Spørg en fyr: Han snydt, men siger, at han stadig elsker mig, skal jeg tro ham?

ashley okay, så det har måske ikke noget med dig at gøre ... men noget at gøre med hende, hvilket igen gør det om dig og noget, hun havde at tilbyde, som du ikke gjorde. alt, hvad mænd gør, er at forsvare deres ret. tag aldrig en mand tilbage, der snydt dig. han værdsætter dig ikke. 25 juni 2019, 16:08 jackie solgt rådgivning. wow for en gangs skyld. tak, jeg er enig 100% meget smart forfatter 17. september 2018, 00:32 ktia for det første ... og dette nævnes ikke .... når en partner snyder ... jeg vil gerne dem testet for eventuelle seksuelle sygdomme. havde han følelser for personen. hvis hun var 'intet' for ham ... hvorfor ville du have en mand, der har så fuldstændig tilsidesættelse af nogen? hvis sex ikke betyder noget for ham ... det betyder ikke noget med dig, ellers ville han ikke have snydt. miste ham 29. april 2018, 19:38 prinsesse mylow efter et år er gået, kan jeg stadig ikke tilgive ham og helt sikkert ikke kan sætte dette bag os. efter godt et år sammen startede min b / f en affære med en pige, der var halvdelen af ​​hans alder, og er et kvarter. han fortæller mig ikke noget om forholdet. dette generer mig meget. på intet tidspunkt troede jeg, at han snydede eller var involveret i en anden, da vores forhold var meget kærligt og sex var rigeligt og fantastisk. i løbet af hans snyd var jeg væk 4-5 nætter om ugen i måske 5 uger. da jeg var hjemme oversvømmede han mig med kys, kæler og opmærksomhed. vi forlod aldrig soveværelset de dage, jeg var hjemme. det var lidt mere lidenskabeligt og kærligt og derefter almindeligt. Jeg tænkte ikke noget på det, da det bare var mere, ikke anderledes end det sædvanlige. Jeg følte mig mere ønsket, mere elsket og mere nødvendig, da han nogensinde fik mig til at føle. Jeg er ikke sikker på, hvor lang tid det gik, men i et par uger alligevel fortalte folkene i bygningen mig om det, og jeg konfronterede ham. han indrømmede at have sovet hos hende, men intet mere, vi brød op i en måned eller to, og vi har været sammen igen i næsten et år nu. han er meget stolt over at være sammen med mig og fortæller alle, hvor meget han elsker mig og ønsker, at jeg skal være hans kone. her er mit foruroligende problem med alt dette. hvorfor? hvad? hvordan? skete det hele. Jeg kan ikke ordne, hvad der er ødelagt, hvis jeg ikke ved, hvad der er ødelagt, og hvordan det brød. jeg kan ikke tilgive ham, hvis jeg ikke ved, hvad jeg tilgiver ham for? og hvorfor er den store ting for mig. hvorfor lod han dette ske ikke kun én gang, men igen og igen og var følelsesmæssigt involveret i hende. hvordan kan han sige, at han elskede mig og stadig elsker mig? dette vil han ikke og har ikke svaret. én gang kan forklares, men de næste 100 gange vidste du, hvad du lavede som dag, ikke? en gang med en pige er lidt mere tilgivelig, end at blive helt involveret med en anden pige. det er det, der er forvirrende, og det er det, der giver mig al denne hjertesorg. det gør ondt hver dag uden at vide hvad jeg har brug for at komme over og har brug for at tilgive ham for det. nogen forslag til, hvordan man kommer forbi dette? eventuelle forslag vil være nyttige tak. 5. april 2018, 14:38 rosita Jeg var i et forhold 3 måneder, og jeg fandt ud af, at min kæreste snydde, han sagde, at han ikke sagde, at hans venner sagde, at han gjorde det ikke nej hvem jeg skal baleave jeg er ligeglad med + elsker ham så meget jeg vil give ham en chance men jeg ikke nej han ringer til mig og fortæller mig at han vil have mig tilbage at han er ked af at jeg fortalte ham hvordan jeg føler jeg ikke nej hvad skal jeg gøre 21. juni 2017, 06:59 belinda jeg finder en masse af disse artikler nyttige, men ikke døde. min partner og jeg har været sammen i 4 år. begyndelsen var fantastisk, vi talte om ægteskab og børn osv., men det sidste år eller deromkring har været bizart. Jeg fandt ud af, at han redigerede mine indlæg til ham på facebook helt eller ignorerede dem, ikke noget problem, jeg hader fb. men så fandt jeg ud af, at han talte med andre kvinder og fortalte dem, at han ikke elskede mig og havde absolut ingen intentioner om at gifte mig overhovedet. det er underligt, fordi jeg har mødt hans familie, og mange af dem tror allerede, at vi er gift. jeg er forvirret. og han har været meget fjern i mindst 6 måneder. vi taler aldrig rigtig uden at diskutere, hvilket altid er vendt om mig, jeg elsker ham, men ved ikke hvad jeg skal gøre. også, jeg er ikke så sikker på, om han bare ikke hang så længe, ​​fordi jeg måske har været stabil for ham. jeg har lyst til at falde sammen 11. juni 2017, 19:02 ktia hvorfor vil du dele en seng med en person, der fortæller andre kvinder, at han ikke gør det ' ikke elsker dig. det er ikke meget sexet. jeg er meget ked af dig 29. april 2018, 19:34 glkghaz min bf på 2 år, har snydt mig 3 gange indtil videre .. han har ikke sex , han blev ikke forelsket, men han bliver involveret i dem .. send dem pæn tekst, mens han bare flirter og betyder ikke det .. jeg fandt den 3. for nogle dage siden .. når jeg beder om at bryde op græder han og sværger på hans børns liv han snyder ikke .. jeg ved ikke hvad jeg skal gøre mere .. jeg føler løjet for ..jeg er trist .. forrådt og jeg føler han ikke er min mere, men han vil ikke engang lade mig tænke på at forlade btw vi arbejder i samme firma 27. oktober 2016, 8:39 am kaleiah min tidligere kæreste, vi har været på og af for evigt omkring et år, men denne gang var det anderledes alle de andre gange det var fordi vi ikke rigtig har talt, men denne gang havde han sex for første gang med en af ​​mine venner, og jeg elsker stadig ham, og den anden dag sagde han, at han stadig holder af mig, og at han var flink og prøvede at kramme mig og jeg er bare forvirret fi skal tage ham tilbage eller ikke plus en af ​​mine exs fætre som mig, men jeg ved ikke, om jeg kan lide ham, for jeg har stadig følelse for min eks, men jeg ved heller ikke, hvordan jeg kan tilgive ham, hvis jeg tager ham tilbage For jeg ville gerne, når vi først havde sex, jeg ville have, at det skulle være første gang for os begge, men nej, han sov med en af ​​mine venner, jeg er så trist, men skulle jeg tage ham tilbage, ændrer han mig, jeg ved det ikke var vores tredje gang at bryde sammen, jeg ved ikke, om han vil gøre det igen eller ej, jeg ved ikke, om jeg kunne klare det, men skulle jeg tilgive ham eller prøve ved lejemål ???? 26. april 2016, 10:41 pm felicity vi har været i et langdistanceforhold med min kæreste, og jeg fandt for nylig ud af, at han har været dobbelt dating med mig med en dame fra hans kvarter. jeg elsker ham stadig, han har været meget støttende, og mine børn kan lide ham, hvad gør jeg, vær venlig at hjælpe 15. april 2016, 8:30 am kaleiah tale med ham om det, og ønsker han dig eller hende? 26. april 2016, 10:42 pm monika min kæreste i næsten 2 år snydte mig med en luder. Vi havde en kamp, ​​jeg havde bedt ham om at forlade, det handlede om, at han var uklar og uhøflig. godt han gik talte ikke hele dagen eller natten. næste dag talte vi til middag og bowling. kom hjem, han havde drukket, så han slog ud. Jeg blev nysgerrig, jeg fandt ud af, at han havde ringet til 4 forskellige kvinder på disse escortwebsteder, men jeg antager, at ingen svarede. da jeg tjekkede hans bankkonto fra den morgen, havde han trukket penge. at han ikke havde på sig. da jeg vågnede ham for at spørge, hvorfor han havde kaldt disse kvinder, forsøgte han at benægte det, blev sur og sagde, at han rejste. da jeg holdt ved ham, indrømmede han, at han ringede til dem, men ingen svarede. men jeg spurgte, hvad gjorde du med de kontanter, du trak i morges. han vidste ikke, hvad han skulle sige, da jeg spurgte ham, om han havde sex med en af ​​dem, sagde han nej! Jeg sagde ok ikke med dem, så med hvem? endelig indrømmede han, at han valgte nogen på hjørnet. Jeg var så væmmelig over ham og såret. Jeg ville aldrig troet, at han ville gøre dette mod mig. han sagde, at han troede, at vi var over, siden jeg havde bedt ham om at tage afsted dagen før, så han begyndte at drikke og ryge. ”For at få ham til at føle sig bedre” forsøgte han og forsøgte at undskylde, at han græd, ligesom jeg var. men jeg er meget såret, jeg bad ham om at rejse for godt. at hvis han virkelig elskede mig, ville han aldrig have gjort det, han gjorde. han sagde, at han kun var der i 5 minutter, så gik han tilbage til sin mor for at brusebad og gå på arbejde. Jeg tror de 5 minutter. fordi jeg fulgte hans tidslinje og det var majestætisk. har jeg ret, en mand, der virkelig elsker dig, vil ikke hente en luder for at få sig til at føle sig bedre. 