Spørg en fyr: Han dumpede mig, men jeg vil have ham tilbage

lia hej, jeg har lidt brug for rådgivning. sagen er, min bf og jeg daterede i mindre end 6 måneder, og vi er stadig unge, men sagen er, han bor 40 minutter væk. vi plejede at mødes mindst 3 gange om måneden for at hænge ud og bare gå ud. dagen før han brød op med mig, ringede vi til, og han handlede normalt, jeg var en følelsesladet rutsjebane, fordi mine hormoner var overalt, og jeg manglede ham mere end normalt. vi talte normalt, og vi lovede at prøve at ringe hver anden dag, det var ham, der foreslog det. han sagde, jeg elsker dig, og alt var i orden, han bogstaveligt talt gav mig nul tegn på, at han ville bryde sammen. og tro mig, jeg har hver dag tænkt på, at vi tilbragte meget sammen. alligevel, pointen er, dagen efter det får jeg en besked kl. 2 fra ham om, at han er kommet til at indse, at jeg elsker ham mere, end han elsker mig, og at det ikke var hans hensigt, og at jeg ville være lykkeligere et eller andet sted andet. så spurgte jeg ham, hvorfor tror han, at jeg elsker ham mere, og hans var, at han ved, fordi han ikke vil være i et forhold, og det gør jeg. lang historie kort, jeg er færdig med reglen uden kontakt, og hvis jeg ikke er i stand til at have ham tilbage, vil jeg i det mindste have os til at forblive venner. Jeg vil ikke have ham tilbage, fordi jeg er umoden, jeg elsker ham virkelig. Jeg ved bare ikke, hvordan jeg skal vise ham, at han holder så meget af mig som jeg gør for ham, hvilket er tilfældet. 19. oktober 2019, 04:23 lola kære eric, tak !!! hvis jeg nogensinde havde brug for at høre dette var i dag. den måde, du brød det på var geni. gav så meget mening. igen tak. lola 28. august 2019, 15:24 rachael hej jeg har brug for dit råd, jeg mødte denne fyr på facebook, vi begyndte at chatte, vi voksede sammen med hinanden, jeg følte det var kærlighed han viste mig kærlighed eller måske foregav han, at jeg faldt for ham, vi mødtes på vores første date, vi kyssede og næsten havde sex, men jeg stoppede ham på d 2. date, vi havde sex, jeg kunne godt lide det, fordi det havde været længe, ​​jeg havde sex, jeg elskede ham d mere, jeg havde aldrig en anelse om, at han skulle rejse i næste næste dag, han begyndte at opføre sig med at snuse mig og ignorere mine opkald og tekster, jeg var forvirret, jeg følte, jeg havde fornærmet ham eller noget, men nej, han fortalte mig aldrig, da en af ​​mine venner konfronterede ham, han fortalte hende, at han aldrig kunne lide mig, for ikke at tale om at elske mig, at jeg kastede mig på ham, hvad vi havde, var bare en fling, men jeg elsker stadig ham, jeg har brug for dit råd 27. juli 2019, 6:44 er lola dump ham. kør mod bakkerne og se ikke tilbage. han har allerede fortalt din ven, at det bare var en fling for ham. hvad har du ellers brug for at vide skat? 28. august 2019, 15:27 kører Jeg er i en lignende situation. Jeg havde en kæreste, som også var min ven i årevis og min bedste ven i et par måneder. så blev vi forelsket. han er en sjov kærlig person. Vi har altid været meget ærlige og ærlige over for hinanden. han var meget seriøs i starten. han gjorde alt for mig. han holdt endda fast. men så 6 måneder ind i forholdet, og han sagde, at venskaber er bedre, fordi de er lette. Jeg var forfærdet. Jeg bad ham tænke over det. Jeg holdt tingene rolige. han ringede til mig næste dag og sagde, at han ikke kunne stoppe med at tænke på mig. Jeg har vrede problemer og jeg taler ting, der skader folk, når jeg er sur. Jeg fortalte ham engang, at jeg følte mig mere forbundet med min eks, og det gjorde ham ondt. undskyldte jeg. så fortalte jeg ham, at jeg keder mig, fordi han ikke er ligeglad med at møde mig. undskyldte jeg. tingene var okay efter det. Jeg følte mig dårlig for mine vrede, så jeg stoppede med at tale med ham i en til to dage, hver gang jeg var vred, bare så jeg ikke gjorde ondt på ham. han plejede altid at prøve at ordne det. da vi var i den tolvte standard og karrieren var på randen, blev jeg forvirret, fordi jeg valgte ca, hvilket er meget vanskeligt. dog gav han mig håbet om, at tingene skulle ordne sig, og bad mig blive. efter et par dage kunne han ikke bestemme sin karriere, så han sagde, at han ville begynde at distancere folk og venner for at fokusere mere. sagde jeg okay. så sagde han igen, at han ville holde det til venskab. Jeg sagde okay, og så sagde han, at han savnede mig, men han foreslog ikke at komme tilbage. Jeg forsøgte at forklare ham, at det ikke er en mulighed at give op. sagde han, at han vil gøre sit bedste for at være sammen med mig. jeg krydsede endda ham. han flyttede ikke. så pludselig en dag havde vi en kamp. Jeg talte ikke med ham i 2 dage. han sendte en besked til mig 5 gange om dagen i 2 dage. da jeg afkølet og svarede, sagde han, at han bare ville være venner. han sagde endda, at disse to dage var meget vanskelige for ham. denne gang var han fast. jeg græd meget, han flyttede ikke. han sagde bare, at han ikke kunne klare tingene og blive seriøs. han sagde, at det hele var helt forkert. da jeg græd mere, sagde han, at han løj hele tiden og sagde undskyld mange gange. han græd endda. Jeg prøvede at holde tingene kølige og vide, hvad der sker. da jeg talte med ham som en ven, sagde han, at hans mor bad ham om at fokusere på sin karriere, og da han var 80%, og jeg var en 90% scorende studerende, havde han brug for at finde ud af sit eget liv. han gav bare blandede udsagn. han lod mig ikke græde. han var altid der. nu også hvis jeg ringer til ham en gang, så ringer han også til mig, men hans venner siger, at de vidste, at han ikke kunne blive seriøs med nogen. Jeg er bare ked af, at jeg mistede en meget vigtig del af mit liv. Jeg er stadig forvirret over den virkelige grund. så meget som jeg kender ham, forbliver han også forvirret meget af tiden. jeg ved ikke hvad jeg skal gøre ..? 28. juli 2018, 12:06 marnie hej eric har virkelig brug for din hjælp. Jeg så en mand en gang om ugen i 2 år. vi blev enige om venskab, selv så der var noget romantik der og noget fysisk kontakt intet mere end kram kys, der holdt hænder. i den tid på 2 år sagde han aldrig til mig, at han ville have et seriøst forhold til mig, men han ville have, at jeg skulle sove med ham, da han følte, at han, der aldrig skete, selvom jeg stadig nød den fysiske hengivenhed, der til sidst sprang ud og jeg fandt ham at være slags kold og fjern fra tid til anden, så ville han være kærlig igen, det gik sådan, indtil det endelig sprang ud og der ikke var nogen kærlighed. sagen er, at vi stadig henviste til vores forhold som specielle venner, uanset kæreste eller kæreste. Jeg spurgte ham, hvad han engang ville have ansigt til ansigt, og han så bare på mig og havde ikke en. der irriterede mig, jeg følte, at han forventede, at jeg skulle kende og læse hans sind, som jeg ikke kunne og var uretfærdig. han sagde en anden gang, at han ledte efter ømhed og sjov, da han blev ældre, så jeg tænkte, at udtrykket sjov betød, at han ikke rigtig ville have noget seriøst med mig. Jeg ville ikke være ønsket bare for en sjov omdirigering. han klagede over, at han ikke havde et sexliv og sagde engang til mig, at livet var for kort, så jeg skulle bare sove med ham. vores dage ud hver uge var altid interessante, og han kørte mig til naturskønne steder i land pub pub frokoster. mainlt betalt af ham, som han insisterede på. Jeg bidrog sommetid, men han var normalt meget fast på, at han betalte, så jeg lod ham, da jeg ikke arbejdede, og han gjorde. Jeg er slet ikke materiale, og vi udvekslede fødselsdags julegaver. Jeg havde følelser for ham og var ligeglad med ham. han sagde aldrig, at han altid ville tage billeder af mig og de steder, vi besøgte, da vi gik ud. han sagde et par gange, at han passede mig, selvom han aldrig sagde, at han elskede mig. alligevel nu er han gået væk fra mig for 10 uger siden klippe. til sidst fortalte han mig, at ægte grund var i hans egne ord, at han ikke havde et sexliv, og det, og han var honeat med mig. han sagde også, at han ikke var sikker på, at jeg var rigtig for ham. før han sagde disse ting, efter at han meget snart gik væk, tog han sig med på ferie i en uge, mens jeg ikke var hjemme, han var ikke opmærksom på, at han var på ferie og følte mig. Jeg kontaktede ham først med sms for at ønske ham wllness, og jeg fik det samme tilbage. sagde han til sidst på telefon efter omkring 5 uger uden kontakt, at han bare vil have mig til at være glad og glad, selvom det ikke er med ham og en