Spørg en fyr: Spilder jeg min tid?

håber m andrews der er denne fyr, jeg har talt med og set i den sidste måned. han er den ældre bror til min bedste ven. så jeg har kendt ham i mange år. lang historie kort vi har haft intimitet. han fortalte mig endda, at han elsker mig en nat. Jeg er bare forvirret, fordi han ikke taler til mig meget, som det er. måske et par minutter om dagen. og jeg ser hans kommentar på sociale medier siger, at han ikke kan se pointen i et forhold. at han ikke får noget ud af det. Jeg er ikke sikker på, hvordan man behandler alt og ikke far, hvordan man spørger, hvad hans intentioner er. 26. oktober 2019, 22.47 Jennifer Beach Jeg spurgte min kæreste, hvornår vi skal bo sammen, og det har været 3 år 4 måneder, og han blev ked af det og sagde, at han ikke kunne lide at tale om dette, når han drikker. han sagde, at han var ked af det blå og ikke kunne lide overraskelse. og han sagde, at han vil tale med mig om det, når han ikke drikker. vær venlig at hjælpe mig med at forstå min kæreste 30. juli 2016, 1:44 am ukendt Jeg har talt med de samme fyre siden oktober 2015, vi hænger næppe ud på grund af vores arbejdsplanen er så anderledes. vi kan kun hænge ud i weekenden, men nogle gange laver han andre planer, og jeg har andre planer. Jeg har også en datter, så jeg prøver at bruge min fritid sammen med hende. han forstår det. men han beder ikke om at hænge ud i løbet af weekenden overhovedet, har altid undskyldning ved at sige, at jeg er for travl, så det er derfor, han ikke beder om at hænge ud. Jeg har ikke altid travlt, ja jeg har et barn, men min mor er villig til at tage hende i det mindste en nat for at gå i biografen eller aftensmaden, men han spørger ikke, og jeg siger heller ikke noget. Jeg har virkelig stærke følelser for ham. vi sov sammen sidste måned for første gang siden vi har talt (oktober), det var dejligt. vi vil tale, han fortæller mig, at jeg er den eneste pige, han taler med. mit spørgsmål er? spilder jeg min tid? ønsker han ikke et forhold? Jeg kan ikke fortsætte med at falde for ham, og bemærkning sker. hvad laver vi? Jeg har prøvet at tage til ham om det, men jeg ønsker ikke at lyde som om jeg er trængende eller prøver at gå på date med ham. jeg vil bare vide, om jeg skal fortsætte med at tale med ham eller hvad? 19. juli 2016, 18:31 michele hej, så der har været flere tilfælde, hvor min kæreste sender beskeder til en anden kvinde og fortæller hende, at hun er den smukkeste kvinde i verden og andre ting i denne retning. Jeg har konfronteret ham med dette, og han siger, at han ikke vil gøre det igen, men i går aftes gjorde han det igen omkring kl. vi har boet sammen i over et år, og det gør han, mens jeg sover ved siden af ​​ham. Jeg er ikke sikker på, hvad jeg skal tænke eller gøre længere. send mig dine tanker. 9. juli 2016, 08:31 cellina anny Jeg har været sammen med denne fyr i 6 år, og han brød op i slutningen af ​​marts i år og sagde, at han havde travlt, fordi han i kulinarisk skole og har ikke mere tid til mig ... men jeg ser ham hænge ud med sine venner og gøre ting, der er sjove og ser ud til at have tid og i slutningen af ​​vores forhold var han bare ret op til at være ond og uhøflig over for mig . 21. oktober 2015, 14:21 kimmy hej eric for et par måneder siden blev min ven inviteret til en date til messen, han bad hende om at medbringe en ven til tag sammen med sin ven, så jeg gik. Jeg slog det af med sin ven, jeg havde virkelig en god tid. i slutningen af ​​natten forsøgte han at kysse mig, men jeg vendte hovedet, jeg ville ikke kysse en fyr, jeg lige mødte, uanset hvor sød jeg troede, han var. vi udvekslede numre, og han smsede mig en uge senere. han inviterede mig til en fest med sine nære venner der, og igen havde vi en dejlig aften fuld af samtale, jeg fik sommerfuglene bare ved at se på hans øjne. dagen efter at han ringede til mig kl. 11 og sagde, at han var uden for mit hus, sad vi udenfor og talte indtil 3 om morgenen. tingene fortsatte i 2-3 uger til. han smsede mig, når han kunne. et par datoer efter ting blev intime. vi talte nogle flere så hinanden et par gange mere, så skete det igen. Jeg hørte ikke fra ham i en uge efter det. det var omkring, da skolesemestret startede, han går i skole på fuld tid og arbejder; så er jeg, så jeg blev bare optaget. Jeg sendte ham ikke sms, medmindre han talte med mig, men til sidst kom jeg til det punkt, hvor jeg var nødt til at stille spørgsmålet 'hvor går dette hen'. Jeg fortalte ham lige ud, at jeg ikke ville spilde min tid og spurgte, hvorfor han pludselig var så fjern. han sagde, at han ikke ville skynde sig ting, og det er svært for ham at begå. den fyr, der forsøgte at kysse mig på den første date pludselig ikke ønsker at skynde ting efter alt hvad vi gjorde, så jeg trak bare tilbage. han tekster mig lejlighedsvis, han ringede til mig kl. 1 om morgenen og sagde 'jeg ved, du kan ikke lide mig, men jeg ville alligevel ringe til dig' han ville komme og se mig, men jeg fortalte ham, at det er for sent, og at han kunne se mig i morgen. han tekster mig lejlighedsvis, men jeg hører ikke fra ham i flere dage eller en uge ad gangen. Jeg ved, han har travlt med skole og arbejde, men han giver tid til at gå ud med sine venner, men kan ikke bare sende en sms til mig. Jeg er 21, han er 20. kemien er der, men han virker usikker på, hvad han vil. Jeg ønsker ikke at blive spillet eller spilde min tid på noget, der ikke vil ske, men jeg vil ikke give slip på noget, der har mulighed for at være fantastisk. Jeg vil bare forelske mig i en person, der er sjov og er min bedste ven, n jeg kan se det med ham, fordi vi har så meget sjov sammen. hvad betyder hans blandede signal? når han er sammen med mig, vil han kysse mig og holde hænder, og vi var allerede intime, men siger, at han ikke vil skynde ting? så går jeg tilbage, kysser ham ikke, holder op med at flirte og taler med ham som en ven, så siger han, at jeg er kold, og han antyder, at jeg ikke kan lide ham (det gør jeg virkelig). han var så meget for mig i starten. han er ikke den mest romantiske, men han kommer til at se mig, når han bor 25-30 minutter væk og introducerer mig til sine venner, betyder noget, men så ramte han pauserne og blev så fjern. Jeg kan virkelig godt lide ham, men jeg har lyst til, at enhver indsats, jeg lægger, trækker han væk. så trækker jeg væk, men jeg har lyst til, at jeg trækker væk får ham til at tro, at jeg ikke kan lide ham, og han trækker sig endnu mere væk. hvad gør jeg her? hvad får ham til at komme tættere i stedet for at trække sig væk? leger han bare med mine følelser med de blandede signaler? skal jeg selv når han prøver at tale med mig igen? er han optaget eller bare ikke det i mig? 28. september 2015, 16:20 rachel hej alle sammen! så jeg mødte denne franske fyr for varmt eller ikke for et år siden. ham og jeg var i et meget intimt forhold, og efter 2. datoen blev vi intime, og han bad mig om at være hans gf. efter det ville han altid hænge ud med mig, og da jeg gik på college kørte han en time bare for at se mig. han tilbragte natten i min lejlighed, og denne ene nat, da vi så en film, fangede jeg ham stirrende på mig, mens jeg så tv-skærmen. han har altid ønsket at røre ved mig i sengen, mens vi sov sammen (på en måde når vi flyttede ind i en anden position, han ville altid have fysisk kontakt med min krop) og da han måtte gå for at gå til Frankrig, ville han have mig til få en flybillet for at se ham, men det kunne jeg ikke. Jeg blokerede ham fra mine sociale medier efter det, fordi jeg var sur og ked af det, fordi han altid aflyste eller omplanerede planer med mig. en måned efter at han forlod sagde han at han var i Californien i 2 uger og ville se mig, men jeg svarede aldrig og så ham aldrig, da jeg blev såret. nu 4 måneder senere smsede jeg ham tilbage og sagde, at jeg savnede ham, vi ramte det, og han sagde, at han er begejstret for at se mig. han sendte mig tilfældige snapchats af sig selv først, og jeg svarede, men da jeg sendte ham snap, så han på dem eller svarede knap nok. han ser altid på mine snapchat-historier. Jeg tilføjede ham for nylig til min instagram, og før han tilføjede mig tilbage, sendte han en selfie med sine venner, før han tilføjede mig tilbage. han plejede aldrig at poste så ofte, men nu hvor jeg er hans ven, skriver han næsten hver anden dag. han kunne godt lide en af ​​mine selfies, som jeg for nylig sendte, som han ikke har gjort på et stykke tid. han sendte også et foto på instagram af sig selv gående og sagde ”jeg er en type fyr der venter” så pludselig sletter han det. det er september nu, og jeg kan ikke se ham før i november. mit spørgsmål til dig er, skal jeg bekymre mig om ham eller ej? kan han virkelig lide mig eller ej? 27. august 2015, 14:34 alison så jeg vil spørge andre mænd derude ... betyder læbestift noget, eller skal jeg komme med fremtidige antagelser om mit forhold kun baseret på mine mands handlinger? Jeg er 41 og går ud med en mand, der er 28. Vi har været eksklusive i omkring et år og til trods for vores aldersforskel har meget til fælles. han fortæller mig, at han elsker mig meget og næsten altid er meget tålmodig og venlig. vores sexliv er meget godt, faktisk vil jeg have det mere, end han gør. men det er de ting, der vedrører mig. først er han blevet adskilt fra sin kone i tre år, og deres skilsmisse er i gang. alligevel synes de to på en eller anden måde ikke at nå deres planlagte domstolsdatoer, og dette forlænger færdiggørelsen af ​​skilsmissen. 