20. marts 2016, 18:45 danni smith ægte kærlighed snyder ikke. hvis det gør det, elsker det ikke. det er virkelig så simpelt. det kan sige, at solen er grøn, det kan sige, at stjernerne er lavet af marsipan, og det kan sige, at den elsker dig. men hvis det gjorde det, ville det aldrig ønske en anden, aldrig give dig muligheden for at blive såret og aldrig give dig det forræderi, du aldrig vil glemme. det er virkelig så simpelt. snyd ændrer det snydte liv for evigt og ikke på en god måde. 25. januar 2016, 16:09 laura hej, mit navn er laura, jeg er på et meget desperat punkt, jeg føler at dette er bunden for mig og jeg har ingen steder at henvende mig, jeg håber, du kan hjælpe. Jeg mødte min ridder på min fødselsdag i marts 2010, og jeg vidste det øjeblik, hvor jeg mødte ham, at jeg måtte lære ham at kende. der var noget i hans øjne, der fortalte mig, at han følte det samme. efter dating (lang afstand) flyttede vi sammen og i de næste 2 år havde vi en smuk pige. vi var en familie. noget vi begge ønskede, men inden for 1 år gik tingene værre, og vi kunne ikke længere bo sammen. han flyttede tilbage til sin hjemby, vi gik igen igen, men elskede stadig hinanden dybt, der var aldrig nogen tvivl og bestemt aldrig nogen tillidsproblemer. da vi gik af og på, var der 1 off, hvor han skal jeg sige dateret og så videre med en kvinde. Jeg blev ødelagt, da meget lidt tid var gået (2 uger), og det syntes at være alvorligt. Jeg græd og fortalte ham, hvordan jeg stadig elskede ham, og at jeg følte mig forrådt, og vi regnede det ud. smerten over, at han havde ligget med en anden, hang stadig dybt. endnu en kort pause gik han tilbage til hende igen, og jeg mistede fuldstændig min følelse af sikkerhed (tillid), han besluttede på egen hånd, hun var defianately ikke for ham, så vi gik glade fremad sammen. snak om ægteskab og opbygning af et nyt hjem osv. skåret i jagten, ikke? han snydte med hende, mens jeg var i hans hus og boede i længere tid end normalt. han gik bare til hende. han forsøgte at benægte det, men beviserne var for tunge. han siger, at han elsker mig og kun mig. det er overstået. vil altid være trofast. tanken om ikke at have ham i mit liv gør min værdiløs. jeg har ingenting. og jeg elsker ham så meget. vær venlig at hjælpe mig! Jeg når de gyldne år, men jeg har lyst til en ung pige med hendes første hjertesorg. Jeg har allerede læst dine e-mails om forhold i 2 måneder. (troede aldrig, jeg ville bede om dette råd) jeg ser frem til at høre fra dig p.s. undskyld for den lange version 3. oktober 2015, 12:41 jessica han elsker dig, men han elsker dig ikke nok. Jeg er i det samme varme vand som dit, men jeg fandt ud af det. 15. oktober 2015, 20:43 sumana min kærlighedshistorie er næsten den samme som dig. og jeg har ingen løsning. Jeg er stadig i et forhold med min kæreste, men jeg kan ikke stole på ham. 5. december 2015, 15:24 tiana min kæreste på 5 år havde endelig indrømmet, at han ødelagde vores forhold, da jeg formodede, at han snyder mig. Jeg ved ikke, om jeg kan komme over det faktum, at han trak det i 1,5 år, efter at vi har været sammen i 3,5 år. han følte sig stresset og presset gifte sig med mig. sagen er, jeg følte allerede, at han snydede og allerede fandt et brev fra den pige, han snydede med, på et kort, hun sendte ham. sexet forsegling af godkendelseskort og i det hældte hun sit hjerte ud af, hvordan hun er så velsignet over at have ham i sit liv, og han er vidunderlig, så slutter det med jeg elsker dig ... jeg konfronterede ham med det, hvordan kan det muligvis bare være en co -arbejder, der ser ud til at være virkelig forelsket i dig? fortalte du ikke hende, at jeg eksisterede? at du har et engageret forhold? medmindre han ikke var virkelig engageret på det tidspunkt? han ødelagde os rigtig dårligt, og det gør så ondt som at mistænke og finde sandheden. Jeg vælger at helbrede alene med Guds hjælp, omgiver mig med gode, positive mennesker og undgår at komme tilbage til den store store smerte. han virkede oprigtig, han vil gøre sit hårdeste for at vinde mig tilbage, fordi jeg er den for ham, og han indså, hvor dum han var. Jeg kan være kontrollerende og påtrængende, men han vidste, at fra begyndelsen af ​​vores forhold ... beder jeg troede, at når helbredelsen er afsluttet, at jeg ikke vil føle en lille chance for vrede, bitterhed og gengældelse. Jeg vil arbejde med ham, fordi 5 år investeret i forholdet er lang tid. men det er også Guds vilje, og hvis vi virkelig er beregnet til at være, så vil vi være det. 5. juli 2015, 02:21 kristen for nylig begyndte jeg at hænge ud med min eks for seks år siden, vi blev gift for 10 år og har et barn. i de sidste 9 måneder ville vi narre. Jeg ved, at jeg kom rigtig stærk, og da han ikke viste sine følelser tilbage, kunne jeg blive nøjeregnende. efter at have skubbet nogen væk ved at være nøjeregnende, kan du vende det rundt ved at vise dem, at du ikke rigtig er sådan? 23. marts 2015, 21:03 princessdi hvad skete der nogensinde med dig og din bf? er du stadig sammen og snyder han igen? den samme nøjagtige ting skete med mig !! omkring 7 måneder i mit forhold snydte min bf mig med en gammel ex, der tilsyneladende forfulgte mig på fb og var fast besluttet på at ødelægge vores forhold. for at være retfærdig var jeg lidt stand offish i forholdet, fordi jeg lige var kommet ud af et 12-årigt ægteskab. min bf sagde, at han rodede op, fordi han troede, jeg ville bryde med ham alligevel, for jeg ville ikke se ham så meget. så alligevel vil jeg meget gerne vide, om din bf faktisk var oprigtig, fordi min bf også græd og sagde, at han ikke fortjente mig. Jeg tilgav ham efter et stykke tid, og jeg er sammen med ham nu i kirken og prøver at finde ud af det. han bad mig gifte mig, men jeg sagde nej, fordi jeg er bange for, at han snyder igen. så hvorfor er jeg sammen med ham så ugh idk jeg elsker hvem han er, jeg hader bare at jeg ikke kan være i hans hoved og vide hvordan det hele gik ned. folk ødelægger og snyder ikke igen, men w guys er svært at vide. hvis du fortæller mig, hvordan dit forhold er nu, ville jeg være taknemmelig for at vide det. selvom du ikke er sammen med den samme fyr. tak! 5. marts 2015, 19:55 ester min kæreste snydte mig lige efter to måneders forhold, og jeg tilgav ham og for nylig valgte han en pige foran min egen bror, og jeg er meget såret, han vil ikke lade mig gå, fordi jeg sluttede dette forhold, fordi det ikke er det værd, hjælp mig stress og depression dræber mig 25. februar 2015, 05:28 maggie lavede den tåbelige fejl at tilslutte sig en fyr for tidligt og et par gange derefter. Jeg har kun været omkring ham en gang uden at have sex. Jeg har siden da aflagt et løfte til mig selv om kun at have sex med en mand, jeg virkelig elsker. Jeg er gået næsten halvandet år uden nogen seksuel interaktion og fokuseret på mig selv. under hele processen har fyren fra fortiden bedt om at hænge ud igen, selvom jeg har fortalt ham om min overgang. er det korrekt, at jeg antager, at jeg sandsynligvis kun er en af ​​få piger, han har haft en forbindelse med, og han tænker, at hvis jeg endelig siger ja igen, at vi vil have sex, eller kunne han virkelig være ægte og vil lære mig at kende? 23. februar 2015, kl. 10.00 rohit al min tillid n mit håb er på herren, jeg begynder al min belønning men ikke til en dødelig mand. 9. januar 2015, 07:44 erica min kæreste har en forlovede. Jeg gik ud for at spise med en fyr to gange, og han siger, at jeg snydte, som jeg aldrig har sovet med nogen anden. Jeg elsker ham, og jeg vil ikke forlade det. hjælp mig med at få ham tilbage. 