anden. det gjorde mig virkelig ondt at høre disse ord. Jeg føler, at det er min skyld for ham, der går og føler skyld, selvom jeg plejede meget for ham, var jeg ikke sikker på, hvordan han virkelig følte mig og ikke ønskede at komme til skade eller skade ham, så jeg sad på hegnet og aldrig kommunikerede ordentligt med ham. Jeg forventede aldrig, at tingene ville komme til en brat ende. og var følelsesladet trist og vred over at han kunne gøre dette, jeg tror, ​​at mine følelsesmæssige tekster bare skubbede ham længere væk. Jeg har ikke været i stand til at stoppe med at tænke på ham, da han var min bedste ven, nu sørger jeg over tabet af ham. måske hvis jeg havde taget en risiko og sov med ham, ville det ikke være kommet til dette. Jeg fortalte ham, at jeg plejede og elskede ham, savnede ham, men han vendte ikke tilbage til den tekst. han ønskede mig et godt nytår og sagde, at han håber, at dette bliver et godt år for mig. det fik det til at lyde så endeligt. som jeg havde sagt i min tidligere tekst, var jeg glad for, at jeg savnede ham og bare vil have det til at fungere. eric eller en anden her, hvad er dine synspunkter, kan du give mig dit input og nogle vejledninger. Jeg kan acceptere sandheden. Jeg er ikke erfaren i forhold og har brug for vejledning. spørgsmål. hvor eller hvad gjorde jeg forkert? hvordan føler du, at han følte mig forkælet i forholdet? tror du, at han virkelig brydde sig om mig og ville have noget seriøst med mig, fordi han aldrig fortalte mig det. hvordan skal jeg komme videre nu gå videre. tak alle comnentsv vil blive værdsat. hvilken type forhold tror du, vi havde? marnie 13. januar 2018, 13:40 patty indsendt på tego 120 GB dysku til zasozdzrczä, wciä… å¼ siä mäczä na 20stce z czasã³w premiery. zresztä… x z grudnia 2005 teå¼ wciä… å¼ dziaå‚a (to chyba jedyna taka sztuka na å ›wiecie), choä ‡ napäd mu siada. dlatego kupiå‚em rok temu ver. arkade, dla å ›wiätego spokoju. i dlatego teå¼ nie mam wiäkszego dysku, snif. 9. marts 2017, 00:08 donna hej, jeg er første gangs læser. Jeg er ikke engang sikker på, om hvad der skete ville blive defineret som et brud. alt var i orden mellem os, indtil han pludselig blokerede mig på twitter sidste jul (juledag). vi daterede aldrig. det var mere som den situation med den ven, som du vidste, at hun har følelser for dig, men du kunne ikke lide hende på den måde. Jeg fandt lige for nylig (sidste uge) ud af, hvorfor han blokerede mig. en af ​​mine venner sendte mig en tekst, der viste mig, at min eks postede på instagram, hvor han sagde, hvorfor han blokerede mig og et par andre mennesker, og det var på grund af nogle upassende billeder, han modtog, og han ønskede at beskytte sine døtre fra teenageren mod at se billederne, så han blokerede mig og nogle andre piger. sandheden er, at jeg aldrig sendte ham upassende billeder, faktisk var det hele fra en pige, der sendte billederne, men hun forsøgte fortsat at inkludere mig og en anden pige i tweets med de upassende billeder. Jeg følte mig dårlig, at det skete, og at jeg ikke forsvarede ham og hans børn, men jeg havde min egen ting i gang, jeg fik bare et fuldtidsjob og holdt mig travlt med det, så jeg havde ikke tid til at blive involveret i det drama. derefter brød han op med sin forlovede i begyndelsen af ​​året. Jeg ville være der for ham, men jeg holdt afstand ved at vide, at han stadig var følsom over for, hvad der skete (jeg vidste ikke årsagen dengang), og at ingen kontakt ville være bedst. han var meget indlysende om sit hjertesorg på twitter i løbet af sommeren, men jeg holdt afstand. næste ting jeg ved, mens jeg ventede på, at han skulle kontakte mig, fandt jeg ud af, at han i august har en ny kæreste, der er 10 år yngre end mig (20 år yngre end ham). så jeg antager, at denne pige er et rebound i betragtning af at han ikke var over sin tidligere forlovede endnu, og jeg tror stadig ikke, at han er over hende, da han er, kommenterer på twitter og instagram, der skal overlades til private sms'er (hvis du får min drift). alligevel, jeg elsker ham virkelig, og jeg tror, ​​at han husker dette, men han føler bare, at han skal dateres og være sammen med “hollywood piger”, fordi han er skuespiller. sidste gang vi talte personligt (hvilket var for 3 år siden i sidste uge), fortalte han stille og roligt, at jeg ikke skulle føle mig flov over mine følelser, og at han ville give mig en chance, hvis det ikke gik med hans forlovede, og han takkede mig for at være en god ven og støtte så meget hans familie og karriere. så fandt jeg ud af, at han har holdt kontakten med mig ved hjælp af en rollespilskonto på twitter, og jeg vidste ikke, at det var ham før januar. for en måned siden fandt jeg ud af, hvorfor han blokerede mig. en af ​​mine venner sendte mig en tekst, der viste mig, at min eks postede på instagram, hvor han sagde, hvorfor han blokerede mig og et par andre mennesker, og det var på grund af nogle upassende billeder, han modtog, og han ønskede at beskytte sine døtre fra teenageren mod at se billederne, så han blokerede mig og nogle andre piger. sandheden er, at jeg aldrig sendte ham upassende billeder, faktisk var det hele fra en pige, der sendte billederne, men hun forsøgte fortsat at inkludere mig og en anden pige i tweets med de upassende billeder. Jeg følte mig dårlig, at det skete, og at jeg ikke forsvarede ham og hans børn, men jeg havde min egen ting i gang, jeg fik bare et fuldtidsjob og holdt mig travlt med det, så jeg havde ikke tid til at blive involveret i det drama. derefter brød han op med sin forlovede i begyndelsen af ​​året. Jeg ville være der for ham, men jeg holdt afstand ved at vide, at han stadig var følsom over for, hvad der skete (jeg vidste ikke årsagen dengang), og at ingen kontakt ville være bedst. han var meget indlysende om sit hjertesorg på twitter i løbet af sommeren, men jeg holdt afstand. næste ting jeg ved, mens jeg ventede på, at han skulle kontakte mig, fandt jeg ud af, at han i august har en ny kæreste, der er 10 år yngre end mig (20 år yngre end ham). så jeg antager, at denne pige er et rebound i betragtning af at han ikke var over sin tidligere forlovede endnu, og jeg tror stadig ikke, at han er over hende, da han er, kommenterer på twitter og instagram, der skal overlades til private sms'er (hvis du får min drift). alligevel, jeg elsker ham virkelig, og jeg tror, ​​at han husker dette, men han føler bare, at han skal dateres og være sammen med “hollywood piger”, fordi han er skuespiller. sidste gang vi talte personligt (som var for 3 år siden i denne uge), fortalte han stille og roligt, at jeg ikke skulle føle mig flov over mine følelser, og at han ville give mig en chance, hvis det ikke gik med hans forlovede, og han takkede mig for at være en god ven og støtte så meget hans familie og karriere. så fandt jeg ud af, at han har holdt kontakten med mig ved hjælp af en rollespilskonto på twitter, og jeg vidste ikke, at det var ham før januar. jeg ved virkelig ikke hvad jeg skal gøre. jeg føler mig tabt. 2. december 2016, 10:14 mara bagefter forstår jeg, hvorfor mit forhold mislykkedes med min eks. Jeg pressede ham til mig, når jeg flyttede ind hos ham. skønt vi var stabile i et år. Jeg fulgte ikke hans bekymringer, som han ville bringe om mig. han havde også ønsker, for eksempel ville han ofte opmuntre og inspirere mig til at klare mig godt i skolen, få et højtlønnet job. generelt ændrede han mig til det bedste. men da vi kom til det næste hus, blev tingene rystede. Jeg var ikke i stand til at 'behage' ham som før, han var ikke glad for det. men jeg følte en overkoldhed fra ham. han ville fortælle mig, at han har brug for sin plads. men intet syntes at give mening for mig, da det blev værre. hans mor foredragte mig og insisterede på, at jeg hjalp med at betale eller gå halvdelen. han ved, hvor jeg var - i skolen og arbejdede et deltidsjob. Jeg troede, vi havde en aftale om vores situation. han havde brug for mig til at hjælpe ham med det, i det omfang det frustrerede ham. hurtigt frem til for blot et par måneder siden, konfronterede jeg ham med, at han ikke var glad, og kort derefter flyttede jeg tilbage til mine forældre. Jeg føler mig meget såret og skuffet, mest sønderknust. og jeg kan ikke lide at give så meget opmærksomhed, fordi det er ubrugeligt. fordi vi stadig taler som om vi stadig var sammen. for mig er det som om han stadig vil have mig i sit liv, men han ønsker ikke at forpligte sig. han siger, at han er stolt af mig og kan lide den forandring, han