Spørg en fyr: Hvordan kan jeg få min ekskæreste tilbage?

rita walisisk du er en meget flink kvinde, og du er beregnet til at blive passet, elsket og forkælet med omhu. din mand må aldrig få dig til at græde, fordi du er en dejlig kvinde med et godt hjerte, som mit hjerte fortæller mig. Jeg adlyder altid mit hjertes anmodning, fordi det aldrig før har ført mig forkert. mit hjerte er min guide. 14. august 2017, 11:42 nhat .my Jeg har et nøjagtigt det samme problem med dig. det handler om, at hans bedstemor døde, han har ikke et job, jeg var perfekt i forholdet,…. alt er det samme. nu er jeg forvirret, og jeg ved ikke, hvad jeg skal gøre. 12. juni 2017, 1:16 am ember ærligt tak så meget for dit svar. Jeg har haft en hjertesorg i så lang tid, og jeg vil forbedre mit forhold til min tidligere kæreste. dit perspektiv har virkelig påvirket min dag, og jeg kan sige, at jeg vil tage hvert ord, du har sagt resten af ​​mit liv. tak skal du have. 6. juni 2017, 11:01 tifany hvis din eks fortæller dig, at han aldrig vil tale med dig nogensinde igen, er der stadig en mulighed for at få ham tilbage, hvis han bor i et andet land? 6. maj 2017, 07:10 konstantina jeg brød op med min elskede eks på grund af nogle problemer, vi havde..Han sagde altid til mig, at han vil dræbe sig selv og efter en lang periode med at forsøge at hjælpe ham, tog han af sted til sit job i den hellenske flåde ... så efter nogen tid af de problemer, han havde, fortalte jeg ham at bremse op ... og fandt derefter en anden efter et stykke tid, så jeg kunne overvinde min elskede ... og da, fordi jeg ville vende tilbage til eks, der elskede mig meget, og det gjorde jeg også, sendte den nye ham fotos og sagde, at jeg snydte ham, noget der ikke var sandt ... og han truede mig med at være med ham ellers ville jeg have problemer ... og så, min eks hadede mig..9 måneder gik og jeg elsker ham stadig og vil have ham tilbage, og jeg ved ikke hvordan jeg skal fortælle ham .... han har også fortalt alle det værste om mig og sammen lavede jeg en hadeklik mod mig .... jeg er virkelig trist, jeg ved ikke hvad jeg skal gøre ... 27. marts 2017, 23.12 rebecca hej mark - min kæreste brød lige op med min omkring to og en halv uger siden. selvom vi kun er 17, var vores forhold meget modent og stærkt. vi talte begge om fremtidige planer som ægteskab og børn, og vi var begge på samme side. vi har været sammen i cirka 1,5 år. vi var et så stærkt par, fuldstændig forelsket. vores forhold var meget seriøst. han gav mig en løftering, og vi sagde altid, at vi skulle være sammen for evigt. hans familie elskede mig og min familie elskede ham. vi var virkelig et godt par, der havde fælles interesser. der var et par problemer tidligere. han er meget følsom, og når han bliver stresset, kan han ikke håndtere meget følelser. på grund af dette 'brød han op' med mig tidligere. det var ikke rigtig et brud, han holdt bare op med at tale med mig. det tog kun en eller to dage for ham at række ud. han sagde, at han var så ked af det, og at han var så ødelagt, da han ikke talte til mig. han sagde, at han ikke kunne se sig selv sammen med nogen anden, og 'opbruddet' gjorde ham syg. Jeg troede, at denne gang ville være som de tidligere, men efter et par dage var han stadig kold. det er cirka to og en halv uge nu, siden han brød op med mig, og en uge siden sidste gang vi talte. ud af det blå stoppede han bare med at tale med mig. vi går på samme skole, og der taler vi normalt, men en dag begyndte han at undgå mig og stoppede også med at sende en sms til mig. et par dage senere fandt jeg ham inden skolen og forsøgte at spørge ham, hvad der foregik. han svarede ikke rigtig. da jeg spurgte ham, om han stadig ville være sammen, trak han alt på skuldrene. Jeg var meget ked af hans svar og gik bare væk. da jeg ikke hørte et svar fra ham de næste par dage, besluttede jeg at sende en sms til ham. Jeg sagde, at jeg savnede ham og spurgte, hvad der foregik, da han ikke rigtig gav mig et svar før. han svarede, at jeg var ond mod ham og beskyldte ham for alt og gjorde narr af ham. Jeg anede ikke, hvor det var kommet fra, og da jeg spurgte ham, svarede han ikke rigtig. Jeg var så ødelagt. et par dage senere var jeg stadig så ked af det. Jeg besluttede at sende en sms til ham og spørge, om han ville tale med mig, hvis jeg kom over. han svarede bare, at jeg skulle lade ham være i fred. det har været omkring en uge siden da. Jeg har set et par billeder af ham på sociale medier. han virker helt fin. hænge ud med venner og smilende. tror du, han bare ikke er ligeglad? vores forhold var så stærkt, og det giver bare ikke mening, at det er forbi. han var så forelsket i mig og kunne ikke engang stå en dag uden at sige, at han savner mig. og endda omkring to timer før han begyndte at ignorere mig, talte vi som normalt. undskyld for den lange fortælling, men jeg er bare ikke sikker på, hvad jeg skal gøre. tror du, vi stadig har en chance, og hvad skal jeg i bekræftende fald gøre? tak rebecca 1. januar 2017, 23:52 rebecca undskyld! Jeg mente Eric. mit exes navn er marc så jeg blev forvirret! 2. januar 2017, 00:06 vellex hej rebecca :) Jeg har bemærket i kommentarfeltet, at kommentarer ikke ofte besvares af forfatteren af ​​artiklen , så jeg besluttede at give et svar i håb om at hjælpe på en eller anden måde. Jeg synes, du skal gøre, hvad der står i artiklen. stop med at fokusere på at få ham tilbage og fokus på dig selv. Jeg kan fortælle dig, at jo mere du jagter en fyr, jo længere løber han, så du skal virkelig stoppe med at nå ud til ham og lade ham være i fred, som han bad om. det føles kontraintuitivt, men jeg lover dig, jo mere du jagter ham, jo ​​hurtigere skubber du ham væk. lad ham være i fred, og fokuser på dig selv. se ikke på ham som din eneste kilde til lykke. hvis han er, skal du begynde at opbygge dit liv med ting, der gør dig lykkelig - som artiklen siger. det betyder ikke, at du ikke har lov til at være trist og sørge for sammenbruddet; men du skal tage dig af dig følelsesmæssigt uanset. vis dig selv, at der er mere i dit liv og din lykke end marc. det lyder for mig som om han ikke er moden nok til at være i et forhold, hvis han ikke kan håndtere de normale kampe i livet og imødekomme dine behov. i et forhold, selv når tingene bliver virkelig hårde, skal du stadig være villig til at prioritere forholdet. hvis han holder op med at bryde med dig hver gang han følelsesmæssigt er på et dårligt sted, håndterer han ikke balancen i livet og et forhold. Det er ikke din skyld. og jeg ved ikke, om du kan få ham tilbage. Jeg tror dog det vigtige er at elske dig selv først, altid. du skal virkelig evaluere, om du vil have en partner, der forlader dig, hver gang ting bliver hårde. du kan ikke kontrollere ham - du kan kun kontrollere dig selv. så foretag ændringer i dig selv. hold op med at være fokuseret på ham og få ham tilbage, og bliv fokuseret på dig - ligesom han gør. sæt dig selv først. nogen af ​​disse forholdseksperter vil fortælle dig, at hvis du vil have din ex tilbage, skal du arbejde for at komme over dem først. det lyder også kontraintuitivt, men det er det ikke. det hjælper dig med virkelig at få et klart sind på, om denne person er kompatibel med dig eller ej, og det giver personen mulighed for at savne dig og indse deres fejl, hvis det var en. når du er i denne tåge af hjertesorg og kærlighed, kan du ikke se på det fra et klart perspektiv, og hvis du fortsætter med at kontakte ham, giver du ham ikke en chance for at savne dig. han er nødt til at savne dig og have tid bortset fra dig til at indse hans fejl, hvis det er en. tage et skridt tilbage og arbejde på at gøre dig selv glad. Jeg lover dig, hvis han virkelig vil have dig, vil han komme tilbage og forfølge dig. du er nødt til at sikre dig, at du stadig vil have ham på det tidspunkt - og frem for alt andet skal du fortsætte med at fokusere på din lykke først, selvom du kommer tilbage sammen med ham. tiden for ham at komme tilbage (hvis han gør det) varierer virkelig. nogle gange er det en måned, nogle gange er det et år. men du kan ikke vente på det. du skal arbejde på at komme videre, selvom han kommer tilbage. det vil give dig dit bedste skud på at få ham tilbage, og dit bedste skud på at være lykkelig. der er en e-bog eric charles forretningspartner har med gode anmeldelser kaldet 'få ham tilbage' af sabrina alexis. det er $ 40 og taler om de samme ting, som jeg har gennemgået, men meget mere i dybden. de giver dig dine penge tilbage om to måneder, hvis du ikke får din eks tilbage inden da. prøv det og se. Jeg er her, hvis du vil tale videre. 23. januar 2018, 8:36 mara min kæreste brød op med mig, men vi taler stadig, pls hvad kan jeg gøre for at hjælpe mig med at komme tilbage, årsag Jeg snydte ham, han er klar til at komme tilbage, men han ved ikke, hvordan, hjælp mig 21. oktober 2016, 05:26 sam hej min eks og jeg brød op for 2 uger siden, og vi forsøgte slet ikke at tale, men vi kunne kun gå to dage uden at tale. han brød op med mig, fordi han sagde, at han er utilfreds i sit liv lige nu, og at han skal finde ud af sit liv, og at han ikke også vil trække mig ned. han siger, at han stadig elsker mig. jeg elsker ham stadig. Jeg er bare forvirret over hvad jeg skal gøre. vi talte og jeg spurgte ham, om han vil hænge ud og være venner og have sex nogle gange. han sagde, at han ikke vil gøre det, fordi han ikke vil gøre det sværere for nogen af ​​os, men jeg overbeviste ham om at hænge ud med mig. vi begyndte at have sex og hænge ud. han har været bekymret for, at vi begge ikke kan komme videre, hvis vi fortsætter med at gøre dette. Jeg fortalte ham, at jeg stadig vil have ham i mit liv, og han sagde, at han stadig vil have mig i sit. han forstår bare ikke, hvorfor jeg kan have sex med ham uden at føle sig skyldig. han fortalte mig, at det at have sex med ham forvirrer ham, og han vil, men er bekymret for, at det vil gøre det svært for ham i fremtiden. Jeg vil være sammen med ham. Jeg vil gerne komme sammen igen med ham, jeg ved bare ikke hvordan. Jeg har prøvet alt. 30. september 2016, 10:27 glorimar velez hej mig og min brød op for 3 dage siden, og vi har været sammen i 1 år, og det var min skyld, fordi jeg blev ved gal. han fortalte mig, at han skulle til hans venners hus, fordi vi begge vågnede tidligt for at gå på boksekursus. og jeg fortalte ham, at vi i stedet kan gå til hans hus og hvile. men han ville ikke, og jeg blev ved med at blive sur og sagde nej, du blev her og han forlod stadig og gik ind og jeg bankede ved med at prøve at fortælle ham at komme her, da han gjorde det, han sagde, at han brød op med mig, og jeg slog ham fordi jeg var sur. vi taler stadig og hænger stadig sammen, men han vil ikke være sammen med igen, men han fortalte mig, at han stadig elsker mig. Jeg er ikke klar til, at vi er forbi, selv hans mor bad mig om ikke at give op. Jeg har bare brug for hjælp til at få ham tilbage, fordi jeg elsker ham. nogen råd om hvad jeg skal gøre. fordi jeg ikke er os. jeg har bare brug for hjælp 5. august 2016, 15:39 jay hej, så jeg stødte på din blog og vil vide, om det er meningsløst at tro, at han kommer tilbage eller har jeg et retfærdigt skud? Jeg var sammen med min kæreste i 8 år (han er 35, jeg er 29). han har brudt op med mig to gange før denne, og jeg er blevet knust hver gang. vi boede kun sammen én gang før sidste gang, du kan se, at hans mor blev diagnosticeret med en sjælden