2. januar 2015, 13:27 stha hej gutter, jeg hjælper mig, jeg var single i ganske engang og nu har jeg mødt en anden fyr, vi bliver forelsket, og jeg fandt ud af han fik en mor til sit barn, selvom de ikke giftede sig, og jeg spurgte ham .. han siger, at han stadig elsker mig, og han ville ønske, at han så mig for første gang, jeg ved virkelig ikke, hvad jeg skal gøre. ..fordi hans kæreste fortsætter med at sende mig massagebehandlinger, der truer med at tryllebinde eller dræbe mig, hvis jeg ikke holder mig væk ... plz hjælper fyr, jeg gør ikke hvad jeg skal gøre, men jeg elsker ham virkelig og jeg troede, at han var den 7. december , 2014, 23:33 samantha hold dig væk fra ham enkelt og simpelt, du får kun mere smerte til at forestille dig, hvad han fortæller hende, og hvad han gjorde mod hende, der er en katastrofe, der venter på at ske det er for kompliceret, lever dit liv og vær glad, du har måske været alene et stykke tid, men du møder et par idioter, før du møder nogen, der er god for dig, gem din, jeg elsker dig for en mand, der virkelig elsker dig og ikke er i så mange problemer, fordi de problemer bliver dine, og du vil ikke have noget negativt i dit liv 26. februar 2015, 10:34 xolelwa hej jeg er 3 måneder gravid og jeg har været sammen med denne fyr i 3 år og 6 måneder. Jeg har en fornemmelse af, at han snyder mig, fordi han har snydt mig mere end en gang, og han fortæller mig altid, at han elsker mig, og jeg er hans eneste, han foreslog mig endda, men jeg kan ikke acceptere det, fordi han ikke og sover ikke hjemme og bruger sin vennetelefon til at foretage opkald til sine veninder. hans familie fortalte mig, at de så ham med en kvinde, men han siger, at det ikke er sandt. Jeg har set underlige ting, men han undskylder, jeg ved ikke, om han elsker mig mere. Jeg er træt af hans snyd, men jeg elsker ham, hvordan kan jeg håndtere disse. Vær venlig at hjælpe mig!!!! 3. december 2014, 06:23 dale Jeg har bare et spørgsmål. Jeg har været gift 21 år og fandt ud af, at min mand snyder mig. det er forbi, og han elsker mig og siger, at han vil arbejde på vores ægteskab og gå til rådgivning, men han er bange for, at han vil såre mig igen. Jeg er ikke sikker på hvad det betyder. han siger, at han altid ender med at skade de mennesker, han elsker. han siger, at han føler sig så skyldig og ikke kan tilgive sig selv, men han gør intet for at prøve at vise mig, at han elsker mig. jeg ved ikke hvad jeg skal tænke. Jeg kan tilgive ham og vil have ægteskabet til at fungere, men jeg har ikke tillid til eller tro på, at han vil have det samme, når han fortsætter med at sige, at han ikke nogensinde vil såre mig igen. men er bange for, at han måske. 19. november 2014, 12:43 linda jeg har bare brug for et svar, hvad skal jeg gøre nu, han snydte 100 gange, selv nu sin snyd, i næsten 13 år nu, Jeg tilgav ham altid og elskede ham, vær venlig at hjælpe jeg er træt af dette ... han respekterer eller tænker ikke på mig og tvillingerne (piger) Jeg vil gå videre med mit liv, jeg ved at Gud aldrig vil forlade mig 11. november 2014, 06:09 sønderknust hold gud. slip taberen. omg..he snyder 100 gange og snyder stadig? han elsker dig ikke, han misbruger dig. du er i en voldelig situation. indse, at du bliver misbrugt mentalt og følelsesmæssigt af ham, gå til butikken, køb nye dørknapper, lås ham ud, læg hans lort i haven, og for en gangs skyld i dit liv føler du friheden til at fortælle ham at gå af. I kvinder er bedre end dette. og du kvinder, der snyder med fyre, der er taget, åh der er et specielt sted for dig, og det er ikke himlen. 29. januar 2016, 09:32 kakali jeg kan godt lide rådene 11. november 2014, 04:27 linda jeg har været sammen med min forlovede i 13 år og 7 måneder, og vi har 6 år gamle døtre (tvillinger) jeg ved virkelig ikke hvad jeg skal gøre, han kan ikke stoppe snydt mig med forskellige piger, han benægter altid sin kærlighed til dem , selv nu snyder han stadig, men han fortæller mig altid, at han elsker mig, han vil være sammen med mig og børnene resten af ​​sit liv, jeg er forvirret, deprimeret, han misbrugte mig følelsesmæssigt, jeg vil forlade ham, men jeg stadig elsker ham 5. november 2014, 15:46 jaye Jeg har været sammen med en vidunderlig fyr siden april i år. vi mødtes oprindeligt online i december og chattede ofte, men tog tingene langsomt for at lære hinanden at kende. tingene har været gode, vi går ud, vi har private øjeblikke et par gange om ugen og snakker hver dag. så en dag, intet ... jeg havde tilbragt dagen før med ham, alt var i orden, da jeg gik. vi talte på vej hjem og fortsatte med at skrive tekst, indtil vi gik i seng. allerede næste morgen blev han tavs. Jeg sendte besked god morgen og tænkte, at han sandsynligvis bare havde travlt på arbejde, og fortsatte med at komme på instagram, hvor vi følger hinanden, da jeg bemærkede, at hans billeder manglede, men kommentarer og lignende forblev. spurgte jeg, og han svarede simpelthen ”ingen instagram mere”. dette vedrørte mig, så jeg spurgte simpelthen, om han var ok, nej igen. dette var usædvanligt for ham. så jeg kiggede lidt nærmere på tingene og opdagede, at han ikke fulgte og blokerede mig. sociale medier er og var aldrig en stor ting for mig, jeg nød bare at se på billederne i hans liv og omvendt. Jeg lod ham vide, at jeg vidste, og spurgte ham høfligt om det. hans “behov for plads”…. hvordan vågner en mand en dag op og beslutter, at han har brug for plads ?? han indledte flertallet af vores chats, da han var foran mig. nogle gange begyndte jeg, det hele hang an. Jeg er ikke den type kvinde, der skal kende hvert træk, som min mand foretager, jeg stolede på ham, han var på samme måde, beskyttende, men behageligt, ikke på nogen måde anmassende. så hvad skete der for at få ham til at have plads ?? 13. september 2014, 14:16 manisha sumani ys kære give ham en sidste chance. jeg tror kærlighed fortjener altid en sidste chance 31. juli 2014, 1 : 58 pm jessica hej, jeg fandt lige ud af, at min bf (ex) har ligget og snydt på mig lige siden begyndelsen af ​​vores forhold .. først var alting fantastisk, vi kom sammen fantastisk brugt tid sammen, kommunikation var god, jeg troede det var .. jeg har aldrig set dette komme. i starten var han lidt jaloux, n krævende, men vi ordner det. Jeg begyndte at bemærke en ændring i ham, da han mistede sit job og måtte flytte tilbage til sine forældres hjem. det var da han blev rigtig fjern, færre tekster, ikke flere opkald, altid undskyldte for at tilbringe tid sammen med mig, selv sex var nede på 1a uge, det var da mit sind begyndte at blive vanvittigt af tanker. Jeg vidste, at han virkelig elskede denne ex gf på 3 år, men er ikke som om han altid taler om hende, jeg husker kun som to gange, at han sagde, at hun snydte ham, og det er derfor svært for ham at stole på igen. så jeg spekulerer på, er han med hende eller prøver at komme tilbage med hende ... jeg ville konfrontere ham, men vi ender bare med at skændes. han fortsætter med at være fjern fra mig, det kom til det punkt, hvor han bare forsvandt 2 uger, ikke hørte fra ham for ikke at bakke noget. så jeg stopper bare med at sende sms'e til ham n fortsæt med mit liv, selvom jeg gjorde ondt n mistet..men jeg havde en tarmfølelse, at han havde en anden .. han kom tilbage ca. 2 uger senere, jeg opførte mig som ingenting i første omgang og ignorerede ham n hans tekster n kalder, men jeg gav selvfølgelig ind, jeg elsker ham .. han fortalte mig, at jeg savner dig, og jeg er ked af, gav mig aldrig et svar på, hvorfor han forsvinder .. dumt af, at jeg fortsatte med at tage ham tilbage, han var god i et stykke tid det samme som hvordan vi i første omgang .. lige nu ville han kun prøve at se mig 1a uge, ikke weekender, som før .. og jeg bemærker, at han altid har brug for en tjeneste fra mig. som jeg gjorde for ham .. brugte han mig bare ”er det, jeg troede .. fortalte han mig, at han elskede mig, n ikke ville tabe mig bare for at holde rundt? .. Nå, jeg fandt massage på (twitter) af ham og hans eks, siger kærlighed, og han siger min pige dette og min pige det. han udsatte mig aldrig derude sådan. det gjorde så meget 2 år med ham, jeg gjorde for ham, hvad jeg aldrig har gjort for nogen .. nu da alt kom ud, konfronterede jeg ham, jeg fik stadig ikke svar fra ham, vi argumenterede bare for, at vi begge sagde ret sårende ting .. Jeg gør stadig ondt, og jeg elsker ham stadig, trods alt fandt jeg ud af, at han gjorde med hende, at han aldrig gjorde med mig .. lige siden kampen ikke har hørt fra ham. og jeg planlægger ikke at kontakte ham .. jeg føler mig så fortabt og såret .. er det mig? hvad laver jeg forkert? andet forhold, og de snydte begge .. 