19. juli 2015, kl.10.58 dj hej, siden jeg blev gift, har min mand handlet anderledes, når han er omkring en bestemt ven. før kunne vi alle mødes sammen, og det var ikke noget problem. men i aften bragte han nogle venner hjem og fladt ud sparkede mig ud af stuen. først fortalte han mig, at han var hjemme og kunne se på hunden, så jeg kunne gå i seng, jeg fortalte ham, at jeg ikke var træt. efter at han svarede: 'Gå godt og se dit show i soveværelset.' Jeg er ikke sikker på, hvordan jeg skal reagere. han har kun været sådan omkring en bestemt ven. han har aldrig handlet sådan før, normalt hvis han siger noget, eller jeg går i det andet rum, når de alle er sammen, kommer han og sørger for, at alt er okay, men i dag har han handlet helt som om jeg ikke engang eksisterer. som om jeg virkelig ikke er noget. hvordan skal jeg konfrontere ham med det? 11. januar 2015, 7:51 am dii jeg vil gerne spørge noget. der er denne fyr jeg kan lide meget. Jeg tror jeg elsker ham. men han har allerede en pigeven. og han mødte den pige på grund af mig. Jeg havde sendt et billede på facebook med ham, og pigen sendte en besked til ham om, at hun kunne lide ham, og de begyndte at gå sammen. Jeg har aldrig fortalt fyren, at jeg kan lide ham, men jeg gav ham altid tegn. Jeg er sikker på, at han ved det. alligevel sender fyren mig blandede signaler. han hader det, når jeg danser med tilfældige fremmede, han er jeløs, når jeg sidder og snakker med en tilfældig fyr, eller når jeg drikker med en tilfældig fyr. når han drikker og bliver høj, trækker han mig altid mod sig og lader mig kysse ham på nakken og danse med ham som om jeg er hans kæreste, og han siger aldrig noget. faktisk fortæller han mig altid foran mine venner, at han vil gøre mig til sin søster. Jeg er virkelig forvirret og knust, fordi jeg ikke ved hvad jeg skal gøre. Jeg kan ikke komme videre, for hver gang jeg gør det, dukker han op og optræder alle jelous. hvad skal jeg gøre? hjælp venligst! tak 29. december 2014, 02:11 colez k absolut sandhed, og jeg har selv oplevet denne første hånd. endte med at blive en vicevært i situationen også. Jeg indrømmer, at det fik mig til at føle mig værdiløs på det tidspunkt, da jeg ikke følte mig 'god nok' i hans øjne, men jeg blev klar over, at jeg ikke var problemet, jeg kunne ikke hjælpe ham, og han havde brug for at hjælpe sig selv og finde løsningen på hans problemer uden mig. det fungerede godt, fordi jeg endte med at finde den mand, jeg er sammen med nu. aldrig nøjes med mindre, nedgrader aldrig din egenværdi og sørg altid for at gå ind i forhold af de rigtige grunde. Jeg er meget tilfreds med den mand, jeg har fundet nu, og det at sætte mig i denne situation gjorde det muligt for mig at sætte pris på, hvad jeg har :) held og lykke til dem, der sidder fast i disse 'situationskaber' 23. december 2014, 17:03 gabby Jeg forstår, hvad du mener om, at manden ønsker, at en pige vil have ham på sit bedste, men jeg føler også, at når du først har brugt tid og følelser over for den mand, skal du være sammen med det værste eller bedst. Det viser ham, at når livet bliver hårdt uanset omstændighederne, forbliver denne kylling. og en dag kan han betale det tilbage. 16. december 2014, 12:13 hayley så jeg og min eks talte i 4 måneder og daterede i tre brønd den pige, han var sammen med, før han havde været sammen med i 4 år godt snydte hun ham og brød derefter op med ham. han begyndte at tale med mig. omkring en måned senere, men vi daterede ikke et stykke tid længere. godt for nylig brød han op med mig bc han sagde det ikke fair for mig bc han har stadig følelser for sin eks .. er der nogen chance for at jeg og ham kan komme sammen igen, jeg venter på ham, jeg vil vente på ham. vi har ikke talt, siden han brød op med mig, jeg vil give ham plads og tid til at tænke uden at komme i vejen .. 2. december 2014, 12:19 chana jeg ville spørge fra en mand, om min kæreste snyder. min mand fortæller mig at komme og overnatte hos ham, men at jeg bliver nødt til at forlade det næste morgen, fordi han skal arbejde, og han vil ikke have mig til at blive hjemme hos hans mor og bror, som han ikke kommer overens med? 2. november 2014, 16:14 shianne hej, jeg har set denne fyr siden februar, men kendte ham siden oktober. for nylig mener han, at vi bruger for meget tid sammen. Jeg ser ham kun i weekenden. Jeg har spurgt ham, om han vil afslutte tingene, så lad os ikke slå rundt. lad os ikke spilde hinandens tid. han fortæller mig konstant, at det ikke er, hvad han vil. han lærer stadig. hans tidligere forhold var i 3 år, og han så hende som to gange hver anden uge. Jeg har lyst til, at han vil have mig i et skab, når han er klar til at have mig. Jeg har fortalt ham dette, og han forstår ikke, hvor jeg får det fra. Jeg er såååå forvirret, har brug for rådgivning !!! tak 25. oktober 2014, 06:48 nina hej! Jeg har været en 'spørg en fyr' -læser i de sidste 3 år, og jeg kunne ikke være lykkeligere. Jeg er begyndt at følge bloggen mellem relationer, da jeg lige havde delt op med nogen og mødt denne anden fyr. Jeg var et rod og tænkte, at jeg ikke var god nok, eller om de fejl, jeg lavede i mine forhold. Jeg abonnerede på mailinglisten og læste hver eneste artikel, Eric skrev om forhold. Jeg kan godt lide sabrina, men jeg må sige, at eric er skarp og ret, når han siger, at vi skal stoppe med at besætte svigtende forhold og give os selv ro i sindet. gennem erics råd har jeg lært at elske mig selv, være mere selvsikker og mindre neurotisk. Jeg har besluttet at stole på mine egne instinkter og respektere, at ikke kun en fyr har brug for tid til at begå, som jeg også gør mig selv. så hvorfor ikke bare gå med strømmen? pludselig var jeg ikke ked mere, jeg var glad for at finde ud af, at jeg var interessant, og det betyder ikke længere, om en fyr ville sende mig en sms eller ej. Jeg besluttede at datere andre fyre også og stoppede for at satse alle mine chips i denne ene fyr, som jeg næppe kendte. min mobil styrede ikke mit liv længere !! og hvis jeg havde en aften ude med mine venner, ville jeg også nyde deres selskab mere. efter et stykke tid begyndte den fyr, jeg lærte at kende, at vise mig mere interesse. han gentog hele tiden, hvor dejligt det er at tale med nogen, der smiler, glade, af en let sjæl. vores forhold blev større fra til sidst at datere til officielt sammen. vi har været sammen i de sidste 3 år, og i juli poppede han spørgsmålet ud! vi gifter os i 2016, og vores familier har bare en glæde for os begge. måske var det vores skæbne, er jeg enig. men jeg vil gerne takke eric for at gøre mig til en bedre kompis og en bedre kvinde også. mit råd til andre læsere: stop med at mislæse hans råd. har et åbent sind frem for alt. i stedet for at gætte en fyrs grund, i stedet for at bruge penge med varsler, skal du læse artiklerne en gang, to gange, så mange gange du har brug for. vi piger er opdraget til at tro, at vi kan ændre en fyrs mening, eller at hvad der er skrevet i magasinerne er den absolutte sandhed. godt, det er det ikke! lære med spørg en fyr ved at meditere om hans ord, fordi der ikke er nogen skjulte meddelelser, det er simpelt, som han siger. du får det ikke, hvis du ikke bryder dine egne paradigmer! tak eric for alt! ikke kun du hjalp mig, som du også har hjulpet nogle af mine venner. da de kom forbi for mit råd, har jeg brugt det, jeg har lært med dig her. en af ​​dem blev lige gift i sidste måned også !! kærlighed, 15. oktober 2014, 22:24 lolomcgee ? 