kræft, og han og hans søster gjorde dybest set det hele (deres far kunne bare ikke klare det emtionelt, tror jeg. jeg hjalp endda med rengøringer) hun døde langsomt og smertefuldt i huset. mens hans søster boede nede på gaden sammen med sin mand, blev han og hans far der, og så flyttede jeg ind. det var ikke ideelt kun i den forstand at bo under samme tag, hans mor døde, og det var ikke vores hjem, men jeg ville ikke sige noget, fordi hun var hans klippe. vi havde vores op- og nedture, vi kæmpede ikke nødvendigvis (hævede sjældent vores stemmer) mere som skænket og ja jeg nagede: / han tog på en biltur til chicago alene (vi er i San Diego, så dette var en stor tur) efter mindesmærke weekend, fordi han ikke arbejdede for at besøge familie. Han var væk i to uger, ringede og sendte en sms til mig dagligt, jeg følte virkelig, at han savnede mig, og det får jeg aldrig fra ham, for han er ikke bare kram, ikke altid romantisk, hvilket ikke er en stor ting for mig. han kom tilbage og stenede mig helt og ville ikke tale. det var da skænderiet virkelig startede. han talte med alle undtagen mig. han er så social og legende, at jeg vidste, at der var noget galt. Jeg spurgte igen og igen, hvilken jeg ikke skulle have, jeg spurgte endda specifikt 'elsker du mig, vil du have mig her, og er alt i orden?' han sagde ja, vi behøver ikke tale 24 7 jeg slipper det. Jeg ville spørge her og der, hvis alt var i orden, jeg ved igen sandsynligvis ikke skulle have. dette fortsatte i 2 uger, så for omkring 12 dage siden faldt han det på mig. kom ind i lokalet fortalte mig, at vi ikke skulle være sammen, han skal arbejde på sig selv, vi er ikke, hvor vi skulle være efter alle disse år, og så sagde jeg, at du ikke elsker mig? han sagde, at han var ked af det. Jeg græd ikke eller tiggede (lærte min lektion første gang) Jeg sagde okay ”Jeg vil ikke tvinge dig eller få dig til at gøre noget, du ikke vil gøre, jeg får mine ting og går”. han tilbød at hjælpe mig med at flytte mine ting, jeg sagde nej og gjorde det selv den næste dag. da jeg kom den næste dag efter at have grædt mig i søvn, malede han i baghaven, jeg gjorde det alene, han kom til sidst, jeg sagde, at jeg var færdig, han sagde ok farvel, gik mig til døren, sagde farvel med et blankt blik og lukkede døren bag mig. det var koldt, jeg har været så ødelagt lige siden. Jeg har ikke prøvet at ringe eller få fat i ham, men jeg er bedste ven med sin søster og er utroligt tæt på alle hans slægtninge. Jeg har talt med sin søster og hans tante / onkel ... store fejl, fordi de fortalte ham: / Jeg ville ikke have ham til at vide det, men jeg ved, at jeg tog en chance. Jeg talte også med sin bedste vens kæreste, som vi ikke er tæt på, men jeg troede, jeg kunne være begrænset i hende og bede hende om ikke at fortælle sin bedste ven ... ja, fortalte han ham. hans søster fortalte mig ... jeg er ud over brudt. Jeg har græd hver dag, jeg får angstanfald og kan sove søvn. han fortalte sin bedste vens kæreste, at jeg kvalt ham, som jeg aldrig var hjemme, jeg arbejdede, løb ærinder alene, så t.v alene til tider og hang ud med vens. han fortalte sin søster, at vi skænkede, og det er derfor… nu ved jeg, at jeg skal gå væk fra hans familie, men jeg fik at vide af hans søster, at han er tilfreds, han savner mig og er trist, men han er ok med at være alene. han vil bare ikke være ansvarlig for en anden lige nu ... han bad sin søster om ikke at fortælle ham, hvis jeg finder nogen, og han 'siger', at han ikke vil være sammen med nogen i et stykke tid ... alt, hvad han har, er hans søster virkelig fungerer hans far virkelig bare og bliver på sit værelse. Jeg vil ikke miste ham, han er den, jeg kender, jeg vil blive gammel med ... han er ikke altid den nemmeste person, kan til tider være modbydelig og lidt bossig, men jeg elsker ham for den han er ... vær venlig at hjælpe ... jeg ved ikke hvad jeg kan gøre ... hvis der er noget. Jeg ville gøre hvad som helst. Vær venlig. -j 22. juli 2016, 21:44 priya jeg har læst din blog. Jeg er 37 år gammel og få år tilbage havde jeg registreret mig på et ægteskabsside. der var en fyr fra Mumbai, der var 40 år gammel, der viste interesse for min profil og tog min kontakt nr. fra ægteskabet og kom ned til goa for at møde mig pludselig efter at have sendt mig en sms. vi talte i en time på et offentligt sted (have), og efter diskussionen var afsluttet, sagde han, at jeg gerne vil chatte med dig. er det ok, hvis jeg ringer til dig? Jeg gav ham tilladelse til at ringe til mig, da jeg også kan lide ham. senere den næste dag sendte han mig en besked om, at det var dejligt at møde dig, og jeg glæder mig til at møde dig igen. Jeg vil gerne tale med dig, så vi kan forstå hinanden bedre. da han ringede til mig, da han nåede mumbai, sagde han, at han kunne lide mig og ville have mig til at skifte til mumbai med mor, men måtte afslutte min rekrutteringsvirksomhed. til dette sagde jeg først og fremmest, jeg kender dig ikke, og jeg kan ikke tage en stor beslutning om at komme ned til Mumbai. næste lørdag igen ringede han til mig og sagde fortæl mig om din virksomhed, så jeg fortalte ham den smerte og de problemer, jeg tog for at komme op i min rekrutteringsvirksomhed efter at have talt med mig kl. 19, han sender mig en besked om, at der ikke er nogen fremtid i os som han vil have mig til at tage et job i Mumbai ved at afvikle min virksomhed. han kom til mig tre gange og pludselig på juledag sender han mig et varmt ønske. Jeg ville gerne vide, hvad der skete pludselig, han prøver at få forbindelse til mig igen. dristigt ringede jeg til ham og sagde, at jeg gerne ville vide, hvad du misforstod om mig. når du kommer ned for at gå, så lad mig vide, at vi kan sidde og snakke. han sagde vedvarende, at han kun kunne komme ned i 16. april, da han ikke fik orlov. pludselig gik min onkel til Mumbai og ringede til ham og ville møde ham, da han holdt sig som en fremmed for mig. han mødte ikke min onkel, men sagde, at han ville tale med mig, når han kom ned til goa, da jeg misforstod ham. han stoppede med at kommunikere med mig som om jeg kæmpede med ham. da måneden var ved at komme forbi, ringede jeg til ham, at han ikke hentede mine opkald og heller ikke til mine beskeder, så jeg ringede til ham fra mine mødre nej, han tog opkaldet og sagde, at jeg er færdig med dig, og jeg kom ned til goa og gik. vil fortælle dig, hvornår jeg kommer ned til goa næste gang. jeg er forvirret med denne fyr, spiller han spil, eller er han seriøs? Jeg kan ikke forstå denne fyr, råd mig, hvordan jeg kan tale med denne fyr og finde ud af, hvad der forstyrrer ham lige nu. hvordan man nærmer sig ham? hvordan kan jeg overbevise ham? 20. juli 2016, 06:45 sarah hvordan kan jeg få min tidligere kæreste tilbage, jeg har brug for andres hjælp, jeg elsker ham virkelig, det var en dum grund, jeg brød op med ham 22. juni 2016, 18:04 jennifer hej jeg hedder jennifer.? Jeg føler, at jeg bare bliver slået tilbage på alle områder af mit liv. Jeg er enlig mor, og jeg har været single i 2 år nu. Jeg vidste at være single var hvad jeg havde brug for for at prøve at opbygge mig selv. sandheden er, at jeg aldrig kan tænke på en tid i mit liv, hvor mit liv føltes virkelig godt, og jeg prøvede at arbejde på det. forsøger at opbygge min selvtillid, styrke og liv, og jeg troede, det fungerede. for nylig fandt jeg ud af min eks, som jeg stadig var venner med, har mødt en anden, og af en eller anden grund knuste det mig. sandheden er, at jeg vidste, at dette til sidst ville ske, og jeg tror ikke, jeg vil have ham tilbage. Jeg er ked af, vred og jaloux over, at det først skete for ham. jeg har lyst til 'hvad er der galt med mig, hvorfor ønsker ikke nogen mig'. jeg ved på en eller anden måde, at jeg har gjort det for mig selv. at være en dørmåtte, være for generøs. Jeg troede ved at gøre andre glade, ville det også gøre mig glad. men det gør det ikke, og jeg ved ikke, hvordan jeg kan finde lykke for mig selv. Jeg har ikke familie at tale med eller bede om råd og kun et par venner. Jeg kan ikke lide at losse på dem, og de vil ikke være i stand til at tilbyde noget godt råd. fordi de har været lige så såret og bange af tidligere forhold som mig, at de ikke ved mere end jeg. Jeg har lyst til, at jeg har brug for hjælp og råd til at sætte mig på den rigtige vej for at komme ud af denne onde cirkel. at jeg ikke ved, hvordan man kommer ud fra. Jeg har ingen at henvende mig til, og jeg er så fortabt, forvirret og ensom. hjælp mig, jeg er så træt af at leve på denne måde. 4. maj 2016, 06:49 Sherri fremragende artikel! 29. april 2016, 12:02 maria sanchez så jeg har været sammen med en onlinekæreste i 1 måned og i aftes sluttede vi, fordi jeg brugte et falsk billede nu ja gætte Jeg katfiskede ham. men ikke min pointe okay, så han fortalte mig, at jeg ikke skulle lyve og sådan noget, men jeg kunne ikke have det? at fortælle ham, at jeg var falsk i går aftes, jeg gjorde det, fordi jeg var skyldig for ikke at sige noget i starten, så lige nu idk, hvad jeg skal gøre, kan du hjælpe mig, jeg vil ikke være deppresed eller uden min tidligere kæreste jeg vil have ham hack virkelig virkelig virkelig virkelig rigtig dårlig han betyder alt for mig, og jeg mistede alt i går aftes og siden i går alex har min tidligere kæreste ikke kontaktet mig på nogen måde ajd im ked af at jeg l7ed til alex hvis du kan hjælpe plz gøre jeg vil bare have min eks tilbage !!!! 30. marts 2016, 09:48 jean så jeg har været sammen med denne fyr i næsten 3 år, vi boede sammen i et år og halvt har jeg børn til en tidligere forhold han ikke har ingen vi har haft det ret hårdt sidste år vi blev gravid og sadley mistede vores baby og måtte håndtere en begravelse og ting, så følelser har været overstået for os begge siden da har vi argumenteret for en meget faldt meget ud, han flyttede endda meget ud, men vi ender altid sammen igen i løbet af nogle få måneder, tingene er blevet hurtigere værre, hans humørsvingninger ect, han har endelig indrømmet, at han har brug for hjælp efter at have forsøgt at dræbe sig selv, han er meget deprimeret over medicin og begynder at få den hjælp, han har brug for alt, selvom jeg er den eneste person, der ser ud til at have støttet ham, fortsætter han med at skubbe mig væk, vi har lige fundet ud af, at jeg er gravid igen, så det er en bekymring i øjeblikket, men han er rejst og forlod mig igen og sagde, at han ikke kan gøre det mere, at denne gang er det forbi for godt jeg nej han elsker mig og jeg nej han ønsker ikke mere end for os at få denne baby, har han sagt, at han vil være der dag eller nat for babyen, men hvad angår os, er det gjort med mine følelser, er overstået og ikke nej hvad man skal gøre, han har sagt det tidligere, når han er væk, så jeg er usikker på, om det virkelig er, hvad han vil eller vejr, er det depressionen, enhver rådgivning ville blive meget værdsat, da jeg er ved min afslutning 9. februar 2016, 05:14 susan mit spørgsmål er, at mit forhold sluttede for ca. 5 måneder siden, jeg fandt ud af, at han sms'ede en pige, han arbejdede med, og at de havde sendt sms'er frem og tilbage i cirka en måned, tror jeg. Jeg så en tekst, der sagde godmorgen baby, hvordan var din nat. min x og jeg boede sammen i 3 år, men vi havde været sammen i 10 plus år. han har tidligere snydt på mig flere gange, end jeg kan tælle, men jeg vidste om 3 andre kvinder i de sidste 15 år sammen. Jeg er 12 år ældre end han. de