6. juli 2014, 22:07 bethany hej. for nylig fandt jeg ud af, at min kæreste på fem år har snydt mig. ikke kun knuste det mig fuldstændigt, men denne pige, han snydte mig med, de har haft forhold før. Jeg synes, det gør mest ondt, fordi jeg har lyst til, at de skal have en slags forbindelse, og det får mig til at føle mig så usikker. at føre op til snyd var den værre oplevelse, jeg har haft. vi flyttede ud alene for seks måneder siden. han mistede sit job kort efter, og jeg var nødt til at hente et andet job for bare at holde mig flydende og betale for begge vores regninger. han mistede begge sine forældre, hans far ikke engang for to år siden, så han har store depressionsproblemer, og jeg har nu lyst til og indser, hvordan jeg skubbede ham væk på et tidspunkt, hvor han mest havde brug for mig, fordi jeg bare havde ondt af, at han sad derhjemme hele dagen, mens jeg slog min røv. det begyndte at lyve for mig, og så fandt jeg ham med piller. han begyndte at hænge ud med de forkerte mennesker og gøre de forkerte ting, og jeg føler skylden, fordi alt, hvad han ønskede, var kærlighed fra mig, og jeg gav det ikke til ham. Jeg elsker denne mand så meget, det gør ondt i hele min krop. Jeg fandt lige ud for to dage siden, at han havde sex og hang sammen med en anden pige. han siger, at han forsøgte at udfylde et tomrum, men nu fortæller han mig, at han er forvirret og ikke ved, hvad han vil have. Jeg vil ikke have noget mere at være sammen med ham, for selvom han snydte, har jeg lyst til, at jeg er nogle, hvad jeg skal bebrejde. det har virkelig åbnet mine øjne for hvor meget jeg elsker ham, og at jeg er villig til at give alt. men i hans sind føler han, at det hele vil gå tilbage til, hvordan det var, og han er også bange for at komme videre med mig og arbejde på tingene. Jeg har brug for rådgivning. Jeg har ligget i min seng i to dage og græd og beder mit hjerte om, at noget vil give, og han vil gerne være sammen med mig igen. lyder jeg skør? 29. maj 2014, kl. 10:15 bridget ok, så jeg har været sammen med min kæreste i cirka 2 år nu, og han har snydt mig 4 gange, og han løj hver gang han gjorde indtil jeg fik ham til at tilstå. i ca. 3 måneder har han ikke snydt mig og er lidt sprød over alt hvad han gør og spørger mig altid, om det er okay for ham at gøre noget så simpelt som at tage en lur. Jeg har blandede følelser for, hvordan han har det med mig, selvom ... han bad og græd så hårdt, efter at jeg truede med at bryde med ham, fordi jeg følte mig så såret, og jeg blev deprimeret og alt, og jeg er ikke helt sikker på, hvordan han har det med mig. Jeg siger, at det er ok, at han snydte, det er tidligere, men selvom det ikke er ok, siger jeg, det er fordi jeg hader at høre ham græde for nylig, hvis der var et nøgen billede af en pige på sin telefon af hende helt 'bare' og jeg har ikke nævnt det for ham endnu, at jeg ved om det .. kunne nogen give mig råd ..? Jeg er dybt urolig og deprimeret over dette ... 4. januar 2014, 02:10 kim to ord. Forlad ham. efterlad hans liggende, beskidte, lave, dumme røv. han snydte dig 4 gange ... det er uhyrligt uacceptabelt. du fortjener så meget mere. denne fyr er bare latterlig. selvom du er bange for at forlade ham, skal du finde mod til. han dræner bare livet ud af dig, og det er ikke, hvad et forhold skal være. også hvis du ikke er sikker på, hvordan han har det med dig. det siger tydeligt noget. når du er i et ægte kærligt forhold, skal du vide, hvordan din partner føler for dig. du vil føle, at han elsker og holder af dig. hvis du er forvirret, og du ikke ved, han føler for dig. så viser det, at han ikke ... mit råd. Forlad ham. Jeg ved, det kan være svært, men du skal gøre det bedste for dig selv, ikke ham ... og stol på mig. du finder helt sikkert en bedre fyr derude. denne fyr er ikke dine tårer værd, din tid, dit liv. 1. april 2014, 3:40 am ashley jeg er enig, lad ham være 18. november 2014, 23:21 cj virker som om forfatteren af ​​denne artikel eric charles selv er et snyderi. 16. december 2013, 07:26 eric charles hvor får du det indtryk? 16. december 2013, 19:03 kate jeg synes, at alle os damer skal snyde tilbage på vores mænd, se hvordan de kan lide det !!! fortalte allerede min kæreste, at fordi han snydte syv gange i vores fortid, fik jeg lov til at gå ud og have syv en natstand, hvis jeg vil, og han skal acceptere det fuldstændigt. mænd har brug for at sætte deres plads på. beskidte dyr. 17. december 2013, 04:51 eric charles min godhed ... nogen lyder vred. ;) 17. december 2013, 12:07 kate kaute haha ​​... jeg havde en kvindes 'øjeblik'. ingen mand bør undervurdere en kvindes magt. især efter at de har såret hende;) 18. december 2013, 05:16 kate Jeg er ked af, men jeg må sige, det er virkelig dårligt råd. hvorfor skulle den person, der er snydt, gøre alt for at gøre tingene bedre? det er tyr. jeg er blevet snydt flere gange, og hvorfor i helvede skal jeg gøre alt for at gøre tingene bedre? den, der gjorde det, skulle, hvis de så desperat vil have dig tilbage. 28. august 2013, 8:40 kate det er to måneder siden jeg skrev det, og jeg må sige, det bliver værre og værre hver dag. Jeg er meget deprimeret og ønsker mig ud af mit beskadigede femårige forhold. min kæreste har ikke snydt i over et og et halvt år, men jeg kan stadig ikke tilgive, jeg føler dybt had for ham. Jeg har fortalt ham dette og sagde, at jeg ikke var ansvarlig for hans handlinger, han mistede mig hver gang han gjorde det, og det var den beslutning, han tog ... endelig. han valgte disse kvinder frem for mig. hvis det var den gang, kunne jeg muligvis komme videre og tilgive, men ikke dette. han vil ikke lade mig gå. Jeg er fanget, han prøver at være kærlig, og det gør mig syg. Jeg har fortalt ham, at jeg ikke vil have ham mere, men han vil ikke lade mig være i fred. desværre kan jeg ikke fysisk bevæge mig væk fra denne mand, da han er far til min søn. argh ... jeg hader mænd ... den bedste ting at komme over en snyder er at hade dem. husk dig selv konstant på, hvad de gjorde, til alle detaljer og stol på mig, du vil ikke have dem mere. 17. december 2013, 4:45 am eric charles “at holde fast i vrede er som at gribe fat i et varmt kul med det formål at kaste det på en anden; det er dig, der bliver brændt. ” ~ buddha #citater 17. december 2013, 12:08 kate kaute meget sandt, tak 18. december 2013, 05:17 emma Jeg har været med min forlovede for 6 år og 15 uger siden, jeg fødte vores smukke baby pige. vores forhold var, hvad jeg kun kan beskrive som perfekt. vi var glade og så forelskede, selvom det var hvad jeg troede. For 2 uger siden fandt jeg ud af, at han var tilmeldt et svingende sted og begyndte at chatte med 2 kvinder, hvoraf den ene bor nede ad vejen fra os, han gik to gange til hendes hus, en gang for 7 uger siden for sex og derefter igen for 3 uger siden for en wank . alt imens han skulle have været på arbejde. efter at have fundet ud af, at jeg konfronterede ham, sagde han, at der ikke var nogen anden, og jeg forestillede mig det, han svor endda på vores døtre liv, at han aldrig havde hørt om denne kvinde, selvom jeg havde set deres tekster tidligere den aften. he continued to lie all the way through so o text them both pretending to be him on his work number, that’s when she dropped him in it about having sex, in the end he came clean and continues to say he don’t no why he cheated and why he went back the second time as i am everything he’s always wanted and he loves me more than ever. what i find so hard is i really thought we were happy plus he has his new baby that he sees every day and it didn’t stop him from risking everything for sex. he had been texting and ringing this women since i was 8 months pregnant, he’d come home and hold my tummy to feel our daughter kick but the whole time he was texting, ringing and then meeting this woman. he says i’ve done nothing to cause him to cheat bit i just don’t no what to believe. does he love me and will he do it again? plus how can i ever trust and believe him again……. any advice will be greatly received. thank you august 20, 2013, 3:10 pm pink24 oh my gosh you poor thing. i can’t believe this happened to you. i do hope the writers of the site give you some much needed advice. although i’ve had my own share of relationship issues, none of them even come close to what you must be feeling–a child, newborn at that, is definitely a game-changer. having said that, one thing i do know to be true in my thirty-five years of living is that trust is a very difficult thing to regain once it’s broken. i do believe people make mistakes, and they should be given second chances, if they deserve them. deserve is the key word. from what you’ve written though, it doesn’t sound like he made one mistake. he made a thousand mistakes that turned into a behavior with a little bit of almost cruelty. it’s sad. and i’m so sorry for you. i do want you to know that not all guys are like that. sounds cliche, but it’s true. there are many good people out there looking for someone to be good to. good luck to you and i hope you make the right decision for you and your baby. i can tell you that my parents have