18. juni 2014, 00:26 lolomcgee så denne fyr ive blevet snakket med fortalte mig, at han kom over, endelig efter flere timer af mig txtn n calln ham han sender mig en txt sayn undskyld jeg faldt aslepp…. skal jeg være bekymret? skal jeg være sur? han vidste hvor meget jeg savnede ham n ville se ham 18. juni 2014, 00:22 samantha hej, jeg mødte denne fyr online og fandt ud af, at vores forældre er venner alligevel havde vi en første date, han ville tage, tilbringe hele dagen med mig, men jeg endte med at blive kaldt på arbejde, og så vi hang bare om natten ... det var rigtig godt, og vi endte med at sove sammen ... så fra da ville vi mødes og sover sammen, vi gjorde det i cirka en måned, så spurgte jeg, om han ville have noget mere, og han gjorde ikke, så jeg gik lidt skør lol og kom med den antagelse, at han bare så mig for sex, og han sagde, at jeg altid var den der spurgte ... hvilket er rigtigt ... han endte med at bryde det af, som jeg var hjerteskadet for jeg kan virkelig godt lide ham ... alligevel for et par måneder siden begyndte han at tale med mig igen og jeg fandt ud af at han så nogen omkring 3 dage efter at have talt med mig igen brød han op med hende, og vi hang et par gange ... så vi havde sex .... så brød vi det af igen, fordi han sagde h Jeg var ikke interesseret, fordi en af ​​mine venner meldte ham og sagde, at han ikke skulle have behandlet mig som han gjorde, han blev meget ked af det, vi havde en massiv kamp om tekst, der ringede faktisk ikke til hinanden, så det var anden pause…. så for nylig mindes alle ting mig om ham, så jeg tænkte ok msg ham, hvis han ikke svarer nogen biggy, hvis han gør det godt .... så han svarede og spurgte, hvad jeg ville, og at han troede, at jeg hadede ham, vi talte i et par dage men jeg har ikke hørt fra ham i cirka 2 npw, jeg føler mig som en skør person haha ​​.... jeg vil bare vide, om jeg bare skal lade det gå eller fortsætte med at forfølge hes fortalte mig, at han ikke er interesseret, men han er eller er det, han vil bare have sex ... .Kan du hjælpe det med at gøre mig skør lol 21. april 2014, 17:26 lori Jeg løb på tværs af en ven fra gymnasiet på en datingwebsite for ca. 2 måneder siden . Jeg tog chancen og klikkede på linket 'Mød mig'. et par dage senere - han gjorde det samme. Jeg ventede på, at han skulle kontakte mig - og efter cirka to uger svarede han aldrig. Jeg dykkede ind og mailede ham. han huskede mig fra gymnasiet og sagde, at han har passeret mig på vores universitetscampus gående - til motion - det sidste halvandet år. han sagde, at han aldrig sagde noget før, fordi han var genert indtil lige nu. vi gik på en lang gåtur den aften og talte et stykke tid. selvfølgelig gjorde jeg den ene ting, jeg svor, at jeg aldrig ville gøre på en første date - men jeg tænkte også i mit sind, at det var lidt anderledes i betragtning af at jeg kendte ham - selvom jeg ikke havde set ham i mere end 20 år. i slutningen af ​​den første forbindelse igen - ikke rigtig kalde det en date - spurgte han mig, om han kunne se mig hver aften den uge og træne sammen. Jeg var begejstret for ideen og sagde ja. vi skulle træne den næste aften, og jeg var klar til at træne, så jeg spurgte ham, om han ville være med. han sagde, at han hellere vil have os til at spise middag og i stedet have en rigtig første date, da vi holdt op sent om aftenen før. den første uge tilbragte vi ikke hver eneste dag sammen - hvilket var fint. men det, der irriterede mig, var at han planlagde en dato natten før og derefter den næste dag - men ikke tid. Jeg bliver nødt til at spørge ham, om han stadig vil mødes, og hvis ikke, at det var ok. han var altid forsinket og fulgte aldrig med noget. men sagde altid, at han ville se mig igen og kunne lide mig. sidste gang vi så hinanden var taksigelsesaften. den sidste aften var underlig, fordi han som regel planlagde noget til næste gang - selvom det ikke skete (som jeg kaldte på det flere gange) - og den sidste gang gjorde han det ikke. så han kyssede mig farvel (krammede mig altid og kyssede mig hej & farvel) og gav mig et kram. jeg sagde vi ses snart, da jeg går tilbage til min lejlighed. Jeg smsede ham, da jeg kom ind - fordi jeg glemte at takke ham for datoen - og sagde, at jeg havde det godt og ville elske at se ham igen. han smsede mig tilbage og sagde, at han gjorde det også og var ked af at være ikke-eksisterende. Jeg fortalte ham, at jeg forstod - da han har bipolar type II. det var sidste gang jeg hørte fra ham. i løbet af 8 dage sendte jeg ham 2 e-mails og 4 sms'er - som i starten ventede jeg på, at han skulle kontakte mig. Jeg har modtaget nul tekstbeskeder eller svar på mine e-mails - og han har været online på datingwebstedet. Jeg vidste, at han oprigtigt kunne lide mig, fordi enhver, der har en psykisk lidelse, ikke bare går rundt og fortæller nogen det, som da han fortalte, at han spurgte mig, om det skræmte mig væk. Jeg ved, jeg skal gå videre - men hvorfor trækker han sig væk og er fjern? Jeg har ikke opfattet at være trængende eller noget andet, som piger gør, bortset fra at vide hvad der foregik med datoer, der var planlagt, men som ikke blev spillet ud. Vi havde 4 gode (3 faktiske) datoer i løbet af 3 næsten 4 uger. det ser ud til, at de fleste af mine forhold kun varer op til 3 eller 4 uger. hvordan kan jeg ændre dette? hvad er dit råd? 10. december 2013, 19:52 meghan elsker denne artikel! når som helst jeg befinder mig i en slags kompliceret forholdssituation, kommer jeg altid tilbage til denne artikel. det er dejligt at læse dit perspektiv holde dem kommer !! 26. august 2013, 21:05 alexia været i samme situation, mødte en fyr, der endte med at sove sammen et par gange. hver gang det var tæt på at blive til et forhold, ville han trække sig væk og forsvarligt trække skodderne ned på mig. hans seneste undskyldning var, at han ikke kan se forholdet gå nogen steder - lyder velkendt? og at han kun ser på mig som en ven .. men i en beruset samtale i sidste uge fik jeg endelig besked om den virkelige grund, at han allerede har en kæreste, og han har været sammen med hende i flere måneder. Jeg var faldet hoved over hæl for denne fyr, og jeg følte mig syg af maven, da jeg fandt ud af, at jeg hele tiden havde været den anden kvinde. endnu her fortæller jeg ham, at jeg vil vente, hvis der er en chance for, at vi er sammen, jeg ved, at jeg er en fuldstændig fjols, og intet vil ske, jeg synes bare ikke at have styrken eller modet til at gå væk, hvilket er ynkelig. 9. august 2013, 05:04 lilly har været i et forhold i et år. min kæreste og jeg brød op for omkring en uge siden. Jeg så virkelig de røde flag, men med hans opløftende historie, tidligere historie og omstændigheder overså jeg problemer. indtil opløsningen. han begyndte at være uhøflig, respektløs, flirte, forsøgte at gøre mig jaloux, bryde planer, ikke holde sine løfter, bryde kun op for at trække sig tilbage og fortæl mig, at det ville være for trist. indtil afbrydelsen fortalte han mig, at han sov hos mig, fordi han på det tidspunkt ikke havde et valg. og at han kunne lide at sove alene og ikke skulle bekymre sig om at tage hele sengen. han fortsatte med undskyldninger for at fortælle mig, at jeg var for religiøs, ikke lyttede til ham, og jeg var dum. så jeg gik med på at gå i stykker, men han skiftede derefter mening. så sagde han ting som om vi skulle sælge vores hjem og få et sammen - alt for at få mig ud af vagt. endelig fik jeg nok. Jeg fortalte ham, at jeg rejste og aldrig kommer tilbage. han blev sur og voldelig og bad mig ikke om at blive og arbejde på tingene. jeg går videre. Jeg vil forblive venner og undrer mig over, hvad du synes om dette. også var sex næsten nul. han ønskede kun selvtilfredshed og ville hellere se porno. han nævnte, at alle hans venner ville have yngre kvinder, og de har dem og er heldige. han mener, det er normen. Jeg håber, de brød formen på denne. han ville komme hen til middag og derefter gå. han ville se på sit ur som om han havde noget i gang. Jeg mistænkte snyd. bedes du rådgive. tak 1. marts 2013, 14:40 lilly Jeg har været i et forhold i et år. min kæreste og jeg brød op for omkring en uge siden. Jeg så virkelig de røde flag, men med hans opløftende historie, tidligere historie og omstændigheder overså jeg problemer. indtil opløsningen. han begyndte at være uhøflig, respektløs, flirte, forsøgte at gøre mig jaloux, bryde planer, ikke holde sine løfter, bryde kun op for at trække sig tilbage og fortæl mig, at det ville være for trist. indtil afbrydelsen fortalte han mig, at han sov hos mig, fordi han på det tidspunkt ikke havde et valg. og at han kunne lide at sove alene og ikke skulle bekymre sig om at tage hele sengen. han fortsatte med at undskylde for at fortælle mig, at jeg var for religiøs, ikke lyttede til ham, og jeg var dum. så jeg gik med på at gå i stykker, men han skiftede derefter mening. så sagde han ting som om vi skulle sælge vores hjem og få et sammen - alt for at få mig ud af vagt. endelig fik jeg nok. Jeg fortalte ham, at jeg gik og aldrig kom tilbage. han blev sur og voldelig og bad mig ikke om at blive og arbejde på tingene. jeg går videre. Jeg vil forblive venner og undrer mig over, hvad du synes om dette. også var sex næsten nul. han ønskede kun selvtilfredshed og ville hellere se porno. han nævnte, at alle hans venner ville have yngre kvinder, og de har dem og er heldige. han mener, det er normen. Jeg håber, de brød formen på denne. tak 1. marts 2013, 14:35 mindet om der er noget ret dyb visdom, du giver her. hele 'jo mere indsats du lægger i et forhold, jo mere ender du med at vedhæfte personen' citat fik mig til at tænke, wow det er meget sandt. tilsyneladende er alt, hvad man har brug for, læst det for at forstå det. godt gjort! 