ord, han sagde til mig, da alt dette kom på spidsen en nat, da han afslørede, at han elsker mig, men han elskede mig ikke som jeg elskede ham, og at han aldrig tænkte på mig at gifte mig, men at jeg var og ville alligevel ikke være andet end hans veninde. men at han elsker mig, og at han var bekymret for min alder, selv da han vidste, at jeg var 12 år ældre end han var, og han har problemer med det. at han ikke kunne acceptere min familie, jeg har to døtre, og at den måde, han så på, var at han skulle være sammen med min datter i stedet for mig. vi har haft lange samtaler og tekster i løbet af den sidste måned eller deromkring, han siger, at han ved, at han mistede det bedste, han nogensinde havde haft, da jeg gik ud, og at han er ked af det, så meget ked af at skade mig, og at han ville gøre hvad der nogensinde han kunne gøre for at få mig tilbage. men han ser stadig de andre kvinder, og det er noget, han skal igennem. og han ved, om vi kom sammen igen, at han ville gifte sig med mig og acceptere min familie som hans. (han har aldrig været gift og har heller ikke nogen børn.) men han ved, at han rodede det hele, og at han vil have mig til at blive i kontakt og han, at han ved, at han mistede det bedste, der skete med ham, og det var mig. så jeg tror, ​​han siger, at det er alle de ting, han synes, jeg skal høre. bliver jeg optaget af ord, siger de, at handlinger taler højere end ord, og i min bog er det sandt. hjælpe mig med at forstå 3. februar 2016, 14:18 tasha min kæreste har handlet fjernt de sidste par uger. han plejede at være så forelsket i mig og fik mig til at føle mig så elsket. men for nylig har det været lidt anderledes. vi begge har karrierer, der holder os adskilt i lange perioder. Jeg vidste aldrig rigtig, hvad folk mente, da de sagde 'de vidste bare', indtil jeg følte det for mig selv. Jeg er sikker på, at dette er den mand, jeg vil tilbringe resten af ​​mit liv uden spørgsmål. til jul havde han købt en løftering til mig, og i går dumpede han mig .. han sagde 'jeg tror, ​​vi ville være bedre som gode venner.' siden han har været fjern, var jeg over kærlig i håb om, at hans opførsel ville ændre sig, og han ville vende tilbage til, hvordan han var med mig. Jeg er bange for fortiden, mens jeg måske er stødt på som trængende, eller jeg har været for meget, og måske er det, der skubbede ham til dette punkt? Jeg elsker denne mand så utroligt meget, og jeg ved, at hans kærlighed til mig ikke bare kan forsvinde sådan. Jeg er bare ekstremt forvirret over, hvorfor dette sker, og jeg vil gøre alt, hvad jeg kan, for at få ham tilbage. hjælp venligst! 27. januar 2016, 09:17 dr akhereoboh denne drøm er årsagen til, at du endnu ikke er over ham og ikke kommer til at være snart. medmindre du giver slip på det, vil du ikke være i stand til virkelig at sørge og komme videre. men jeg ved, det er svært, da alle tegn og alle omkring dig siger, at det vil ske. 6 måneder er lang tid. har du spurgt dig selv, hvor længe er du villig til at vente på ham? 28. december 2015, 02:58 amy min kæreste brød sammen med mig for 2 uger siden efter et år. sagde, at han havde problemer, han havde brug for at arbejde med og fokusere på sine børn og arbejde. en uge efter ikke at have sendt sms, spurgte han endelig, om vi kunne tale. han fortalte mig, at han elskede mig og hadede, at han skadede mig. Jeg fortalte ham, at jeg troede, at vores forhold var det værd og ville give ham tid. siden da har han været ude af byen for at arbejde og har fået tekst og ansigt tidsbestemt mig non stop. han ringede faktisk til mig i går aftes for at spørge, om jeg havde talt med nogen fyre, siden han brød op med mig. Jeg vil have ham tilbage, hvad gør jeg 10. december 2015, 13:06 emily vi kan ikke lide at kalde hinanden 'ex', så min ven og Jeg var sammen, men vi brød op for et år siden på grund af et stressende problem. vi har været venner og stadig ønsket at være sammen. men nu begynder han at være sammen med en anden, der ligner ham mere. Jeg lavede nogle dumme ting, og det føltes som om jeg fik denne store smæk i ansigtet - han havde altid ret. han fortalte mig altid ting, der koblede os fra, det var ting, jeg havde brug for at arbejde på. han indrømmede for mig, at han var bange for at være sammen med mig, endsige blive venner. Jeg har fortalt ham, at jeg følte dette slag og alt, og at jeg vil ændre mig, fordi jeg har gjort mig utilfreds. men jeg er også meget fast besluttet på at genoprette vores forhold som et par og ikke kun som venner. Jeg er bange for, hvad der vil ske, men jeg ved, at jeg skal bevæge mig fremad og være bedre for mig selv. Jeg indså, at jeg har ladet mine følelser kontrollere mig, og at det har ødelagt mig selv og mine relationer til andre mennesker. han er en, jeg ser ofte (fyi, ikke en medarbejder), og vi sender stadig en sms. Jeg er stadig bange. han elskede mig en gang, han fik endda mig en slags løftering ... hvis han ser mig ændre sig til det bedre, har jeg stadig en chance? frygten kommer med det faktum, at der er en anden kvinde, der kan stjæle hans hjerte. Alligevel er det sjove, hun elsker og elsker mig ud over alt. Jeg er ikke sikker på, om hun er romantisk interesseret i ham, men jeg vil bestemt ikke kalde det usandsynligt. hun kender også min historie med ham. det er hårdt, men jeg vil gerne være den kvinde, han altid troede, jeg kunne være, hvilket er en fantastisk person. Jeg ved ikke rigtig, hvad jeg spørger nu, jeg tror bare jeg har brug for lidt støtte og for at vide, at jeg gør det rigtige, og at jeg bliver okay ... jeg kan ikke bare glemme, hvor meget jeg vil have ham tilbage ved min side. 14. november 2015, 23:13 madalin min ven og jeg havde et godt forhold, men vi så aldrig hinanden, og vi havde et par slagsmål. så mødes jeg nogen ny, som jeg troede, jeg kunne lide mere, men jeg tog fejl, så jeg brød op med min kæreste for den anden fyr. vi har ikke engang været sammen i en uge, men jeg vil have ham tilbage, tror du, han ville endda tage mig tilbage. 14. november 2015, 1:52 judy Jeg har været en trofast fan over 3 år nu, og jeg må indrømme, at dit team har været en kilde til inspiration og hjælp til mig. sabrina har været fantastisk. tak skal du have. min sag er enkel. Jeg har altid ønsket at gifte mig med en hvid fyr lige fra min barndom, selvom jeg er en sort dame. da jeg blev ældre efter gymnasiet? Jeg arbejdede i et firma, hvor de har mange hvide. men jeg fik ikke kontakt med en, fordi jeg var nødt til at gå på college. Jeg er i mit sidste år. Jeg vil blive eksamen næste år og håber at få stipendium til at studere i udlandet. jeg er 23 år gammel. hvis nogen kan tilslutte mig nogle hvide venner, ville jeg være taknemmelig. eller bare bare anbefale mig til nogen. mange tak. 11. november 2015, 16:28 kim min tidligere kæreste kontaktede mig efter 18 år. vi var sammen i 3 år, og de sidste 7 måneder blev rigtig dårlige på grund af sin tidligere kone, og så blev hans familie involveret, og han blev virkelig deprimeret. Jeg var nødt til at rejse, så vi ikke dræbte hinanden. han kontaktede mig 9/18 for at se, hvordan jeg havde det, og først talte vi bare, så alle disse følelser, jeg havde begravet dybt inde inde, kom ud, og jeg fortalte ham nøjagtigt, hvordan jeg havde det. vi talte, og pludselig havde han en fest med 100 mennesker over, og han måtte gå. han ville gå fra at snakke og grine til at holde fester, eller han skulle til Italien til hvor rig han er blevet, siden hans far gik forbi. det var så forvirrende, fordi jeg troede, jeg gjorde det rigtige ved at forlade ham, men nu fortryder jeg det. Jeg elsker ham stadig. Jeg fortalte ham, at jeg er ligeglad med hans penge. han ville kun tale med mig via facebook. han anklagede mig vedvarende for snyd, så jeg fandt ud af, at det var ham, der snydede, så han un-venede mig. efter et par dage sendte jeg ham en venneanmodning, og han accepterede inden for 30 sekunder. efter et par dage begyndte vi at tale igen. han vidste, at jeg gik i kontakt med en, jeg havde været sammen med i 6 år. han ville se et billede af ham og efter ham bugte jeg for evigt sendte jeg et. inden for 10 minutter havde han et band hos sig med al denne mad og 100 mennesker, og de skulle feste hele natten. han sagde, at han ville komme på besøg, fordi vi bor i forskellige stater nu. han ville have et sexet billede af mig, så blev han uvenlig med mig, og da jeg spurgte, hvorfor sagde han ikke interesseret, så jeg fortalte ham, hvad jeg end var den bedste ting, der har eller nogensinde vil ske med ham. så blokerede han mig. Jeg er forvirret over, hvorfor han ville have et billede af min tidligere kæreste, og jeg er gået i vægt, og jeg skjuler det ikke på facebook. han husker ting, der skete, da vi første gang mødtes, og ting, jeg havde fortalt ham om. Jeg har elsket denne mand, siden jeg først fik øje på ham, og jeg lavede en fejl ved at forlade. Jeg har aldrig giftet mig, men han har to gange. Jeg elsker ham af hele mit hjerte, men jeg er så forvirret over hans handlinger. Jeg forstår bare ikke. der er gået en måned siden han blokerede mig. Jeg skrev til ham et kuld, der undskyldte mine ord, fordi jeg fortalte ham, at hans tidligere kone ligner en fyr, og hun gør det, men jeg havde ikke ret til at sige det. Jeg taler med hans ældste datter, men jeg bringer hende ikke ind i dette. Jeg vil bare forstå, hvorfor han kontaktede mig igen, og hvorfor han stadig vil skade mig. Jeg har undskyldt for at have rejst og såret ham. jeg er bare forvirret. Jeg vil bare forstå, hvorfor han kom tilbage. 10. november 2015, 10:28 am gifter mig jeg har virkelig brug for nogle råd, min eks og jeg har kendt hinanden siden barndommen. en dag sidste år begyndte han at flirte online med mig, og så begyndte vi at sms'e og virkelig slog det ud. he lived out of state and i wasn’t ready for long distance, but he still kept trying for me. so after months of flirting and falling more and more i decided we can give long distance a try since he comes back to our home town often and i can go visit him. after a few months of that things were good and he actually as able to move back home and we were so perfect for each other. saw each other all the time and fell more in love, spent time with both our families all the time and every one was happy. then my life got stressful with work and studying for med school applications. and he got a new job that was very demanding and took a lot of his time. i noticed things became distant when he didnt have time to see me or even just relax with me, he always had work first and his family is also very demanding and took a lot of his time as well. i was planning on talking to him about the issues but he’s not one to be up front and talk things out, he rather tell me “its okay ” so i thought there were no issues, when in reality i pushed him to far and kept asking to see him or plan things or complain when he didnt even have energy to talk after work. we had date night once a week and i would see him maybe once or twice on weekends and that was okay with me, but i still made him feel bad about it. one day he had so much work he asked for me to leave him alone for a weekend and that upset me and i ended up calling him one to many times, and he exploded and told me he can’t do this any more that he needed his space and to break up, he said he wanted to figure himself out and get his life in order and that he felt bad that he didnt have the time a