ser på mig som mere kontrolleret og fokuseret i livet. men jeg gør meget ondt, men maskerer det. Jeg har fortalt ham, hvordan jeg har det, men han har ingen løsning undtagen for at sige, at han stadig elsker mig og bekymrer sig. men jeg vil have ham til at forpligte sig til mig. det gør ondt at bare være hans ven. det er 2 år siden jeg har været i et forhold med ham. han er ældre end jeg er med et godt betalende job / karriere. han fortalte mig altid, at jeg er den for ham, og at nettet har et hus hårdere og har børn. Jeg ved ikke, hvordan jeg skal være fortrolig med ham. det er som om jeg er sur, men jeg ved, det er ikke begrundelse for ham, fordi han er glad, hvor han er i livet. og jeg vil ikke stoppe med at tale med ham endnu. Jeg ved, jeg er nødt til at leve mit liv og nå mine mål i mellemtiden. men jeg investerede så meget af min tid og følelsesmæssige energi sammen med ham. og jeg ved, at han også har det. men det er svært at tro, at det er forbi. og at jeg må foregive at være ok med at være hans ven. og med fordele. Jeg ved ikke, hvordan jeg kan se situationen. tak 16. august 2016, 18:23 jane min kæreste brød op med mig i sidste måned efter et 4-årigt forhold inklusive et live-forhold i næsten 2-2,5 år og sagde, at han elsker en anden, som han havde gjort med den pige før vores opbrud. han tror han elsker hende nu. både mig og min kæreste er 22. han vil stadig være venner med mig. Jeg har dog ingen kontakt med ham i tre uger nu. Jeg føler mig ødelagt. Jeg vil have ham tilbage i mit liv, men han siger, at han aldrig kommer tilbage til mig. Jeg har det som om han har erstattet mig med den kylling natten over. Jeg ved ikke, hvad der foregår i hans sind. hvad skal jeg gøre? nogen hjælp mig venligst 13. juni 2016, 09:32 toya jeg ved ikke hvad jeg skal sige ved bare at jeg også står over for den samme smerte, fordi min kæreste var så voldelig og i går misbrugte han mig følelsesmæssigt, men alligevel vil jeg vende tilbage til ham og på toppen af ​​det er han den der brød op med mig, jeg er så bange for ham og elsker ham på samme tid ikke ved, om jeg skal ringe hej eller sende en sms til ham. jeg er så forvirret, vi bruger til at blive sammen, han var min ven, han var alt, og jeg vil have ham tilbage, hvad skal jeg gøre, vær venlig at hjælpe mig. 29. august 2016, 17:19 Jane min kæreste brød op med mig i sidste måned og sagde, at han elsker en anden. vi begge var sammen i 4 år. han slog sig ud med den pige inden vores opbrud og nu tror han, at han elsker hende. dog vil han have mig til at forblive venner med ham. han har erstattet mig med hende om en nat. også, jeg har ingen kontakt med ham siden tre uger nu. vi er begge 22. jeg elsker ham meget. Jeg vil have ham tilbage i mit liv. han siger, at han aldrig kommer tilbage. Jeg føler mig ødelagt. hjælp venligst. 13. juni 2016, 09:27 ashley javette williams nogle tak til dette, fordi dette er den nøjagtige situation, jeg er i nu og har brug for svar !! 14. juni 2017, 17:34 mina min kæreste på et år brød op med mig på grund af tillid og jalousi. det var alt min skyld for at være paranoid hver gang han skubbede som til sine damevenner på facebook. Jeg blev jaloux på en kvinde, men han har ingen affære med hende. han følte, at han mistede sig selv på grund af min jalousi. vi brød op for en uge siden. han fortalte mig, at jeg er den bedste kæreste nogensinde. men vi brød op, og han fortalte mig, at han gerne ville være alene, og at han ikke ville finde en ny kærlighed igen. vi er stadig venner på facebook. Jeg er stadig ven med sine børn og to bedste veninder på facebook. vi kan aktivt se hinandens indlæg, og jeg spurgte ham, om han vil have mig til at blokere ham, ellers ville han blokere mig på facebook, men han sagde, at det ikke er nødvendigt at gøre det. så vi forbliver venner på facebook. jeg formodes at skulle hjem til påskeferien, men da vi brød sammen, ved jeg ikke, om jeg har brug for det. Jeg har lyst til at gå til sit sted for at tale med ham, men jeg tøver med at gøre det eller ringe til ham eller sende en sms til ham. er der nogen chance for, at han vil overveje at vende tilbage til mig? 21. marts 2016, 09:54 emily så min kæreste på et år brød op med mig for 3 dage siden. vi planlagde at blive forlovet senere på denne måned. vi havde mange problemer, der fortsatte med at komme op, og det hjalp ikke, jeg var på prævention med meget dårlige bivirkninger som at blive rasende over noget, ingen kontrol over vrede eller tristhed. vi talte, og alt gik, men det var stadig nødvendigt at afslutte min pakke med piller og derefter gå ud af dem. han brød op med mig på grund af en udluftningstekst om, hvordan jeg følte, at jeg mistede ham, fordi han fjernede den intime del af vores forhold. Jeg ved, at han havde en god grund, men jeg kunne ikke hjælpe, hvordan jeg havde det. den dag brød han op og hævdede, at det var fra ting tidligere i forholdet, som han var fortrolig med, og han fortalte mig dengang, og hvordan han ikke har brug for nogen til at ændre for at være perfekt, han har brug for nogen perfekt. Jeg elsker ham så meget, og jeg ved ikke, om vi snart kommer sammen igen. hans forældre spillede en vigtig rolle i vores forhold, og det hele gik dårligt, da han begyndte at fortælle mig, hvad de ville sige om mig og indrømmede over for ham, at vi skulle bryde op. den dag, vi brød op, gik jeg senere til hans hus og bad om at tale ham og hans forældre. vi talte, og hans forældre var støttende som altid, men antydede stadig, hvordan vi har brug for at sætte hinanden først, fordi vi begge har gennemgået meget i vores liv, og vi er ikke et godt supportsystem for hinanden i øjeblikket. han og jeg talte sent, og hvordan det kommer til mange spørgsmål som mistillid, jeg havde, og kontrollerende faktor også. han vidste fra starten, at jeg har fået mit hjerte brækket mange gange, og at det er svært at stole på mennesker eller kontrollere nogen, når jeg er i et forhold. Jeg fortalte ham, at jeg ville ændre og stoppe, men han sagde nej, og vi er nu brudt op, og jeg er ødelagt. han sagde i slutningen, at han elsker mig, efter at jeg sagde det til ham først, men han kan ikke tage dette længere. jeg vil være tilbage med ham, men mit spørgsmål er..er der nogen chance for det. Jeg prøver at sortere mit liv i øjeblikket og prøver at være lykkelig, men det fungerer ikke. Jeg har ikke kontaktet ham inden for de sidste to dage, vær venlig at hjælpe 5. februar 2016, 10:18 terri tak for at være ærlig. dette er en gammel regel. hvis du ikke er tilfreds med dig selv, hvordan kan du forvente, at nogen anden skal være tilfreds med dig, og det eneste der står i vejen for din lykke er dig selv. det var det, jeg fortsatte med at fortælle mig selv, og jeg gik og tog en evaluering af, hvad der gør mig glad. Jeg fandt ud af, at jeg hele mit liv arbejdede og levede for at gøre andre glade, og jeg havde ingen idé om, hvad der gjorde mig glad. skør jeg ved det, men åh så sandt. Jeg er nu en eventyrer. Jeg er villig til at prøve det og se om jeg kan føje det til min liste over hvad der gør mig glad !! 18. december 2015, 12:46 engel jeg har brug for hjælp. min kæreste dumpede mig bare. vores forhold var ikke særlig godt. han gav os en sidste chance. han gav os en måneds tid til at se, om tingene blev bedre eller ej. de gjorde. han sagde selv, at de gjorde det. han mødte mig. gjorde alt hvad han kunne. den næste uge sendte han en besked til mig om, at han ville have en pause. og da jeg spurgte ham, hvorfor løj han og gav mig falsk håb, sagde han, at han bare var “god”. Jeg vil have ham til at føle smerten. vil han nogensinde prøve at komme tilbage? 