed my face. he asked me what i wanted. i told him friendship. he kept telling me i was lying. which i was. but i had to. i’d rather look out for him than to be his girl. but any girl who even touches him angers me. he told me he stuffed up. he told me he regrets everything. he told me how amazing i am. he’s speaking to two other girls. and i busted one of his conversations earlier last night saying he wanted to skype with a girl from ca. now what do i do? do i fall for the same thing? is there a possibility he has changed? or is he still an asshole? what do i do? do i go for him again? and i do. i really do. i miss him. he’s been the only person in my mind for two years straight. or do i hurt him? how do i hurt him? help me. august 8, 2014, 10:52 pm dee n **am i too late to get the relationship back?** started dating a guy 4 months ago, and he literally swept me off my feet, wine dine flowers always came with a gift in hand, and the way he looked at me melted my heart. the catch, i happened to meet him in the middle of his 5-year retirement plan, he explained he works a lot and if i could be patient things could turn out nice. the first couple of months he called or texted everyday and made time to see me, then it started to taper off which was understandable, running 3 businesses as a consultant in addition to his family business he explained his work load increased a bit a month after dating (the man works 7 days a week 4am -10pm on average). unfortunately, i hadn’t stumbled on to your books/website until im in “damage control” mode now. i see where i could have been “needy”. when things started to slow i gave him space but it seemed like it started getting longer and longer in between seeing each other and i was getting frustrated asking him periodically if he could spare an hour for a drink or whatever, his “no, he wishes he had the time” but was still texting me each day etc, my response you could make the time, no?. he thought- that i thought- he was with other girls and partying, which wasnt the case (i explained wasn’t the case) i just wanted him to make some (or anytime) for me. it seemed opportunities came and went without him trying until after a 5 week span i explained he would need to make some time for me or lets take a break including him not texting me everyday (because i kept thinking he was going to make plans which never happened). after that conversation, he said his work schedule was freeing up a tiny bit and took me to lunch that week and out the following week, we spent the night watching movies. he didn’t sleep well after that night i think it set him back a bit, so i gave him space again. after 3 weeks i told him i had a hotel up by one of his offices he wouldnt have to drive we could see a show (his response was he would love to but his fear would be that he wouldnt get enough sleep and be set back again) the next night, frustrated i send a two sentence text explaining why do i even bother etc. he texted back in the morning, what a crappy text to wake up to dont “bother” anymore. i apologized via vm and text explaining it was a combination of bad news in my family and excessive alcohol from numbing the bad news, but i havent heard from him and its been a week. now i know just to let it be (after your advice columns) but i feel like i have lost it (wondering if i would have been patient would it have blossomed), anyway to get it back? im afraid to reach out again and seem needy. a week with no response tells me this may be it. ugh june 10, 2014, 2:41 pm bella i’ve been( or i was )in a long distance relationship with my bf for 5 month . we were texting everyday day and night .. a week ago i was texting him as usually we do on weekend , but he didn’t replied at all , however i could see he was reading my messages and i got very upset . after few messages , i told him that if he was not aware of phone showing messages read ,that i could see he read my messages , he didn’t replied until 7 hours later saying . sorry i was out with my girls and now we are about to have dinner . i didn’t replied at all . the next day he texted me and i didn’t replied , the following day did the same thing and i didn’t replied . i texted him 2 days later and this time he didn’t back to me . the next day i’ve sent another text and he replied as soon as i’ve sent him a messages that i won’t bother anymore , so he texted me right away. he was completely ignoring me via text ,so i cut off conversation . he told me that we will talk next day , so i texted him the next day and he was doing the same again no answering my text , i stupidly sent bunch of text messages and he replied at night . i asked him to be honest with me that if he doesn’t want the relationship to let me know , so i can move on . he replied saying , i don’t know to be honest with you. the way you reacted rally threw me off.. then i stupidly asked .is that means you don’t want this anymore ? and he replied , i don’t know right now. i am trying to be a good single dad and maybe it’s not fair that i have enough time to give anything else right now.. i said but you are a good dad , and he replied saying ,im now trying to watch tv with them .. my last replied was this .. ok . i’m not there and the time with me is via text . you making things harder for me , by not telling what you want here .. i let you watch the tv with your girls .. either way , have a goodnight sweetheart . this was our last conversation 5 days ago and we haven’t contact each other since then . do you think that i have a chance to get him back ? what should i do next ? should just wait until he contacts me ? please help ? march 17, 2014, 1:46 am bella please help me here !! march 17, 2014, 6:57 pm millie i knew of a guy who was seperated and i didnt want him months later we met and a week after we dated. he was kind of curious and i decided ti let him know about him asi felt that it was fair to know i also told him that in d future i would like to get married as to know what he would do for the annullment. after that i told him he started saying that i need to do experiences with other guys and that he thinks that he still needs more time to heal and that he does not want to hurry things up. now i have to chase him and after saying all that he started playing hard to get like if you want come near me i tease him as well but he says then i would like to speak to that girl a girl whom i saw at the bar. he than says that he cannot cope with two..what do you thing that he has in mind and do i need to stop texting?? i already said sorry duevto a tease him a bit tooo but he started to make me feel jealous. tks november 19, 2013, 9:44 am hozan ahmad i think try to date and find another one, and dont make him the center of your attention july 6, 2014, 7:40 am elizabeth ok so there was this guy i dated in high school (15 years ago) and we have recently started talking again. we met up last weekend and ended up hanging out the whole day. we were texting after that quite a bit, but now i texted him yesterday and never heard back from him. i guess i don’t know where to go from here? i thought there was a possibility of a future relationship, but i don’t know if i should text him again in a few days or what? i guess i usually initiate the texts, but he would rather talk on the phone. he did call me last weekend an we talked for an hour. any advice would be great!! september 15, 2013, 1:36 pm heather maybe he didn’t get the text. i would try again a while later like days or weeks and see what happens. but don’t question him. that is what he prob expects u to do and if u don’t that will be points for u. if he doesn’t respond again just move on. november 28, 2013, 1:32 am nicole recently my ex who broke things off with me and havent spoken to him since for 5 months drunk texts me on fb saying, “sorry about today, itll never happen again sorry to bother you” (note we are not fb friends.) i dont know what to say after that but after his drunk texts and knowing how he treated me for the first time i decided not to answer this one which will shock him. do u think he will get in touch with me again? i dont think theres any reason for me to answer this sentence because it just clearly doesnt make any sense. july 16, 2013, 10:11 am rebella hi, there’s this guy who apparently liked me for a long time and finally approached me en we clicked emediatly. so we started seeing eechother alot for a few weeks, and he was perfect, sweet and i felt special. so then some shit happend and we decided to stay friends. but during a few weeks that we were “friends” he was stil sweet, we decided not to meet up till the feelings were a bit settled, so we talked alot on the phone and texted. and i mean .. alot, like till 5 am we could talk and everyday he texted me… well you get the idea.. i just knew he still liked me. so somehow we did meet again a few times ( it was his idea by the way to meet again) and everything fell back in to place and we were more than friends again.. and everything was fine and he met my best friend and gave me the sweetest present on my brithday.. but the past few weeks, i can’t shake the feeling that something has changed.. he texts back but with long intervals, and i notice that he is less interrested. but when im with him everthing is normal. so i asked him about it and he said nothing was wrong. i thought we were okay, but since then he is even more distant it seems. im afraid to bring it up again because he didnt really like it the first time. he said he is in to me and sometimes he is really sweet but most of the time he is pretty distant what do i do? i’m meeting him in a couple of days, should i ask him or act normal or just wait and see how things go? or like most of you say.. make him “chase” me somehow? im in a dilemma .. i dont want to push him away. but i’m also afraid of trying to make him chase me and .. he wont?! Hjælp? june 15, 2013, 2:09 pm betty hi rebella being “chased” is more of a state of mind than a set of specific actions. you can’t intentionally get him to chase as that would just be manipulative. instead focus on yourself. get your mindset right. i think you have nothing to worry about. men generally pull back but it is important to stay cool and calm. any emotional outbreaks would result in him freaking out. practice patience and give him his space. they generally come back. june 15, 2013, 11:40 pm rebella hi betty, so you think that its normal for guys to act like this after a while? i really want to believe that, its just that in those moments when he acts like he’s not interrested and busy it feels like hr actually is not interrested. but i think you might be right and i need to stay calm. hopefully i will find that sweet guy i fell in love with again. mange tak! june 16, 2013, 4:11 am help so i first moved to this town and met a really wonderful guy. he really was crushing on me and i was really starting to like him. then another guy came into the picture and took me away. i’m terrible with no’s so i couldn’t do much. i left him but then i felt so guilty i went back. meanwhile the guy i actually liked was heart broken twice, which killed me. a month went by and i couldn’t do it any longer. i finally left him, and tried going back. he was happy at first and really wanted to, then pulled the “i want to be friends card. i don’t want a relationship.” liking him for so long this killed me, and i kept pushing which i know is a wrong. liking him all along and being with the other guy, is all wrong. i recognize this and knew all along. but he kept agreeing with fixing things, then said the same “i don’t want a relationship!” this happened four times. i am pretty heartbroken now, we haven’t talk in a week. he is all confused. i am contemplating on what to do. he means alot to me. but along with hurting me four times he said really awful things too. i’m not talking about like trashing me like actually hitting the heart. i am at a loss. i can’t win, i can’t do much. i need some assistance. all my friend say leave it alone stop caring but that’s not me. so, please try giving an actual solution not a leave it completely. he means a lot and i really want this to work.. june 13, 2013, 9:59 pm jennifer #6 do you remember the self respect you used to have for yourself when you had a boyfriend. if you find that part of yourself again, you will attract this douchebag again and many more wonderful men. stop pursuing such scum. dont you deserve better. why do you people settle for casual dating. when we fought for your equal rights, we didn’t fight for equal dating. stick with biology and stop trying to play with nature. let him chase you. if he doesn’t, then he is inconsequential. seriously girl, where’s your pride and dignity. enough his enough to all of you. when did women become so weak? play up your powerful femininity and stop this ridiculousness of even contemplating a man who sleeps with a nasty hoe in the first place. eww are you after his std’s, his promisciuity (yes yes i know you’re attracted to him because the social proof is that he is desired but who is he desired by, not exactly a real woman). look for a kind, caring man, place your self in his way so you become his target and then pull back and watch him chase you and drive up the passion that way not with a loser like you have described. seriously girl ewww he could be the hottest guy on this planet and i wouldn’t give him the type of day. may 26, 2013, 9:46 pm jennifer #6 eric, you big hunk, we need an edit button because i was typing this during a very exciting work meeting (was almost busted) and i can see lots of errors i’d like to correct may 26, 2013, 9:53 pm eric haha, oh stop… ;) i won’t go into the nerdy programming stuff, but adding an edit button would create too much overhead for the website. just mention any corrections below if need be. listen, i publish articles with typos in them that i have to scramble to correct after catching them months later and millions of people have read it already. don’t feel bad. ;) may 26, 2013, 10:23 pm emma i want to know how i can get this bloke’s attention back on me… we met 4 months ago everything was great to begin with spent time together i was there for him through a dark stage of his life helped him through it out of choice thought everything was going good.. but it got to around jan and he started to withdraw from me less contact etc it would always be me perusing him and i hate having to be the one that does that but i liked him so much at that point i was scared.. after pushing him for a few anwsers he told me that he felt like he wanted a relationship when we first met but at the moment he feels like he doesn’t want a relationship because he feels like his life needs to be fixed first.. i understood because i knew what he had been through.. but i also had a sense that he wanted his ex back because i saw a fb status that insinuated he was trying to make it happen with her again.. i felt hurt because he gave me a hard time over what my