girl friend like me deserves and that he didnt want to hurt me anymore. i was devastated, this messed up my studying and my life for weeks. we didnt communicate for a week then i ran into him at an event, we talked some but knew it wasn’t the right time or location for a chat like this. then we talked a few days later but everyone was still heated, he said he didnt have the answers i needed and he doesn’t know what the future holds and that he’s sorry he had to do this to me and hopes we can be friends later that we just need space now. yet he says he cares about me and still has feelings for me. im so confused, and probably asked to soon if he can see himself with me again, since he did the same exact thing to his last girlfriend for the same reasons and took her back. he tells me he doesn’t know what our future will be more then friends or not and doesn’t want to give me false hope…. if he worked on his own issues and i worked on mine could we get back together in a few months? he keeps saying i did nothing wrong and its all him and his own issues, but i know i was needy and acted ways i’m not proud of. i was just so scared to lose him i ended up pushing him away. i just want to know how to get him back or make him realize if we just talk about our issues instead of running from them maybe things would be smoother when were both on the same page. i really love him and deep down know he still cares for me and loves me. im just so scared to say the wrong things now and push him away even more. he is having a major surgery soon and i care so much, but don’t want to make him think i’m needy. could he really have his own personal issues? or did he just use that excuse to let me down easy? he tells me there is no one else but i don’t want him to move on without me during this space period if we don’t talk about things. please help i’m a lost soul, this is my first heart break and after over a year of talking and almost 9 months dating i just can’t see why he would leave me so suddenly with out answering any questions. is there any way to get him back? i try to contatct him as little as i can so he has space but its hard and we are still friends on social media even though he deleted all signs of our relationship together. i just worry so much that i lost my best friend and will never have him back in my life as even a friends. when we do talk i ramble and talk in circles and i know thats pushing him away more so i’m trying to stop. i just over think everything and always questioned everything and i guess it showed i’m insecure when i really have bad anxiety over a lot of things. he was always so supportive and calming and then he just left me over one fight, our first fight….i just want to talk about all i have thought about since he left me and how i hope to fix things so we can grow together. what should i do!? sorry for the long post i’m just a very confused heart broken girl who lost the love of my life, at 25! thanks for the help november 9, 2015, 12:01 pm vicki this is great advice. this is why i come back to this site to try to rid myself of the negative thoughts–your points are spot on. november 8, 2015, 11:21 am alice hi eric my bf split up with me last week after 2.5 years living together. we were committed to each other and always were making plans for the future. this article really resonated with me as i can see where things went wrong perhaps (i have been confused all week) i feel i pushed him away by trying to get it to go in a certain way (ie pressuring him about children – but then feeling like we came to agreement) i am 36 and had come out of a toxic marriage when we met. i then got made redundant he had two lots of sugery on his hand and then i had a brain haemorrhage! all within 3 months! we then spent 3 months recovering together with each other everyday meaning that sex was off the table as we were both too ill and the fun disappeared. i felt it was just about getting back to normal and starting doing what we used to. he then started acting very distant and said he didn’t know what was wrong and that he didn’t want to break up. i then started feeling incredibly vulnerable and probably a bit needy as i felt everything in my life was slipping through my fingers. and then he ended it. i’m in shock i feel that a combination of stress and situation has pushed him away from me and i’ve lost him forever. i felt we were so solid and committed and now he says there’s something missing and we can never go back. er der noget håb? november 8, 2015, 7:51 am sonali reang i cheat and lie my bf and now iam really rigret and day bay day iam going to change my habit i don like my habit that’s why now my bf leave me but now i really want him back plzz help me and tell me he will come back again november 1, 2015, 3:55 pm beth last week my boyfriend told me that he needed time to “think about us” because he wasn’t sure if my family would accept him, this was 2 days after he repeatedly told me he loved me and that he would make an effort to be a better boyfriend. initially when he told me this i said my piece and explained to him that he was hurting me by shutting me out, but the following days i didn’t contact him and he didn’t contact me. on the 5th day i decided that i didn’t want to be in a relationship with a man who wasn’t sure about being with me. so i sent him a text stating i wanted to pick up my belongings and that i would come by after work the following day to retrieve them. the next day i contacted him to make sure he was home, he wanted me to stop by later than i planned, but i told him i wanted to get my things as soon as possible and be done. my exact words, he agreed to meet me and said he would be there when i arrived. i walked in his place grabbed my things didn’t say a word accept thank you when he handed me my shades and walked out without even looking at him. i deleted his number and unfriended him on facebook before i drove out the parking lot. i showed zero emotion but they truth is i’m really hurt because i loved him. i would be open to getting back together with him. i have been on a date since we broke up and another man is presently pursuing me(he has stated he wants a relationship) and i am rejecting him because i still have feelings for my ex. did my actions drive him away for good, ( he knows i unfriended him because he blocked me) i don’t know if the no contact rule will work with him because he uses the silent treatment himself. i will never initiate contact with him because my pride simply won’t allow it. however, is there anyway to know he wants me back? october 14, 2015, 12:53 pm ana reyes my ex broke up with me 8 months ago. the reason he broke up with me was because he said i was immature and i didn’t take him seriously. so when he broke up with me we didn’t talk until and like 4 days later i found out he was dating his ex again. so we completely stop talking to each other until one day my parents and i went to his house (my parents and his parents get along very well). he was acting so nice to my parents but he didn’t say a word until i got a message from him and he was apologizing about everything he did and of course i forgave him. so that day we were talking again and when we were talking out of no where he hugged me and that made me get a lot of flash backs of us together. after the hug he kissed me so we kissed and then i asked him what we were and he said whatever i wanted and i said we can try this again if you want. after i left his house we were still talking and i decided to ask him about his ex. he told him he still had feelings for her and i asked why he was with me and he told me because i reminded him of when he and the girl started dating supposedly i was being like her. i got really mad and we broke again. but we still talked cause we ended up being friends. one time when we were talking he told me that he regrets breaking up with me. but the next day he didn’t talk to me again. we lasted for a very long time without talking but i noticed that every time he and the girl broke up he will talk to me. so i got tired of that and didn’t talk to him no more. i decided i needed to move on but it took me along time since i still have really strong feelings for and even when i got a boyfriend i still had feelings for him. barely this passed saturday i saw him again. it was so awkward my mom noticed that he was really nervous when he saw me and that he was looking at me. i wanted to cry so bad because i remembered all our dates and every single time we said i love you’s. and i thought i was over him but i’m still not i still love him with all my heart. what can i do to get back with my ex??? october 13, 2015, 9:48 pm amaretto i like this article. it was very insightful, and really aimed to help the obsessive psyche of women fixated on what they can’t have, relationships that they want to mend, trying to get married…etc. while i agree that being happy and getting over the guy truly can attract him back, the truth is most of the time it doesn’t. and well, this tactic is rather hypocritical ‘cuz if a women has truly moved on, what will make her want the guy back if he comes back? it’s a tricky maneuver to do. it’s basically saying get over him, no strings attached, but ya, look over your shoulder in case he does. it’s not a true method of getting him back, in my opinion. but sometimes this method is the best outcome for both parties. i myself have recently stopped being friends with an ex. i was no longer single, and had moved on, but held onto the hope he would want me miraculously again one day. that day may or may not happen, but life must go on. i cut off friendship with him despite his protests. i told him our significant others would be jealous and left it at that. a year has passed now and i have not heard from my ex. and yes, he’s moved on, but it still hurts, because i used to really want him. i bumped into him last week and he told me he was seriously living with a new gf now. so ya, he’s definitely moved on. and i told him i was happy for him, but deep inside, i’m not. if you want a a guy back, it’s always going to be messy emotionally. all i do now is just look positively on life and realize i have to appreciate my current boyfriend, which i do. but ya, the pain doesn’t really go away when i think of my ex. october 8, 2015, 2:57 pm kristin eric i need help… the love of my life and i broke up like a week ago…. after agreeing to get our relationship right this time. and i believe it happened because we still had such tension that we never took care of… and i suggested that we start over… like get back together and start over and that that would be the healthiest idea…. and he is so convinced that it’ll never work out cause we will always end up fighting and i’m convinced that that’s not the case. i believe this is worth fighting for. we have been through so much in over the year we were together. and instead of giving him space i kept pushing and i guess in order for me to finally give him space, after i asked him to just be friends for now until we decided to try again… he said he didn’t want to be in my life. my mom said that he only said that so i would finally give him space. she said i haven’t lost him and that he knows i’m always here (cause he said that was the reason we got back together before). i just