13. september 2012, 16.43 eric charles tak, jeg sætter stor pris på det. Jeg prøver virkelig hårdt på at få alt på en måde, der er enkel, men har et slag. Jeg prøver - altid rart at høre, at det var forbundet med dig. tak for kommentaren. 13. september 2012, 20:53 siobhan jeg har hårdt brug for hjælp, den mand, jeg er forelsket i, har slået op med mig to gange, men ingen af ​​os kunne holde sig væk. vi mødtes igen, og han fortalte mig, at han elskede mig foran alle vores venner og bad mig om at tilgive ham, vi tilbragte natten med at grine, men den næste dag ville han ikke vide det. Jeg kunne se depressionen i ham, men først i går indså han det og er gået til lægerne takke gud. han fortalte mig, at jeg ikke fortjener en som ham, og han bryr sig for meget for at såre mig og har brug for plads, da han har ødelagt alt i sit liv, men jeg elsker ham, og jeg ved, at han elsker mig. han har store forpligtelsesproblemer fra en tidligere voldelig forholdshjælp 25. august 2012, 13:48 ilicia diaz læs !!!!! spilder tid !!!!!! 24. august 2012, 10:14 pm prettybroken dette er sådan et fremragende perspektiv. Jeg har en vane med at blive involveret i forholdet mellem patient og vicevært. efter at mit sidste forhold sluttede, har jeg haft mange problemer med at prøve at få mening i tingene. når jeg bliver virkelig nede og forvirret, henviser jeg altid tilbage til denne artikel. det forklarer, hvad der sker på et ubevidst niveau, hvilket virkelig er, hvad de fleste piger prøver at finde ud af. tak for at skrive dette! 16. august 2012, 16:09 kathy jeg datede med en fyr, og vi faldt helt for hinanden. Jeg var 17 på det tidspunkt, og han var 23, så mine forældre fik os til at afslutte det, og vi begge var knust i hjertet. mange måneder gik, og jeg blev 18, så jeg kontaktede ham. mine forældre har det godt med os, der dater nu ... først var han så begejstret og fortalte mig, hvordan han savnede mig bla bla bla ... og så pludselig freakede han ud og sagde, at han ikke længere ønsker et seriøst forhold, og jeg skulle bare finde nogen, der ikke er så rodet. han kæmper med depression, som jeg kendte for længe siden. jeg ved ikke, om jeg skal give op ??? vi lavede planer om at hænge som venner, men den dag, vi skulle hænge, ​​svarede han aldrig på mine tekster eller noget. jeg vil ikke generer ham, og jeg har lyst til, at han fortæller mig at gå væk, men jeg har lyst til, at det bare er fordi han er bange for at blive såret igen ??? 13. august 2012, 17:08 rangel jeg synes, de oplysninger, du giver, er fantastiske !! Jeg er lige begyndt at 'date' igen efter at have været i et forhold i 10 år. Jeg ville ønske jeg havde disse oplysninger før, men er begejstret for at have det nu. Jeg planlægger at bruge oplysningerne til at forbedre mine romantiske bestræbelser. Bare rolig, jeg vil kun bruge oplysningerne for godt;)! jeg kan ikke vente !! for første gang føler jeg, at jeg ved, hvad der sker i a. menneskets sind. 28. juli 2012, 21:35 lara Jeg har læst mange opskrivninger på forholdssider. og du giver god rådgivning eric! :) 10. juli 2012, 04:23 eric charles tak - det sætter jeg pris på. 10. juli 2012, 12:18 wannabeezinthetrap Jeg mødte en fyr gennem en fælles ven, vi kalder ham #m. Jeg har også været i et forhold i over 3 år med en anden fyr (vi kalder #t), som jeg mødte efter mødet #m. alligevel, dateret #t uden hikke i 3 år. vi var i færd med at bryde op, da jeg snuble over #m igen efter alle disse år. se #m og jeg blev altid tiltrukket af hinanden, men handlede aldrig på disse følelser. så naturligt at se hinanden efter år medførte en ny burst af velkendte følelser. vi har en åbenbar fysisk og seksuel tiltrækning, og vi kunne ikke holde vores hænder, øjne eller sind væk fra hinanden. vi besluttede at starte dating. dette var den 5. maj 2012, vi har været sammen i over en måned nu. vi gensidigt enige om ikke at have sex før mindst 90 dage. Jeg har overnattet hjemme hos ham, og vi har narret, men ingen sex. sidste weekend havde vi planer om at hænge ud lørdag, og han rejste mig op. Jeg så ham den næste dag, og han svor, at han ville gøre op for mig, han var så ked af det og bla bla bla. tekster er blevet skåret dramatisk ned, og i weekenden ringede han slet ikke til mig. han smsede mig søndag aften og sagde “hvad er der skat ??” med !! Jeg har ikke talt med ham siden fredag ​​aften, og jeg vil slet ikke ringe til ham overhovedet. mit spørgsmål er wtf sket ?? vigtige punkter: * fortalte ham, at min bf var brudt op, og at han flyttede ud i slutningen af ​​måneden * vi fortalte hinanden, at vi ville være 100% ærlige uanset hvad * han frivilligt løb spil på mig og fortalte mig at jeg var den eneste han så 18. juni 2012, 15:10 michelle han blev sandsynligvis nervøs, eller da jer ikke har talt så længe han vidste ikke, hvordan han ellers kunne sige hej til dig. måske siger 'hej !!' spontant ville slags bringe den følelse af venlighed og fortrolighed. i det mindste er det, hvad min fyr gjorde for mig. i haven’t texted him for a couple of days (1-2 days) and suddenly he just texts “hey?! what’s good!!” i’m sure my guy didn’t want to set a solemn mood by saying “hi” all meek and weak. june 22, 2012, 11:08 pm wannabeezinthetrap just am update: it has been almost 4 months since we started this relationship. all i can say is, i am no longer confused whether or not i am wasting my time. the question now is am i wasting his time. 3 years vs. these last 4 months! time to make some decisions! ladies~ i know it sounds cliche, but the best thing you cam do to “catch” the one you want is to occupy your time and give him the minimum of your free time, and withhold from sex with him as long as you can. do what you have to do to satisfy your needs. but do not give into him until you know he’s as into you as you are to him. hang out, go shopping, take a class, work later hours, go work out, whatever you have to do…. just be sure to occupy yourself away from him! trust me!!!!!! august 25, 2012, 5:47 pm violette hi. i only just recently told a guy friend i’ve known for two and a half years that i like him. i’m in highschool btw. we are really close, and he has shown me absolutely every sign that he cares about me, but there’s one problem. he can’t decide his feelings. he has been in a relationship and had his heart broken before, and what makes it worse is the fact that the girl who did said heart breaking was in the exact same grade as me. recently he told me he still has issues that way, along with some emotion problems relating to diabetes and doesn’t know if he can trust liking someone again. he told me that he wouldn’t tell me what he thought of me, because at the moment he said he has a lot of mental ‘paperwork’. so we decided to stay friends for now. just yesterday i invited him to my house to watch some dvds with me and a couple of other friends in a few weeks. he literally jumped at the chance. he always stares at me a lot and smiles, we have really long eye contact. most of the time he offers me his hand to get up at the end of lunch, and he hugs me alot. is there a chance that he might come around? could this work out ?? he is really important to me, and i genuinly care for him. btw i’m 16 and he’s 15. please , anything would be helpful! june 15, 2012, 3:29 am kc ok simi-similar situation… so i’ve “dated” this guy for about 2 months… we had one heck of a week. everything went so smoothly, he was pursing me, calling me, texting me, non-stop… then he fell off. ok, yes, we did have sex (totally unexpected). just meeting him was totally unexpected. we talked about it (the sex), and agreed everything was ok and we continued on.. about a week and a half later the calls stopped, but he still texted. he told me he had major issues going on, i inquired about them and he told me they were too deep. i said ok, well i’m here if you ever want to talk. i have absolute no problem with giving him space… weeks went by and i hadn’t seen him, he still texted and i would too spuratically just to see how he was doing..