ex did to me yet he wanted to get back with his ex that supposedly hurt him too? i don’t know but all i do know is that he is paying his attention to other girls now i see it on fb and it kills me.. but i never say anything just continue putting up with his ignorance towards me. i really want his attention back but i don’t know if its too late or he just doesn’t like me and is too scared to tell me the truth. i feel like hes just run a mile from me.. i know that he pays attention to my fb though because a few times when i was hanging out with him he would mention he saw something or a post he found funny but hasn’t literally liked or socialised with me on fb for 2 months. i have also started dating other blokes now nothing serious just hanging out with other guys i think he can see that on fb does it put him off? i also have a male best friend who recently moved to another country who had feelings for me and before he left he posted a long message on my wall saying how much he appreciated me as a friend etc i think he saw that because one of my friends commented saying why did you never give this friend a chance.. and he liked the comment i felt confused what does he mean that he agrees too or is it another polite way of saying ‘do one’ its driving me mad. march 4, 2013, 9:54 am fml how do i get my boyfriend to chase after me, he loves me and we live together always visiting his parents, but at times he will leave me at his parents house while he goes to hang with his boys or to workout. he never lets me go anywhere without him when i go workout, why can he? i am a baskeybsll player like he is, bit now i never play because he hates me playing with guys at the rec. i have hot too attatched and my word revolves around him. any comments march 2, 2013, 3:29 pm renee i had a guy who pursued me avidly and then after 3 months, just went cold turkey on me for two weeks. i agonized on this since i didnt understand when all things had been totally great and no issues we couldnt work out (and i mean small ones). but once i got my wits back about me, i left him a message that said, “hey i havent heard from you and i guess this is over. but i enjoyed our time, you were great and i will miss what we shared. best of luck to you.” this guy called me the same night and has not stopped since. he never did that to me again but beleive me when he called me that night to get back in my good graces, i waas out on a date with another guy, and for the next 3 times he tried to meet up with me i acutally had other plans and could not do so. then when i did, i only gave him one hour of my time and i was very pleasant at that. trust me, this showed him my worth and that i value myself and my time before anyothing or anyone else. now he tells me “im not goin anywhere!” what a change and what a declaration. what they say on anm is spot on! january 11, 2013, 7:30 pm amita kaur you would sure make a good relationship counsellor for women out there. i wish i could be like you. february 24, 2013, 8:02 am jen i had a guy that pursued me hard for two months, then pulled back, said he didn’t know if we should keep hanging out, but he really wanted to keep talking to me at least as friends until he figured his stuff out. i didn’t hear from him for three weeks. i sent him a random message about a band he likes playing in a town i was in for the weekend, and he texted back immediately. we had a good back-and-forth (this was a sunday) via text, and he called me at work the next morning. he continued to text me that afternoon all flirty. i didn’t hear from him tuesday, texted him just to say i heard a song on the radio he likes, no response until after 9 pm: “whats up”. i didn’t answer, but i have read receipts so after a couple mins seeing i read it, i got: “sleeping?”. he saw i read that and later sent “must be” and “…”. obviously confused why i wouldn’t respond. he called me twice at work the next morning (wednesday, and he hadn’t contacted me for three weeks!) and called my cell phone on my lunch break since i hadn’t answered. i finally answered that, and he “just wanted to chat”. then why call so many times??? i told him i was trying to give him space to decide what he wanted, and he said that when he decided he wanted to hang again he’d just call and ask me. we also chatted a bit about what we’d been up to since we hadn’t talked for so long. he got a little jealous when i talked about going to a couple parties, and tried to make me jealous talking about girls he was dancing with on a vacation he took. looking back, i guess that was a good sign, but i was so sick of the hot and cold. i waited a couple days, didn’t hear from him. i sent him a similar text to this on that friday saying that he obviously didn’t want me in his life, it shouldn’t take someone a month to decide they want to see me. i appreciate what we had because he showed me how i deserve to be treated, even if it can’t be from him right now and good luck figuring out what he wanted and hopefully he can be happy.” i never got a response. tomorrow will have been three weeks since i sent that. the only thing i’ve heard from him was he added me on snap chat randomly last friday, but hasn’t sent anything, texted or called. is there anything i can do, or did i push him away? help??? july 18, 2013, 9:25 am kelly poston i’m from thailand. i am an exchange student in denmark for 1 year. but my boyfriend lived in thailand. my boyfriend and i had promised each other, he is not gonna cheating on me. the time passed by 5 months now, this is the first time i saw him chatting with another girl and they are dating now. but he said trust me we are just friend. hvad skal jeg gøre? should i let him go i understand his feeling it is hard for him because of our long distance. but for me i never dating the other guys . please help me out. january 11, 2013, 3:48 am hopeful all right so my story starts like this. so i have been liking (and now, close enough to loving) a guy right from 2010 when i first met him. we ended up in two different places. he started becoming close to me, but he had a girlfriend in 2010. i liked him, anyway. we becaame close friends. and it only grew stronger. to be true, he was attracted to me even while he was in a relationship. i told him i like him. we used to text almost everyday. we even sexted and flirted, sometimes. and his relationship started faltering. (because his girl was also in a different place, long distance problems) it ended, finally this year, and he was heartbroken. he started getting over her. i went to his place to meet him, by this time, because he was single, i was free of guilt and we made out, many times. also, he cares about me a lot and considers me to be one of the closest. we fought a lot, but ended up resolving issues everytime. our sexting, flirting, caring continued. he told me he really likes me but since he has just gone through a bad long distnace, he cant do another one, and he doesnt want to hurt me. he thinks his ex has been a bitch. yesterday i asked him what is the most beautiful thing in his life, and he asked me the same thing.i said ‘it’s you’ and he was shocked. he said ‘i am a bad guy, i hurt you, why do u like me etc’ i got mad over him. he apologized to me and said because he feels guilty about me having given given given and he thinks he has not been able to give me what i deserve ( a relationship) but he loves it that i am there and that ‘i am dam important to him’ so basically i like this guy and i have waited for him too long. i have given him unconditional care, love, support. he is a beautiful person. i find his presence very soothing. i feel very safe in his arms. he has been truly supportive. i have been balancing out my emotions and friendship with him. it has been painful, and even embarrassing. he does not want me to go. should i wait more? but what i dont get is till when? till when should i keep myself hanging? what if he never wants a relationship? there is this other guy who likes me, a loooooot. but i told him i cant do justice to him because i alreayd like someone else. that is not very relevant, actually. the main question that troubles me is that till when should i wait for him to come and since his plane has just crashed, will he be ready any soon to board another? sigh. i dont know. maybe you have something to say. thanks in advance. january 3, 2013, 5:18 am sydney i kinda have the same thing and i dont know what to do. ive been dating this guy for about one and a half months now. at first he was super interested and sweet. hes always constantly be texting be, starting conversations, sayiing goodnight/goodmorning. hed also always want to see me, re arranging his plans or making sure i come along. now it seems like he cares so much less. he barley texts me and when we do its me who keeps the converstaion going. whenever i ask to hangout, hes always busy. he has one friend that he hangsout with pretty much every day. his friend brings his girlfriend along sometimes but my boyfrend has never even invited me once too. ill be lucky if can fit me in a two week period. i hate thinking that i have to ‘fit in’. like i can make time for him . . why can’t he ? its not like he cant cause he use to. i know this isnt just him because every boyfriend ive ever had did this. how can i make him care again ? like when hes to one asking to hangout/talk on the phone/texting me cause he missing me ? :( december 23, 2012, 4:39 pm lisa sydney, i read your post and wanted to point out that anm has covered your topic many times over. in short, a guy will make time for you if he really wants to. he will also value what he has to work for. you sound like you have lost your way and are too available to your “boyfriend”. you need to focus on you and the things that interest you outside of your relationship. maybe when he sees you have your own life, he will consider pursuing you and making time for you again. then you can “fit” him into your schedule when it suits you instead of the other way around. january 12, 2013, 1:30 am ola hi girl from lebanon! i’ll put all in a nutshell ~ well as much as i can :) first, you admit no wrong, however the lines and tones of your message says otherwise. the earlier you accept partial fault, the better and easier for you to handle the unfolding situation. secondly, you’re blowing hot and cold. you act like you want him, but then don’t either respond in time to his texts or go on arguing. it’s manipulative. it never lasts long. it kills relationships. lastly, you need to accept he no longer values the idea of continuing the relationship. once you both start playing, toying and enjoy hurting each other and dragging sentimental issues, you know you can’t trust each other with your hearts. that he no longer wishes to be with you could be cause he’s met someone, wants a break, is exhausted and stressed out with you and the relationship, he’ll looking for change/ uncontented or because you keep coming to beg him as though love is a one-way traffic., hence weakening his appreciation of you. love is reciprocal darl, and the more wanting, clingy and needy you appear, the less interest he has. please, move on. especially if you want him to have room to think and reconsider his stand and your value to him, or give room for new love, just move on. you need room to breathe yourself! wish you goodluck! o november 12, 2012, 6:35 am girl from lebanon i wasn’t playing hot and cold he was the one to be late for this i don’t really know what to do im frustrated and really need help should i unblock him maybe he talks to me? i don’t really know anything saturday i went to take my belongings his mom was so nice.. i didn’t even ask about him i just couldn’t i don’t want him to think he’s so important but i adore him and i don’t really know what to do.. should i delete my accounts of whatsapp and anything maybe he will feel that he misses me? help.. november 12, 2012, 6:48 am ola aforemost, you need to stop initiating contact. at this point, he’s enjoying it and you’re losing the last bit of respect he can have for you to be able to look at you as a lover once again. you needn’t block him and any social media sites you’re on, cause that condemns any chances of reconciliation and sends the wrong signals. if you ?????y want a chance again, you need to let sleeping dogs lie and restrain from contacting him ~ and that won’t be easy. on the other hand, why would you want to stay and suffer with a guy you’ll continuously argue with, that will continue to enjoy condescending you to the point where you’ll believe you deserve less a man?! you’re still young. it’s important that you’re happy, and if a man can’t give you that, and vice-versa, i suggest truly that you have a rethink on your life priorities. november 12, 2012, 7:11 am girl from lebanon should i give him back some of the gifts he got it for me like the phone he buyed it for me a few months ago ? november 13, 2012, 1:53 pm girl from lebanon no he’s the one to blow hot and cold and he keeps arguing all i wanna do is a reconcilliation.. he has bad texts that’s why sometimes i couldn’t to him when he cuts me off completely of his life. should i delete my accounts? facebook whatsapp everything maybe he will miss me someday ? he’s still blocked on whatsapp i went to get my belongings this saturday his mum was so nice i didn’t ask about him.. even though im dying on the inside just to be with him .. i adore him :( plz help i m not being able to move on november 12, 2012, 6:52 am anais i agree with ola on several points including, stop initiating contact and it sounds like you’re both blowing hot and cold, since you were ignoring his texts…there’s a difference between ignoring and just giving yourself time to respond once you decide what you want to tell him. maybe he just feels hurt because of the way you’re expressing yourself by blaming him for you feeling hurt. men don’t like to feel blamed, even when they are at fault. and they are sensitive beyond belief in this regard. if you want to try to work on things, you hear from him again, tell him something like you feel bad to hear he feels hurt and you weren’t trying to do so, instead of making him feel wrong about everything. tel l him you feel happy to hear from him but you feel bad about how things are between you two and ask him ” do you think we can do anything resolve this” and see what he says. in the meantime, you’re only 20 so start to make yourself open to dating other guys. you’ll most likely meet someone better and be like “wow why did i want with that last guy” november 12, 2012, 11:23 am girl from lebanon i never blamed him for anything he was the one to say that i hurted him while he did. actually i did do that before i said him that if we can work things out and he eventually replied sarcastically that’s why i blocked him right away i knew that he doesn’t want me i unblocked him but i won’t talk to him because i know that he doesn’t want me anyways november 12, 2012, 12:35 pm girl from lebanon