13. december 2015, 15:18 eli jeg var sammen med denne fyr i 2 år, vi brød op i 4 måneder sagde, at vi aldrig kommer sammen igen den 4. måned han fortalte mig, at han savnede mig, vi kom sammen igen, da vi kom sammen igen, alt hvad vi gjorde var at argumentere, så han sagde, at han ikke kan gøre os mere, og at han ikke føler det samme, og det vil aldrig virke, tror du, han går at komme tilbage, hvis jeg giver ham tid og plads, vi går altid sammen, og han kommer tilbage, men idk, hvis denne tid er anderledes, mistede vi jomfruelighed sammen, og han sagde, at han aldrig vil elske en pige så meget som mig 29. november 2015, 23:53 nikita singh min kæreste brød op med mig efter at have været sammen med mig i 15 måneder, han brød kun to dage tilbage. og naturligvis er jeg ødelagt. han siger, at det ikke fungerer, og at det virkelig ikke giver mening mere, og derfor skal han gå væk. Jeg mødte ham i går for at bede, og han var bare fast ved sin beslutning. Jeg har talt med sin bedste ven, og han tror, ​​at det bare er en kamp, ​​og at han vil vende tilbage til mig efter en uges tid. men jeg ved ikke noget mere. så i dag om morgenen sendte jeg ham en lang besked om, at jeg stadig elsker og altid vil. og en dag vil han indse, at dette at gå væk ikke var den rigtige løsning. Jeg sagde også, at jeg vil vente på ham. som han svarede og sagde, at han havde brug for tid til at være den samme person igen. hans bedste ven fortalte mig nu at begynde at handle afsides. for at få ham til at jage mig. og jeg planlægger at gøre det. men sendte jeg ham denne besked til en handling af fuldstændig desperation (det var, hvis jeg er ærlig), og vil det skubbe ham væk? hvad skal jeg gøre nu? 9. september 2015, kl. 05.20 håbefuld min kæreste, jeg har været sammen med i de sidste 9 måneder, forlod mig for et par uger siden, jeg er stadig fuldt forelsket med ham og ville give alt for en ny chance med ham. grundene til at han forlod mig er små ting, der kan repareres, som at skrive mindre eller holde mindre hænder på campus, hvilket ikke er grunde til at lade nogen være tilbage. han siger, at han er færdig, og at han er gået videre og vil tilslutte sig en anden pige, men jeg har stadig et håb, jeg ved bare, hvordan eller hvad jeg skal gøre for at få ham tilbage. Jeg elsker virkelig ham virkelig og har denne tarmfølelse, at det ikke skal ende sådan, jeg ved bare ikke, hvordan man vinder ham tilbage eller får ham til at blive interesseret i mig igen. han har ignoreret mig og været uhøflig, så komplimenterer jeg tilfældigt og er på udkig efter hjælp eller råd fra nogen, vær venlig at sætte pris på 24. juni 2015, 19:00 løfte min kæreste brød op med mig, og jeg er løbet af det, fordi jeg kaldte ham med navne, og jeg fortrød senere at bede om undskyldning, bad endda ham flere gange, men han accepterede aldrig det værre, vi har et 2-årigt barn, som han næppe ringer til tjek på hende, men han snyder mig sidste år, og jeg fandt ud af det, men det var stadig svært for mig at tilgive ham, men jeg gjorde det, og jeg snydede aldrig med ham, jeg gav ham nu plads, ingen kontakt overhovedet, vær venlig at hjælpe juni 17, 2015, 3:21 am elyssa jeg skal bare håndtere det. i det væsentlige er det ham, der afbrød det og ikke vil (1) e-mail, jeg sendte ikke sms, opkald - noget. han var altid følelsesmæssigt lukket ned med mig, havde aldrig engang noget at sige, jeg følte mig så alene selv med ham. når jeg når ud og udtrykker, hvad jeg har brug for i relshp eller ting, jeg har følt, eller bekymringer, behandler han mig også med stilhed. nu er det som om vi aldrig engang var sammen. men jeg er ikke en stalker eller en besat, jilted elsker. Jeg skal bare justere som solita igen, 'det er bare mig', minder jeg mig selv om. 46 og aldrig gift - for det bliver jeg aldrig. Jeg var chokeret over, at denne fyr endda ville have mig, for jeg var blevet overset og ikke elsket hele mit ensomme, uheldige liv. men det er virkelig farligt at være sammen med en partner, der undgår dit eget følelsesmæssige udtryk selv og grundlæggende negerer dine bekymringer og behov. Jeg kan ikke være sammen med nogen sådan, men vigtigere kan jeg ikke have, at relshp trives. så hvorfor være der? 28. april 2015, 00:06 abbie min kæreste på over et år brød op med mig over tekst for mindre end en uge siden, og nu er jeg deprimeret. jeg har brug for ham tilbage! 26. april 2015, 15:43 vicky samme skete der med mig, han begyndte at trække sig væk, efter at vi havde en fantastisk aften. ingen opkald / ingen tekst jeg rakte ud for at se, om han var ok, han sagde, at han havde brug for plads, så jeg lod ham være alene. han sendte mig en tekst, der undskyldte sin opførsel og sagde, at han var et dårligt sted. Jeg var høflig, og efter et par dage spurgte jeg ham, hvordan han var, sagde han, at han gik på et par datoer, han forsøgte at kæmpe, men jeg havde det ikke. Jeg lod ham være offeret, da han påpegede alle de ting, jeg gjorde for at få ham til at føle sig hjørnet og presset (hvilket ikke engang var sandt efter min mening), jeg undskyldte og ønsket ham det bedste, og efter at jeg gjorde det, sagde han, at jeg var altid god mod ham, og han fortjente det ikke, men han ville fokusere på sin karriere og sig selv (vi er begge professionelle voksne) jeg så ikke noget af dette. sandheden er, at hvis han ville være sammen med mig, ville han & det samme for dig, hvis du konstant stiller dig til rådighed, ved de, at de kan behandle dig alligevel, de vil, og du vil være der; stige over det og gøre dig selv glad, du fortjener at være sammen med nogen bedre, ligesom jeg ???? 31. maj 2015, 07:31 mpumi jeg hv dateret dis guy @ wrk det har været 3 år nu, jeg elsker ham, jeg kan ikke slp, jeg kan ikke spise.pls hjælp mig 19. april 2015, 07:16 mislykkedes omg, denne artikel fik mig til at græde .. Jeg har været utilfreds i lang tid, og da jeg mødte min kæreste på 2 år dumpede han mig for en uge siden. Jeg sørger stadig over smerter og prøver at finde ud af, hvor jeg skal bo, fordi vi boede sammen og begge flyttede ud, fordi forholdet er forbi. Jeg vil ikke gøre dette til en lang historie, men jeg er virkelig trist og læser denne artikel fra eric charles tak for den inspirerende sandhed, og det hjælper mig med at komme mig og bevæge mig, lære at elske mit liv og mig selv igen, før jeg virkelig kan elske en mand som den måde, jeg vil. 16. marts 2015, 18:13 rinthiya hej Jeg har været par med min kæreste næsten 2 år. nu dage skifter han meget klar. han sagde, jeg skal følge alt, hvad han sagde, og jeg kan ikke tale tilbage, hvis han også sagde noget dårligt. engang vil jeg tale hvad jeg føler, så vil han bruge vulgure ord og vil sige wana bryde op med mig. han vil straffe mig på så mange måder. ondt mig så meget. han vil behandle mig som en hund. men jeg kan ikke forlade ham. han vil bede ham. hvordan går jeg igennem dette. hvad skal jeg gøre. Jeg kan ikke glemme eller forlade ham, men han behandler mig som et skrald. 7. marts 2015, 07:54 sarah hej, vær venlig at hjælpe mig. Jeg var forelsket i nogen. han elskede mig også. vi var i et forhold i 3 år. nu brød han op med mig ved at give familie en intercaste-grund. Jeg smsede ham konstant og bad ham om at komme tilbage i 6 måneder. men han er ikke villig til at komme tilbage og skælde på mig som noget andet. Venligst foreslå mig noget. hvad skal jeg gøre nu? Jeg kan ikke leve uden ham. Jeg vil have ham tilbage. hjælp mig 21. februar 2015, 06:35 abbasi kates liv stopper aldrig, hvis nogen har forladt dig eller dumpet dig. u skal alwyz huske aldrig tigge efter nogen at elske dig eller blive wid u hvis han virkelig elsker u aldrig engang behøver at spørge ham, lad mig ikke ... kate hvis du jager din kæreste vil du ikke kun jage ham væk, men du vil lande dig selv dybere ind i følelsesmæssig fortvivlelse. vi har alle været der - hjertesorg er en del af kærlighedsspillet ... .. vi har ikke tid nok i livet til en vægt, så nyd et levende liv. elsker dig selv n gå videre.Jeg ved, det er svært vi .. betragter abbasi 8. februar 2015, 15:40 mig mænd er trængende, undeceive og kontrollerende freaks, der hader en kvinde, der ikke vil give dem alt, og hader hende mere, når hun gør det. som med at beslutte dig. Jeg hader min eks, fordi han var et freaking barn, jeg hader hvor uvidende han er og egoistisk, og jeg er så såret og så irriteret, jeg ville ønske jeg aldrig har nogen af ​​hans minder. Jeg hader tanken på ham, at mænd er slemme og grusomme. january 31, 2015, 9:19 pm tracy btw she was a friend of a friend and i broadcast a lime i was havin down the islands and my friend wanted to bring her so i agreed. i didn’t intentionally hurt him but b4 him i was with a girl for over a year. my boyfriend began changing his password and talking to chicks from social media and lying about it to me so i began feeling a little insecure. ???? now i miss him a lot and wish i didn’t put myself in that position. january 20, 2015, 5:37 pm tracy i made out with my boyfriend ex girlfriend and i really don’t know why i did it he said i did it to get back for him because he use to be lying to me about talking to his exes which i had absolutely no problem with i only had a problem with the lying and the deciept, he always plays perfect but i always come out rea to him and let him know what’s up, i think i may have really did it to