(texts were such as he missed me, wanted to see me and seeing how i was doing). anywho, so finally after a month he said he wanted to see me asap, we did which was about a week ago, and he still showed the same interest, things were great.. but after that it went back to him being distant… i’m like wth? so i asked him via text, am i wasting my time pursing you and getting to know you?… only because that’s how i can reach him. i didn’t get any response…??? may 24, 2012, 1:42 pm elizabeth okay so i am in a similar situation. i met this guy about 7 months ago. he goes to school about 2 1/2 hrs from me and neither one of us have a car. when he is home on break, his parents let him use one of theirs so he will drive and come visit me or pick me up and we hang out at his best friends house. we didn’t have sex until probably the seventh time seeing each other and at this point. i have already started to fall for him. we text everyday and he has been there for me through some of my toughest times. recently however, i ended up telling him that i was falling for him. he thought i was joking as it was april fools day. when he realized i wasn’t he said there was no point seeing each other anymore, but then got upset when i didn’t fight him on it. his response was ” so you tell me this and when i tell you its over you have nothing more to say? he also asked me why i thought he was ready to hear that. i told him i told him because i wanted to be honest with him and he was like well there’s nothing more to say. i asked if we could be friends and he said no so i said okay if you want me out of your life i’m gone. i deleted him off facebook and i thought that was the end of it. two seconds later he texts me, explaining how he wasn’t trying to be a d bag but he wasn’t good at this sort of thing. offered to come see me at my work this summer and bring his friend with if that would make me more comfortable. i told him that wouldn’t be a good idea if he doesn’t want me in his life because that would just bring up hurt feelings. so then he said that he doesn’t see why we can’t be friends after all. i told him okay but i needed time and then he went back to acting how things were before? from a guys point of view what id going on? i have no idea what he is thinking now that he has done a complete 180. i haven’t talked to him in 4 days and even though i miss him, i won’t be contacting him for at least a couple weeks. any advice?? much thanks april 7, 2012, 5:14 am rachelle i have been dating my boyfriend for 1 year and half now. 6 months ago he moved to a new city and we had long distance relationship. we caughtup almost every other weekend and had a great time. then he started to act different a few months ago. he stopped being all cuddly and kissing me. i then found out that he had gone on vacations with his ex-girlfriend and he later aplogised for it. i thought we were back to normal now, but he says, he just wants to be friends now. his ex text saying she still wants him back etc, etc. i really love him and don’t want to be just friends. hvad skal jeg gøre? i had made plans of moving to the new city to be close to him, but now, don’t know what to do as he says he may move from the city to another place for a diff job if he gets a new opportunity after 6 months. his stuff is still at my place as its costly to move to new city so he said he’d move here to sell it all and for his diy projects, but also said it depends on where he finds the next good job. i miss him too much and just want to be with him. april 3, 2012, 9:08 pm michelle i have been dating a man for about two months; the first 6 weeks were great. the last two he was working a lot of hours, so i knew he was busy. the problem however, was that when i would text him (not like stalker text – like maybe once every other day) he would takes 2 to 3 days to answer if he even bothered. when i explained to him that this made me feel like a bootie call.. he was very defensive and even went as far as to say that he was not receiving my texts. i gave him the benefit of the doubt. this last monday he told me he really likes me and please don’t turn out to be crazy, because of the whole “no response” on the text messages. i am very laid back, not jealous, and believe in keeping your own identity even when in a relationship. so i was insulted. the conversation ended with him saying again he really liked me a lot and everything was fine he has just been busy with a ton of hours at work. ok so no big deal to me. thursday he sent me a text at around 4 saying he just got home from work and asked me if i would like to talk to him soon j? i said definitely j i also told him i had to take a shower and i would text him when i was out. i texted him once i was out of the shower and did not receive a . i figured he fell asleep since he was working so many hours. i told him sweet dreams and told him i would see him on the following day since we had made plans to see each other. the next day came; still no response. i sent him a message asking him if he would still like to hang out together that night – still no response. i let it go until around 8 pm that night i sent him a text saying i hope you are ok, and to take it easy. still no response. about an hour or so later i sent the last text for the day which just said i “is everything ok?” then went out with friends. no answer. by saturday i was concerned so i texted him asking him if he was ok, and to please pay me the courtesy of telling me a simple yes or no answer and i would never contact him again – no response. i don’t know what happened. i understand that he does not want to see me again, but i am not sure why and definitely not sure why he can’t be courteous enough to to a text asking him if he is ok. i am so confused i don’t understand it at all. after our first date, he said i was way out of his league. i don’t believe in “:leagues.” maybe i should have taken his advice. can someone tell me what the heck happened and what i should do, if anything? i am sad about this entire thing. i thought we were doing well. the worst part is i have no closure, i asked if he was ok, and no response. in fact i told him i wouldn’t contact him again i just wanted to know nothing terrible had happened, still no responsible. to me that is just immature. to me that is just someone who thinks so little of me that i am not worth a single word and i am worth that and much, much more. fierytopaz march 12, 2012, 1:02 am luisa i hate when guys do that. you know, i was dating this guy for 1 month, now he’s not texting anymore…i feel really sad to be honest but i will not send him anything, and i was right, i wasn’t even sure of having sex with him, it was good i didn’t, well, whatever happened i just decided to go on with my life and change it for good. men are silly, they never talk, they are so weird we always have to talk and they are just like little cowards and hide. i don’t hate men, but that’s the truth!. may 2, 2012, 3:12 pm jess eric you’re right on point i think. i was dating guy for a couple of months it started getting a little more serious in terms of me spending night, etc…anyway, he was going through a really busy patch at work and also has a serious custody issue w/ trying to get his daughter who is out of state. but after i spent the night last date he didn’t contact me for over a week. i let him know it was unacceptable and i wasn’t that type of girl to be used like that. he never responded…figured i would never hear from him again but two weeks later he contacted me said i’m great girl he had feelings for me but was very overwhelmed w/ work and the custody fight and was feeling depressed and mad over the custody stuff and that he would like to keep seeing me but needs to work out custody stuff first. and that he would call when it was over but would understand if i didn’t pick up. i just said i was there for him and i wished him luck. so i left door open for him to contact me. i kind of feel this shows me a ton of respect…am i crazy? i feel that he likes me too much to just see me casually right now when he can fit me in when he knows things are crazy in his life. and that he wants to be in better place before calling me. just not sure cuz some girls say i shouldn’t have been so nice about it. i