don’t know what to do. i’ve been praying for a miracle to get him back.. but everyone keeps saying just give him space. i’m scared and all i want to do is talk to and see him. Hjælp. september 8, 2015, 4:11 pm priya i have been dating a guy for the past 6 months, last week i did throw a surprise birthday party for him. everything was going good when all a sudden he started ignoring me for the past 3 days. i got the guts to go at his place today in order to talk to him. he said that he wants us to be best friends and we will still meet and be the same was we were the only difference is we are no longer dating. i know there was nothing serious between us but i’ve started loving him and he made a promise to me that he will not tell me to date someone till he doesn’t find someone. somewhere somehow i still have a hope to be back with him. i don’t know how to win over him. anyone can help me. thanks priya from montreal canada august 30, 2015, 3:02 pm diksha himalyan i just to ask i need my boy friend back he is very nice actully he loves me a lot but i dont know why he left me alone i want him back at any cost cause my life means nothing without him he is my best friend i dont have any friend i had very bad past but he expect me as i am loves me like a baby care like a parent hold me like god he is my everything actully were living near a place but now am far from that place so when i start living in far place i did not get that much to talk that much so our missunderstanding are becoming more and more day by day one he said i m furstred with u and dont want to talk to u i said ok really l will not call you then at night i was very much anger and use abuse word to him that was why he is not talking to me please help me i am stupid mad u can any thing but i want him back i love him very much i really need him please help please august 21, 2015, 3:54 pm yesha hi my boyfriend broke up with me in june and we got back together in july. one day we went out for lunch and for some reason i got mad at him and said some mean things. and he broke up with me again. he said he wants his space and he is in frustration because he is not getting his degree. so we decided to take a break for 6 months. i help him with the paper things for his college so we at least see each other once a week. i know he loves me but i really don’t need a break. please advice me how do i get him back? i feel like we are soulmates and just can’t think of being with other man. we are really strong emotionally and physically attracte but something went wrong in our relationship that we can’t figure it out. please advise me how to get him back august 20, 2015, 9:21 pm annie hi eric, all of this makes sense, but for me the question of the day is: how does being happy and “on the market” help if he’s not in the right place to be in a relationship because he’s not “winning” at life? my situation with my ex fits this profile perfectly. he left me over four years ago because of some really emotionally tough stuff that he was facing. he’s made a lot of progress since then, but he’s moving at an excruciatingly slow pace. i understand; i really do. but, it’s hard. and no amount of me being happy and attractive is going to speed up his progress. in the meantime, because he is making progress, i can’t stop hoping that he’ll call me and i can’t bring myself to date anyone else. and as long as i’m still hoping that he’ll call, my pain never ends. august 16, 2015, 12:14 am eric charles if you’re on the market, that means that he could lose you to another guy if another guy steps up… so one of two things will happen… he will either get his act together and clearly, unambiguously and boldly do what he needs to in order to get on the same page with you in terms of the relationship you want… or he won’t and you’ll know that it was never going to happen. you’d be shocked at how quickly a guy gets his act together when there’s a woman he wants that he thinks he’ll lose if he doesn’t get his sh*t together. a lot of women don’t see this, though, because instead of staying single until they’re clearly, totally and unambiguously in a full-on defined relationship with a guy, they accept his excuses and wait around thinking that somehow he’ll just all of a sudden want a relationship with them (even though he knows the woman isn’t going to leave him) august 16, 2015, 12:59 am annie thanks for your . i get what you’re saying. i’m just not sure what to do with it. yes, i’m in pain, but i’ve been out and about living my life. as far as he can tell, i’m very much “on the market” and have been for about three years. what kills me is that he seems to be in love with me from a distance. i don’t want to go into details here, but, yeah, it’s pretty obvious. but, he’s been dealing with some pretty intense emotional trauma (the woman he dated before me abused him) and if he could speed up his recovery, then i’m sure he would, but abuse recovery just doesn’t work that way (i know; i’ve been abused too). i agree that minor sh*t can be quickly dealt with when necessary, but major sh*t takes time. august 16, 2015, 5:05 pm jade great advice eric! this article is going to help me now and in the future! right now, i’m going through the exact same thing. my ex broke up with me after he lost his father. we were together 3 years and lived together for just over 2 years. i love the idea of your relationship is what it is right now regardless of a title because that’s exactly how it is for us right now and i see how my being happy and poaitive now has made a huge change in how we interact with one another. my plan is to go on the market and really be open to what life has to bring my way, even if it’s not my ex in the future. so my question is this. he is going to be living 3 hours from me and i won’t be in contact with with anyone that he talks to and i have been advised of doing the no contact rule. i’m not sure of how i feel about the no contact rule because regardless of our relationship status, i care very deeply about him and i have for the 15 years i have known him and vice versa. i can’t imagine not being there for him during such a hard time in his life. we are both the type of people who are not into mind games and are honest no matter what and act honestly. anyways, if no contact is something you also advise,then it’s worth a shot. but with him and me, we are what we are no matter the status or title. ok now for my question, if i am not talking to him, how is he going to find out im on the market? do i tell him myself because there is no other way he would know. i highly doubt if i am casually dating someone, their picture is going to end up on my facebook lol. hvad synes du? april 17, 2016, 7:44 am not sure really hey eric charles, not sure about this stiring of jealousy so to speak. i’ve tried to use a little bit of jealosy for my guy to realise i want him to call me as we haven’t spoken for days and also another time to make us ‘official couple’ and it backfired. as these events were near each other he exploded in once about both accusing me of being unloyal. though my fault was that i simply sent him a screenshot of a guy (whom i talked to while we were on a break with him) who asked me out and i answered i’ve got back with my boyfriend. i said to my guy i was rejecting others while i didn’t even received responce from him. he got even more quiet and few days later after finally asking him was he angry about something he pushed me away saying he didn’t think it would work with me as i was chatting to others. he’s been hurt by an ex gf and is pretty much on the lookout for clues about unloyalty. maybe for guys who are not that jealous yeah but i wouldn’t use this method any more! september 9, 2016, 8:04 am ashleyh the weird part was when i had one guy leave me as soon as i had another he got jealous. he was so pissed he set his carpet on fire. i usally do the break ups but when he broke up i went with another guy i wasn’t realy all that interested in. i basiclly went with him because i was bored. needless to say it was interesting when his brother told me the guy was so pissed he set the carpet on fire, i told him the truth and we got back together. i’m not sure how long it lasted but he and i stayed friends after i broke up this time. the last i heard he had issues with his life. oh well boys will be boys i wonder what eric thinks of that. august 9, 2015, 10:51 am kiwi thanks for your article, this makes so much sense. i just went through bad time where after a three months break requested by my boyfriend, he decided he was not sure he wanted to resume our relationship. i cut all contact. i needed to re-organize my life, rethink my situation and create a back-up plan. since, i am trying to organize to get my stuff out of his place as we were staying together. he does not answer my messages, i don’t know what to do. i have to dride 14 hours to get to his place so i can’t just knock on the door. first of all, i don’t understand what happened as i really thought we were sole mates. then, why is he acting so distant and non-cooperative. it hurts. i try to be realistic and independent but my heart is broken in so many small pieces. do you have any advise? why would a man not want to get all this over and move on?? august 6, 2015, 6:50 pm eric charles nobody is forcing you to be in a relationship… so it isn’t true that the woman “always has to adjust herself”. you don’t *have* to do anything. but if you want something… and you’re not getting it right now… then the question becomes, “what can i do in order to get what i want?” and that’s what i speak to — i tell you what would be most effective in getting what you want. you’re the one who wants it and the only person you can control is you, so why wouldn’t i talk about things you can do if you want to get what you want? i see this kind of comment a lot… but… what alternative could you possible expect than for me to tell someone what they could do if they’re telling me they want something and they’re not getting it? remember: nobody is forcing you to be in a relationship. but if you want a relationship, doesn’t it just make sense to do what’s effective instead of whine about it and act like you’re some victim? there are no victims in relationships… you choose to be in a relationship and you can just as easily choose not to be. don’t make this into some sort of “this is not fair” or “man vs. woman” thing… it’s not. the only question here is, “do you want to be effective or not?” held og lykke. august 2, 2015, 4:11 pm hailey i just wanted to acknowledge that this piece of writing was very insightful and inspiring. sort of the exact words i needed to hear/read in order to put my thoughts into perspective. a good kick in the ass, really. thank you for writing this! july 21, 2015, 1:07 pm eric charles thank you… i hope that reading it helps guide you to getting what you really want… and all that good stuff. held og lykke. august 2, 2015, 4:14 pm msm hi, i need some advice my boyfriend broke me up i love him and i want him back.. buy i dont know how..because he broke up with during our last big fight and he say that he never want tp back with me anymore and he cut our skype and more lines.but now sometimes i do email him and asking how he is.. then he ing me like same cold still what can i do pls help