feel better cus he was hurting me emotionally and when he’s stressed he would hit me, i know that’s not the kind of person u wanna be with but he changed me a lot and i’m still in love with him. i really want to get back with him january 20, 2015, 5:31 pm alii if my ex bf is my best friend and now he has feeling for someone else but he still want to b physical with me what it means? december 21, 2014, 10:58 pm kelly hi.i was in a relationship with my ex for 3 years. he dumped me 8 months ago. it was my fault why we ended cause i pushed him away. i didn’t mean to. i had problems and i explained to him my problems. well i did all the begging and none stop texting. he now has changed his number.hes not on any social media. i asked him if he was happy and he said no. he just puts a brave face on every time he collect our son. i asked if he still loves me but never ever gets a . i told him last week face to face that being a part has done me the world of good. he said oh thanks and it hasn’t for him? .i emailed him yesterday asking if he wants to be apart of mine and the children life. he said honestly not yours. when he comes around to pick our son up we get on so well. he won’t stop staring at me. he looks up and down me. he told me he has feelings for me but that’s it. he told me he hates being away from the children. i offered him back. plus to share christmas with us. he didn’t say no he just said he doesn’t drink anymore. and christmas is for children not the adults. so i am really confused. i want him back and so does my children. help please december 17, 2014, 6:07 am vicky_sara hi eric, it’s the best advice. stop chasing man and if he really likes you and want to have you, he will move the earth to get you. never lose your dignity and respect for a man who treats you like an option in their life. frankly my opinion is when your ex comes back after a few months don’t ever accept him back because the tendency of him leaving you again is almost 99%. all woman deserve men who treat them right, think about it. december 10, 2014, 4:20 am bri hi i am just wondering my boyfriend has been going through a rough time. he asked for space and i backed off completely giving him as much as he needed. a week later we started talking again and he broke up with me and said it was because i have my life in order and he doesn’t, that i don’t need his baggage. i was really hurt, but i told him i would wait on him and that once his life was fixed up i would still be here. he said he loved me and that he was sorry. my questions are a) why did he break up with me if he loves me? b) what did i do wrong? c) how long will this last? december 6, 2014, 1:28 pm jill ladies why would you want a guy back that dumps you? he has just said he doesn’t think you are worth his time, his feelings, and his future. why would you want a guy that thinks your not worth it? you can do a lot better, and someone will come along that wants you. don’t chase men let the right guy come to you that is the one who will love you most. you shouldn’t feel like you are were not enough for him the rest of your life, because as much as you want to forget he broke up with you it will always be in the back of your mind. just move on he is not worth it pick someone who actually wants to be with you, and not put you to the side for when he can’t find anyone else. november 28, 2014, 5:26 am latonya hi, i’m in this situation i ask my boyfriend does he really want to be with me he said yes then he said why do i always ask when i know that he does but he got upset then said ” you know what you can just go ahead” then hung up he hasn’t answer any of my calls or texts what should i do & what does this mean i need answer thank you november 27, 2014, 12:03 pm jill he either thought you were finding an excuse to break up with him, or he used what you asked as an excuse to break up with you. either way it is rude to ignore your feelings, and not respond to you. i believe you can do better, and my advice is don’t respond back or bug him with calls. if you pretend like it didn’t hurt you. chances are he might come running back that is if he really wants to be with you. if not wait for the right guy to come along that actually thinks your worth his time, feelings, and future. there are to many men in the world to never say never. if your feelings have been hurt by this guy. sometimes things like this can be a blessing because there are reasons it wasn’t meant to be. he could have really turned out to be a jerk, and not worth it anyway. november 28, 2014, 5:43 am fairycake it means he is getting really sick of you being needy. sorry to say that because i know how mean it sounds but that is how a guy will feel if you keep asking him that question. were you asking because his actions make you feel insecure? he has wandering eyes? he seems too mysterious and maybe cheating? if his actions tell you he adores you then asking him if he really wants to be with you can seem very rude and like you don’t trust him. if you have already said sorry and explained why you asked then let him cool off, stop contacting him and if he contacts you never say sorry or ask him that question again. be happy with you, believe in you and fill your life with enough great moments and hobbies, that a man doesn’t become the be all and end all of your existence. that’s what keeps a man around. december 11, 2014, 7:47 am natalie goodwin hey eric this is my situation, i need help! my next-door neighbors very good friends of mine their brother recently divorced two years ago as well as myself comes over to their house every weekend just about for family get-togethers. after one year of seeing him next-door, we became friends, and then one night we became intimate. after that he was so completely into me and wanted to be in an exclusive relationship with me. so we did. every friday through sunday he would come over and stay at my house, he lives in delaware i live in new jersey. things are great and we did couple dating with my friends, we had really good times. we did have two situations however in which i got mad at him for minor things and we didn’t talk to each other for about a week. afterwords he text me and told me he loves me and wants me back but i can’t get mad at him over little things. things went back to the way they were between us and things were great. then i started chantix, a medication to quit smoking cigarettes. after eight days on it all we did was argue i seem to be upset over every little thing my friends family and everyone stayed away from me. one night i text my boyfriend something awful and called him a bad name. he called me told me goodbye and have a nice life. the next morning i stopped taking the chantix, and text him that i was very sorry. he replied back that all he wanted was to be friends. i was very hurt and text him back things i never should have. i text him i never want to see him again or hear from him. then i try calling him i left several messages he wouldn’t answer his phone. i finally called from my work phone and he only answered because he didn’t recognize the number, i cried to him and told him i was sorry and that i was nasty because of the chantix and i stopped taking it. he did not care, he just said we are over about four times. i asked him if he still loves me and he wouldn’t answer i was crying and upset he told me he would call me back so i hung up, but he never did. three days later i had my best friend call him and they spoke. she asked him if he was 100% sure that we are over, she said that in a very calm manner he said yes he’s 100% sure. he stated that prior to the chantix we had two other situations in which i got mad easily. he said this was the third time and three strikes you’re out. i still would not believe that we were over and continue to text him how much i love him. he finally text me back and this is what he wrote: (1/2) natalie i blocked you on my phone and when you get this message you’ll be blocked again. i cancelled your tickets to zip lining and there will be no (2/2) creamy acres i will never see you again good bye and good luck . that was 17 days ago and i never spoke to him again. i’m dealing with the hurt and the fact we are over because it was my fault. he still comes by to my neighbors on the weekends, he parks his car on the other side of their house so it can’t be seen from my house. whenever i go outside he is never out