dont’ know why some girls don’t get that guys deal w/ emotions differently than we do….do you think i’m handling this correctly and do you feel like i do that he is being legit? january 1, 2012, 9:08 pm angeldixon well i’ve been seeing this guy for over a month the other day he said he was getting to close and didn’t know how to handel it. he said you know i like you alot and told me not to give up on him he don’t text that much anymore tells me i have nothing to sorrow about should i keep texting him letting him know i care or what should i do. im so confused. i really care about him. december 22, 2011, 2:00 am lental guys are pigs and they are stupid idiots. girls we need to stop letting them control us like we are there pets november 25, 2011, 12:40 pm eric charles my my my… november 25, 2011, 1:28 pm kathy i dated a guy and we completely fell for each other. i was 17 at the time and he was 23 so my parents made us end it and both of us were heart broken. many months went by and i turned 18, so i contacted him. my parents are fine with us dating now… at first he was so excited and told me how he missed me blah blah blah… and then all of the sudden he was freaking out and saying how he doesn’t want a serious relationship anymore and i should just find someone who isn’t so messed up. he battles with depression, which i knew a long time ago. i don’t know if i should give up??? we made plans to hang as friends but the day we were supposed to hang he never replied to my texts or anything. i don’t want to bother him and i feel like he’s telling me to go away but i feel like that’s just because he’s scared of being hurt again??? august 13, 2012, 5:11 pm kimmy hey eric a few months ago my friend was invited on a date to the fair, he asked her to bring a friend to tag along with his friend, so i went. i hit it off with his friend i really had a great time. at the end of the night he tried to kiss me, but i turned my head, i wasn’t going to kiss a guy i just met, no matter how cute i thought he was. we exchanged numbers, and he texted me a week later. he invited me to a party with his close friends there, and again we had a great night full of conversation, i got the butterflies just looking at his eyes. the day after he called me at 11 saying he was outside my house, we sat outside talking until 3 in the morning. things continued for 2-3 more weeks. he texted me when he could. a couple dates after things got intimate. we talked some more saw each other a couple times more then it happened again. i didn’t hear from him for a week after that. it was around when the school semester started, he is going to school full time and working; so am i so i just kept busy. i didn’t text him unless he talked to me, but eventually i got to the point where i had to ask the “where is this going” question. i told him straight out i didn’t want to waste my time, and asked why he was being so distant all of a sudden. he said he didn’t want to rush things and it’s hard for him to commit. the guy who tried to kiss me on the 1st date all of a sudden doesn’t want to rush things after all we did, so i just backed off. he occasionally texts me, he called me at 1 in the morning saying “i know u don’t like me but i wanted to call u anyway” he wanted to come see me but i told him it’s too late and that he could see me tomorrow. he occasionally texts me but i don’t hear from him for days or a week at a time. i know he’s busy with school and work but he makes time to go out with his friends but can’t simply text me. i’m 21 he is 20. the chemistry is there but he seems unsure of what he wants. i don’t want to get played or waste my time on something that won’t happen but i don’t want to let go of something that has the possibility to be great. i just want to fall in love with someone who is fun and is my best friend n i see that with him because we have so much fun together. what do his mixed signal mean? when he’s with me he wants to kiss me and hold hands and we already were intimate, but says he doesn’t want to rush things? then i back off, don’t kiss him, stop flirting and talk to him like a friend, then he says i’m being cold and he hints saying that i don’t like him (i really really do). he was so into me at first. he’s not the most romantic but him coming to see me when he lives 25-30 minutes away and introducing me to his friends means something, but then he hit the breaks, and became so distant. i really really like him, but i feel like any efforts i put in he pulls away. then i pull away, but i feel like me pulling away makes him think i don’t like him and he pulls away even more. what do i do here? what will make him get closer instead of pulling away? is he just playing with my emotions with the mixed signals? should i even when he tries talking to me again? is he busy or just not that into me? september 28, 2015, 4:19 pm aurora ?_? january 24, 2012, 5:37 pm luisa wow!! you are so right…but tell me, when will this happen? pffff…..wish could happen for real! may 2, 2012, 3:14 pm robin i am 46 years old and have been living with my 51 year old boyfriend for three years. he constantly says he wants to marry me but has not asked. he has had me look for rings on three different occasions to back out on purchasing later due to finances (he says). recently, we found a ring and he decided not to buy it saying that he needed to save money. a couple of weeks later he poped up in the morning saying “b” i want to get a theatre put in and now is the best time. he paid a great deal of money for this and a lot of it was cash (4 times the cost of my ring). i am a full-time student and working full-time with a graduation of may 2012. i do all the housework, cook and do things around the house that a man should do. he does nothing but watch tv, have a drink and sleep. should i just call it quits and move? i do love him and hate to start this dating thing all over again. i am an attractive woman and decided to make a change and go for the not so attractive man that was a good person (hoping for a better outcome). october 26, 2011, 1:18 pm luisa change him….some men just need maids and that’s not fair to us! there are so many fishes on the sea anyway! may 2, 2012, 3:18 pm robyn hey angel, it sounds like there is only one thing to do, and you already know what it is. this guy is a control freak, and sounds like crazy wife-beater chauvinist. get the heck out of that relationship!! leave him and never look back- you’re worth way more than that!! – robyn september 1, 2011, 6:08 pm angel i have been seeing this guy for a yr n half. i love him dearly. we (i thought) hit it off right away.. i was scared to feel for someone and his story was the same.. he began staying with me almost immidiatly like with in a week.. in 9 months we was intimiate on maybe 3 occasions and only one did he finish. he always had an excuse on y he didnt want to be. with no warning one night he left..he went to a very younger girl an x, which is not very attractive but very thin.. where i have curves and as the guys say” kinda thick”.i weight 135pd 5ft tall.. never the less her and i was becoming friends.i knew but had no evidence they was together.. till one nite he told me and her and i got into a physical fight.. he intiesed it!!!. i sent him pics of her with my nephew(her cover up) and a week later i took him back.. we was together and he treated me so bad!!! controlling.. “woman have places and speaking is not one of them” he had never spoke to me or acted so ….. he kinda proposed on face book one nite out of the blue…said he wanted to take us to the next level… ya blah blah and blah.. the next nite. he went to work and i found on fb a message from another very young girl that the message was for her!!! she lives in another state…we split!!! 