im not contacting him anymore but should i delete whatsapp or unblock him ? that’s what i was thinking if i unblock him and not talk to him again i don’t put any pictures for me on any site anymore so he won’t feel hurt of me i don’t know how to interact anymore.. i wish u can clearely give me steps on how to behave i would be thankful.. i know he’s deep down good hearted but i don’t understand him anymore and i feel so much pain november 12, 2012, 7:19 am girl from lebanon i unblocked him november 12, 2012, 7:20 am girl from lebanon im thinking of blocking him again i don’t want him to think i m following him or something i believe if i move on he will never come back he wants me desperate and take control on me … i just don’t know what to do and how to interact he hates me and i didn’t do anything to him.. november 13, 2012, 12:57 am girl from lebanon he’s 25 cancer i’m 20 gemini i was with this guy for about 10 months, we were in a long distance relationship. he works abroad. he comes twice a year to lebanon. the second time i saw him in lebanon he broke up with me for about one month and half i started begging him and telling how much i love him and than we started arguing so i started to ignore him than we came back together. he came so nice and good to me than he came back to the country he works in. we broke up for the second time and than came back after ignoring him, when he came back he refused putting our picture on bbm and so i told him why, he said you keep fighting me while he does all the fighting, and i have no word. so i was okay with it, like what can i do i cannot force him, but on whatsapp he kept our picture with my name as a nickname. ( on bbm also he kept my name). but 4 weeks ago we broke up i didn’t know why, he was desperate changing pictures on bbm and he removed my name so i asked him why, like u removed our picture already and now my name, later on what? he was fighting me all over and broke up with me after being so good to him and trying to make him calm, he broke up and i called him several times he didn’t so i wished him good luck and that he lost me because of his bad treatment. and he said u lost me before i lost you because u didn’t care. so i ignored him. he started to put sad faces on bbm so i ignored him but after a few days i said that he lost me forever because he was so disrespectful and im not gonna stay like this forever and i think he has a new girlfriend so i said many things… and he started bringing up my old relations. my past! and say that i didn’t care and i m not a good girlfriend and i wasn’t by his side (truth is i always have been by his side and never left him, spoiling him with love and sacrifices that i have done to him… i don’t go anywhere because of him because he’s jealous and i don’t want him to feel alone so i go to uni and go home, i don’t even see my friends a lot because of him because i don’t wanna make him sad). so i didn’t to any of his talk. the next day i said i wanna give this relation a chance so i asked him a question : “do u still love me, did u ever love me and will you always love me?” so he replied :” i got the answer but i won’t tell you” so i said ” i have to know so i can know how to deal with things from now on” he was like ” deal with it the way you want, you already did enough” so i didn’t to him and didn’t talk to him after that that was 3 weeks ago. last wednesday (1 week ago) i said him on bbm hi and he replied hey and asked how is he and he was normal and u? i said im okay and he said good. so i didn’t say any word after that. after 2 hrs i put a picture for me on whatsapp and bbm, so he said please remove me from here sorry for disturbing and block me on whatsapp if u care about not hurting me anymore. so i didn’t to him and after a short time he said thanks for being disrespectful so i didn’t to him and at 2 am he sent me on bbm ” hope when i wake up in the morning u will do the favor i asked you to and not putting more disrespectful behavior and the hurt you’re doing to me. wish u the best but don’t go to your past with such immature pictures and bad ones it doesn’t go for you from an old friend and i prefer there won’t be a hi between us cz you treated your ex’s better than me and respected them but u didn’t respect me knowing one took you to his home from the first day and the other one cheated on you, that’s called not respecting, you left me i didn’t say a word, you hurt me and i didn’t do anything, i m not like your ex’s but you all girls are the same there’s no difference. if you’re not gonna do the favour so i do it in the morning but please tell me that you won’t do because you really did hurt me and i didn’t expect that from you to go back to your past. wish u all the best regards, ur old friend” so i didn’t to him because it’s all untrue i didn’t leave him and i did respect him i was more than good to him really i was. and after that he sent me “bye good luck on whatsapp with such pics” and i didn’t say anything so he started pinging me a lot and than he removed me i didn’t say anything. not even a word. this monday that has passed it was his mother’s birthday so i sent her flowers to her home and she talked to me saying thank you and asked if i and her son are talking so i was like no we’re not and she was like why? i said her we’re done. the next day he said me: “hello hope ure fine just wanna tell u thanks for sending the bouquet for mom tc nd have a nice day” so i replied ” no need to, im fine” and he said ok. he didn’t talk to me after that nor i did. today i decided to delete whatsapp. i have another number im using it also. i don’t really know what to do. i don’t know what is he expecting. p.s: he keeps putting pictures for him on whatsapp… he changed his passwords 1 week ago. last monday i texted him on whatsapp saying ” “i want to work things out between us. i will respect your decision if you choose to not see me again, but i need closure. if i do not hear back from you, i will assume it is definitely over.” he said after a half an hour “what closure” so i said him “i said like end things start a new chapter in life ” and he said “what things” and i said ” i wanna know if this relationship can be saved or if it is definetly over” so he said me “”as if u still care about this relation hehe enjoy ur life u hurted me well enough really did :) ” i didn’t to him cz for me i didn’t hurt him i m the one who really got hurt. so i got mad and blocked him… he sent me a message to my mobile phone after an hour saying ” thanks for showing the true u more than once but put in your head i’m not like your exs i respected you more than any living person on earth not to do a such behavior with me plz don’t u ever think of asking about me which u never did but the most thing don’t u ever ever think of talking to me and enjoy your life which u are with me or without me tc wish u all the best don’t plz” so i didn’t say anything to him i was so angry.. i really loved this guy i don’t know what hapened to him i wish i can get help to make him come back but with good intentions :( i miss him i don’t understand why this hapened. november 12, 2012, 5:50 am amy need help im so confused …… i really like this boy and i started liking him 3 months ago but then i found out that he had a girl friend, we started talking and became friends, but showing me the signs that he likes me . then last week i fou nd out that he spilt up with his girlfriend and since then we have become really close and i told him i liked him and he said he liked me back and he kissed me last night and then said that he don’t wanna lead me on ? i’m so confused and i really like him and now we are just”talking” . what i meant to do ?? i with friends or my horse but i still find it hard not to think about it ! please help me i’m so confused ! november 5, 2012, 9:46 am kim i need help! so, there was this guy i met about a month ago. he goes to school with me and his name is sean. i first messaged him on facebook just to say hi and meet him because he seemed like a cool guy. i had no interest in him at the moment nor did i ever think to start talking to him dating wise. he’s about two grades below me as well. all i planned for was to just be friends and that’s it. that was until things really hit off and i instantly began to have feelings for him. at first it was him claiming how “amazing” and “perfect” i was. he would always walk me to class, most of the time he’d wait for me too. so then he started telling people we were talking (dating wise). he became a bit obsessive too. he would get mad if i talked to other guys or mentioned giving one a friendly hug. later we had this argument where i told him that we weren’t serious because we had only been talking for two weeks then he said “fine we’re not talking anymore!”. that honestly hurt. what doesn’t make sense was that he told me he had commitment issues then i text him trying to fix things and he said “i thought i was committed to you but you said you didn’t want anything serious so i wasn’t going to waste my time”. then i ask if we can start over again, forgive and forget, he agrees to it but then ignores me in school. then when i confront him about it he said he had his reasons to be upset with me and that i said that we didn’t have anything but won’t listen to me when i tell him we did. now he refuses to speak to me but then walks with the girl he talked to before me knowing that i didn’t like that very much. late my friend goes to up to him and asks him what happened and he said “i don’t know, i mean she’s crazy and obsessive.” i’m very confused with the situation and i don’t know what to do. i mean i really want him back because i can’t seem to get over my feelings because i know that i wasn’t being obsessive and none of what happened was my fault. hvad skal jeg gøre? is there any way i could possibly win him over again? october 28, 2012, 4:37 pm georgie ok i need help!!! i have been going out with this guy for 2 months now, at the start he was super cute- text me just about every morning, call me just to hear my voice telling me all this nice stuff. called me beautiful and was super lovely. then about a month ago his phone got cut off and that was ok cause he would call me about once a day or use wifi and facebook me. some days he would call more than once and he was still super lovely. than his phone went back on and it seems since then he’s been making less and less effort to contact me. most days at the moment i feel if i want to talk i have to make the effort and contact him but i don’t want to seem needy. meeting up wise, we meet about once a week at the moment he used to call me up and want to meet spur of the moment but that also has changed and when we do meet he occasionally pushes the time back. when however we are together he still seems to care about me. Hjælp!! tell me am i being paranoid or is he losing interest and what do i do if he is ???????? october 15, 2012, 7:21 pm anais hi georgie, “at the moment he used to call me up and want to meet spur of the moment but that also has changed ” if he tries to pull the spur of the moment thing again, turn him down politely, just make other plans for yourself and let him know when you’d like to reschedule. if he still constantly tries to do this, call him out on it and say “i’ve noticed when you call to make plans it’s a bit spontaneous and i appreciate that, but i have a rather busy schedule, so i am free *insert day here*” as for his habit of pushing the time back, is he doing this last minute ? if yes let him know what time works best for you and if it doesn’t work for him, he doesn’t get to see you. let him work on your schedule. october 25, 2012, 12:16 pm annoyed and confused hey i reeeeaaaaallllllllyyy need help!!!!!! so i used to like this guy for a really long time (since like 3rd grade) he was always nice to me. his name is chris. my best friend liked this other guy who i wasn’t interested in. his name is anthony. then the guy that my best friend liked moved about 15mins away and since we were young, we never saw him. anyway, she continued to like anthony and i continued to like chris. i never hung out with him cuz i wasn’t really in his group. in sixth grade, anthony moved back to my school.around the mid-sixth grade, i realized that chris was a real perv and stopped liking him because he was so annoying (but it is still really awk between us). around the same time, my bestfriend and i stopped being friends because she wanted to be popular (with the guys) and started ignoring me. in return my friends and i (who had the same issue with her) just stopped hanging out with her and stuff. in mayof last year, three of anthony’s friends told me he liked me (i am still unaware of who my ex-friend liked at the time). i tried to act cool and be like “whatever”. then, when i thought about it i started to like him too. me and him sat next to each other in every class, he talked to me, was nice, funny, smart, cute, etc. by the end of the year, i had a full on crush with him. over the summer, my ex-friend had her first boyfriend which was a total setup. from my knowledge they only kissed once and never hung out that much cuz he lives about 15minaway. by the end of the summer, i heard they broke up (aa whole other story) anthony and i didn’t talk until the end of the summer until i got his phone number. when we got back to school (this year) i was disappointed to find me and anthony only had 2 classes together. but they were double periods so i spent lunch until the end of the day with him. but, i didn’t sit next to him in any classes. and guess who sits next to him in alg 2? my ex-friend!!! that annoyed me but i carried on because he told me he liked sitting next to me better, i was convinced he still liked me. then, last week i found out my ex-friend was considered “hot” (which is just a guy word for slut). i soon realized my ex-friend liked anthony again.then one day , i went to an ice cream place with my two friends. there we met a bunch of guys aka “the wolf pack” (which chris is a part of) and some girls. there was a girl who i was never friends with and was considered “easy” and this new girl that thinks she’s sooooooooo popular. the new girl is friends with my ex-friend and invited her and three three other girls. it was really awkward cuz anthony was there so i just started some minimal flirting. while we were with the guys one guy asked my ex-friend if she could talk (cuz she’s really quiet with other people, not me tho). i was then convinced that they didn’t “like like” her. after me and my two friends left, a guy cameron, who was with the guys and anthony and used to date my friend, called my friend and asked if we wanted to come to anthony’s i kind of did (obviously) but my friend said no before asking my opinion (plus is was like 10:00 at night) the next day at school, i found out that anthony and my exfriend went on some walk together and she got his number from one of her “new, easy” friends. i was really mad you