there. i’m trying to deal with this the best i can. i’ve been keeping busy with work and even going out on dates with other men, but no one compares to him. i still love him so much. is there anyway or anything i could do to get him back? if so i would try anything. thank you for your help!! november 8, 2014, 7:19 pm ridhiva i once loved a boy! more than anyone else in mylife. i propsed him many times..he rejected as he didnt want to maintain a relationship.he made me sure that he will never come back.having this fact in my life i accepted it and after 3 months i found a new person who loves me more than anyone else. i was alone and he showed me everything and i feel for him. now, im in a happy relationship with him. after 7 months, this old person comes back and says he wants me back desperately.i cant lose my bf and i cant lose this person. both have great effect in my life. now,what should i do? if the point comes whom do i love! i donno…i seriously cant answer this question. i cant ditch my bf and i cant lose my frd. november 2, 2014, 2:55 pm fairycake snap out of it! tell him, “too little, too late”. you say you can’t lose your boyfriend. you love him? warning!!! if he even gets a hint of you talking to the ex he will freakout and you will have lost a man who picked you up when you were down, gave you his heart and has given you 7 months of his life while the loser ex slept with every woman he could find. now he hears you are happy and he has learned he isn’t so fantastic. some woman has dumped him. probably because he was a creep to her just like he was to you but … yeah – go ahead – pat his little hand and make sure his feelings aren’t hurt. you will lose them both and your self respect and you will feel like dirt. tell him to whine to one of his other exes – there would be plenty! december 11, 2014, 7:54 am jk i got this guy who really loves me he spend so much money on me he loves me he tell me he loves me he do so muchi have tried so hard to love him back but i’m just not fit i don’t want to make a fool out of him i tell him that i don’t feel the same way is he to you help me how do i love someone who can be so valuable is so good to me how can i love him back just as much and i don’t have the same feelings as he do october 27, 2014, 11:15 pm leann question…i have felt very strong chemistry with a coworker for over 3 years now. company policy states you can’t date within the company and we are both play it by the rules people, plus he is a vp. we were on a business trip; one of our coworkers paid the extra money and was in first class but the vp and i were sitting together in the next to last row of the plane (each row had just 2 seats) he was in the aisle seat. before we took off i said we lucked out its not a full flight, there were 4 empty rows around us.. i thought he would move to have his own row to himself but he didn’t. it was a late flight so it was dark, i took a chance and cuddled up to him. he allowed me to but didn’t really respond. he let me cuddle the entire flight, more than just resting my head on his shoulder. before we parted he said he had a great trip with me. i’m wondering of its possible that he is into me? he is shy but of he is in to me i would be happy to discuss this with him and be willing to look for another job. please tell me your thoughts. october 23, 2014, 12:06 pm gussgreat dated ex for 7 yrs we were buying home together and i left suddenly w/o contact until 6yrs later! i was the one that reconnected and he was thrilled, he has since had a move in girlfriend & a child w/ her. he wanted to meet and “really connect sexually” i did just once 3 mo after reconnect.it was wonderful because i had not been w/ anyone else in the 6 yrs we were apart! he has txt me everyday since say he don’t sleep w/his live in or want her there & the only thing is they’re just roommates to raise the child. i finally told him i would like to start fresh and adore that he has a child, he say never know what could happen and i suggested still meeting and he said thats a great start, it is weird going back to my to the house and seeing all my things still in the same place they were when i left 6yrs ago! i think i’ve been honest w/my intentions and so has he, but i really would like to hear form a mans point of view on this please. september 30, 2014, 12:43 pm delyth is getting ur ex back same as getting a guy u was dating for three months . has anyone had success in getting a guy u was dating back after he ended it . please need your help x august 21, 2014, 11:48 am cnagirl eric .. my issue goes like this i’ve been going out with this guy..off n on for about two years he’s been a taker..everytime. i go out i hafe to pay for everything.. i spent 3000 on him n also about 3 weeks ago he wanted to go to the casino i told him just 200 that’s all i can do he took 1200 ..ive been giving getting nothing in return n when i mean nothing i mean nothing…..plesse help august 17, 2014, 6:49 pm d is this seriously? look, leave this guy immediatly. a man is not supposed to be a taker, not from females anyway. a guy should be able to provide for himself, not to be taking it from a woman. this has weak and coward spelled all over it. i wouldnt even want my girl to have spent 3000 dollars on me, i want it to be the other way around, or 50/50 at the least. and sorry? he asks you for money for the casino? well okay, we all want a little fun every now and then, you promised him 200 dollars which is fine (even though a man should know not to gamble with money he doesnt have) and he took 1200!? i mean, not only is this guy lacking any realism and knowledge of how to manage his funds, he even cheated you out of a 1000 dollars. now what if he won? would he give you your 1200 back? probably not. girl, i am a dude myself, and i know we can be pretty hard to live with sometimes, but this doesn’t sound like a guy at all. this sounds like a douchebag. a spineless, leeching creature without any self-respect. not to be rude or anything or hurt your feelings, but ditch this a-hole. he’s not worth your love and attention. you should be out living your life like you want and maybe end up with a man worthy of the title. again: a man doesn’t take from a woman what a man is supposed to be aquiring by his very nature. is it wrong for a woman to pay for a man? not at all, but the scales should be balanced, and no true man would want the scales tipping over in his favor on this issue (as in, knowing deep down that your girl spent more on you then vice versa) dump this leech, and if this spineless blob of jelly ever get’s mad at you for telling it the way it is, tell him d. said hi, and let him email me for some advice on proper manity. peace, and i hope you find what you deserve. september 2, 2014, 8:43 am t moving on there is a break up after a 10 year relationship and 2 year engagement. the ex says he moved on but…wants to be friends and have ties. doesn’t want to be enemies? will miss me? still calling me babe? what is he really saying? may 8, 2014, 9:51 pm michelle this article is the best article i’ve read in a long time. i really wish i could share it on facebook, send it to my email, heck, even make it the backdrop of my computer as a reminder! july 23, 2013, 10:41 am jesse ok so i’m confused about something. you say that if you chase a guy after you break up it will make him want to run. my ex broke up with me claiming he doesn’t deserve me-he lost his job, doesn’t know what he wants to do with his life, says he doesn’t want a relationship, but that i’m the greatest girl he’s ever known. we had a couple weeks of no contact then we became fwb (he contacted me). i suggested it thinking it was just going to be sex, but he snuggles. he wants me to spend the night. he gives me tender kisses on the head/back. he holds my hand while watching tv or in bed. he keeps in physical contact with me all night when i spend the night. so i’ve had a couple moments where i was a big drunk and became emotional. i expressed to him that i loved him. he did say it back, but then claimed he couldn’t see being in a relationship. or i’ve texted him trying to get him to explain why he doesn’t have feelings for me but he’ll snuggle, etc. he has never run away. he always asks me over again-and the last time it wasn’t for sex. it was just for snuggling, watching tv, and spending the night. why have i not made him run away then? may 26, 2013, 