me how to het his feelings back to me september 13, 2015, 5:57 pm ashley mary i need my ex lover back urgently july 7, 2015, 5:10 am kivi i was having the relationship problems for around one month…..fault was mine i was so indulged in my bfs lyf…so that he felt so bounded…..i was feeling no important to him…i didnt supported him for his work which he was doiung for me….i blamed him for physicallity and asked for break up many times and put ol the gifts in garbage in front of him….but after that i realized that i was so wron g…i know he loves me..and he know that i love him truly too…i tried alot to make him conveinced that i m so sorry feel guilty and changed….some how i managed to do so…we went in relationshp again but just for 10 days….after that he suddenly messaged he can never get comfortable again he cant forget what i have done…his will power is just so strong..that if he says its no……is there an chance or way to get him back….coz i realy love him alot july 2, 2015, 7:16 am sunny hey! i dont have enough money to buy it,can u please tell me about it and how to work it? june 16, 2015, 8:17 am vanessa lopez yes, this is true, when a relation broken up then she thru the cause to he and he thru the cause to she. actually they don’t know whats the main reason for broken up. after read the article somebody get back their ex and somebody actually knows how to maintain a perfect relationship. june 14, 2015, 7:44 am cassie ok this is really long but will someone please help me, it all spiraled out of control and it’s killing me. i’m going to refer to my now ex, the one i want back as j. j and i were together for a little over 4 years and for about the last year of the relationship things got really rough. we went off to separate colleges but didn’t think it would be a problem since we had went to different high schools and lived about an hour from each other anyway. the summer before we moved to college j started acting different, like a real ass, and the week before i moved in to school he broke up with me. i convinced him to still help me move in so i didn’t have to explain to my parents. that night, after i moved in, he begged me to come back home so we could talk so i did. we ended up crying and saying how much we didn’t want to lose each other and got back together. about a week after i had been in school i got this gut feeling and so i checked his social media messages (we had each other’s passwords, it was fair game). sure enough my gut was right. there were messages from many girls from his college, asking for his number, him inviting them over, back massages, all the typical. one girl (we’ll call her c) he seemed really interested in. but i didn’t overreact i just simply asked him if he’d been talking to any girls, inviting them up, any of that. his response was no. i asked him three times. he said no every time. so i sent him the screenshots, apologized for getting on his stuff, and said you lied to me we are done. that was late august 2013. he started begging pleading apologizing and i would see him some but then a guy from my school, that i was really attracted to, came into the picture. i started hanging out with him a lot, we kissed, nothing more (we’ll call him v). i really liked him but he started talking bad about j and bashing my lifestyle, kinda made me mad. i had told j i had kissed him and really liked him. then j’s grandpa got really sick. i knew i had to be there for him. finally after going round n round we got back together at the beginning of november 2013. i didn’t fall in love with him again until the end of january. v was still persistent and we talked a lot. however, j won me back and i fell all over again. school started back late january and things started going down hill again. me and v started talking some again and j started being a butt. then it happened. early february i found out i was pregnant…me and j were devastated, terrified. it’s all we ever wanted but we knew we couldn’t do it. we made the executive decision to abort it. two days before i was to terminate my pregnancy i got a call from j asking if i could come get him, he had “locked his keys in his truck”. i said i’d meet him half way but i was too sick (from the pregnancy) and very tired and couldn’t make that drive. sagde han ja. so i went to get him and took him home. two days later i made the most regretful decision of my life (i hate myself for it) to terminate my pregnancy. at first things were hard. but we got better, him and i. then on spring break, i was playing games on his phone and checked his messages. he had a texts from c, the girl he was interested at the begging of the year. the text read: from him: where’s my pants? lol from her: i don’t know haha. i was livid. thinking the obvious, obviously. then i put two and two together. i checked the date on the messages and sure enough they were from the night his keys supposedly got locked in his truck. the truth was they had actually been thrown away with his pants with the girl he was interested in. i didn’t break up with him though because of everything that had happened and his grandpa was still really sick. we got better, celebrated a great birthday together (only a day apart), and things were looking up. i was in love with him. he was in love with me. we grew close again. then v started wiggling his way back in. we texted casually, quite often though. j got mad. i wasn’t meaning to hurt him but idk, i guess my thought was look how much you’ve hurt me i can at least talk to him, immature i know. in early june we lost j’s grandpa. it was devastating. he was so broken, it hurt to see him hurt. it brought us close again. we had a wonderful family vacation at the lake, gosh i loved him. then when school started back things got bad again. we fought a lot. we broke up again, i started hanging out with v, kissed, nothing more. i kinda stopped trusting j. we got back together, the last date we went on was mid october 2015. we fought at first but ending up having a wonderful time and that’s when i decided i was going to move close to him and be with him and we were going to get right. not too long after that though, he broke up with me. it made me mad. he kinda begged for me back, we fought, said a lot of mean things to each other, it got really really bad. he told me he wanted me. finally i softened up and three days after that i agree. however he tells me it’s too late. 3 days! so i begged, pleaded, cried, apologized, stalked, hacked. name everything not to do to get your ex back and i did it. he claimed his new girl was better than me and he wasn’t happy and didn’t love me and didn’t care. i heard it all. he was so mean. (this started january 2015). i still begged, cried, called. he started blocking me. (end of feb) after the second time he blocked me i got mad and left him alone..for 10 days. during that time he called and facetimed but never text. i finally answered him late one night and he was crying. saying how much he love loved me, how sorry he was, asking if i changed, all that. he then text me that night and said “you’re the only one i’ve been with. i’m tired of f***ing it up with us. i want to f*** it up with everyone else then hope you will love me again one day.” so i begged and pleaded some more. by the time spring break came around i had given up. then of course he contacted me again. trying to apologize. he got mad because i thought i didn’t tell him happy birthday but i did, he just didn’t get it. 2 weeks later he tried to contact me asking if i was going to a certain concert and who i was going with. he even logged on to my instagram, made it public, and added himself back then messaged me so i would talk to him, deleted the conversation when we finished. this was mid april and i was thoroughly confused because he’s told me to move on, he’s moved on, he loves her, he doesn’t hurt anymore, to leave him alone. so i was trying to do that. he contacted me again on facebook at the end of april 2015 trying to convince me we were not meant to be together, of course i didn’t agree, we messages back and forth some then he stopped talking. i just left it alone. that was a tuesday, the following saturday i got a friend request from him on facebook and realized that after our conversation he had deleted me as a friend. every time we had a conversation on social media and he didn’t agree with what i had to say he deleted me so at this point i had changed my number and blocked him on everything but facebook. but after i realized he deleted me i blocked him on there too. ok, so now it’s about a month since that happened. his girlfriend is all about him. i went to his little cousin’s baseball game this past monday and his family was there but he was not. his aunt cried as did i when i had to leave. that night i text his mom just to see how school and everything went for him. then he text my mom asking her to have me text him. i didn’t. then he tried to turn it around that it was my fault. he said he tried to talk to me and would talk every time i wanted to but now i had him blocked on everything. saying how he had been hurt too and all of that jazz. i still haven’t gotten ahold of him. if he’s moved on like he said why won’t he just let me be? i want to make amends with him because i realize all the hurt i caused. i know what to do better now, i just need to know if there’s a chance to get him back. there’s been a lot of damage but i honestly can forgive it all because i love him. he’s very stubborn and he’s saying never again. someone please give me some advice on what to do. i want him back and a better us, i’m ready to grow up and get passed all this stupidity but it’s hard when he is being so stubborn. i need some coaching on what to do, is there any hope? he still told me he loved me on spring break, and always would, he just thinks we were no good and all i see is the good. help please, i know it’s messed up, but it can be better, i just need him to see that. i love him, i miss him, and i want to make us right. we used to be so good but distance, school, and stress got in the way. may 24, 2015, 6:44 pm marijes try singing these songs for yourself repeatedly over a few days or better yet, a few weeks and see it’s effects: “happy song”, “singing in the rain”, “whistle a happy tune”, “my favorite things”, “clim every mountain”, “something good”. and every song that makes you focus on positive and joyful things in life that you can be thankful for…. cheers! may 15, 2015, 8:52 pm fatima well, logically i totally agree with what’s been said in the article. however, right now i feel a bit frustrated. all my life i am following exactly this path – i do enjoy my surroundings, my life, people around. and many people, even strangers, frequently comment that they rarely see a person as happy as me. yet, unfortunately, very very few find me attractive enough to just start simple conversation, let alone anything like a relationship. guess, my question is what am i doing wrong? may 15, 2015, 6:46 pm joe is good to have good relationship ask how can u get it good relationship may 23, 2015, 4:19 pm laura it sounds like a man only wants a woman who never feels anything other than shiny happy perfect. she can never be anxious, worried, upset, hurt, pessimistic, negative, angry etc because it’s simply too much for a guy to