2 months later we got back together..he wanted tobe with me,, he missed me and he needed help with bills cause the house we was getting when we split the last time he couldnt afford cause ya the other girl didnt move here.. so i move in and we get back together.. everything was good for bout 2 weeks then couplke times he didnt come home right away with exuses like he went out to eat with co-workers or he got stuk behind semis moving a house for 2 hrs…. then one nite he was called into work on his day off.. i had planned a romantic evenin for us and then changed everything around till he got off at 12pm well 1:30 came and he still wasnt home not answering my text or calls… so at 2:30am i desided to go to a fire wit co-workers..i was at the party litterally 2min and he called..i told him where i was and if he was on his way home i was too…he said we was done and only roommates… we sleep together have sex ( when he wants it) i am not to bring it up period, i do his laundry, i cook clean,he wakes me up n middle of nite to go to store and cook him food… he still communicates with the out of state girls mom( but not the girl)..i dont know what to do…. he says he doesnt want a relationship with me or anyone…. honestly he dont go anywhere to spend time with anyone else… he goes to work and comes home… what do i do? he is still controlling like im not aloud to drink..and he is always thinking im having sex with someone else.. plz help me august 7, 2011, 9:16 am nice hi june 17, 2011, 12:54 am keisha hi my name is keisha i met my kids dad ten years ago, we been together for seven years since we got back together. we live together for now six years with two kids. our situation is i been ready to get marry but his not. he in the pass have bought it up( i am going to give you example ) keisha where do you want to get marry , my will be in the state where we live and the min i turn and ask him when he will this happen or year his answer is when it happen it happen n you will know then. once he told me we’ll be marry once our son turn three and his going to be four. to make it short … just two months ago he told me to chose a ring , so many time he play with my emotion that this time i didn’t pay him no mind. when he told me to show him a style the first thing i told him was , look everything been going great between u and i and i don’t want to mess that up because you know how serious i am about marriage. he then said you can do something that simple. i really mean it this time. the following day he ask me to show him one and i could. so now is monday and his like it doesn’t matter , because at the end is up to the man to chose the ring. later on that day we were heading to the mall and i am sitting on the passager seat of course and he tell me to show him a ring , so i just show him one to see what would he have said. he said all he want was to see my taste for when that time come. now how long should i have to wait. or what decision should i make i love him and all but he can’t be playing with my feeling enough is enough !!!! march 31, 2011, 3:36 am kayla bright i was seeing this guy for about 9 months.we done everything together.we went places,seen movies,went to the beach, and alot more other stuff.after we slept together a couple times,he stopped texting me, calling me, even seeing me.i was hurt/crushed. :( . i don’t know what to do anymore. december 19, 2010, 1:23 am luisa men are weird, that’s the problem, and when we feel they are comfortable with us…they leave! don’t get what’s going on in their heads! may 2, 2012, 3:16 pm abbi my god, it’s like reading my life for the last 6 years. i do love this man, we have known each other almost 30 years, and have been good friends. it’s only in the last 6 that we started seeing each other. i know that he loves me, but he won’t give in to his feelings. i pursue, i give and give and give and now i am so drained, i don’t have the strength anymore. he has been so much since his divorce, 6 years ago, and i can’t believe some of the stuff he puts himself through. he is so much more than he allows himself to be, and that is the man i love. i see glimpses of that man, but not enough anymore for it to make a difference. he won’t snap out of it and i want better for myself. i am 46 and know what i wan t. i am not desperate to be with anyone, i am content with my life, my job and my family. but growing old with someone i value as a friend, my best friend who doesn’t want that? i have blamed myself for years; saying i am not good enough for him? that it’s just a sex thing and he gets mad and tells me that that isn’t it, it’s him. and it is, it is him. he just isn’t at a point in his life where he feels he deserves a decent relationship and i am not sure he ever will be. thank you so much for the encouragement. abbi february 2, 2010, 1:24 pm sabrina alexis jick- i have been where you are- in a relationship that drained me on every level, with a guy who didn’t appreciate me, and in a situation that i knew i needed to get out of but just couldn’t. part of it is you, a bigger part is him, and combined, it’s the relationship itself. you should be with someone who you can trust, who you feel secure with, and who brings out the best in you. from what you’ve written, you’re not getting any of that from this guy. in these kinds of situations, it’s so easy to just cling onto the few good times- the nice gestures, the encouraging words- and to ignore the bigger picture which is that the relationship isn’t working. i know it’s hard. when i was in a similar relationship, i just couldn’t find the strength to walk away. eventually, and inevitably, the relationship came to a very ugly and devastating end. when that happened all i could think about was the pain i would have spared myself if i had just let go earlier, when i knew the relationship wasn’t worth holding onto. i think you really need to assess what you want, both our of life and out of a partner. you deserve someone who lifts you up, not someone who brings you down. this guy sounds very selfish and scattered. obviously i’m only working with the information you provided, but it seems very clear that you need to walk away and i really hope that, unlike me, you find the strength to recognize that you deserve better. i hope it all works out. keep us posted! january 27, 2010, 8:31 am jick i have a similar story. i hooked up with my current boyfriend a year and a half ago. we met 8 years ago and had a strong interest in each other. though, nothing could stem out of it because he was my brother’s friend and i moved to another province after. my brother was quite upset when we hung out. so, 1.5 yrs ago, he came to hang out with me because he was having problems with his girlfriend. though he did not say much about their problems, i was trying to be a friend and told him to leave her then. after hanging out a few times, i brought up how we use to have so much fun and how he wrote me this letter. i also told him i missed him. he also told me how hard it was for him 8 years ago when i left and wrote him a nasty letter. telling him i only thought of him as a friend but i thought of him as more inside, just didnt know how to deal with a relationship when i was leaving. so, 8 years now, we hooked up one night, very impulsively as well, i didn’t know what i was feeling. we just did it and i had to go out the same night. so, we parted. he called me the next morning to have a smoke and to talk, so i agreed to come out. he asked, “so… what happened last night…”. i didn’t know what the hell to say. i just said, we could go with the flow? then his face changed and said, you know i have a girlfriend right? he asked if i did it because i was depressed. i just said, no, i actually had feelings for you. i just assumed you would leave her and come to me. but i dropped it with his answer. he kept coming back and we hung out as “friends”. until he started to come for sex. i got very upset and threw ultimatums at him. stated very clearly, do not look for me if you’re still with her. he would bring gifts to my place to find ways to see me. i put my foot down quite strong as i said he can not keep coming to me if he is still with her. he said they broke up, but isnt sure about having a relationship with me. he said he needed time and i said fine. he said it’s not that i’m a second choice or anything. he has his issues to figure out. i left it for a couple of months and i asked how long does he need, he said 1 month. after 1 month, it was another ultimatum. this time he finally said, ok, i’m his girlfriend. we went out for dinner with his family and slowly, i was at his place a few more times. his sister’s wedding was on the day i came back from my trip. however, he did invite me at all. i was expecting to go, but i knew something was up when he didn’t invite me. the day i came back, i met up with him and had a feeling his ex was there. i was right, at the end of the night, they we’re walking into his house together. he texted me and said he will be sleeping at his uncle’s. i texted him back with thank you for the lie, i was infront of your house, have a good night. he came over to my house and sat there for a long time dialing my number. i was so upset. i was in tears. then finally i opened the door to tell him to leave and he was begging