12:04 am vic my ex said the same thing, only i begged for a few weeks and did nothing but piss him off even more. now he will occasionally talk to me like we’re ‘pals,’ and after all of the single talk he now has another girlfriend. one who seems, interestingly, a lot like me. he’s been seeing her since about a month after we broke up. i know better than to interfere.. i’m already the ‘crazy ex.’ i haven’t seen him since the day before he dumped me, over the phone in the middle of an argument, classy. and he’s uninterested in changing that. letting it be for now.. the lines of communication are still open but i will not initiate. besides, he’s turned into quite the drunk, and a cocky one at that. not sure what happened, but i hope i.run into the new him eventually so i can see just how immature and unattractive he really is to me. but until then, my mind is just going to convince itself that he is adonis and i ‘need’ him. yuck. end rant! :) february 15, 2013, 12:27 am aj hello, i need help i feel worthless, unattractive, unwanted. i was dumped 2 weeks ago. i was in a one sided relationship, i gave and gave, he took and took. i foolishly thought that if i showed love and respect i would get it in return. when i tried to communicate my concerns to him, it always got routed to i was being negative, difficult hard to get along with. my response to him was oh when i speak up for myself i am being negative,and hard to get along with. i told him take the mindgames somewhere else, and the truth was i was not needy enough. his past relationships have been with women with children already, different fathers, rough situations. i guess i was too boring for him. help, because i know i am not perfect, i feel used, abused, and thrown away for being to strong. he ssem to take pleasure in hurting me. because he tried the manipulative bull, oh i want talk to you are see you for awhile, if you keep that up. thats when i ask for a kiss or a hug. a real psychopath, is what i think help. i want my confidence back. i want to know how to love again. please respond, i am hurting here on this christmas day, eyes filled with tears and a broken heart. december 25, 2012, 11:52 am t hi, my boyfriend of 8 months decided two weeks ago he was moving out. we had been living together for 2 1/2 months. he had been kicked out and needed a place to live so we moved in way to fast. we had decided that even though he was moving out we would stay in a relationship. then one week ago, he got mad at me because i was following his friends on instagram and he made the comment that i was stalking him and he couldn’t get away. he made himself single on facebook and that is how i realized we were broken up. we text a few times but i mainly have been ignoring him. this last weekend i hung out with many different friends and had a good weekend. last night he contacted me to come over and watch movies. i broke and went over. we had a nice night but he kept bringing up on of my particular male friends. making it sound like i had been on dates all weekend. i denied it, but said i had been hanging out with friends, and not only that he broke up with me. later, he was in a bad mood. i still love him and did try to cuddle and kiss him. he pushed me away. i ended up staying over, (we didn’t do anything, in fact he was in a bad mood) and in the morning he was even more moody. i tried again to be in a good mood n joke around and try to kiss n cuddle with him. he was not interested. jeg er så forvirret. why did he invite me over? was this just a power trip to see if i would actually stop over? i failed to mention that he is going thru massive depression, he is unemployed, he can’t see his kids, his car got smashed up. so i think alot of his issues have to do with that. (i also saw that he has been contacting another girl on instagram asking her to go shoot photos with him etc., i did mention that and he was all annoyed saying well i went to dinner and drinks with this other guy) i still love him, and support him. i feel that i have now ruined any chance of getting back together with him. do you have any advice? thanks, t october 30, 2012, 2:03 pm lola i need advice my boyfriend of 2 and half years just broke up with me out of nowhere i went back to uni for a month before he decided he doesn’t want to be with me anymore its such a shock because it came out of now where. he says he doesn’t love me anymore and that he doesn’t feel anything for me and that he’s not happy. he’s been working really long hours and says that work has changed him that its made him tougher ( whatever that means). we are great together and he’s done this before to me when we both went back to university and he decided he didn’t want to be with me then but begged me back after, its a long distance relationship. i don’t understand him he says he just wants to be friends and see how it goes its weird because he’s been taking me out for dinner he spent 60 pounds for one meal . is it because he’s unhappy in work and is believing he’s unhappy in his relationship some one please help me i’m heartbroken. october 30, 2012, 12:41 pm jaydise i’m seeking advice, my boyfriend and i have been together for 2 years he dumped me 3 months ago, while broken up we seen each other a couple of times he even spend my birthday with me, his choice. the break up was because he found a picture of me and another guy. i took the picture with this guy whom is a football player and i thought it would be cool. i never told my boyfriend about it because i didnt think it was that serious. he got mad at me and i confessed that i not only took a picture but i did go out to eat with the football player. my boyfriend was hurt and then soon forgived me. then things got sour when his buddies found out, he than broke it off for good, he said he needed space. i’m aware of my mistake and i been suffering since our break up i love him so much, and want him back. at the beging of the break up i did all the no no’s… i cryed and begged him. i noticed the more i cryed and begged the more he would tell me to move on. its been a month and a half since with no contact. all of a sudden i get a texted from him asking how i;m doing etc… he asked can he come over my place where we lived together. i let him we finaly got to talk about what happen because we never did. i asked him could he see us getting back together in the future his respond was ” its possible” i didnt persue the conversation. we watched a movie and took a shower together like the old days, and only a shower. he’s been texing me everyday since than saying how r u? i kind of wanted to give him a taste of his own medicine and not like he did to be when i was hurting over the break up. help me do u think there still hope? h even told me he has a friend he’s been talking to that crushed me. but he’s the one whose looking for me now. i want him back what should i do. he looks into my eyes and tells me he misses me and home. i’m confussed. help october 15, 2012, 7:20 pm jenny i need some advice ! i feel rediculous posting on here…. i have dated the same guy on and off through college and seriously the past two years. over the past year my father cheated on my mom an i had to be the one to tell her . needles to say this lead to allot of family stress and pressure for more of a serious commitment for my boyfriend. we dot figt often but i wet through a very hard time emotionally and being able to trust men. after having a mental breakdown tellig my boyfriend how unhappy i was i ended our relationship in a poor fashion. he later informed me that he planned to propose on two months. this was the man i then and still want to marry. he now says that after i kicked him out and ended things the way i did he can never lie again like he did before …. but we have not gone more than three days without talking and tell eachother regularly we want to e together … he goes back and forth almost weekly on whether or not he wants to be with me after what happened and of he ever wants to be married …. is this all just a sign, did i jut hurt him,or something i should try to work through ? july 20, 2012, 9:02 pm eder u are good erik, now i know where to start..thanx a lot! july 16, 2012, 5:51 pm keyah thank you eric :-) datz the best advice i have ever looked for after my breakup.its been 6 months and he never tried to contact me. better to forget him. you are so true if a guy doesn’t want a