deal with. a robot lady with no soul will do just fine. great advice guys. how about women just be themselves and if the guy starts withdrawing, then he’s lame and doesn’t want a real person anyway. it’s not my problem that he can’t deal with someone who is an actual feeling, thinking, bleeding human being. i’m so sick of this type of dating advice, that women always have to be the ones to adjust themselves to appease someone else’s weird tepid behavior. that we have to be the ones to “work” on ourselves t in order to land some dud dude who’s half interested. i’m over it. may 15, 2015, 9:54 am eva you just speak my mind ;) so true! may 15, 2015, 10:43 am alice lol true may 15, 2015, 11:31 am ariah i actually disagree with this perspective. in general, i think women should absolutely try to be happy and stop torturing themselves about the “what ifs”…but not for other men to be impressed (who gives a sh*t what other people think). happiness is something a person can work on for themselves. take this from a person who’s anxious often by nature. (i’ll drink a cup of coffee and the next thing i know i’ll be having a panic attack). i can’t always control how i feel , but i can have control over how i think…and that eventually does influence my moods. may 15, 2015, 3:32 pm eric charles i agree – i would encourage women to do it for themselves. and… i think it’s useful for people to understand that their mood directly affects the quality of their relationships. to be clear, though, i’m definitely not advocating forcing a good mood to impress guys… that would be silly. may 15, 2015, 3:39 pm marijes i am basically a happy person, and i agree that being happy is magnetic enough to attract people, not just men, effortlessly. i find that freedom to be who you are, accepting yourself as you are, loving and enjoying every moment of your life as you are, and feel that you belong to the universe as a whole, makes things easier to think that possibilities are going to be in your favor and you open yourself up to more beautiful things in life, positive things naturally come your way….hope these ideas help. ;) may 15, 2015, 7:54 pm marijes when you are truly happy, there is a natural glow that radiates from within and manifests on the outside. you tend to be more graceful and allowing the sun shine in you like in spring warming the earth and encouraging new life and new beginnings. there is hope, love, joy, and commitment in the enjoyment of life. you naturally become more enthusiastic and loving of life in a serene yet indomitable way. a certain relaxed yet powerful coolness makes you become an authority in confidence and strength inspiring multitude of followers to emulate you. you become somebody others look up to, want to be with, and want to become. life springs up on you like natural spring water from a mountain, quenching the thirst for heroes of the people around you. and this does only make you more courageous to forge ahead because you are naturally a warm and happy person. it can be a state of mind or you can really be born a jovial person. either way, it is still up to you to become such a person. a person of total happiness, enthusiasm and joy, who enjoys life and shares it with others. be that person, and your life will always shine through. stay blessed! :) may 15, 2015, 8:10 pm marijes in conclusion: if you want a feeling of being in heaven, think and focus being in heaven. heaven is basically just a state of mind. focus on where you want or what you want. concentrate on it. be it! “whatever the mind can conceive, the body can achieve.” have a definitely happy, powerful, successful, strong weekend with great impact.! cheers! :) may 15, 2015, 8:40 pm eric charles there’s nothing wrong with being human and having bad days or negative emotions when they come up. however, there’s a tremendous difference between a woman who takes responsibility for her emotions and a woman who feels the world should just deal with her crappy, negative, burdensome attitude and personality. it’s important to realize that people, men and women, want to be around happy people. it’s important to realize that nobody, man or woman, wants to “deal with” your negativity and negative emotions. they are your responsibility. sorry that you’re “so sick of this type of advice”… go seek out advice that tells you what you want to hear… see how it works out for you. i don’t care whether or not you like what i have to say… i care if what i say is effective in the real world and gives people the result they want. you want to be negative and whine? that’s fine… but do it somewhere else. the rest of the people here actually want good results in their life, not a platform to anonymously whine about what they think is fair. moreover, i have worked with many thousands of men and you know what i tell them when they’re not getting the results they want in their love life? i tell them that they need to change something… and some of them whine, “why do men have to do all the work? women just have to show up and their desires and wanted, men have to move mountains, etc.” the fact is, you’re either a complainer or you’re not. you either believe you’re a victim or you’re not. and hopefully you’re not either of those things, because when you’re not, you give yourself the opportunity to improve your life… complainers don’t tend to be super successful… they feel by virtue of them feeling angry that it somehow makes them right. they feel that perceiving injustice from their perspective actually means there is an injustice… at the end of the day… there’s one question worth asking yourself: do you want to be effective or not? may 15, 2015, 12:30 pm katy whilst perpetual moaners and negative people are difficult to be around, sometimes, people, male or female, need a little help and encouragement, to reach a state of happiness and contentment after a difficult time, and whether you are male, female, partner, mother, father etc, being there to help them is a compassionate thing to do. only a sociopath can function without feelings or compassion and everyone knows the disruption they can cause in people lives. august 5, 2015, 10:52 am katy it can take some time to feel happy again, the brain has to go through the grieving process in most cases, before you are released. august 5, 2015, 10:55 am marijes hey! i can relate, but rather prefer to choose to be happy. although it’s hard at first, but once you get the hang of it, it’ll be a breeze. just a few suggestions…try smiling no matter what, even if you feel phony at first, just do it! nike says that. then sing happy songs with positive lyrics that make you happy, like “wistle a happy tune”, “singing in the rain”, “my favorite things”, “something good”, etc., anything to focus your mind on positive things. then surround yourself with people who truly love and accept who you are, basically happy and positive. please do yourself this favor. and start saying good things to yourself. appreciate, love, and accept yourself the way god created you: beautiful, whole, naturally warm and happy person. good-luck and stay happy the rest of your life… ;) may 15, 2015, 9:01 pm shannon i love your . i could not agree more. i cant even tell you how much i love what you said. tak skal du have! july 13, 2015, 5:04 pm jane i recall a girl i knew who would met guys and have her heart broken./ she would buy champaige and put on rick ashley all night and play his songs over and over”never gonna gi ve you up, never gonna let you down,never gonna runaround or dessert you. never gonna make you cry, never gonna say goodbye never gonna tell a lie or hurt you! august 5, 2015, 7:14 am kaylee i’m really heart broken and confused. me and my now ex boyfriend met off an app two years and a couple months ago. he lived in a different state so it was long distance for a couple of months at the beginning. we were head over heels crazy for each other. he actually decided to move states to where i was so we could be closer. we met up and saw each other in person and things were even better. me and him made promises and plans for the future, just loving every minute of it. this was my first real relationship and his longest. all his passed relationship ended horribly, all the girls he’s ever dated has cheated on him or treated him badly. so with my lack of experiences relationships and his horrible ones, our relationship took a twist on things. he was very insecure when we first met, he didn’t want me going places or doing things and he always freaked out if i didn’t text him back in a few minutes. i thought it was a little extreme at first but i loved the attention and everything else with it. i started to think that relationships were suppose to be that way, having to know where that person is and what they are doing… just putting all their attention on you. a year went by and we were still in our happy honeymoon stage of our relationship, but some things started to change. he started to become more confident in himself and wanting more space and his own time. this was all great but in my eyes at the time i thought that this is him becoming more board of me and wanting me less. while his confidence grew mine started to become smaller. the more i pulled him in the more he pushed away. we started to fight and he started to lie and keep things from me. one morning he decided to end things on april the 29th which seemed like it was just out of no where. with this break up i’ve had a big realizations that i need to let him have his guy time, that giving him space isn’t pushing each other away it’s brining us actually closer. one of my other mistakes is not letting the passed go and just bringing them up in fights like ammo. i told him that i’m really sorry and that i’d change these things, that i understand where he is coming from. i also told him if he needed a break to just have time for himself and go visit his family to figure things out that we could do that too. he said no to all of my options. he said that it’s not going to work the whole time he couldn’t give me answers or even look at me in the eyes and just started crying his eyes out. my heart is broken, i can’t sleep, eat, or dink, even my own family is starting to become worried. i haven’t spoken to him since or tried to contact him in anyways. my brother and my ex boyfriend live in the same apartment together. my brother keeps telling me how much of a wreak he is and how he’s afraid to leave him alone. my brother said when i left the apartment after he broke it off with me that my ex just started blowing up his phone with messages saying how he’s on the kitchen floor crying in pain and doesn’t want to be left alone. my ex told my brother that it’s like that saying “you don’t know what you have tell it gone.” i’m just really confused…it’s obvious he still loves me and he’s going threw a hard time too. all i want is my boyfriend back, i gave that boy everything, he was my best friend. i just don’t understand how this could of happened, i really could use some advice and insight on my situation. may 4, 2015, 8:13 pm swagathika hi guys…. this is swagathika i was having a great love for the past 10 months i know him for 3 yrs he had all bad habbits but wen he got interest over me he left evrythg jus for me and just to be happy he took care of me like my