to talk. i was so upset. i said nothing can change what i saw. he wanted me to listen to his explanation. she was invited, but as a bride’smaid because his sister works with her. he did not sit beside her, did not take pictures, barely talked to her. she was very drunk so she needed to crash at his place after. i was so upset. i told him to leave me alone and he said that he waited so long for us to happen and that he gave everything up for us. everything. he made one mistake. i said a lie is a lie. after that night, i said if he wanted to make it work, he had to bring me home with him. he said she’s leaving. and i said i want proof, so he brought me back to his house. she was gone. i couldn’t sleep that night. i was so upset and hurt. the next night, i went home and he spent days bringing me out and telling me how good i am to him. i was to the point of numbness. eventually, i forgave him and we spent the summer hanging out and i had to go on a stagette trip again. i went and came back to seeing text msgs and bbm msgs between them. that’s when i decided that i had to let go. he agreed. he said the relationship wasn’t working anyways because i get upset all the time at him. i said, yeah, i agree. and he did the same too. we were just not meant to be. i was quite hurt letting him go, but i thought that was the thing. i started to hang out with my friends again. i had parties to go to, and met some new people. saw some old friends again, one guy that was being quite nice to me cuz he knew i was really sad about the break up. again, they were my brother’s friends and they were trying to cheer me up. one of them was single and was being nice to me. i sensed it. he cheered me up and said watch, when i leave, this guy will approach you. and it did happen. but i wasn’t in any mood to be with anyone. just socialized and called it a night. didn’t get drunk or anything like that. after that night, i went out with the guy that cheered me up and we sorta hit it off i guess. i had good vibes and he was being very sweet. he asked me to go eat and i asked him to go skating. we had so much fun. i stayed at his place one night and he just hugged me to sleep. i was quite happy. he asked to go for the movies and i was happy. the only problem was, the other guy kept calling. he kept calling and calling. i called him back and he was upset. asking why i didnt pick up his call or return his call. i said i was out. he was interrogating me to the point of who was i with, what was i doing. i just said friends. at that time, i didnt feel like i had a need to report to him because i was not his girlfriend anymore. soon, i had to deal with him and the guy that i started to develop feelings for. i didn’t know what to do. i was so frustrated. the other guy said, he thought he felt a good vibe, but maybe he was wrong so he’ll leave me alone. i told him its not, its just that i have to deal with other stuff. he said he understands and he’ll be patient. i then had to deal with ex…. he was very needy and was not wanting to let go. started doing nice things, cook for me and etc. i didnt know what i was getting into. i wanted to see the other guy. i wanted to be with him. but i had to go back to tell my ex, he has to let me go. the day i did that, he locked me in the washroom for 6 hrs and would not let me go until i told him who it was. i got tired and told him after 6 hrs. he was so hurt and started to bang his head on the wall. i felt heart broken too. i thought that me being the one in between him and his ex, i have to step away and move on… and when i did, he wouldn’t let me go. he asked me to stay that night and i did. he told me that i was vulnerable and i fell for him because he was just trying to be nice when i was down. he didnt want to see me hurt. and that he is the one that really cared about me and loves me. i stayed with him. soon the other guy new that i wasnt into that relationship and he called it game over. since then, it was better. my boyfriend started to treat me better. and he was much more happy and into the relationship. but i didn’t know what was going on. i kept some of my guards up. we continued to have fun, spend time together and saw each other every single day. he then had to take a trip with his mother for 1 month. before he left, he gave me keys to his place/parent’s place. (he lives with his parents) he called me every single day or emailed me every day. one day, he said he’s ready for the next step. i wasn’t thinking of that at that time. i continued to hang out with some girlfriends and friends that called. when he came back, we spent everyday, everynight together for 1 month. he bought me many little gifts from his trip. wrote in his diary about me every day. i was pleased with his attention. then during holidays, i started to notice it wasn’t eventful and nothing was ever planned. i grew so attached to him, i just wanted to spend everyday with him. i was quite disappointed that nye wasnt planned either. he was laid off from his job 10 months ago and money has been a little bit of an issue for him. which i try to cover the outtings as much as possible. he treated here and there, spent money here and there. nothing calculated. when practicum started for me, that’s when things changed. i spent all my time with him that i barely worked on my work. i work on it enough, but not enough. i was not happy doing it because it was like walking into a test without studying. i consoled him and asked him if i should continue, he said he was supportive of either way i chose. he said give it a couple more days first. i tried and i couldn’t make up my mind whether or not i could continue with it. i then called in sick and did not show up. i made some family excuse for not being able to go through with it. i am quite depressed about how i behaved. i have anxiety and am quite lost because of my impulsive decisions. i don’t know where the problem is. or i feel like it is my fault. i couldn’t get my work done because i was constantly thinking about what he was doing and if he would be spending time wiht someone else because he cheated on his ex when she was studying. i feel that the relationship has somehow subconsciously instilled some kind of mistrust. is it me or the relationship? or both? january 27, 2010, 6:20 am candy i totally agree with the male perspective. why would you jump into bed with guy so fast especially if you wanted a serious relationship with him??? fail. september 2, 2009, 12:15 am lissette bad situation:( i bumped into an old high school friend one night at a bar.  we  went to my friends house who was also there that night. we all had a nice time dancing drinking…. don’t even know how it happened but he kissed me. it was the best feeling in the world. i thought of dodging the kiss, but once i felt his lips, i just couldn’t. we ended up sleeping together. i am single, and figured it wouldn’t hurt to have a “special” friend, besides, i felt comfortable with him since he’s been a long time friend (and he was single too). we have great chemistry, we’d see each other and text all the time, slept together a few more times….. this went on for about 4 months. one day i ask him to come out and hang out, he said he could, but the “wifey” (girlfriend) wanted to join…. i was shocked! i had asked him a few times and everytime he denied having a girlfriend. now that its all said and done, we still text and see each other r egularly, we are no longer intimate(my choice and he respects that). if i’d let him, i’m sure he would, but i feel so guilty and can’t do it. unfortunately i fell for him, and  is the reason i still keep in touch. he does what he’d never do before, calls me sweet names, tells me he misses me. we’ve been this way for almost three months now. i’m sure he knows it by now … he’s not getting any… i’m sure he’d stop talking to me if all he wanted was that. when i mention his girlfriend he always has negative things to say. is he just using me because he is tired with his relationship (been with her for 6 years). or has he really developed feelings for me? as much as i know i should stop talking to him for my sake, i can’t! i’ve tried. i don’t know what to do…. i did confront him when he confessed, he said he really wasn’t with her when we hooked up the first time. eventually they got back together and he didn’t know how to tell me. ugh. this is bad, i fell for him before i knew he had a girlfriend and now i’m finding it very hard to let go. he also tells me he can’t get me out of his head…. :/ february 16, 2012, 12:34 pm