been married for over forty years, and it’s because of watching their honest relationship all these years that i have my wits about me in this crazy world. give the same to your child! and most importantly to yourself! take care august 20, 2013, 3:55 pm damaris my story may surprise a lot of you. i am 20 years old and i got married at 18. right away from that i’m sure many will say it was a mistake and if i woulda known all this was going to happened i would of definitely waited. i been with my husband for about 3 years now and i recently found out he cheated on me with multiple women at the beginning of our marriage. judging from the advice i just read i am sure he didn’t really know what he wanted and just wanted to make sure he had a “for sure” thing. many may call me stupid for remaining to be in my marriage and continue to work it out. but as stupid as it may sound i truly believe he is not that type of person to do that. i am still destroyed about everything that has happened and i can’t lie i do think about what they did even when i know he’s trying to make things better. he confessed everything he did to me and has so far done everything in his power to give me that sense of security back into our relationship. i allowed him to vent to me and tell me everything with me remaining to be in a somewhat calm matter, i could have easily walked away and left everything i have ever well what we have ever worked for in this marriage. it’s still early in our marriage for me to say that he will continue to do what he did. but my insight now is to swallow my pride and see where my heart takes me. i can’t tell you i am completely happy because i am still progressing and my wounds are still fresh. but i have faith that this marriage will work as long as he continues to be the way he is now. i will say that as soon as i don’t feel that comfort and security that is when i will walk away. i have no problem being alone nor have any self of steem issues. my only problem right now is that i’m broken and slowly healing. people need to remember that good people make mistakes no matter how bad they are. my husband had a problem of what he really wanted and me being his wife/best friend helped him realize what is worth fighting or throwing away. we love each other and in the end that’s all you really need to move forward. i will do everything in my power to make this marriage work as long as he puts in the same effort. i may be still very young but as impossible as it sounds i know what i want and i know what i deserve. july 17, 2013, 5:24 pm kirsten hi, i have just found out that my long-term boyfriend has cheated on me. we are both twenty-one and in college (same one). he first did it this past january and three times this summer when i was across the state. he had sex twice in these four instances. he finally confessed. i am in the initial shock phase. i want to say i hate him. and i do partially, for what he did to me. i am deeply hurt, but i still love and care for him. he was (is?) my best friend. i am asking for space. i am unsure how to continue, but reading your comment and this article has helped. like you, i will be okay if i am on my own. i just have so many conflicting emotions, i am unsure how to carry on. and there is a fear of being judged for staying with him because i know the backlash that that specific decision would receive. i am hoping space and time will give me enough self-control to talk to him to find out why this happened and then what to do. august 17, 2013, 12:57 pm mary i been married for 5 years,recently i found out that my husband been cheating on me,he still denies it and tells me that he loves and have a future with me,im just do not understand why he lies to me and wants to stay with me,please help thanks… october 25, 2012, 1:32 pm jessica this is the exact same thing i am going through and we have been together for 5 years also. i know deep down that he recently cheated on me but i try not to freak out about it although it hurts so much just to think about it. he tells me that he loves me and that i am the woman he wants to be with for the rest of his life but i feel really hurt just thinking about this other girl. i know this other girl was just a fling for the moment but i still can’t believe he would do this to me. i don’t want us to break up but i feel like he isn’t sure what he wants anymore. please help!! i’m going insane! november 6, 2012, 3:30 pm pink24 hi jessica, i’ve been there. all i have to say is–there are guys out there who don’t cheat. i swear, there are. but they have other issues–like mild ocd, people pleasing, choosing his friends over you all the time–just to name a few. if you can deal with any of those, then i say get rid of his ass. it’s not worth thinking about how he feels, or why he lied to you, or whatever. you’ll never really know. the only thing you do know, the one thing you will ever know for sure, is how you feel. it’s all about you. what can you deal with? a guy who makes out with other girls? or a guy who may be a little ocd? make a choice. trust your gut. because if you feel he’s unsure about you, chances are, he is. and who wants that? five years is tough to walk away from, but it’s way better than ten. good luck :) november 6, 2012, 6:48 pm kim great advice, i like that! november 10, 2013, 10:50 am ahl i been dating this guy for a year and a half now..i love him!but it seems,throughout our relationship,there’s always been another girl!and i alwys broke up with him when i found out..and he’d let me,then continue with the other girl,and make her the girlfriend..but after a month or mayb weeks,he starts texting me,telling me how much he loves me!and we end up getin back togetha,until he cheats again!now we’ve broken up,and he’s started texting again!i love him and he says he loves me,but i dont want to go back and be cheated again!!does this guy even love me..could it ever work between us or we always going to keep going back and forth…and we have talked about it,he tried to change,but it did not last..he ended up cheating again!is this even a relationship or he’s just playing with my feelings? october 2, 2012, 4:20 pm marry same thing is with my life but my husband, told me this before marriage and i said ok. now he meats new girls but he still keeps every girls as his girl friend. he has only lost those girls who are moved to different city. every week he goes to any of his girlfriend, and also tells me that today he went to his first girlfriend to give her sexual pleasure. but he still loves me from his heart, and so do i . november 2, 2012, 6:04 pm wonkawonkawoe i’m sorry, but this is not helpful. i’m going through a period of intense drama with a long-term boyfriend i just realized was cheating on me and it’s very zen to be able to draw back from the situation and “not take it personally” but are you serious? how do you not take it personally when some asshat cheated on you and then lied to you about it for months to keep you in his life? how do you make peace with that kind of disrespect?? september 19, 2012, 4:15 am eric charles first, sorry to hear that happened to you. that really sucks. . here’s the thing… i completely understand how angry and hurt you probably feel right now. there’s nothing worst than being betrayed by someone like that. . so if that just happened, i expect you and 99.999% of people on earth would be extremely angry and upset for a while. . fair enough. but how long is long enough to be pissed off? a week? a month? a year? a decade? the rest of your life? . it’s understandable to feel what you’re feeling right now. in the long run, there comes a point where you have to ask yourself if you want to keep feeding on the pain or do you want to let it go. . doesn’t mean that you condone his actions. doesn’t mean you think he’s a good person. . when do you want to let go of the pain for yourself and take your life and happiness back? when do you want to stop letting his actions be the architect of your life, your mood and your view of relationships? when are you going to be willing to spit out the poison? . if this is fresh and still intense, then just move through the emotions. and when you’re ready to let it go, know that it’s as simple as stopping yourself from feeding into it. . that means you: stop dramatizing the memory. stop talking about it. stop thinking about it. stop revisiting it in your head. . emotions have a momentum and magnetism