have no idea. then, they were gonna hang out at the funfest (a festival in my town last weekend) but she didn’t go (i have no idea why). when i got to school yesterday, i had to teach my ex-friend something because i’m president and she’s vice president, on our way through the halls by ourselves i tried to get info out of her, either about something i already knew or didn’t but she was so vague in her answers and i didn’t want to act like i knew anything. i didnt get any info. i did know stuff she didnt want me to know tho stuff that other people told me today at school, a girl told a guy who told a girl who told my friend who told me that anthony and my ex-friend were gonna hook up after school! wtf? he just found out she talked last weekend!!!!! anyway , when i heard it wasn’t true i relaxed and i talked to him throughout the day, holding eye contact some stuff like that. i did catch him looking at me once or twice, then after last period, i heard that the rumor was actually true because as i walked out of alg 2 i overheard the new girl saying to my ex-friend ( who’s locker is 2 down from mine) “me and you are gonna meet cameron and anthony after school” i started flipping out! by the end of the 5min home room, about 20 people knew. (lol) but i dont think they were going to hook up that is all i know i don’t know if he likes me or not because he looks at me and talks to me and stuff but he was gone see her after school?!?!? is he doesn’t like me how do i get him back!!!!?!?!?!?! thanks for reading this i know it was kinda long.. please help!!! sincerely, confused october 2, 2012, 5:00 pm ashlee alright.. where do i begin. well i was living out of town when this guy who used to coach my cousins baseball team added me on fb. i always thought he was way sexy but never considered talkin to him. well we slowly started chatting more and more until i moved home. my very first day of my new job he walked in and i thought damn.. well then we slowly started talkin again until one night we went out with a group of friends to this pool hall. well im pretty sure we all ended up having waaaaaay to much to drink, and of course i did something i most certainly shouldnt have. yeah, we hooked up. well then it started being a we’d call each other when we were in the mood thing. bad idea. anyways i started to lose interest until he started coming back to my work all the time. and now that i decided i want him, i dont know how to make him want me. clearly i already screwed up the whole “make him wait” deal long ago. but now im lost.. i actually want him heeellpp please! september 13, 2012, 1:26 am mashfeqa mahmud there’s a guy.he was my fb friend.after a first few chats on fb we exchanged eachothers number.he used to call me and text me.we started talking on phone.he shared his past experienced about his past relation and his family.all the tragedies.i had sympathy for him.i also told him about my ex.after few days he asked me out.i said yes.he started to insist to meet.i also wanted to meet him.but suddenly i started to find him fishy.he cant keep his words.after 1 month he made a plan to meet.i was also ready.but at the end moment i had to cancel the plan cos i had to go somewhere else.i told him and he got mad and he broke up saying that he will never contact me and saying that i am a psycho.all i want to know is will he contact me again?he was kinda manipulative.and had made many relations before as a time pass.and i was never clingy type.i was always there with my dignity.i was never easy 2 get.he had to work hard to im press me. he also knows that a lot of guys were after me but i didnt give them the opportunity.he is really stubborn.n he does wat he says.will he contact me again and when? august 9, 2012, 11:20 am anais hi mashfeqa… go with your gut that he seems fishy. i’ve been there and the gut feeling is usually accurate even when there’s no clear red flag. sometimes i just get a bad feeling about someone ad not sure why. it’s best not to hang around to find out just to find out that you’re right. he sounds a bit psycho himself and maybe needy… since i read absolutely nothing that would give you any psycho vibe. i don’t know if you’ll hear from him again but i don’t think you should want this guy contacting you again if you feel he’s manipulative. his reaction to you cancelling plans isn’t normal. based on your message i think you did nothing wrong. august 10, 2012, 3:29 pm how to wait? i have loved a guy for a year but i must hang on another three so i can be with him. he is perfection in a nut shell. everything i have ever wanted. the best thing is i know he loves me to because all the signs are there (previously looked up on various websites). he cant tell me he loves me or likes me or anything, for complicated reasons, although he tells me he misses me and he remembers details about me as i do him. i know this is true and perfect love… but i only ever see him at work, i only visit his work once a month-ish and i have to go there with my dad,(they get on really well). i’m certain this is love from what everyone describes it is, but we cant even let each other know we like each other for another 3 years. i have coped for one so far and have never doubted he is my everything. how will this work? july 26, 2012, 11:12 am monalee0528 there is this guy that had a crush on me..he has a girlfriend but he kept telling me about how unhappy he was and how he is not happy.and that the girlfriend has mentioned to him that she knows hes unhappy.he has been with this girl for 9months and says that he has vowed to not have sex until he is married.so he was hanging out with me coming to my job and coming to my house and spending alot of time with me. also i thought it was kind of weird but he introduced me to his mom and sister and told me his grandfather wanted to meet me.we had a couple of make out sessions and its even went even further than that twice.but something changed he stopped talking to me as much and i brought it to his attention and he claims that im just thinking negative.then the other day he just drove right passed me like he didnt even know me. so i just told him to just stop contacting me…did i do the right thing july 16, 2012, 6:24 pm desperate guy guys are so realistic! yesterday i changed my whole style by wearing dress that i didn’t use to wear before, take off my spec and wear summer heels, after that he saw some of the guys look at me and praise my look,he started to feel regret of losing me and messaging me saying want to take back the things that he bought to me before, like finding chances to have contact with me. he even ask me whether the girl in his facebook that interested with him pretty or not! i smile and says yes, he even ask me whether the girl prettier or me.=.= i really can’t get what he is thinking, why he so care about my thinking about the girl he wants to meet? he asked me why i suddenly changed my wear style ,is it had new boyfriend or what like that. in addition, he is that kind of guy that can’t stay single and keep finding girls, always keep an eyes on any girl in college that he might easily approach. july 3, 2012, 10:38 am selene need help! just broke up with my boyfriend for second weeks, he is my first love and we being together for one year and one month already. we are having the same course in college, so we could see each other almost everyday although we have no contact like sms and call. i feel heartbreaking because after that day we broke up, he keep saying he will never come back to me again and he even said that he feel better and freedom after break up. what can i do to win him back ? he said that his friends call him to stop wasting time on a girl they said that theres alot of girl out there waiting for him ,he even said that he lose his pride when with me so he wants to have it back again. i know sometimes i’m kinda controlling him, but i text him and said that next time i won’t be so controlling in a relationship with guys already..but still he said our relationship had became a past and call me to forget him. but how can i forget him when i already trusted him and thinking for forever from the start. june 25, 2012, 11:51 pm lulwa me and my boyfriend have been together for a year now.. everything was zoo great between us, he used to spoil me all the time and give me whatever i want , and he was always there for me.. he got me expensive gifts he also proposed to me a gave me a ring .. but he had to leave town for a couple of months to study .. and i was devastated , i left all of my friends for him i got used to him and i just couldn’t take it when he’s away , once i was feeling lonely and tired my friend told me to go out with her to her beach house , and my boyfriend doesn’t like me to go there , so i asked him! he got pissed and hung up on me and didn’t speak to me for 2 days , after that he started to act like a child .. he gets mad and yell at me a lot . i tried to fix it but he’s too stubborn he’s not tying to fix things at all , a month passed with fights every single day then we talked and everything suddenly got back to normal and i was telling him that i can’t wait to see him .. while were talking i told him that i went to my friend’s wedding and they were all girls and i danced a lot .. he got mad at me for dancing in front of the people .. then he went to a wedding and danced with the girls there and when i showed him that i didn’t like it he got mad and told me to stop and that he just wanted to live the moment. and after that i came to london for the summer vacation and he’s here too .. i’ve been begging him to meet up with me and he’s coming up with excuses ..so i called him today and i told him that i’m mad at him because he’s ignoring me and not answering my texts and i keep waiting for he’s for hours and hours all day .. he told me that he doesn’t have the energy to try and fix things and he also said “but that doesn’t mean i don’t love you anymore” he also told me that i need a couple of days to think and blah blah blah .. he also said that “if i don’t want to see you ill left you know.. i want to see you but i can’t i’m with my family” the thing is i know that he loves me and care for me , but he’s not showing it and not making an effort what should i do ? and how do i get him to see me?! june 17, 2012, 11:39 pm julianna hey eric, i need some serious advice as i have been pulling my hair out regarding this guy at work. basically, i work with this guy, literally sit opposite him and we used to flirt with each other for about 4 months. we had ‘causal dinners’ together, nothing fancy after work. just a social kind of thing. i hinted that i liked him and he says that ‘i’m cute but he knows what i want is a serious relationship and he can’t give that to me right now so it is better to concentrate on being friends instead’. now after this comment, the flirting went on for about a month. then he went on a short holiday (about 5 days) and when he came back he basically started treating me like ‘friends’. the flirting decreased and he was just friendly. so i asked him what was going on. he said that he was ‘sort of’ seeing someone and it was disrespectful of him if he comes over to my place to visit me. i honestly respect that, however, i really like him. i mean, come on, i see him everyday at work and i have fallen for this guy. he still talks to me, winks at me, smiles at me and minimum flirtation still goes on but i don’t know what to do. he also told me that he doesn’t want to date anyone at work because he has been burnt before and doesn’t want to get hurt. ps: we have kissed and madeout as well but that was about it. i really like him and i need to know what i should do. i can’t ignore him as he sits right in front of me. he is so good looking and the whole office regards him as a hunk. i’m the only one that he has ever kissed, hugged and madeout from the office. what should i do next? Hjælp! june 10, 2012, 11:03 am bella hi, i’m dating a guy. i’ve known him for 7 weeks but we started dating the 4th week. however, we had sex on the 6th week and a few days thereafter, i went to the movies with my friends. he sent me a text telling me he was at a restaurant with his team and asked me what i was doing. i told him i was at the movies with friends watching iron man. he said ‘thanks for the invite’, and i told him i thought he was clear for atleast 3 times that he doesn’t want to see those kind of movies. he stopped talking and chatting with me and refused to respond to my messages. at 3am, he sends me an ‘ok’ message, then follows with an ‘ok, no answer, fine.’ message. i didn’t respond cause i was in the middle of my sleep when my phone buzzed. i couldn’t understand it in the morning, but i was upset cause of the long silence and embarrassment that caused while with my friends. however, i messaged him to invite him to a bbq party. he refused to respond. i then called him with a number he didn’t recognize, he picked up, said he didn’t respond cause he was still awaiting my response to his message. i told him he had sent no question, and it was also pretty late when he sent the message. anyways, it’s been a week now. ever since then, he’s refused to initiate contact, and exchange loving wording that we do, even when i send him, he doesn’t respond. and now, we chat as though we were just friends. hvad skal jeg gøre? june 7, 2012, 7:48 pm katarina phang so much game, bella. how old are you two? sounds so young. just ignore him, get busy with life and stop staring at your cell! october 6, 2012, 9:27 pm katelyn i’m in desperate  need of help! ok so on new years this year, my best friend and her older brother both had a party. they both had their sets of friends over. we were the first ones there getting everything ready. when her brother and few of his friends arrived i was the one who opened the door for them. thats when i saw one of his friends, tall, and very attractive. i didn’t pay much attention to him because i had just broken up with my boyfriend recently and i wasn’t looking to talk to any guys. basically by the end of the night he asked me for my number before he left, i gave it to him without hesitation because obviously we had hit it off. the next day we ended up hanging out and everything went great. i left for a week for a trip the next day and i didn’t speak to him until i got back. once i was back he was still chasing me wanting to hang out and what not. i loved it. but i kept telling him that i wasn’t willing to do much. he tried for a bit and then it faded off a bit, a few weeks later it started again but i told him i was talking to my ex again and things were good so i didn’t wanna screw up. he got pretty upset and didn’t take it well. then he backed off. once that happened i realized i actually was very interested and i talked to him for a change. i didn’t like how it was turning out and the lack of attention i gave my ex made that fade off so i was 100% single again. the guy and i would hang out and talk a lot and