mother.. i was very much blessed the problem was i had three family frd (boys) i am very close to them…. my boy didn’t like me talking to those boys he didn’t tell me tht first he was always afraid that i would leave him… so he kept his fear inside his heart and was worrying a lot.. fa 8 months now wen i came to know tht he zz hving this feari decided to stop talking with everyone but my boy is telling me tht he lost his pure love on me.. he is telling me tht he loves me but not like before i begged him very badly… for 8 days i cried and begged him….. v both are very close…. v are mutually into evrythg even sex…. now he zz telling tht he is tired of fear and he can’t be like before frdzz what should i do? what should i do to get him back? plz tell me april 29, 2015, 12:14 pm c this is great eric. i’ve struggled for a while with a guy that’s not really been putting in much effort, i think because i was always there waiting for him and over functioning. he’s just broken up with me and i realise how much of myself i had lost and how i wasn’t taking care of my own happiness. i kind of for drawn into his hot/cold behaviour and felt anxious uneasy. i’m going to take my life back and take care of myself and be gracious and honest with him. i shouldn’t pin all my hopes on another person but all my hopes on myself. i really hope for a big shift on perspective on the inside after this. of course i am heartbroken but i realise i fall into the same pattern in every relationship so this breakup is a big sign to change. april 3, 2015, 6:51 am stephanie hello. this is my first time posting. i would really appreciate some advice because i don’t know what to do. i feel almost like a fool over this. i am a 30 year old female. my ex is a 29 year old male. we dated for 18 months. two weeks after the breakup, i ran into him at a bar. he was with two 22 year old girls from his gym. i tried to talk to him and he was very cold to me, wouldn’t give me the time of day, and then yelled at me when i touched his shoulder. we have been in no contact for 6 months. he unfriended me on facebook in october and blocked me on facebook at the end of january. i found out at the end of december that he reported me to the police because he thought i keyed his car. this occurred sometime in october (which makes sense why he and his friends and family all suddenly dropped me from facebook during that time period). i was really hurt that he thought i would do such a thing, and more so because he knows how hard i’ve worked at my job and he thought i would jeopardize it like that or even do something so low to him (on a side note” the report was made in october but i didn’t learn of this until late december when the detective called me to tell me that there was zero evidence tying me to it – there was surveillance in his complex but obviously was not me). because of that, i have stayed away from him completely because i don’t want to have more trouble or give him an excuse if he’s still of the mindset to do something to me. i feel like enough time has passed that he would have cooled off. i wasn’t even the one to initiate the breakup. he was. i don’t know why he’s so angry with me. i’m hoping he’s not angry any more because i do miss him and i would like another chance to make it work. i feel like if we’re going to get back together, then it needs to be his move. hjælp venligst. march 25, 2015, 1:19 pm jana i googled this and found zero! my ex-husband continues to reach out to befriend by ex-boyfriends. i know it has no impact on my life, but me and my children find it to be very odd, especially because when i was dating my boyfriend(s), he talked bad about them. ?? someone please explain… february 24, 2015, 11:09 am crysle hey, basically i really like my ex, even though we only went out for three days, like he keeps trying to make and effort to talk to me and said i have banging boobs. does this mean he’s moved on or still into me? february 9, 2015, 5:45 pm annabella well i am absolutely in love with him and im actually the one that broke up with him, because i knew he was cheating and he is still always flirting with me but he is also still flirting with the girl he cheated on me with and i don’t know what to do. february 4, 2015, 10:35 am ximena even if you think your relationship with your ex boyfriend is completely torn, there is a way to make him fall hopelessly in love with you again (or at least give you a second chance!). february 7, 2015, 6:19 pm magdeline my ex boyfriend broke up with me because his fiancé i didn’t know abt found out about us and my ex told me i ruined his life because his fiance dumped him we have been staying together for a year i love him alot i asked for forgiveness and beg him to get back together and he told me we will never be together i xld stop contacting sending him message he blocked me on whatsap and m thinking of talking to him face to face at his place. he unblocked me and told me we can be friends he told me i xld pretend as if we never met and blocked me again what xld i do i love him can’t move on please help me its been a week since we broke up january 8, 2015, 4:15 am elisha magdeline, you need to first realize that you are amazing and have so much more worth than he is making you out to have. he was with you for a year and had a fiance too?? he is the total loser. and not only did he cheat on you with someone he was engaged to, but then he tried to make you out to be the bad guy? magdeline, please move on from him. you should block him, not the other way around. you need to see your value and realize who you are. find yourself and know what you are worth. and then someone will come along who will treat you right. it is totally worth it to be single for a little while than to be with a 2-timing jerk like him. please say you’ll stay away… january 8, 2015, 10:56 am pink24 why would you want to be friends with an ex boyfriend who didn’t tell you he had a fiance? january 18, 2015, 10:57 am katy when he said you ruined his life, i think he means you ruined his set up (which of course you didn’t, he had set himself up to be doomed), and if he loved his fiancé why would he need you too. perhaps he needs to leave and join a polygamist culture where they can all pretend to love each other equally on tap, whereas you will be free to find the exclusive partner you deserve. august 5, 2015, 11:05 am destiny i feel hurt i feel diffrent without him its not the same, and i want him back bad december 18, 2014, 9:24 am diana excellent! love this article! october 8, 2014, 10:22 am gabby my ex broke up with me 2-3months ago… we still talk & he says he still loves me. idk if i should believe him. he hurt me real bad. i found out he was telling one of my friends that e loves her too. he changed alot. i love him alot even tho all he does is hurt me. i want him back but i just dont know how to get him back…. september 13, 2014, 3:57 pm siwazuri eric, thank you very much for your article it is really good and helping. thank you… august 26, 2014, 1:51 pm karen turner eric, i was so glad to read an article by you again, instead of the other guys whom you often attach links to, because in my perspective, your wisdom regarding helping women understand beats anyone else’s that i’ve encountered. this article was a great example and i believe 100% that not only are you right in this regard, but that you shared what is probably the very most important of all of the aspects of what men find and don’t find attractive in a woman. you summarized it all very well in this one article that i found to be quite valuable. thanks so much and please let us hear from you directly more often! :-) august 26, 2014, 12:01 pm pink24 thank you so much for this great article. you’re right! happiness is the key. i’ve been single now for a few years, post a really bad breakup, and i’ve spent all this time focusing on myself, on what makes me truly happy, independent of guys. and i can honestly say it’s an amazing feeling to be comfortable with yourself. i feel more attractive now than i ever did in my relationship. and i was in my twenties! thanks for breaking it down in such an honest way. everyone should follow your advice! august 26, 2014, 9:14 am t hi eric, i’m in a complicated situation with my ex and i really need some help as he’s starting to pull away again. jim and i met at a house party in october, and shortly after, we did the whole exclusive boyfriend/gf thing from november, breaking up in february. right before we met, we’d both left destructive relationships so the debris of that, combined with work stresses and poor communication lead to the inevitable breakup. over the past 4 months, we’ve hung out every weekend, although i’m always the one to initiate communication and making plans. when we’re together, the intimacy is there and it’s like we’re a couple again. he never texts or calls- unless he’s ing to my texts and he takes hours or days to respond. i feel if i never contacted him, i’d never her from him again and it’s strange because he doesn’t seem to have an issue making plans to hang out and stick with them in advance. i often leave items at his house and when i return, they’re usually in plain sight where i left them, so i’m pretty sure he’s not seeing anyone else and he confirmed that with me. he is a musician, always playing music, spends a lot of time alone or with family. he’s introverted with a ton of hobbies and creative projects and he’s also a gamer. he’s completely different than any man i’ve ever dated, and i just don’t know what to do. can you suggest ways that would help deepen our connection or a communication style that would open him up and act the way he did when we first got together-assertive, attentive, or how to get into his emotional mind?? thanks august 11, 2014, 1:33 pm elisha to to renne’s comment, you should act happy. not overly happy, as if you are just so glad that you are single but you should be the same vibrant girl that he fell in love with. he liked you from the beginning because you were happy and were out there living your life and doing you. so, be that same girl that is still out there living her life regardless of him. a man doesn’t want your happiness to be based on him or what he does. he needs a girl that is going to be just fine with or without him. you should still be there to listen if he wants to talk but do not force him to talk about anything he doesn’t want to. he’s not trying to shut you out. he just needs space to get it figured out on his own. and being able to figure things out on his own is something that builds confidence in himself and will help him be ready for you sooner rather than later. so, give him space. be happy regardless. and be there for him when/if he needs you… but no pressure. may 8, 2014, 11:30 am renne this is exactly the situation i am in… i was dumped by my bf, and though i knew he loved me before, things changed. my question is if you are taking this advice into practice in your life, how should you act around the guy if you still see him or have contact with him? what is appropriate, what is not. how can you show him that you want him to approach you and develop that relationship with you without compromising what was said in this article? april 27, 2014, 12:02 pm stella best yea thanks that great april 25, 2014, 6:36 pm