to them. and if you feed into negative feelings for long enough, the negativity becomes a habit, which becomes a worldview, which drags your mood and attractiveness *down*… . do you really want to let this “asshat” be the architect of making your life bitter, angry and repelling to others? i doubt it. . give yourself some time and then come back to what i said here. for now, if you were my friend in real life i would take you out, get you a drink and let you vent as much as you needed. it’s fresh and it’s ok to feel what you’re feeling as long as it’s in the interest of moving you through the emotions and getting you past it… not coloring your worldview forever. . good luck. september 19, 2012, 3:28 pm kristine thank you. that was the best advice i have heard so far. march 1, 2013, 8:47 am terri i found out my man of 3 years was cheating by the find your phone app. he was out and i was at home bored and we both have the same phones and i thought for giggles i would find him on the find your phone app and send him a message that says “i found you” well i got more than i bargained with when i saw that he was driving in a place where he shouldn’t have been and i watched him and i saw he was in a place for a while that i didn’t know. but i knew there was a hotel in that area, so i looked up the number for the hotel and called it. i asked for him and they put me through to his room. i just said hi, then, i can’t friggin believe you. he came home and told me nothing had happend “yet” which i believe because i called not long after he got there. he came home, very mad at me for “checking up on him” and i knew who he was with. we had a big fight and the next day, i could not go to work and slept all day in my work clothes in my bed, just curled up. he came home that night and said that he was very sorry and that it was all his fault and he owns it. i sent him a letter the next day telling him how much he hurt me and that i couldn’t believe he would do this to me, but because i was so much in love with him, i needed to forgive him and just get over this. for the next week, he told me how sorry he was. i needed to get passed this and i needed it to go away. it has now been 4 months and we are in a very good place. he knows what he did, he knows he hurt me and i know it won’t happen again. we don’t speak of it and i don’t bring it up. if you are going to forgive, you need to let it go and just move on. if he did it again, i would be gone. if you can’t forgive or let it go then you need to move on because it will just eat away at you. june 3, 2013, 11:25 am kia thanks.. this was awesome advice. i choose to move forward let go of the pain. july 17, 2013, 12:11 pm terri i am glad to hear you choose to move forward and let go of the pain. it is an awful thing to hold on to. my man and i are still together and in a very good place right now in our relationship. i will never hold it over his head or bring it up if we are fighting. the best thing to do if you truly love someone is forgiveness. now i am not saying that you should always forgive, absolutely not. if he keeps doing thing then you have to decide that this is probably not the best scenario and it would be time to say goodbye. but for the first indescretion, if you are truly in love with this man then forgiveness should come easily. let it go and move forward. i wish you all the best and hope that you can let it go and it works out for you. july 17, 2013, 1:17 pm thao great advice just what i needed to hear ! it helps to hear from a males perspective june 1, 2014, 8:05 pm lona my boyfriend is cheating on me theres some1 i think its a girl cuz i saw msg from the same num on his phone she said” baby where r u baby can i call u now ” after that i told my boyfriend he told not for me i love u so much nd i won’t leave u for another girl after that i told him give ur phone he became nervous nd angry he didn’t let me see his phone after a week he saved the number he put his friend name ‘guy’ nd i know the that this guy not her he moved to another city nd he never answer in front of me i asked him why he told me cuz i dnt want to see him nd he hate him !!!!! when i ask him he become angry ‘ why u don’t want to trust me i love u i’ll never love some1 ill never talk to another girl i can’t live with out u !!! i don’t know wt can i doo plz help me i love him a adore him nd i can’t b without him noo way i want a solution plz helpppp asap september 12, 2012, 4:23 pm sam i have been with my boyfriend for 2 years we have a 3 month old baby .. when i was pregnant he cheated n i took him back n after my daughter was born he startd seeing someone new n i found out cause she text him… hes extremly jelious im only alowwed to go out when hes with me and hes always asking if i cheated on him when he knows i dont. i have seen many messages he sent to other woman but he just gets mad n leaves if i bring it up…what do i do? august 14, 2012, 1:06 pm charlotte right when me and my boyfriend of 9 months started seeing eachother i was seeing another guy at the same time before hand and still carried on texting him after my current boyfriend asked me out. however i stopped everything with this other guy and my boyfriend knows about it and we were fine for a few months untill i had some girl tell me she was carrying his baby i confronted him an he said it was all lies but since then iv found multiple flirty texts on his phone asking to meet with different girls and all that rubbish and this really hurts to see this and every time i find something he says hell stop because he just wants me and loves me. but i lost my dad recently too and he was really supportive throughout the times when i couldnt stop crying and when i needed him he didnt leave my side. however i know he was still flirting and possibly meeting up with other girls when i was going through this hard time. im still with him but will he ever change? its been 9 months yhh i know its not long but its the longest ivever been with a guy and im still finding messages.i really want this to work with him and all i ever think about is my future with him i just dont know how much more i can take. i dont know if he really loves me? i dont know if he really wants to be with me?? lately i just feel like someone whos there for when these other girls arent texting him… help me please!! july 19, 2012, 4:57 am lase hey ya all july 4, 2012, 9:03 pm asha heya i have two children to my ex we split 7 months ago as he cheated on me with a random when our second child was 2weeks i stayed for ten months and i resented him the hole time. i have been doing it olone for 7 months now but considering taking him back by seeing a councilor, then see what happends but i am very nervous. we had been together for five years. i am very unsure about what to do he also cheated with two pros before the second baby was born . not all the way but still… im wondering if i will ever b happy or wondering if i should take him back as he says he has made a huge mistake and every week he isnt giving up on asking for e back. im very uncertain i dont want to screw my kids or hurt again. july 1, 2012, 5:48 am kylie hi i’m also not sure what to do i have been with my husband for 17 years i recently found out by a friend that he cheated on me 14 years ago with a random girl he met in a club he and every one around him is telling me it was the only time but it was on the same day i gave birth to our daughter he went out to celebrate haha what a fuk joke. i think if it was happened on a different day i could forgive him i can’t seem to get past the fact that we cried together in the afternoon then the same night he slept with someone else i have kicked him out but miss him and am hurting so bad he has been a good husband never drinks dont never goes out prefers to be home but at the same time i hate him sooo much what to do september 17, 2013, 11:33 am ailaten i made the hard decision of ending a relationship with someone i had been with for nearly ten years. fact of the matter, he neglected me, spent more time with his friends, was very standoffish emotionally, did not include me in his life, and to ice the cake …..cheated on me with random females and even an ex. and yes i was with him for nearly a decade. to his credit, he helped me in raising my two children and loved them as his own. he did support my career-goals and education. although, even in his position as father-figure still