we did hook up. he told me seriously that he didn’t just want sex, that he really liked me, this seemed genuine because he said if that’s all he wanted he would’ve left a long time ago. and it was true. the problem is me and him argued a lot. it was always on and off but when it was on it was amazing! recently now he has completely shut me out.. he won’t text or call anymore and when i do he cuts me off short or just doesn’t at all. i’m a smart girl i won’t text him if he doesn’t’ answer but when i get drunk.. sometimes i will and that’s not good. i really miss him and just want him to chase me again! basically i hate that i like him because when i wasn’t interested life was just so much easier. i don’t know what to do! june 3, 2012, 12:35 am whatever i absolutely hate it when girls just stop paying attention to you. i am direct and i look for people who are not playing stupid games. i don’t understand why people just can’t be real anymore, and i hate it. may 31, 2012, 10:31 pm tina hey eric, first off you are very handsome… anyway, i need some advice… i started seeing this guy and we hit it off he ended up buying a house within the first 3 days of us seeing eachother and later that week i ended up getting a key, it was perfect for the first week, then on a sunday he went out and never came home???? i texted him, no response, so i sent him another text telling him i was leaving and his key was on the mantle, still no response, well i left… we spoke the next day and decided to forgive him and start over, not 3 days later he does the same thing again :(… again we speak decide that everything moved to fast and decided to start over again, now obvious it’s different, he doesn’t ignore me, but i don’t see him as often as i like… when i do see him its heaven (no intamacy) just having fun… he tells me all the time how much he loves me but i’m so confused as to how you love someone so much you put no effort into making it work… so today i sent him a text telling him what i hated and what i needed to continue with our relationship and somekind of proof that he is serious, he asked me what kind of proof, obviously my response was i shouldn’t have to tell you, and that was the last i heard from him… should i cut my losses or wait it out to see if he comes around????? i thank you in advance for your input from a guy’s standpoint… may 30, 2012, 8:06 pm brooke ok so i text this guy for about two months i had known him since i was little but he is in college and im in high school so i never got to see him. he started trying to be controlling telling me during the summer we would be together and i couldnt wear shorts or bathing suits unless i was around him or at my house with no guys around. he started being a really big jerk and messing with my head so my sisters best friend who is also like my sister text him a very awful text and we never talked since. he is home from college now and i seen him at my school i paniced and left but seeing him has gave me very mixed feelings about him. and now i want him to have to chase we. hvad skal jeg gøre? try to get him to chase me or just totally ignore him? may 20, 2012, 9:22 pm rozalynn wow!!!! eric, you have really clarified things that have been driving me nuts trying to get. i have been talking to people just trying to understand thigns and put htings in perspective, and they think i’m obsessed. not saying i’m not, it is just hard to let go because i didn’t understand what i was doing wrong. sumof: like guy, i tell him, making hints i want to spend time with him more like a nincompoop i am… end result=i blow it, >( … oh well, but it still hurts because we run into each other due to friend circles and he makes me feel sooooo pathetic, because he ignores me, ouch…with tears may 20, 2012, 9:21 pm megan i broke up with my ex boyfriend 6 months ago and told him not to contact me because i wanted to move on and forget him. i didn’t delete him off of fbk immediately, but noticed some tagged photos of him and his ex girlfriend (he dated her 3 yrs prior to me) i was extremely upset and blocked him and made all my friends delete him. i was so angry that when i dumped him he immediately went back to his ex which he claimed there was no romance and he didn’t find her attractive anymore (b.s). anyhow, i started dating a new guy recently which gave me hope to move on once and for all. this week my ex boyfriend send me a text that he will be in town and want s to see me. i didn’t want to respond but part of me did b/c i wanted to confront him and get closure from all the lies he told me while we were together — although it may not be worth re-hashing all the past problems , part of me things that this will put the nail in the coffin for him not to contact me ever again. i do love still love him, don’t get me wrong…i care a lot for him but his behavior is disgusting, he used me and his ex gf for s*x and money — and those kind of character flaws i can never get over — he has no shame in his game and that is what disgusts me. i ask myself why would i love someone that can be so wrong for me. yet, he send me this message wanting to “catch up” — i took a day to respond and told him i’d be ok w/ meeting him and in my mind “end things, once and for all”. what i don’t get is why he still wants to keep in contact with me after, i sent him to hell twice!! may 17, 2012, 3:47 pm betty hi megan! i was reading your comment and i hope i’m not too late in ing. i know the situation you are in right now. my first ex is a real scum bag and i know you love him and all that but he doesnt mean well. trust me i made that mistake. people like that dont change and i call them opportunists. now that i’m over him i find him repulsive. he still annoys me with messages and i just ignore him [its been over 4 yrs since i ended things with him]. he’s married to the girl he was cheating on me with and now hes doing the samething to her. i feel sorry for that poor girl. at least i’m out of it, i really was saved! may 28, 2012, 11:04 pm billy see this i don’t understand…you break up with him, then get mad because he’s dating someone else? he can date whoever he wants after you guys are broken up. wow he wants to be friends..and you destroy him to make him go away. you’re awful. november 30, 2012, 2:02 am rie i decided to try the online dating thing. i’ve never done it before and decided i would give it a try. i recieved several messages, hits, etc., but wasn’t really interested. i came across one man who caught my attention. he was very charming and after about 2 messages via online communication we exchanged numbers. we seem to connect. he would text me every day almost all day and would constantly make plans to meet up. problem- after about 2 1/2 months we’ve only spent “face” time together twice. which would be fine, except he constantly brings up the idea of spending time together only when i initiate something he says ok but does not follow through. he texts me way more than he calls. he would literally text me all day and night (yes, we both have careers blame it on technology:). however, i’ve had a hard time reaching him when i call him. he doesn’t pick up. i adore the attention from him and he must of had a crystal ball because he gives me enough to keep me wanting him. he “says” he really likes me, misses me, can’t wait to see me, but he doesn’t committ to spending time. i’ve mention it to him and he agrees he has an issue with the on and off behavior. rationally, i see all the warning flags (and it’s more prevalent as i’m writing :( ) which leads to all the obvious- he’s in a relationship, he has alot of options and your not at the top of the list yet (a male friend told me that one smh)etc… my defense mech. is to leave and just walk away when any type of flags are raised with a man and i have with him. i can be really sharp with my words when i’m hurt and feel like i’m being mislead. i was with him, left (no text or calls) missed him, came back and he let me back in. we went out and then went back to the previous pattern, texting, miss ya, wanna see you ..only this time he listened and doesn’t say yes to plans i initiate only not to follow through. i’m trying my best to be open and less negative, usually assuming the worse. my heart tells me to be patient, but be aware, it’s only been 2 months and see where this goes. the truth always comes out anyway but the rationally me says- seriously, you should of walked away and stayed awa y a long time ago. stop being needy and realize all attention is not good attention. do i allow myself to be vunerable for once and take a chance or do i pack up my emotions for him, send them sailing and move on?? p.s i do keep my options open and allow myself to see other people (no other perspective interest though:() he reaches out to me more than vice versa. i’ve stopped initiating we hang out and friends keep me busy socially. but i just can’t get this man out of my head and knowing deep down i would rather be with him…feel like an usher song! may 16, 2012, 1:02 pm sarah it is totally possible to get a man who is only mildly/somewhat/less interested chasing after you. but before you do it you must evaluate how much emotional stability and self control you have. both of these things are necessary to get a man more interested in you. you must also only be interested in and dating the one guy you’re trying to manipulate. otherwise, what you’re doing is just plain mean. most importantly, the method i explain below only works under certain conditions. 1) a man must be clearly less interested in you than you are in him. 2) you’ve embarrassed yourself by nagging him too early, being too aggressive, or doing something that has lessened his interest in you. 3) a man who has been aggressively pursuing you has suddenly become distant. most importantly 4) you’ve been giving this man a lot of attention and hearing from you has become something he can count on and something that happens many+ times per day. lots of contact makes this method more successful but isn’t totally necessary for it to work. here is what you do: disappear unprompted without warning. he cannot know you’re hurt or annoyed by his lack of interest. don’t text him, call him, nothing. you want to remove attention you’d been giving him previously so he misses it and tries to get it back. you also want to give him time to really think about you and acknowledge your many positive attributes. he can’t do this if you’re constantly giving him something new to think about by texting him all day. a man who was only mildly interested in you might not notice that he hasn’t heard from you for a few days or even a couple weeks. i’ve dated a man who didn’t contact me for two weeks. he might be going through his text conversations deleting stuff and find yours and suddenly realize you’ve stopped talking to him. he might see something that reminds him of you or something you said and remember that he hasn’t heard from you. regardless, most men will slightly panic because they’ve been rejected. you’ve simply disappeared without warning and he is going to start thinking about why. he’s also going to re-evaluate how special you are because you had the balls to ditch him. self control and having your emotions in check is really important. when you cut the cord with a guy you must be prepared to never heard from him again. you probably will, but be prepared. if you don’t hear from someone, you didn’t have a chance anyway so you’ve done yourself a favor by not wasting any more of your time. the key is to be nice and friendly and available before you make yourself scarce so he isn’t nervous about contacting you. may 13, 2012, 1:40 pm eric charles good comment sarah. thanks for that. may 13, 2012, 3:04 pm p so what if the last interaction was the one where i acted a little too needy and open/interested in him? it was friendly and whatnot otherwise. september 2, 2012, 4:51 pm geo this is great advice … but what if the guy that lost interest in you is your best friends cousin that lives with her and you see him all the time :( what can you do then :( i cant stop hanging out with her december 9, 2014, 3:49 pm y just let him see this post, and it will all be ok. may 13, 2012, 3:03 am angelina i really, really, really, want him back. i don’t know why, i just do. i wish there was some way i could just get him to notice me again. because i am super shy and i don’t like talking to my exes because it’s always awkward, so i never do. but then again, i really want him back. in class when he’s passing out papers, he has to tell my friends to give the papers to me! am i really that big of a turn-off?! or is it some kind of shy guy code that no girl can ever understand?! may 10, 2012, 7:19 pm tracy hi y’all, frustrated & searching for answer s! there’s a guy i’ve sort of been seeing although haven’t seen him much because of drama in his work & life. we are both in our thirties, he is divorced and i am inexperienced in relationships and neither of us is looking for anything serious. we’ve only been out a few times but have fun when together when texting back & forth. i know that he likes me or did like me, but he sounded strange when i last texted him. we are pretty cas w/ one another so i thought it would be okay to invite him to dinner because i had a gift card to a certain restaurant and he had previously treated me. then, no response. i have heard nothing from him and am worry i never will. was it so wrong to ask him out? all i wanted was to do was hang out w/ someone i like & do something nice for him. i get it. i wasn’t a “challenge”, but how was i supposed to know? i wasn’t being needy. how can a girl do anything right? this is why i don’t want to date. may 10, 2012, 12:22 am eric charles hey tracy, . i doubt that his “weirdness” had anything to do with you asking him out to dinner. if a girl asked me out to dinner, i would appreciate the gesture… it certainly wouldn’t be a turn off. . i don’t recommend using texting as a barometer on the quality of your relationship. and if there is really a problem, i’d be almost positive it has nothing to do with you asking him to dinner. may 11, 2012, 1:28 pm katie did you ever hear back from the guy? i’m in my thirties and in exactly the same situation and it’s really frustrating! if you did hear back, what was his reason for not contacting you? may 29, 2012, 7:25 pm lynn also in the same situation, the guy did say he is busy and wants to be friends with me as he is more occupied of other things. we still communicate but less frequent now. i do like him a lot and do not want to give up on him but i do not know when really not wanting a relationship or was just annoyed because i was all of a sudden made a mistake of becoming needy. i did it and can’t turn the clock back. but still want to try if there is hope that we continue with the communication well, hopefully he will like me as much as chase me in a romantic way. he seems to be a workaholic, i am not sure if he just says busy because he do not