relationship he would never look back. love you eric :) june 29, 2012, 5:14 am eric charles thanks. . love you too… but i think we should start seeing other people. ;) june 29, 2012, 1:05 pm keyah yea…:) june 30, 2012, 10:32 pm a broken spirit i would like to thank you for posting this. it is a shame i did not stumble upon your insight sooner. it has been one month since my fiancé left me. he wants to make a new life for himself; one that does not include me. the first week i was really strong. my friends were very proud i was handeling it so well. i finally cracked when i came home to find all his belongings gone. since then i have resorted to excessive amounts of drinking and crying in his pillow. about a week ago i called and begged him to come home. i said i was sorry for taking him for granted and being disrespectful. i also told him a did a lot of reflectioning and i saw flaws in myself and our relationship. i told him i am fully committed to building our relationship into something new and better and becoming a better person myself. he then said that he wants nothing to do with me and he never really wanted to marry me. he told me he could never love me because he hates me and he would rather find love somewhere else. i have never experienced something so painful as this. what sends it over the edge is the pain is being administered by the one person i trusted and loved more then anyone. i google searched “i want him back,” even after all this. i found this article and it was the first time i felt some type of hope. it is brutal and honest. it is exactly what i needed – the truth served straight. you have a gift and i would like to thank you for sharing it. may 23, 2012, 8:28 pm wreck thanks for the advice eric! i wished i read this article earlier and wake up to what my ex told me. i met my ex and immediately we got swept into this emotional whirlwind relationship that both of us had never experienced before. we had this instant connection. both are terribly sacred but he took the initiatives to lead us further into the relationship. still i don’t think i completely overcame being scared and kept him at a distance, because verything was too perfect. four months later, he said there were things he needed to figure out and learn more. he wasn’t happy and he can’t make me happy if he wasn’t happy, which was understandable. he told me to go date other people while he figured it out. i was upset and took that as a sign of him wanting to break up and broke off the relationship. a mistake, i’ve regretted ever since. before this relationship, i’ve always thought of myself having all 3 criteria you mentioned. but the break up showed otherwise. i couldn’t let go of losing him and went into this dark pit for months and damaging our relationship further even after his confirmation and reconfirmation that he didn’t want a relationship now and is enjoying his single life to invest in himself. after reading your article, i realize i needed to work on myself as much as he said he needed to work on himself. i wish i could go back and do it differently. it’s now been 7 months and i’ve come to a full circle realizing what i need to work on and hopefully the next relationship or if he ever comes back to me, we wouldn’t be facing the same problems again. thanks again for the the great advice! april 22, 2012, 8:38 pm great advice thankyou again for some great advice… it has been hard to admit but i have finally realised i’m not ready to be in relationship. i have never been the sort of person who has needed another person but half the reason why nothing has worked out so far is because i have been scared and because i wasn’t ready to be in a relationship as i wasn’t happy with myself, or my life or felt full but now i’m working on that. now every guy i met i tell them i want to have friendship. after another broken heart and broken spirit i can finally see the positives…an a part of me wishes i could of done things differently but another part is happy i finally woke up and saw what i needed to fix within myself so when the next guy comes along i’m happy either way and now i can become a better person or a better version of myself april 10, 2012, 4:24 am eric charles awesome. glad to hear my stuff helped. . and yes, bringing a better version of you to the equation is going to make your future relationships better. we ourselves are the only factor we can change in how our relationships work – we can’t coerce or change the other person. so taking control over yourself and being the best you that you can be is key. . held og lykke. april 10, 2012, 11:53 am rachel hi eric, i love your advice. i think you are very insightful and explain complicated issues in a very easy to understand and inspiring way. a couple of years ago i dated a guy for 4 months and we broke up after he slept with a girl and lied to me about it. i became an emotion, desperate mess and the relationship ended. then five months later he contacted me and said he missed me and he wanted to try it again, so we did but it was more like infrequent booty calls that stopped when he started seeming someone as a girlfriend. i hit rock bottom when i showed up at his house drunk asking him to make out with me on his porch as his gf was sleeping in his bed! after that i stopped contacting him completely. i joined a dating site and went out with a few guys i liked, but i was not in a healthy enough mindset to be dating and this weird desperation and neediness eventually came through with the internet guys i met. i realized something needed to change so i arranged to work out of the country for a month. this really helped me get my life and my self-esteem back on track. during this time my ex broke up with his gf and emailed me saying, i know you are out of the country but i really want to see you again, blah blah blah, mainly sexual stuff. after ignoring a couple of these messages (and honestly not even thinking about him) i replied saying i want to see you too, mainly because we do have a great sex. i got back to the states and instead of the expected late night booty calls, he took me out on nice dates and then we’d have sex. i still kept my guard up and never felt obsessive or desperate at any point, just had fun in the moment and had zero expectations from him. everything was going fine. then, this past week he said, “i’ve been thinking about you, i told my parents about you and i want more than this, i want to seriously work at a relationship…” i didn’t feel overjoyed to hear this because i still had reservations about being with him, but i said i would like to try to make it work because i do like hanging out with him and feel like he is a good guy over all, plus i feel like i am much less needy than a few months ago. since then he has been calling me every day to talk on the phone for an hour (and i hate talking on the phone, ha). here (finally) is where my question comes in! i had plans for dinner with my friend last night, and he said, “give me a call after dinner and we can meet up.” in my mind this = plans. so i called and texted around 8:45 pm, with no response. it is now early the next morning and i am fixating on his lack of response which makes me worried i am down another path to neediness and desperation. did he break a promise and do i have valid reasons to be upset? or am i putting myself in a needy mindset that i need to get out of!! thank you very much for all of your advice; i would love to hear a podcast or radio show from you! march 9, 2012, 6:27 am fal i have been dating this guy that i met on an online dating site for a month and a half now. he is sincerely wonderful. he has issues with being affectionate and is keeping me at arms length. we have not yet had sex but have been affectionate in other ways. he knows i like him and that i am not in it to play games and he says he likes me too “otherwise he wouldn’t waste his time” we both go to school full time and work full time so we see each other once a week and decided we want to take it slow. my issue is, how do i get him to loosen up a little bit? we still have not spent the night together. we have seen each other about 8 times. ive gone to his house plenty of times, he came over once (as i have roommates and he lives alone). he has not yet taken me out and i am not sure what to think of the situation. i am also not one to beg or chase anybody. any good advice? march 6, 2012, 2:53 pm