didn’t put forth much effort aside from financial, and just being “around”. they love him as a father and he loves them, nonetheless. i was unhappy for the majority of relationship. i voiced my concerns to no avail, i yelled them, i cried them, i wrote them, i shouted them, i threatened to leave because of them, and i even took a holistic approach and tried to live with them (and see if they would work themselves out). i was waiting on a marriage proposal i thought i deserved and was entitled to. i got it on the back end of paternity test. i knew that was the last straw for me. that level of disrespect was too much for my integrity to bear. i was offered a promotion with my job out of state and i took it. and although the relationship was not fulfilling, disappointing, and lonely….i still doubted my decision. i cried for weeks, months, and thought i would never understand what i did wrong. i blamed myself, i blamed him….i hated him for taking nearly ten good, faithful years from me. i became needy in my desperation and used every opportunity to call and lash out at him. every conversation ended in my tears, his guilt, his frustration, and his lackluster apologies. he was exhausted with me and so was i. then, i stopped crying and started living. it has been a slow process but i discovered that i was still that vibrant person that led me to him. that there were some funny wonderful times with him but not enough to warrant my tears. i was still beautiful, desirable, and there was a whole world out there that i had not been living because i was too busy trying to live through him. i slowly gained my worth back and there is no turning back for me. i didn’t deserve the hurt he put me through and he knows that. the life that he wants and the one i want are different. it doesn’t make him bad – it just means he is bad for me. we are friends for our children and we remain cordial. but i do not sit around and wait for his texts or calls. i don’t look into why he didn’t call for three days (because i didn’t call him either). i admit that it does pull at my heart to think that he could be seeing someone or lots of someone elses ….so can i. eventually, i will find a love worthy of return. i am not hell-bent on looking for one. i am living again and it feels so good. of course i miss him and love him but that is where it ends. i do not want to go back to that life but i am not excluding ever knowing him on that level again – just not anytime soon. i am working on forgiveness and it is a battle. for once, in ten years i have made my life about me. discovering again what makes me happy and living a life where i make all of the rules. i am human and there are times in a lonely moment i want to hear his voice…..then i remember, “its just because you’re bored”. that is no reason to go down that road. i am looking forward to this new journey and happy positibilities. that was the end of that relationship but not the end of me. june 28, 2012, 3:53 pm asha i think u might have helped me man men can be scummy at what they do to hurt others. its very lonly i have two little ones.. this is what im thinking am i better off with the decision that i made. well done to you tho u sound like u r doing the best thing for u its a very uncertain time to many ups and downs july 1, 2012, 5:52 am mia alright, well i have this ex of mine, when we dated for 5 months i was absolutely in love with him, one night my friend was sleeping over and he went to the liveing room for a “glass of water” she was sleeping on the couch in the liveing room. after a couple minits he walked into the bathroom and brushed his teeth. my ex friend came in and told me they made out. me and him fought and later that day i found out about them takeing pictures….and 20 other girls. we broke up even though i was willing to give him another chance, he kept comming back to me even though he had girlfriends, at the time i didnt know he had girlfriends. anyways, its been 2 years and we just started talking the starting of 2012. recently he told me he loved me, i told him i couldnt date him because i was afraid he would hurt me again. he ignored me, then when i tried to talk to him today about fixing our friendship we got in a fight , i tried to find out why he wanted to throw our friendship away, then he told me that i should go kill myself and my ex commited sucide because he couldnt stand me…i dont know if he was lieing about loveing me, or if i hurt him by rejecting him. our friendship is over but i just want to know what went wrong. april 26, 2012, 9:57 pm monica my boyfriend cheated on me , i took him back and he did it again. i am pregnant with our second child now but i slept with someone else while i am pregnant. was i wrong even though we were not together and he was with someone else and still trying to sleep with me at the same time? i am really beating myself up about it. he said i broke his heart. march 23, 2012, 8:34 pm eric charles he cheated on you. you cheated on him. . sounds even to me… if you want to beat yourself up for it, go for it. but there’s nothing unfair about what you did… you’re both equally unfaithful to the promises you’ve made to one another. if it’s equal, no reason to feel bad about it. . but… if you want the relationship to continue, you’re going to need to have a *realistic* talk about what you can expect from one another instead of making promises to one another that end up being broken. . i don’t judge either of you for it or think you’re bad people or anything. this kind of thing happens. but it’s a clear sign you both need to do some self-assessment and soul-searching so you can break out of the cycle of hurting one another. march 23, 2012, 8:46 pm monica thank u for u comments. i know that i have to find myself because i am so lost right now. march 23, 2012, 8:54 pm courtney theres this boy who i used to be friends with in elementry school and we never talked through middle school and now were in high school and he and i have 4 classes together and we talk to each other sometimes at school but we ride the bus together and we talk and yesterday we were talking and he came and sat by me and was kinda quiet for a little bit then he asked me for my number. i’ve liked him for a while but i didn’t think he noticed me? we talk all the time and he asked for a picture of me and likes to use smiley faces. today i didn’t ride the bus and he texted me wondering where i was. we joke around all the time. but he sometimes he takes a long time to text back then acts like he doesn’t really want to be talking to me and acting like he wished he hadn’t given me his number but he always texts me first. does he like me? october 26, 2011, 4:07 pm ceris i think the question here is not whether he loves you, but whether or not you believe or can believe he does. many people have been in a relationship or marriage where their partner has cheated and have been able to move on and forgive. my dad cheated on my mum when i was very young but they have now been married nearly 30 years and are very happy. in the same instance my best friends boyfriend cheated and they tried to move on but it made her crazy and she ended up driving him insane to the point he couldn’t take it any longer. you have to decide if you are strong enough to get through this and, as eric points out, this means nit bringing it up during every fight. you also have to consider if you can handle being in a relationship that has been ‘tainted’ with bad feeling, hurt and possibly regret. once a relationship has been through something like this it can be very hard for it to continue happily and successfully. if you will always feel insecure when he is out with friends or away with work then you have to consider if this is worth continuing. you don’t want to be the crazy girlfriend who is always on the phone because you don’t know what he is up to. eric is right, you do need to talk this through but you also have a lot of thinking to do. the question should be ‘are you strong enough’ to forgive and forget completely. i really feel for you and i hope it all goes well! october 15, 2011, 6:24 am tattor so me and my boyfrined have been going out for almost 2 years now i just found out that he cheated on me like 3 weeks ago and he told me that after he cheated on me that he knows im the one and he loves me. i never once thought he would cheat on me he has never cheated on anyone besides me thats how he was brought