want to talk with me. but during the first months that we communicate he mentioned that he has not been going out with a lady/friend for sometime and he enjoyed being with me. that was before i made a mistake though of somewhat becoming too needy. july 3, 2012, 4:27 am zulliebb can i say he truely loves me after when i pleased him and he just left without good bye??? i dont wanna make a mistake again may 7, 2012, 10:15 pm mychelle i’ve been talking to this guy for several months. we liked each other from the start but mainly were just friends until about 3 months ago. we’ve had a few arguments and i kept breaking up with him and finally he said i’m sick of this. either you want me and a family or you don’t. i told him i didn’t want to lost him because i loved him. he said then give me an answer! yes you want me or no you don’t. of course i wanted him. we then planned for me to transfer to his town and and after i took out a $700 loan and started my transfer things changed. i went up to talk to who would’ve been my new boss and everything felt perfect! he sat outside waiting for me until i was finished. we hung out and kissed. he’d asked me how i’d feel about marrying him before he went back into the air force so we could live on base btw.. but the next day he started getting distant. then he tells me we aren’t prepared! i’d put everything on the line for him and he changed his mind. he talked to me a couple times more about life as a military wife then when his job didn’t work out in town he continued to get distant. he disappeared for 3 days and i thought he had just dumped me without telling me. instead he said he had gone camping and hiking with just him and his dog. he said he was so very stressed out and needed to clear his head. he is still distant with me. why make all these plans with me and ask me to marry him if he didn’t want me? i have been cheated on in the past and i had let.my temper loose several times via text. he told me before he.disappeared that he wanted to make sure we had a good life and he took jobs getting paid under the table. i just don’t know what to do. i’ve never felt.this way before. during those days when he was gone i felt empty. he’s a good ol’ country man who served in the army for 4 years. he’s an absolute gentleman. he won’t even let me talk about sex much. he looks me in the eyes even when i have cleavage. his laugh is infectious. what can i do to get him back? may 7, 2012, 1:19 am andi same situation with my ex boyfriend. would want to marry me then call it off, it was a vicious cycle. the last time i was prepared to move across the country to be with him. 4 yrs wasted in an on & off relationship with him. but ultimately him backing out & leaving me w/out housing was the last straw but that point i was so resentful towards him that we could never be together again. my advice to you would be to give him some space to think. i know it’s hard because you’ve sacrificed everything for him. but you might drive him away instead of salvaging your relationship. if he does this again (proposes & renigs) save yourself the trouble & leave him. & that’s coming from someone who lived it. september 6, 2012, 3:59 pm presley hi, so theres this really cute guy i saw yesterday at knotts berry farm (an amusment park) and me and my friends are freaking out, because he is so cute. so we decided to follow him (yeah, i know kind of creepy) and he keeps looking back at me.. so my friend decides to yell ” hey hottie, my friend thinks your cute” and she points to me when she said that then he turns aroud, he totally heard it! and he fixes his hair, and then we walks up to me. then he said “hey” then i said “hi” and im blushing. then he keeps on checking me out, and scooting closer to me) then he said to me and my friend ” im gonna hang out with you guys, okay?” and we said k. and then were standing there just me, him, and my friend, and he’s really close to me. so he kept on checking me out, and then he said to me “hey, do you wanna go make out?” and i had a mini heart attack! and then im trying to think what i should do! since i dont even know his name, i said “im good”, it was really awkward… i kind of felt bad.. and i wished i said yes. ( but i hope i made the right desicion) and my friend is standing there, and its all awkward.. but then we said “im gonna go on a ride, lets meet up here when were done” and we never saw each other again… im really sad, i didnt even get his number! and i keep on thinking about him, i will never find anyone more perfect than him.. please be honest, do you guys think he is thinking about me, like im thinking about him? may 6, 2012, 8:57 pm andria hi, i had this guy who loved me alot. for two years after being in relation, he suddenly started moving away. i was broken in the beginning but over time i took hold of myself and moved on . but i still love him. after 6 months he came back and called me up to hang out. we went out for movies and dinners and started having fun again. but now again he has started to stay away. he does not call or text me. i am completely fine with that also. but i really want him to like me the way he used to like me before. i wish to be in relation with him forever. its just that whenever i also start being close to him, he starts to move away. and now even after one month of no contact from me he doesn’t remember to call me and instead when i called him today he just said that he was busy. should i go and seriously slap him now ? april 26, 2012, 9:50 am leo well there is this guy and we have been dating since december of 2010 . he use to chase after me like he would text and call me alot, we would have wonderful conversations, and he wasn’t ashamed of me to anyone even his family. this year we had broken up because we got in a situation that i will not say. we still talk and we got over the situation but he changed. our conversations are boring unless we would talk about him wanting to have sex with me. we still make out and he says he loves me only if i make him say that. if i would talk about us getting back together, he would not respond or say that he would not want to talk about it. he also says the same thing over and over every single day and it is “k” and “ok”. it bothers me alot and i do not know how he is feeling about me. im still in love with him and i can’t get over it because we had something special together. what should i do ? and yes this may sound confusing by the way. april 21, 2012, 9:39 pm anon so this guy i like he came to me and asked for my number but we were friends like aquantances and then this year he got my number and texted me saying sweet things, one night i stayed over his house nothing but foreplay and a few days later he said we should just be friends but he had a gf and eventually we stopped talking, once he broke up with her he came back to me and we recently go into a fight last week on friday and he got mad when i texted him tuesday he said dont talk to me anymore and i asked why all he said was just don’t. so what should i do now because i do like him and i care for him how do i know if he still cares, what am i suppose to do now because i dont know at this point. april 19, 2012, 10:33 pm t i met a guy randomly in a store, we flirted, he asked for my number, he called and msged consistently, we had a great first date – had excellent conversation and laughed the whole time. had a good second date as well, then suddenly the texting isnt coming in, and i ahvent heard from him in 4 days! the last msg was from me saying “let me know when youre free”. should i face up to the reality that hes just not that into me? or should i msg him? april 10, 2012, 7:37 am clueless what if you told this guy how you feel and he ends up without any answer. but few weeks later you hang out at the same place as the guy you like because that was the normal original spot where i always hang out. then two weeks later, he tries to get my attention with flirting and it seems to work but his friend always seems to bother me with the teasing. then later on, we broken our friendship because of his friend say or told him about rumors that made him mad at me. after that we are no longer friends. two months later we saw each other at the party and he seems to have interested in me. do i chase him or leave him behind even if he is the one who broke off our friendship because of some tease. it is hard to explain but that is how i put it. april 9, 2012, 5:44 pm shaniiee me and this guy used to be friends for about 3 years. then suddenly he acted like he was really really interested in me this year. i asked him if he was using me but he said he wasnt. we were kinda together at the time. we both decided to become friends again. then he decided to be nasty to me. now he is totally ignoring me n i dont know why. i just dont understand him anymore. i had feelings for him for a while. but those feelings are gone now. i miss him. i want him to be chasing me again on texts instead of me chasing him. april 9, 2012, 10:48 am leo i have the same exact situation and i have no idea what to do either…just saying… :) april 21, 2012, 9:47 pm parul bt should i send him msg again and again.. v both are shy type april 5, 2012, 6:57 am manoj yes u can talk to him no problem and afterall parul you are very very matured enough to think what to do in the correct time so its not a problem for you april 5, 2012, 6:52 am parul bt should i send him msg again and again.. v both are shy type.. or should i wait for him to message me..? april 5, 2012, 7:01 am greg all you girls are really stupid.. regardless of the situation, all you need to do is challenge the poor guy. and you can do this with anything! the way you act, speak, and do stuff. if you don’t challenge your man/boyfriend/what-ever, then he will lose interest. remember. a guy isn’t looking for a sweet girl. no he wants a challenge first, and sweet girl second. being a challenge will make you look sexy, because he has to work a little bit harder for you, and in the end he will love you for it. in short, be a little bit bitchy. i’m a guy. i know what i’m talking about. but it’s up to you to listen, or just continue your petty way’s to lead up to this point. your call. april 3, 2012, 9:16 am chanel te best thing i’ve heard that can help me:) april 29, 2012, 11:22 am sylvia greg i agree! here is my two cents on this matter………. not trying to toot my own horn but i pay hard to get to an extent and interested in a wa y to make him curious which makes you seem like a challenge. im very out spoken and speak my mind no matter what! my aggressive, honesty, goofy, and confident personality makes guys want me even more besides the fact im a bad ass with qualities every man wants to have in a woman! hehe :) women be confident! know you are the ruler! you run this not the man! its all about acting interested and not interesting in one; if that makes sense? dont be clingy, annoying, constantly expressing your feelings, bitchy, jealous, desperate, or pushy. everybody wants what they cant have…. højre? so why not act interested but in a not so clingy way. for instance you may hang out one night and everything goes awesome and you think about him the rest of the night, but dont let him know that!… the next day let him text you first! and be short. it will keep him guessing and interested and trust me he will want you more and more. just my opinion though!!! june 14, 2012, 11:14 pm sylvia i meant play hard to get!…. not pay lol june 14, 2012, 11:16 pm mountain mike it’s even easier than you think. forget all the cloak and dagger crap and chase him. women want to be equal. this is your chance. march 31, 2012, 8:30 pm joy hey the article is good.but im still in dilemma. i met this guy online 3years ago..we were such good friends untill last year around april when he finally asked for my contact and asked that we meet. it all went well n soon after he started texting me quite more often..i wasnt so sure about it but i was always nice to him..we got really close and wouldn’t go a day without texting each other finding out about everything from family to what we did all day. we hanged out a lot often too he even invited me to his bro’s bday party where i met his mom who was very nice n also very inquisitive about me. i know almost all his cousins with whom he hangs out alot n they even recognize me as his girlfriend.problem is, we’ve never really talked about us and our relationship.im a shy girl and i think he too is abit shy about it. recently he met another girl, he has not told me yet but i can tell from how she tweets him and last friday i snooped through his phone and found out they have been texting each other alot and he’s just as nice to her as he was to me when we first met. they’ve even hanged out together a few times behind my back. haven’t asked him about her but i think i should.we still talk and he still cares but you can tell things are not the same as before.sometimes he texts later than before n leaves our convos hanging. i finally asked him what he thinks about us n he said maybe we should talk about it the next time we hook up. im so scared n sad too coz i donno what will happen n i really do like him..im almost certain to say i’m in love with him.please help!! march 28, 2012, 3:04 am kate well i really like this guy and we talked like once and he is a player and he only likes girls that are slut, i cant help it i really like him and i want him to fall for me, what can i do?? march 23, 2012, 7:06 pm manoj first thing you have to do is study your friend how he is where he is staying and all then you continue the further process ok kate you become more close march 24, 2012, 6:12 am jane please help i was with my ex for 4yrs,i kinda ended it but he ended it in the end but says i did,we didnt speak for a month or so,we started talking again and hanging out,i thought we were on the path to get back together because of the things he was saying and doing but when we talked he says he doesnt want a relationship but he’s not acting like it…… someone please help i dont no what to do march 23, 2012, 4:27 pm manoj hello jane my opinion is that if your ex-mate wants a pure relationship then only you become close to him other wise you are wasting time ,if he is innocent love with you then only you become close to him otherwise there is chances that you can be seperated again its not a joke be serious march 24, 2012, 6:20 am vanessa i have been with my fiancé for 3 years! the first year we were in the total honey moon stage, he’d surprise me with flowers chocolate take me out, wine and dine me… well a year and a half into our relationship i got pregnant and that couldn’t have brought us any more joy! ( i forgot to mention that he was my neighbor of 3 years before we started dating) well during my pregnancy he couldn’t have been any more perfect while i became this evil pregnant bitch! i was horrible i put him through hell ! i didn’t mean it personally i swear! it was my tweaked out hormones, i was so bad i’d through things , kick him out, i even slapped him ! but he still stayed! after our son was born things got better but we than started to fight about normal baby stuff , his fights usually started with ” well my mom ” and that just ticked me off . our son is now 10 months and the fighting is better from than but now our fights are because he doesn’t talk to me , he keeps everything bottled up till he explodes and his out bursts are just getting more frequent and more violent , idk what to do and i’m trying to make things better , i cook , i clean, and take care of the baby by myself so he isn’t stressed after a long day of work, i’ve told him repeatedly all he has to do is communicate with me! and his is ” i’m a man i don’t express myself , that’s some girly shit” … real mature right? Vær venlig at hjælpe mig! ( he now likes to tell me ” we need a break” or he just can’t take my attitude anymore, and won’t deal with it the rest of his life ” ) i’m so confused ! i need help! march 21, 2012, 2:18 pm manoj there is no problem with you actually try to become more close to each other love him more then he will also love you.try to go out with your baby for a week go for an outting for a week or so then you all will be happy dont kick him again and tell him with love ,your love will change him also this will be your new life entry god will bless you my best wishes try to be happy always cook him his best dishes he will be happy become mature enough now you are a mom so you have to be mature enough , and treat him well he will be also change march 24, 2012, 6:28 am nicole ok i know this guy from work and he gave me his # and we only text eachother for one week we never talk on the phone.he asked me out for a movie but i told him” i dont wanna go out with u bc i think u r kind of a player and ive heard u have all the girls number. ” he was mad at me and said we dont need to talk anymore but i really like him what can i do to make him ask me out again its been three day since he stops text me.i never text him bc i dont wanna b needy will he talk to me again march 15, 2012, 10:44 am cia hey, why do you really want to pursue him now? it seems like his response to you has worked perfectly and now you want him and are thinking of ways to “get him to come back”. if you look at your message, all the reasons why you shouldn’t even bother with this guy are right there. 1. he gave you his number. i consider that a lazy move from guys, then he can sit back and have you come to him (along with the other girls he gives his number to). 2. he never called you. if he’s interested he’d want to talk to you and get to know you. a lot of guys don’t like talking on the phone the way girls do but at least in the very beginning they would so they can show their interest or at the very least, pretend to care. 3. your instinct was to tell him no- always follow your instinct. 4. he’s a bit of a player. do you really want to be another girl on his list? unless he shows you with his actions from the beginning that you are more than just another girl, why put yourself in the firing line? 5. when you told him how you felt he got mad and said you don’t need to speak anymore? if he cared for you or your opinion of him, he would be an adult and tell you that what you said was wrong or that it bothered him since you don’t really know him and he can show you what he is really like. 6. he’s a guy from work. this is usually a bad idea! trust yourself and your instincts. my advice would be to leave it alone, but that’s just me. if not, then leaving it alone is probably what you should do to get him to notice you again anyway, since ignoring them and going on with your life usually seems to get their attention. march 17, 2012, 10:57 pm purelydreamt this article makes sense as far as it doesn’t matter so much what the guy does as long as you are happy in your life you will be fulfilled and not obsessing over him. but in my case i am confused about one thing: been friends with this guy he did all those cutsie 3rd grade things but was also subtly affectionate and bent over backwards to do anything for me, and i always appreciated him and never took him for granted and i even flirted back while maintaining my own life. we were just barely starting to hang out one on one when he got distant and just kept hanging out with mutual friends more and we didn’t talk as much. as time went on we started arguing a lot for no reason and wed do this off and on. now its at the point where he doesn’t say much to me if he does he’s always nice and sweet but its just small talk. can’t blame him there were days where i paid him no mind. i realize now that i wasn’t handling things right cause its just game playing. so i’m making more effort but not being needy so for its sorta working, he’s slowly starting to initiate but its not like before. how can i get him to r ealize i have value and that i do care for him february 28, 2012, 11:38 pm keegan what do you suggest for those girlfriends who also have a child with, and live-in with the boyfriend? how do we act to encourage him to be interested/woo us again? february 28, 2012, 12:18 pm stacie so i have liked this guy for along time and we have had a few things before. one night was perfect and then from there on it wasnt so great. so i stopped talking to him /looking at him for months on edge. the new year came along and all we ever do is look at eachother! and when im with friends and im looking the other way they will be like he just looked at you. in a basketball game not to sound kreepy or anything but we counted how many times he looked at me.. 25 time. hes in 2 of my classes now and i try to say hi to him. one day in math i found out he was moving.. it tore me apart and at that moment i thought well i have nothing to loose so go talk to him! before the bell rang i asked to talk to him. when the bell rang i waited for him and then we talked till i got to my locker. i asked him if he would be interested in hanging out and he said yeah he will see what hes doing that weekend, and i said he should message me and he said he will. he never did. and i did and he still didnt. but hes gone for a week now. i just want to be friends with him and hang out atleast once before hes gone, and i never see him again. i will regret this so much if i dont try my hardest and everyday i try now. what do i do from here? february 19, 2012, 6:09 pm kitty the guy am seeing has been withdrawing over the past two weeks. that weekend there he surprised me at my regular club (after telling me he was going to another), i didn’t hang about him all night i did my own thing and left him and his mate to do there own thing. when i did see him he would kiss me in front of other girls etc. i brought up the fact we had barely spoke he said he had stuff going on so i asked him does he want me to back off he told me no he didn’t want that so i dropped the subject and went back to kissing him and stuff. but he hasn’t spoke a word to me since and i feel like lately am the one doing all the contact :/ he says he is bad for texting and i can deal with that but not hearing a word makes me feel like he isn’t interested. yet he will do really sweet things when he does see me :s february 9, 2012, 9:28 am madison okay. i literally read this jaw-dropping attention as the situation and advice applied exactly to my situation. i have been stressing over my guy’s actions lately (hence, on this site) and i am so glad i stumbled upon advice that actually made sense and convinced me not to play games to get him back! this is brilliant. february 6, 2012, 1:45 pm madison i think it is so true that women want to be in control the relationship, and that is why we come on these forums confused and angry! thank you for opening my eyes to themotivs behind my actions i couldn’t recognize, and for being a man by helping us girls out! february 6, 2012, 1:49 pm eric charles i’m really glad you liked this article. . people want to talk about games and manipulation, but really in the end it’s about learning to be happy and fulfilled within yourself and moving through the world that way. . the truth is a person can manipulate another person in the short term, but it’s not long before they see the manipulation for what it is and once they do it’s over for good. but when you’re happy and generous with yourself and select a winner (not a greedy loser who’s going to just feed off of you), then you’ll enjoy all the joy a great relationship can bring. february 6, 2012, 2:13 pm confused??? so this guy tells all his frat brothers and a few of my sisters that he really likes me and has never met a girl like me before. he knows how i feel about him; that i really like him, however he keeps making plans and gets out of them or flakes last minute…for instance we made plans to meet for lunch on a monday, but he was sick so it got moved to thursday. on tuesday night he says he forgot that he had a meeting to attend…that has been his excuse several times…this weekend he cancels dinner in friday, makes me find him that night at a party. we hang out all night and he says see u tomorrow; only to “forget his phone” and ignore me all day after asking me out…and again today. what does this mean???? february 5, 2012, 9:32 pm cia it means he’s not really interested. if he was he wouldn’t jeopardize all these chances to be with you. he wouldnt want to blow it. he obviously doesn’t value the fact that you want to see him too and every time you go ahead and reschedule with him it shows him that he can get away with it. i know you like him, but it sounds like you need to stop wasting your time on him and spend it on someone who’s worth it like yourself, friends or someone else who comes along once you’re no longer occupied with him. good luck :-) february 13, 2012, 8:40 pm presy this is great i most say.i just got this quick question.i mean i am not blowing my trumpet but i know am cultured with great potentials but not only that ,also pretty and love fashion.meaning every guy meets me some how gets attracted to me.but unfortunately,i always have a problem with the men or guys who come to me.i have been wondering,i try really hard for someone not to notice my flaws,wc anger is one.i use to talk to this guy and he suddenly stop talking to me.i do like him,and it really hurts thoe and am more than bothered.i mean we have over 2000text messages in less than 2months.i mean if he doesn’t feel me like that again why doesn’t he just make me know.i believe things happen.i enjoy his friendship and accompany. february 4, 2012, 12:46 am presy this is great i most say.i just got this quick question.i mean i am blowing m trumpet but i know am cultured with great potentials but not only that ,also pretty and love fashion.but unfortunately,i always have a problem with the men or guys who come to me.i have been wondering,i try really hard for someone not to notice my flaws,wc anger is one.i use to talk to this guy and he suddenly stop talking to me.i never liked him but i can’t believe everyday i think of him and what wrong i did.i am so sure but i need help thoe. february 4, 2012, 12:36 am chammy so im having this issue with my ex we didnt work out because he never made time for me but as soon as we broke up he was calling me and telling me he misses me and how good i am, he doesnt want to let me go he loves me and blah blah blah. then we just agreed to just have sex and thats fine with me, but he acts as if he wants to spend time with me but never does it. so now we were suppose to meet for our sexual escapade and one minute he is just blowing up my phone like yea i want to see you etc. etc. and then the next i go to see him and its a different story….idk im tired of the the talk and no walk i thought this would be simple since we had an understanding or at least i thought we did but its the same bs february 1, 2012, 12:23 am courtney i love this boy so much i will never let him go you dont no how much i love him i will tell you how much i love him. when he crys i cry when he run i run with him. when his head down mine is too when he is in trobble i will help him get out of it and i cry. when he goes up stairs with his tss i cry because i miss him when i am not with him. when his heart is broken mine is broken more. because i love him. when i go to my house i cry i am not with him. and if he goes any where i go with him when i see him i freak out i be like laughing talking too him i am all over the place i am goning too love him forever . no matter what people say to me i wil keep him close to my heart for ever january 11, 2012, 4:51 pm kat great article and all true. im living proof. met a guy in august and moved to same city because my mom lives here. when me and him met initially i was involved with someone else. he was chasing hard. i broke up with old boyfriend and moved here and now im hearing things like “lets take things slow.” etc. he invites me over or comes here and stays on his telephone for hours. its like hes punishing me. he states he still stays in contact with ex girlfriends and im supposed to be cool with that….yea right. im turning the tides. today he called and instead of staying on the phone i let him know i was on another call. ive been too available and have allowed him to pace the relationship. now im reversing everything. january 10, 2012, 1:55 am lake how is it working out for u. my boyfriend and i have been together for 2 years and he takes me for granted. i have cut off contacting him. i only respond to him with 1 word answers in text politely. am i doing right january 18, 2012, 10:22 pm greg don’t cut off silly. be a challenge, and let him see you enjoying your life without him, but be gentle about this. april 3, 2012, 9:18 am alex he use to tell me he loved me quite frequently via text… email & in person. we’ve had a breakup and are seeing eachother again trying to rebuild this. since our breakup he doesnt say he loves me anymore… not by texts or on the phone… i only hear him whisper it when he holds me or thinks im asleep! ??? its not like he’s never said it before! i do feel sum kind of wall or block… he says we’re missing intimacy. yet he… i dont get it. we’ve known eachother for 10 years been dating for 2years… any idea what this means? january 4, 2012, 4:51 am ladyj it probably means he was deeply hurt by the breakup, and most likely it still hurts him, and he is afraid to say too much and show his vulnerable side. while you’ve been together before and have known each other for so long, you still broke up, and you can’t just pretend that it didn’t happen, you have rebuild that relationship, to start over and take things slow. it’s a good thing that he still tells you he loves you, even if he only does it when he thinks you’re sleeping. just appreciate those moments, take it slow and work on whatever went wrong in the first place. january 27, 2012, 10:49 pm pretty lit lady i have been dating a guy i met trought one of my good friends. it about three months dating