up. but i do love him with all my heart and want to be with him for the rest of my life but every day thats all i think about and it kills me inside i don’t even want to have sex with him right now cause it hurts to much. please help i really do need it thanks september 28, 2011, 8:33 pm shysister very interesting perspective eric. thanks for sharing. i never thought it like that. i’ve always believe that either you love me or you didn’t. september 24, 2011, 12:45 am elizabeth okay, dont even know where to start…i was seeing this married man who was about 10 yrs older for 6yrs and i will be honest as bad as that sounds, but we bothe know we are absolutely perfect for each other….anyway i got tired of waiting for him to, as he called it leave his wife and be with me so i i broke it off. few months later i met this younger guy and after he bickered and persuaded me to date him cos he like me so much, i yielded…and now we’re dating. initialy it was exciting and all cos ie nt dated someone around my age in almost like never….anyway now i onder if all the “i love yous” and i will love u forevers are real, i dont trust him enough yet to believe that he can be there for me the way the other was. dont get me wrong this guy is fantastic but i just fe he doesnt get and he has probably been used to dating not so smart and plain girls so he does certain things thatare cose to unbelievable sometimes, other thing is that ive never had to eal with a guy that is boarderline slub , ive always beeen used to men that cherish cleanliness and uphold that. well i guess after talking to him a few times about it he seems to be changing a little bit. thing now is that i tend to want to avoid him sometimes cos we might just have an arguement as usual but he still always wants to be with me and spend time. and worse still is that i still have strong feelings for the other guy( the married one). what i feel for him seems like it can never ed but another part of me says i have to let go and move on with my life. te new younger guy really seems to like me but i just dont trust his love. please i need advise cos right now i cant even think straight. august 11, 2011, 7:51 am nikki i have a similar problem as well! all these comments and the advice given is really helping but at the same time idk if it applies to what im going through exactly. my ex boyfriend and i broke up earlier in the year. we started dating last october and fell for eachother very quickly and became so close but both had insecurity and jealousy problems because we were scared of losing one another. in the beginning we didnt have good communication skills and when we broke up my ex bf just wanted to go on a break at first because he needed some time to think about things. i freaked out and didnt give him his space therefore pushed him furthur away. he never went out on me when we broke up and was with other girls he was just hoping i would change and not bring so much drama to the relationship. he ignored me for 5 weeks and during that time i freaked out and lost all self control. i kissed 2 of his friends and that really pushed him furthur away, over time he forgave me and this whole past month we have been hanging out non-stop and its been so great. i have felt as if our bond was stronger then ever. we were officially dating because he said that he still couldnt trust me and didnt fully believe i was telling him the truth about all i did when we were broken up and he was right. i always denied that i did more but lately being around him its been hurting me because i just want to be honest with him if we are going forward. on monday night he called me and we were talking and he finally asked me to be completely honest with what i did when we broke up and he said he knows i did more. he was pleading me for the truth and because i love him i could no longer hold it in and continue to lie. i told him how i did sleep with 2 guys during the 6 months that we were broken up and at first he said that he is really proud of me that i could admit the truth and he said that he respects me more and that takes a lot of courage for someone to admit something like that. but a few minutes after it began to sink in he seemed to get choked up almost as if he wanted to cry and said he had to go and then slowly got off the phone, i havent heard from him since and he has not responded to my phone calls or texts. even though i went out and tried experiencing things with different guys in the end i know that no matter who walks into my life i love this guy more then anything in the world. i would do anything for him, and i realzied that he brings me unconditional love and happiness. ive gotten a lot of opinions on what i should do and everyone keeps telling me to give him space and that he is just hurt. i am scared to lose him but at the same time i feel he would have responded to tell me we are thru if that was the case. any suggestions ?!! tak skal du have. august 3, 2011, 11:35 am lisa ok i am having a little problem that is seriously bringing me down, and i have no idea what to do… i have been talking to a guy for the past 3 or 4 month. i am ready to take it to the next step and make it official. i stayed at his house a few times, he met my parents, i met his daughter. the thing is he told me that he could see me moving in, and that he needs somebody in his life to get things straight. but in the last few days he hasnt really talked to me because he is busy, well he told me he was going to be off for the next 3 days. he tells me he misses me and wants to see me, but i always have to come to his house. he wants to go on vacation with me, but he we never even went out to eat or something. i asked him what we are, if we are just friends with benefits or something like that. he said “babe i hope we are more than that”, but i feel like im doing all the work in this relationship and i dont even know what we are. i am scared that i will fall for him and he just drops me. i have been single for the past 4 years, always get dropped by guys. but then when im at work people are like how are you still single. i dont know what i am doing wrong. there is so much doing through my mind.. i don’t know what to think anymore, and its really depressing because i am ready for a relationship. i have been single for to long. please somebody help me july 29, 2011, 12:52 pm nedda hi lisa, i just came across your post and i wanted to . i don’t know what your situation is now, if you’re still seeing the guy that you mentioned above, but i wanted to let you know that i’ve been in your situation, in the sense that i’ve put the burden of defining relationship on the guy, instead of myself. i think if you feel as though you’ve been dropped by guys, any relationship is going to be difficult, and you’ll probably run into the problem you’ve described over and over again. what has worked for me, which i think may work for you, is if you know what you want from the get go, what you will stand for and what you won’t and communicate that to the guy. whoever he is. i think that often times we allow men to determine our value and self worth, when we should be doing that ourselves. no one, no matter how great he is, will value you until you value yourself. that’s been a difficult lesson for me to learn, but one of the most valuable. good luck and i hope everything works out!! august 25, 2011, 10:40 am lauren me and my boyfriend have been in a bad relstionship in the past because he cheated on me 3 times and every time he would ast me if i want to go out with him he would say i know that i have cheated on you in the past but lets put that behind us what should i do! july 25, 2011, 11:18 pm sparky i was married 28 yrs and allowed my husband to have sex with another girl and i have never forgotten it. it hurts everytime i think of it but i do know she meant nothing to him. i don’t throw it in his face but i do think of it. still married 10 yrs after it happened but, he does love me and would never do it again he says and i do believe him!! july 22, 2011, 8:41 pm jennifer excellent points made. too often i find myself approaching relationships as either/or: either he totally is in love with me or he hates me. either he was 100% faithful or he was a total jerk. the reality is that nothing is black and white, especially relationships. i really enjoy reading each ask a guy post on this blog. thanks for sharing your advice! july 21, 2011, 12:20 am