him. he is the type of guy text few times at day depends on his work schedule, he calls and talks more over the phone but not everyday. he beings very sweet, kind, thoughtful and never left me hanging on a text before. we had spent last weekend friday day before xmas eve together, he surprised me with a basquet of chocolate and a cute piece of jewerly he knows a like crosses. we don’t have a title yet of what we have or what we r heading to.. he introduced me twice to his close friends different times, and he treated me very affectioned and in one point i felt were a couple. its been two days i don’t hear from him. his last text was monday night saying he had a good day with friends and family. wishing me a great night and he will keep me updated for thursday. i did invited him this thursday for roller skates with some of my friends and cousins. i don’t know what to think about why is he acting like that? i don’t know what to do either. please i need advise. tak. december 28, 2011, 9:10 pm numb hey so ive just split from my ex boyfriend and i am devastated to say the least i was with him for 3 years and he was and is my first love. i am tryin to get him back with all my power but im not gonna lie its exhausting…however i do feel that he is worth it. the thought of him being with someone else, smiling with them, laughin with them and kissin them the way he was with me makes me feel physically sick and like i could just burst into tears. heres the thing… and your all gonna say time to move on blah blah blah but please dont… please help me figure out how to get him back….i have caught him on a few dating websites..chattin to lots of girls but none have responded to him (cant help but feel a little bit happy by that) i wondered if he would be missin me and thinkin about me… and if he has joined these sites as a way to pass the time and to get some attention??? hvad synes du? he has also started running at night and he never done this before… now i have joined the gym as a way to stop me from thinkin about him when im in my room at night… do you think he has started running as a way of distracting himself from thinkin about me? cheers december 13, 2011, 12:14 pm someone ok im 12 i will not say my name and please answer back but i have a crush on someone and he dosent know me but i love him and i would text him but he probbaly blocked me and i dont know what to do and are school is going to a movie next friday and i wanted him to sit with me but he thinks im a stalker. december 12, 2011, 7:30 pm elaine i just spent 3 days super-chasing my boyfriend who wanted ‘space’. luckily i now feel ok to give him his ‘space’ but it feels so bad – physically. thing is, i know i have to do this for there to be any chance of us restoring our relationship. if i chase, it’ll be ended for good. if i do no contact, there’s a chance. i’m not really sure what to do now though… i have 3 children and he knows my routine, so i can’t start suddenly having a new life to allow him to chase me. he did say that he needs time to feel that he misses me, as he’s not had the chance to feel that for a while and it makes him feel like there’s something missing in the relationship. he’s used to ex’s who have messed him about, actually not treated him well, so i guess, he’s used to the chase and with me he hasn’t had that. i have always been available, well almost always. not because i’ve re-arranged my life for him, just that i’m here and if he is only able to see me on say weds, then i can do my hobby on another night – it feels petty to say i’m doing my hobby on that exact night, the only one he has available. so, i’m struggling to work out how to give him the feeling of the chase. any ideas? december 11, 2011, 2:33 pm ana i have to thank you eric for all the great advice you give on this site. basically, my story is that i’ve been seeing this guy for a little more than a month. i think i have been pretty good about not being too needy. this was all important to me because i finally met a guy i really liked and in the past i did everything that your not supposed to do in relationship and low and behold, i drove all of them away!! this relationship i have started out amazing with him texting me all this sweet stuff and saying all these nice things to me. now, he is withdrawing and just doesn’t seem as interested as before but he still sets up dates and i can tell he somewhat wants to see me. we see each other usually once during the week and try to on the weekends but the past couple of weekends i haven’t been seeing him. during the week when we don’t see each other we text occasionally but he has gotten bad at responding. he still seems like he wants to see me and take me out, but i think i want more out of this because we only text occasionally during the day and don’t talk on the phones. i’m at a point in my life where i want to spend weekends with someone and connect with someone and i’m not sure why he is withdrawing because i think i was pretty reserved/not needy. my question is, do you think its worth it to stay in this? also, am i asking for too much too soon? i don’t need to talk to him or see him every second of the day but it would be nice to talk a bit more to get closer and learn more about him. i brought up that i wish we could speak to each other more during the week like on the phone and not texting and maybe we don’t want the same things, ect. but he hasn’t responded yet (i just sent that a little while ago). should i look for someone else? i really like him but do you think its just a phase or should i give up? november 20, 2011, 7:23 pm someone im in high school and i like this guy we used to talked last yr alot and this yr i dont have any classes with him and i barley see him. i talked to him la few times this yr. hes really popular so its hard and alot of girls like him. i asked for his number and he gave it to me but he never texted me back. he never talks to me i always have to go talk to him. and now one of these girls who is popular and his friend is telling everyone i like him whenever im around(i have a class with her) what do i do? and what does this mean? please dont say move on thank you november 12, 2011, 6:10 pm lala theres this thing i heard of in a magazine…called the rubber band effect… actually quite effective. think it was in cosmo but im sure you can find the info anywhere! november 11, 2011, 10:35 am eric charles yeah… i think i’ve heard that phrase before. can’t think of what it is at the moment, but i’m pretty sure i heard mentioned somewhere else too (i don’t read cosmo). :) november 12, 2011, 5:04 pm jody it’s from “men are from mars, women are from venus.” november 20, 2011, 3:50 pm jennica so i met this guy on the internet don’t laugh please and we were talkin for a while he’s in the middle of divorce and blew up my email in the beginning telling me he found me and was immediately attracted to me we are exactly alike from ny and have the same things in common he loves my eyes and my blonde hair and we both have kids he wants to get rid of his house and car and give it all to his wife so he can complete the divorce and move on he told me he really thinks i could be the one to help him move on and he wants me to take off work to meet up with him and otherwise we would meet up on the weekend he kept telling me that and also told me he wants to have babys’ and asked me to be his girl blah blah and move on with his life and then he stopped answereing his phone when we were suppose to meet up and emailed me back appoligizing tellin me he lost his phone but then called me from his phone and told me he ordered a new o ne if u lost your phone why woulld u be on the phone u said u lost and then i found out the business he told me started wasn’t in fact his business it was someone else’s that he works with he is just a worker and he gave me a address inviting me over and i couldn’t even find it on mapquest and i even looked for the address and the address was no where to be found he jsut moved here from ny so i thought maybe he just got the address name wrong but i couldn’t have been more wrong a few nights ago i was hangin out with a friend for my bday they brought drinks over and we headed to the hot tub i was honest and told him wat i was doin and he automaticly said why are u tellin me ur goin to the hot tub with a friend i’m not trying to play games my daughter is the most important in my life and i don’t have time for this lose my number and the best of luck to u with ur life and then ten min later he calls me doesn’t answer and then i try calling back he answers and says i can visit him now i’m confused as hell seeing as though i’ve been blowing up his phone with voicemails and texts and emails what do i do to get his attention again and get him chasing me again? september 29, 2011, 10:30 pm shawtee jennica … hun stop chasing after him he sound fricken bipolar -.- yess u might still have that sort of connect but hey once u keep givin him all this attetntsion he will kinda think its desprite no offense :/ ease up with everything … make it look liek your happy and u dnt need him … nd hopefully he will coem runnin back . if not he was just a dream seller honey :( september 29, 2011, 10:41 pm victoria i knew a guy who liked me 4 years back but when he asked me out back then i turned him down knowing i loved him back because he was known as a “player” and i decided to stop communicating with him for a while but we started talking a few months back.. it was the 1st time we talked in 4 years… and we still had the same feelings for eachother… and i finally gave in and we got together … after a week i introduced him to my good friend,lets call her “y” and him “x”.. and they got close… we started getting into fights and “y” was always there to comfort “x” and he broke up with me after a month and got with her the very same day :’( i know “y” well for the past 8 years… but she accepted him only because she felt lonely.. but she was really in love with someone else.. and she decided to break up with him after the 3rd week.. when they were going through a break up i was always there for both of them.. and my ex wanted me back and promised not to hurt or leave me again and he told me that im the one that he truly likes.. so i thought to give him a 2nd chance.. and after 3 days he left me again because he wanted my friend back badly… but she turned him down because she din wanna get hurt again…what do i do?? he’s not talking to me… i really care for him… i do want him but not sure if its right.. and how do i get him back? september 28, 2011, 3:22 am shawtee *sigh* guys are so much to handle and u gatta know what your handling .. and on the other hand u gatta know how to make them feel good and liek u care …but in a good way … a girl should never be teh chaser the guys have to coem to the girls :) in my opinion :d becuase u dnt wanna be chasing chasing ….then at the end u did that for nothing …but really u just look desperate and and needy . independent ..wise .and smart ..:) u will have him in a blink of an eye :) august 12, 2011, 11:06 pm tee i want to hang out with this guy, and i still want to give him a chase. he rarely asks me to hang out with him because he is busy. i want him to feel like he has to work to hang out with me but if he asks i feel like if i dont say yes i wont see him for a long time. how should i answer next time he asks? i still want him to chase me. may 24, 2011, 8:38 pm cia it seems as if he is not that interested if he is not making the effort to meet up. being busy is understandable but if you really want to see someone, you will. i’m sure if you were super busy or tired, but really wanted to see him you would still try your best to make it happen. if he asks just say that you have plans for that occasion but you can arrange something thats suitable for you both and arrange it in that same convo. november 4, 2011, 12:40 am sy i’m so glad i’m reading these. the thing is, i realized he really wasn’t just ditching me out of the blue when he stopped talking. i’d put myself down and he’d say “i hate when you do that. why do you always do that?” and “be more confident”, he’d reassure me with “cheer up!” and “because i love you and i think you’re awesome!” but never really anything specific to build me up, and i hated it. i know i’ve been coming on really strong lately, i want to say things and i just can’t control it, i feel like honesty is the only way i’ll get anywhere. i should’ve noticed when he said “ha yeah” as a response…*facepalm*. i also realized that he paid way more attention to me after i didn’t say much to him when we hung out with other friends. i thought it was just seeing me in the flesh that did it, but now i realize it’s because i act way less needy in person, like way way less. and that’s when he likes me the most. but i also want to compliment him all the time…how do i find a happy medium with that? :/ march 22, 2011, 9:07 pm california @ me.. he sounds like he wants his cake & eat it to.. he wants both & knows he can have it.. february 20, 2011, 7:49 am someoneee hey everyone. im at a very young age and already having allll these issues with a guy. hes put me under the stress of a fish being out of water and trying to get back in again, all year and now its summer and i need a break. he wont let me do that. apparently his mind changes from day to day to week to week, whether he really still likes me or not…dont have a clue in this world. but im going to listen to everybodys advice with not chasing after him anymore, and if when i dont chase him he doesnt follow me back…im done with him for good. i knew i shud have been a long time ago and my parents and sister were driving me crazy with them saying how i should just get the frick over him, but i couldnt and i think nows the time. its really nice to know that im not alone suffering my problems that no one else had, but this article it was like “has this guy eric met me?” “did he write this article because he has been following my life for the past year?” thanks everyone :) july 24, 2010, 11:29 am sweetee this whole thing is a cat and mouse game. when you pay attention to a guy, he likes it. but he won’t chase as much. when you stop paying attention, they get worried and chase you harder. lol. you have to hold back girls. don’t fall too hard. keep your cool and your mind busy. casually text or call him. but don’t over do it. hard to do, guys seem to get by pretty easy. but in reality they want to see if we are still interested and they hold back as well. june 27, 2010, 12:30 pm marge i have a wall up, but i don’t know how to change that, it’s just the way i am i guess… dating is even harder like this! june 25, 2010, 6:08 pm scared i’m trying not to chase a guy right now but i feel like i’m sending mixed signals. dating is just too hard. i’m going to crawl under a rock. june 24, 2010, 1:21 pm alynda bryan you shouldn’t do that . it wastes your time , he could be going after another girl . july 13, 2011, 9:50 pm